Handling Criticism, and Abuse - Wisdom from Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Sathya Sai Formula while facing criticism

Everyone faces criticism. Even the Gods themselves are not spared of criticism. But then, how one faces the criticism determines what one becomes.That’s what the popular story of a donkey that fell in the well tells us. When the donkey fell in the well, it brayed out loud. To ‘bury’ the irritating sound, everyone came and threw mud into the well. The donkey however kept shrugging off the dirt from its body and did not allow itself to get buried under it. Finally, it made use of the mound of mud which had collected in the well to actually get out of the well! Criticism can be used constructively! In fact, ‘constructive criticism’ actually depends on the attitude of the one being criticised and not on the attitude of the one criticising.

Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba (Swami as He is reverentially and endearingly called) says,

“Let us say somebody has criticized you. You get angry/upset. When you get angry/upset, do not react immediately. Think to yourself,

‘Do I have in me the defects that have been pointed out by them? If in case, those defects are there in me, then, is it not my mistake to get angry/upset with them? However, if the blemishes pointed out by them are not present in me, then why should I get angry/upset with them?’

If you thus give an opportunity for such an enquiry and spend time in introspection, your anger will subside.” (From public discourse on 24th May 1992)

Swami, in that same discourse, gives a personal example to make it clear.  

“When people call Me Buttatala Sai Baba (Sai Baba with a basket-like head), it may seem insulting. But, I do have a basket-like head! Therefore, I must accept this is true. But if they call Me Pattatala Sai Baba (Sai Baba with a bald head), then this is not true; so why I should I accept it? Therefore, if blemishes that are not there in me are mentioned right in front of me, even then I will not accept it. That is the right kind of determination. You must have self-confidence.”

Extrapolating the same logic, if the criticism is only partially true, one can accept (and correct if necessary) that part alone, letting go of the rest.

In a public discourse during the annual Summer Course in Indian Culture and Spirituality held at Bangalore in 1990, Swami said,

“Saint Tukaram had good feelings and so, he gave a favourable interpretation to even the rude and negative behaviour of his wife. His senses did not stand in the way of his spiritual progress and equanimity, despite trying circumstances in his family. Likewise, Sant Kabir was always engaged in remembrance of God. So his wife’s behaviour was harmonious and conducive to his spiritual advancement, Einstein, too, had the quality of equanimity in him and was therefore not at all upset by the boisterous behaviour of his wife. From all these instances, it is evident that what you need to do is to harmonise your own thoughts and feelings through proper sadhana (spiritual discipline), rather than blame the environment or other persons for your shortcomings.”

Well, that sums it all up and highlights the truth that whether criticism is constructive or destructive depends on the attitude and sadhana of the one facing criticism.

A special case: Criticism of one’s Guru

For many Sai-devotees (and I presume it is the case for devotees/followers of other Gurus/Masters as well), there is one criticism that is hard to overcome - the criticism of one’s Master/Guru/God/Religion. I remember how my blood has boiled whenever I have read heavily concocted and hastily written articles on my Swami by half-baked journalists whose sole goal seems to be capturing eyeballs at any cost. There are also some people on the internet (I will not name them and pollute my blog or the readers’ minds) who make ad-money and build a reputation for themselves by specifically targeting Swami using hook or crook (mostly crook). They doctor images, quote media out of context and spit venom camouflaging it as scientific journalism. And I get angry and upset. I can possibly learn to stand criticism when it concerns me but when a being that I have personally experienced for two decades to be an epitome of love, sacrifice and selflessness is unfairly criticised, righteous anger wells up within. It is almost like I am unable to bear it if someone unfairly abuses my father or mother! What should I do then?

Prof. Nanjundaiah’s experience with Swami regarding this is very enlightening and liberating.

Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 1

The problem of being judgemental

It appears as if man is a judgemental creature by nature. Having been endowed with a mind that no other creature in the universe possesses, man seems to engage it constantly to analyse, form opinions and finally pass judgement on almost everyone and everything he comes in contact with. This whole process happens so spontaneously yet unconsciously that if one were to ask someone,

“Are you judgemental?”

the answer would most probably be a negative or a “maybe I am judgemental at times". Very few actually know and have the courage to accept that they are judgemental. All the others either just lie or lack the knowledge. (There you go, I have already proved that I am judgemental!)

It seems to be a very hard task to go about the day without judging someone or something. We have opinions and thoughts about everything in life (almost). If you don’t believe me, try out this simple experiment. Just go to anybody and ask him/her a question. Just ensure that, before you ask the question, you preface the question with the phrase - In your opinion. For instance, if you wish to ask about global warming, don’t ask

“What is global warming?”

The answer that you get might be brief or even non-existent when the person just says,

“I hear a lot about it and I think it is something bad.”

Instead, just change the question to,

“In your opinion, what is global warming?”

Ah! Now you get a lot of words. In fact, there are cases of a person having an opinion about a subject though he/she has no knowledge of the subject! And this can be extended towards people too. We have opinions and pass judgement about people though we have no knowledge about them, their situations and circumstances.

Okay! So we are judgemental. Is there a problem in that? Of course there is. Being judgemental is a sure-shot path to unrest and loss of peace. A lot of energy (physical, mental and spiritual) is wasted and unnecessary conflicts/debates/arguments arise. Recognizing this, the saint, Mother Teresa said,

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

My Master and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba presents the same in the light of God,

“Sarva Deva Namaskaram Keshavam Prati Gachchati

Sarva Deva Tiraskaram, Keshavam Prati Gachchati.”

(The salutations offered to any/all beings goes to God. The criticism offered to any/all beings goes to God.)

He also goes on to state that if at all you wish to criticize anyone, it would be best to indulge in constructive self-criticism which leads to growth and betterment.

It was via a remarkable sequence of events and an unfolding of a Divine drama that I learned the importance of not being judgemental. The happenings spanned over three days - the 25th, 26th and 27th of September, 2009 - and they give a profound insight on why and how one should not be judgemental.

Beginnings of a drama

Dusshera, the festival marking the victory of Lord Rama over the demon Ravana, is celebrated annually with great fervour in Prasanthi Nilayam. It is also called Navarathri. (Dusshera signifies 10 days while Navarathri stands for 9 nights). One of the highlights of the Dusshera festival was the Divine Discourse that Swami would deliver on each and every evening, at the end of the day’s proceedings of the Veda Purusha Saptaha Jnana Yajna (a fire sacrifice for world peace that is held for seven days). In 2009, the Yajna began on the 22nd of September. However, even after 3 days of the Yajna starting, Swami had not delivered a discourse! This was quite disappointing for me and, I am sure, for all the assembled thousands in Prasanthi Nilayam. Every evening session used to have 2-3 speakers who unusually spoke for 25-30 minutes (instead of the standard 10-15 minutes). As a result, by the time the speeches ended, it was quite late in the evening. Swami would then ask the students in the bhajan group to sing bhajans at the end of which He would receive Arati, bless everyone and leave the Kulwant Hall premises.

The speeches being delivered were so unusually long that on the third day of the Yajna, Swami asked the final speaker to conclude his talk as it was getting late. Swami lovingly told him that he would give him a chance to conclude on the next day! Sitting in the front lines of the hall and witnessing this assurance from Swami, I could not help get overwhelmed at His love and kindness. At the same time, I was thrilled by the next statement that Swami made. He said,

"Tomorrow, I will speak."

The time was 6:40pm and it appeared to be the only reason why an otherwise ‘eager’ Swami was not delivering His discourse.

On the fourth day of the Yajna, something interesting happened. It was the 25th of September and the master of ceremonies introduced 3 speakers for the evening. I was seated in the second line right in front of the dais. Even as the speakers were introduced, I felt disappointed within. I thought,

“Oh no! Not again! I hope that these speakers realize the truth that everyone here is waiting to hear Swami and not them. They better conclude in 10 minutes so that there is sufficient time for Swami’s discourse.”

The first speaker started off his speech offering his salutations to Swami. It was the same person whom Swami had promised a second innings in lieu of the abrupt conclusion of his speech on the previous evening. I realized that the original number of 2 speakers had been increased to 3 because of Swami’s promise the previous evening. However, the statement from Swami that He would also speak kept me in an anticipatory frame of mind. I was waiting for the speeches to conclude.

Judgemental nature kicks in

Once the first speaker crossed the 20-minute mark, I got a bit irritated. My judgemental mind kicked in automatically. Adding fuel  to this fire of irritation was the fact that the second speaker too proceeded beyond the 20-minute mark! I began to mentally rant,

“This is really unfair for Swami! He had clearly expressed His desire to speak yesterday and none of the speakers seem to care even the slightest for it. They just go on and on in their swollen egos. Why don’t they just stop speaking and allow Swami to deliver His discourse? They claim to love Swami but do not care for His wishes and desires!”

Thus, I mentally branded all the speakers as egotists who did not care for Swami in the least. At that point in time, I did not feel in the slightest that I was being judgemental and critical. I felt that anybody with the slightest feeling for Swami would empathise and agree totally along my line of thinking. Well, for that matter, will the reader who has come up to this point of the narrative also not tend to agree with me? If not, I am sure that what happened next will surely get you to empathise and agree with me. If even after reading the next paragraph I don’t win you over to subscribe to my line of thinking, I guess this article is definitely not needed for you in terms of the lesson it conveys. You can however, still read it to enjoy a nice story! :)

As the third speaker was speaking, Swami placed His head upon the palm of His right hand and began to look at me. Our eyes met and Swami kept looking at me. I was almost about to get up to ask Swami whether He wished to convey anything. He smiled and looked away. I relaxed my tensed calf muscles. even as that happened, He began to look at me once again. My focus on Him was so intense that I was deaf to whatever the speaker was saying. And then, He signalled to me!

With a gesture of helplessness, shaking His head and hands, Swami indicated to me that He never gets the chance to speak. I was so moved at “His plight”. Though the speaker was speaking, I slightly raised on my knees, folded my hands and gesture-communicated to Swami that He should speak. He again made a gesture of helplessness. My blood was boiling now. I felt that the whole world was so selfish when it came to Swami. By now, almost everyone in the front rows came to know of “Swami’s predicament”. This was evident in what happened after the speaker concluded the talk.

Swami told the students to sing a couple of bhajans after which He received Arati. As is the practice, the prayer for universal peace - Samastha Lokaha Sukhino Bhavanthu - was chanted thrice before the session ended. Swami sat silently, gazing at the audience. Many of the students in the front rows (me included), filled this silence with a plea,

“Swami, you should speak.”

There was no response from Swami and He continued to sit silent. Gathering courage, I got up and walked up to Him on the dais. Surprisingly, Swami did not protest or tell me to sit down. It was as if He was expecting me to go to Him on the stage.

I thought of expressing the feelings in my (and everyone's) heart as I went up the stage...

Folding my hands, I knelt before Him. I offered a prayer on behalf of everyone in the hall,

“Swami, please, speak to all of us Swami.”

Immediately, Swami flared up with irritation. He said,

“It is late already. So how can I speak?”

“Swami, at least tomorrow? There is no need of anybody else. Only you speak - that is enough.”

“How can I? I am presented with a big list of speakers beforehand.”

“Swami, for tomorrow, there is no need to entertain anyone’s list of speakers. You  just speak and that is enough.”

“Tell all this to your teachers (and not to me)!”

I nodded in complete agreement. I turned and pointed out the entire audience to Swami saying,

“Swami all are here only to hear you speak. There are here for you only and not for anyone else.”

At this point, another student, B.Prabhakar, took courage and came up the stage. He said,

“Swami, it is our desire that we hear the ceaseless flow of nectar from your divine lips.”

Swami smiled and patted him.He looked at both of us. He appeared to have ‘calmed down’ as He said,

“See, today my voice is not good. I shall speak tomorrow.”

Resolve

My mind rushed back to its thoughts and feelings a few minutes ago. I was thinking that it was high time to silence the ‘selfish’ speakers. I wondered who it was that ‘pressurised’ Swami to cede to speeches in spite of everyone’s wishes and His own wish that He speak!I wanted to spoil the ‘speakers’ party’ the next day. There was silence as we sat near Him. I wanted to tell Him that any session becomes complete and fulfilled only when He speaks. In Telugu, the word for fulfillment is Poornam. However, so many thoughts were going on in my head that when I spoke, instead of the words Poornam, I pronounced it as Poornahuthi (the final offering made to the Yajnam.)

“Swami, only if you speak then it becomes Poornahuthi.

Swami smiled and corrected me,

“Poornahuthi is several days later!”

So I asked Swami,

“Swami shall we make an announcement that you will speak tomorrow? That will make everyone rejoice!”

"No! I will speak only to the children!"

When I did not get Him the first time, He repeated it for me. I nodded, thinking that, out of His great Love, Swami was not wanting to embarrass those egotists by making their ‘selfishness’ public! It was indeed His great Love. What I did not realize was that rather than preventing embarrassment to the egotists, Swami said that to ensure that I would learn a very important lesson about not being judgemental. And that lesson would inspire me to see God in everyone at a practical level rather than just at a purely theoretical level - a lesson which would explain the significance of Shakespeare’s opening lines in a famous poem. 

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts.

B. Prabhakar too joined me on the stage after a while! :)

But all that would happen over the next two days. Right now, I was waiting for the session to complete so that I could go and speak to some of the teachers as Swami had indicated. I decided that I would even speak to the vice chancellor and other elders if need be. What did I have to fear or lose? Swami had given me the instruction and I would just be doing His bidding. Knowing that one is doing the Lord’s bidding  is enough to instill absolute fearlessness in the heart.

“Truth has no fear. Untruth and falsehood shivers at every shadow”, says Bhagawan.

In fact, fearlessness is one of the foremost traits of a devotee because it is only God who can confer such fearlessness. That is echoed in 27th name of the Sri Sathya Sai Ashtotram,

Aum Sri Sai Abhaya Pradaya Namaha. (Salutations to Sri Sai whose Grace rescues us from all fears and grants us security from all harm.)

With this resolve to take some of the most important people head-on in a matter which was so important to Swami and all the devotees, I returned to my place in the hall as Swami retired for the day.

to be concluded in the second part posted at the following link:

Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 2

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed month-wise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 225 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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Destiny or Freewill - the third option by Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Debate Classics 

With God, there is always a third option which is completely different
from the available two options. 

There are some debate topics that are considered timeless because they seem to rage on in the hearts and minds of people with no apparent solution at hand. Like the famous question on whether the hen came first or the egg, such debate topics have no provable answer. That is the reason why they are picked for debates - because they showcase the debating skills of the participants without actually concluding anything. I remember one such debate in my college days on whether the means justify the ends or whether the ends justify the means. After an hour of grueling and intense debate, the moderator walked up to the lectern and said,

"The debate appears to have come to an end today as the allotted 1 hour is up. However, in reality, the debate has not ended. It has just begun in the minds of all that have assembled here and that should rage on till we find answers for ourselves."

I must confess that living with my Master, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, and experiencing His divinity, I have got my answers to several such debates which rage in the inner recesses of one's being. The question of means v/s ends has been amicably resolved with the experience of Mr.Pushkaraj Gumaste. Another debate that raged on within me till recent times was the timeless classic on whether one is governed by destiny or by one's efforts. The destiny v/s freewill debate has been battled out in many bustling classrooms, on daises and stages of different levels and even on television shows. However, while everyone has a point of view and fiercely argues for it, even to this day not many can claim clarity on the subject. Nobody is convincing enough for us to accept completely, without reservations.

Would it raise eyebrows if I were to claim that this debate too has been resolved in a beautiful manner for me by my Swami? The answer arrives via the experience of Prof.Raghunath.N.Safaya in the early 1980s with 1983 being the most probable year of happening. It was narrated to me by one of the first students of the revered professor, Sunam Gyamtso. Sunam's account gave me a very unique answer for this question of freewill v/s destiny and, more importantly, filled my heart with a lot of cheer. Without further ado, let me spread and share that same cheer to all the readers.

A very different teacher in the class

That eventful day in the spring of 1983 is unforgettable for Sunam. He was sitting along with his classmates, awaiting the beginning of the Philosophy class. The lecture was to be delivered by Prof. Raghunath Safaya. He was a stickler for time and was never late for class. Today, however, seemed to be a rare exception. He walked into the class after a good five minutes of the bell being rung. And even as he walked in, he seemed to be quivering and quaking. The students looked at each other. They knew that something was amiss. Did they spot a few tears behind those thickset glasses that the professor wore? Was there a faint quiver in his voice when he wished the whole class 'Good Morning' and 'Sairam'?

Prof.Raghunath Safaya in a group photograph with Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba and other teachers in the foyer
of the college building. He is seated to the extreme right of Bhagawan. To his left is Gangadhar Shastry. To Swami's
left is Kirti Ravel (Hindi) and to his left is CLN Murthy. To extreme left of Swami is Kuppuswamy beside whom 
Sandeep Shastri is kneeling. 

A brief history of the revered professor is in order here. Prof.Safaya was well-versed in his subjects and was a master in philosophy and history. His hometown was Chandigarh in North India and he had traversed hundreds of miles to serve as a teacher in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. Previously, he worked at the Teachers' Training Institute at Chandigarh. His greatest passion, hobby and love in life were astrology and palmistry. That was something that he had inherited from his ancestors, all of whom had been respected for their knowledge of the way in which the planets and stars in the skies along with the lines on one's palm influence one's life.

And so, Prof.Safaya was the owner of a set of heavy books on astrology and palmistry which had arrived into his hands like an heirloom. He often fascinated his students with his knowledge of these sciences which seemed to be far greater than his knowledge of history and philosophy too. In fact, his faith and confidence in these sciences was also far greater than his faith in Swami.

According to him, Swami was a very wonderful and evolved human being who was spreading goodness in society - nothing more, nothing less. That was what had attracted him to Him and he tried to imbibe as much goodness from Him as he could. Swami, on His part, seemed very happy with the professor's efforts. He appreciated them and Prof.Safaya often got interviews.

Sunam and his classmates knew that today was another such day when the professor had received an interview with Swami. But never before had they seen him in such a state of overwhelming emotion. What had transpired today?

A ruler of lines falls in line with the rules of the ruler

Prof. Safaya himself narrated the powerful happenings of the morning. Swami had called him in for an interview. He entered the interview room and for the first few minutes, the interview went along the lines of the previous interviews. Swami asked him how things were going, how the students were and so on. Then, out of the blue, Swami told him,

"You seem to have great faith in the predictive sciences of your forefathers. That overpowers even your faith in God's strength! Do you believe that commensurate to your surrender, I will take care of everything for you?"

The professor was taken aback. The question was direct and almost in his face. However, it was not easy for him to instantly transform his reverence for Swami into implicit faith. He had heard about the power and grace of God, but wasn't it this very Swami who had gifted him with an emerald ring to wear? Emerald was his lucky stone and green, his lucky color. Having adhered to such talismans of luck Himself, how could Swami ask him to give up all that he had learnt as ancestral wisdom? Little did Prof.Safaya realize then that with God by his side, even misfortune could become a good-luck talisman - that is the capacity of Divine power.

Swami continued to taunt,

"Professor, your sciences can only predict. Can they help you intervene if something is unfavourable?"

Prof. Safaya knew this to be the truth. Though astrology and palmistry suggested some remedial measures for impending 'disasters', he knew that none of these remedies were foolproof.

Swami now did something that he had never imagined. Calling him closer, He held both his hands. Slowly, Swami brushed His palms over the professor's upturned palms. Then He told him,

"Tell me, what does life hold for you?"

The professor looked down at his palms. Having seen them every day of his life, he actually had no need to do that. He knew the contours on his palm by heart. The lines were etched in his memory stronger than they were on his palm. It was only out of respect for Swami that he looked at his palms. He was in for a shock.

Amid tears, the professor told his philosophy class students,

"When I looked, I did not find a single line on my palms. They had been wiped clean - no trace of even the faintest etch!"

The power of surrender

As the class listened with bated breath, the professor continued his narrative. Swami stood smiling in front of him, apparently enjoying the professor's discomfiture and shock. Prof. Safaya just broke down and Swami lovingly patted him.

"Don't worry about anything. Once you surrender to me, I shall take care of everything."

The professor fell to his knees and touched Swami's feet. What he had thought as impossible had actually happened - his reverence for Swami had transformed into implicit faith in a moment!

"Yes Swami! Yes Swami! I believe that commensurate to our surrender, you take care. Complete surrender means a life completely taken care of!"

Swami smiled at him again and touched his palms again. The lines were all back again - to the last detail! The professor was overwhelmed at the presence of this Master who could wipe out and re-draw the lines on his palm at will.

"You have nothing to worry when I am shouldering your lives. Just surrender, that is enough."

The interview was complete after that. Swami opened the door and let the professor out. It was time for his class in the Institute and Swami knew that he was a stickler for time. However, the dialogue on surrender had been so powerful that the professor decided to temporarily suspend his punctuality.

Instead of walking to the Institute, he walked straight to his room. He gathered his precious heirloom - all the thick books on astrology and palmistry. He bundled them all up in a big cloth and carried the bundle out of the room. He walked to the large ground-level well that was located behind the planetarium beside the Institute building. Without further thought, he just dumped all the books into the well. Then, wiping his tears, he walked to the waiting class.

Destiny or Freewill

"Dear students", he told them, "trust me, the science of astrology and palmistry are nothing compared to Swami's grace and power. I feel so redeemed today."

As I heard Sunam recounting the greatest philosophy lesson of the professor, I got my answer to the destiny and freewill debate. So, is it destiny of self-effort finally? My answer is - Who cares? I know for sure that Swami's grace is more powerful than my destiny, more effective than my efforts. And so, when presented with the choices, I go for the third option. As martial artist David Carradine says,

"There's always a third way, and it's not a combination of the other two ways. It's a different way."

And that way, for me is surrender. Swami has also given an elegant, practical way to practice surrender. If I can just follow that, it will be enough. The debate will cease and it will not matter to me whether it is destiny or my effort that is affecting me because I will have something far more powerful taking care of me. That is the way I shall go about in life now. And now, Swami's quote on destiny and self-effort gains greater meaning for me

"What you meet in life is destiny. How you meet it is self-effort."

If you liked this, you might also enjoy the following:

1. The powerful attraction between goodness and godliness - a professor's experience.

2. Waiting for the Lord - a dancer's experience with Sri Sathya Sai.

3. How Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba helped me in my career choice.

4. Death is the dress of life. 

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed monthwise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)