The story of 'Living with God' - experiences of eighteen Sai students and teachers

90th birthday gift

Ever since the 89th Birthday celebrations of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, my dearest Swami, I was contemplating on a gift that I could give Him for His 90th birthday. With my little understanding of my Swami, I knew that something that would make the others happy is the only gift He seeks. It was this very understanding that had inspired me to write two books detailing my experiences and learning at His lotus feet. While ‘Memoirs of a Sai Student’ had been my gift to Him in 2013, ‘Capturing Divinity’ was gifted to Him in 2014. (Today, I know that these books have actually been His gifts to me rather than the other way round. But coming to think of it, can we ever gift anything to the Master when everything already belongs to Him?)

The first book - capturing stories as His student.

I had noticed that the joy derived from experiences with Swami increases when it is shared with humility and love. In fact, the listener/reader also partially experiences the same joy that you had experienced. The joy that so many loving members of the Sai-family (the global family that we have been gifted because of the common bond of love for Swami) conveyed to me, convinced me that my gifts to Swami had been appreciated by Him.

For the 90th birthday, I wanted to gift something more special. I was thinking on what I should do throughout the year because, unlike usual birthday gifts, one cannot ‘buy’ a ‘gift’ for Swami a few days prior to the D-Day. Since the Lord sees the purity, intent and effort behind the gift, in my humble opinion, the gift must be a persevering effort culminating on the Birthday. I had already offered two books. Wouldn't He be bored receiving the same gifts year after year? What else could I do to make Him happy? These were my prayers and thoughts.

Before I could think of anything else, it seemed as if Swami wanted to reinforce the idea that I must do something to make others happy in order to make Him happy. That happened in a very ‘coincidental’ manner via the Birthday theme audio created by Radiosai. The theme starts with Swami’s sweet voice saying,

Prema Swaroopulara,

Happy Happy Happy; Be happy.

Happy Happy Happy; Make others happy

All will be happy, then God will be happy.

So that was decided. The question remained - what should I do to make others happy which would in turn make my Swami happy?

A moment of silent introspection later I got my answer.

Delhi-Simla Memories- Part 2 - Dinner with God

The Sri Sathya Sai International Centre

After 28 years on earth and in India, this was the first time I was visiting the country’s capital city. And I had spent the first hour there dozing in an air-conditioned bus wading through Delhi’s traffic-filled roads as the adrenaline rush of the morning faded. The fresh excitement of seeing Swami in Delhi kept waking me from my siesta and that was when I noticed how congested the roads of Delhi were even though they were broad.

A view of the reception that Swami received at the Delhi airport! Almost everyone in the vicinity who had the
permission to be on the tarmac was present there! (In the foreground is the lift vehicle via which Swami descended). 

It was past 6 pm when we reached the Sri Sathya Sai International Centre which had been filled to the brim. A few volunteers rushed to welcome us and make a way for our bus to enter the premises. I jumped down with my camera and followed the volunteers. Along the way, we were informed that Swami had blessed the gathering during the bhajans, received Aarthi and had retired for the day, while we had been stuck in a bus in the Delhi traffic jam! 

The first bhajans and Aarthi in the Divine physical presence at the Sri Sathya Sai International Centre.

Before entering the building, I saw my father and called out to him.

“Appa!”

He smiled at me and waved back to me.

{Came here directly? Part 1 is at the link below:

Delhi-Simla memories - Part 1 - Hello Delhi}

We were then led through what I thought was a maze at the end of which, was a small auditorium. From there, we arrived at a landing area with a lift which had been used by Swami to go to His room upstairs. We were told that Swami was waiting for the boys and that we should go to our rooms, freshen up and return ASAP. Our rooms were in the adjacent building. Thus, instead of taking the stairs to the top, we took the exit to the side of the lift. Coming out of the door I realized that Swami’s lift was actually right next to the place where our bus had parked! The maze-travel had confused me into thinking that the lift was very far. I was reminded of Kabirdas’ musk deer which roams the entire forest in search of the fragrance that emanates from its own navel!  Maybe this is how travelling towards God is - always simple but we travel through mazes and think it to be complicated!

The area where our bus came and parked. To the left is Swami's residence building to the left of which is the darshan grounds.
To the right is the building where we were accommodated.

A picture of the main entrance of the Sri Sathya Sai International Centre readying itself to receive the Lord. (The previous picture is taken when the gates have been opened. 

Three rooms had been assigned to us and they were in the third floor of the adjacent building. They were actually classrooms that had been converted into living quarters. Beds had been laid on the ground, dormitory style, and the rooms were pleasantly cool thanks to the air conditioning. The Hadshi experience had taught me not to pick a spot near someone who snores while sleeping at night. Tell me your company and I shall tell you how you slept at night - was my motto! Thus, I chose my neighbours carefully, deposited my baggage and freshened up.

As I came out of the building, I met Amma (my mother). She was happy at the close darshan that she had got and I was happy seeing her so happy. I assured her that I would somehow get passes for them the next day and I hurried on towards Swami’s residence. On the way, I met Mrs. Malvika Rai, her husband, Mr.Anil Rai and their daughter. It was nice seeing them and I remembered how they had wished me well and told me at Parthi,

“We pray that we see you in Delhi.”

I offered my gratitude to them for their good wishes and told myself that getting the blessings of elders in any endeavour would always bode well for anyone. We all ushered into the auditorium where we were formally welcomed to Delhi by Mr. Rasagotra. Swami had not yet come to the dining hall and this session in the auditorium was an extempore plan to keep us engaged while we waited.

The story behind the 'Memoirs of a Sai Student' - Part 2

Time and tide wait for none

The blessing (or rather the lack of it) for the manuscript on my birthday was a powerful prodding for me to not give up on the idea of a book of student-experiences. By this time, Swami had blessed my parents also to come and settle down in Puttaparthi after my father’s retirement. Thanks to my parents’ presence, I was relatively freed from my daily ‘maintenance’ chores. In the free time thus obtained, I made a humble beginning for the book of my life. I had no previous experience in writing a book. I did not know where to begin and how to proceed. I knew that when God gives a task, He also gives the strength needed to achieve it. I only had to start making the efforts and things would evolve as per His plan. Thus, I opened my first-ever personal diary and read through the first twenty pages. Then, I began to write whatever I felt. The beginning had been made!

{This is the concluding part of a story that is midway through its revelation. If you wish to enjoy the full story, please start from the beginning at Part 1 in the link below:

The story behind the 'Memoirs of a Sai Student' - Part 1 }

But then, the inspiration was soon put on hold because I got pulled into writing another book. Recency effect made me start writing about the recently concluded trip to Delhi and Simla. The desire to publish a book had gotten so strong in me that my mind was offering easy avenues to complete a book. I had elaborate notes and hundreds of photos from the recent trip. So, I thought I would make a ‘quick book’ out of it! At the same time, a plethora of activities began at Radiosai for the upcoming 85th Birthday celebrations of Bhagawan Baba. I got fully immersed in the making of the “Message of the Lord” - a 30-part video-serial on the life and teachings of Swami. There was also a lot of activity on the production of the grand musical - Prema Pravaham. Added to these, a plethora of cultural programmes at Sai Kulwant hall by devotees from all over the world, kept me on my toes and I literally had no time to sitting calmly and writing a book.

A screen-shot of the second episode in the Message of  the Lord serial. The 30-part serial
has been received very well the world over and can be accessed from the Radiosai site. 

2010 was over in no time and in flowed 2011. Before I could understand the implications of the grand drama that the Lord played, Swami had left the physical. It is impossible to describe what I went through and I am sure that most readers will be able to empathise with me. My world seemed to have come to an end. Everything that I held most dear, seemed to have been cruelly snatched away from me. No amount of tears shed seemed to assuage the pain my heart was reeling under. I did not know what to do. I just cried more.

Pain-soothing balm

Swami is the most loving and compassionate one. He will Himself bear great pain but He is unable to bear the pain of those that love Him and miss Him. In His own special way, He reminded me of what I should do to get rid of the pain and vacuum that had enveloped my heart. The answer came in the form of a memory...

It was something that Swami had told us at the conclusion of an unforgettable group interview during Ramadan in 2006. It had been a very warm and lovely session and so, it was not surprising that at the end, all of us prayed to Swami that we should always be close to Him. He had smiled and said that ‘nearness’ might not be possible all the time. But He also added,

“Treasure and cherish all that you have received now. Keep contemplating on these moments and derive joy from them always. Be happy always.”

A memorable moment from the interview on Ramadan in 2006 where Swami advised us on how to be happy always
irrespective of His physical proximity.

‘Receiving’ from Swami is only one part of the blessing. Living and reliving what I have received is the way to be happy always. I had got my answer! Thus I started my blogging journey.

The story behind the 'Memoirs of a Sai Student' - Part 1

The ultimate author is God alone

The epitaph of Benjamin Franklin, the inventor who was
a printer by profession speaks of God
as the Ultimate Author!

It is almost impossible to understand how events will unfold in the future. The future is a deep mystery. It is also impossible to change the way things have happened in the past. The past is history. The present is something that I can influence. It is a gift from God. That is why it is called ‘the present’. However, it is not as if the ‘present’ is any less unfathomable than the ‘future’ or the ‘past’. Many times, I come across situations in day to day life that I do not understand; that frustrate me, irritate me, depress me and anger me. And I don’t understand why or how they are happening. While it is true that we have to focus on the present, that focus must be backed by a keen eye on the lessons from the past and a strong faith in the hope for the future. The present is, after all, the seed which has arrived from the tree of the past and is the precursor for the tree of the future.

The present serves as a very good point in time to look back in retrospect.  Thus, any time is a good retrospection time! When done honestly and sincerely, such retrospection leads one towards recognizing the immense blessings received. It also makes one humble and grateful. More than anything else, it makes one understand that the mind is too tiny an instrument to fathom the mysterious workings of the universe, let alone God!

I say all this because today, I am introduced to people as a ‘writer’ or an ‘author’. When that happens,  I smile within myself because becoming that was not in the wildest imagination of my most distant dreams. And yet, there are two ‘successful’ books along with two ‘popular’ blogs to my credit. The ego is a very subtle and silent fellow. He has the ability to disguise even selfishness as selflessness. Then, what can I say about the easier task of disguising pride and a swollen head as gratitude and a broad mind? Many have been the occasions when a pat on my back has resulted in my head swelling up! What modern science can explain this connection between the head and the back?

The "Memoirs of a Sai Student" about which this story is all about is available on Amazon also now. Just scan the
QR code in the right-hand corner of this image to go directly and buy it!

It is at such moments that I sit back and look at my life in retrospect, to realize that it has solely been the working of my best friend, master and God rolled into one, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, all through. I am a zero without Him; but a hero when I have Him by my side. That is why, I decided to write this story - as a reminder of that truth to myself and to anyone else who might mistake me for an ‘author’ or ‘writer’.

The source of all writing content

It all started when I joined the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School in 1998. I was convinced that I would be enjoying a rare privilege - of studying under the direct guidance of Divinity. I resolved to treasure each moment that I spend in Swami’s presence. As an expression of this cherishment, I started to maintain a diary in which I would record my thoughts, feelings and experiences almost on a daily basis. I imagined how it would have been had the cowherds of Krishna’s time, the apostles of Jesus or the disciples of the Buddha had maintained daily records of the happenings with Divinity. I felt that these diary entries would be of no less significance for they concerned the Avatar of the age, my Swami. In the nine years as a student, I accumulated more than half a dozen diaries after which I shifted to virtual version of the diary in Google Docs. When Swami granted me a job at Radiosai, I got the opportunity to maintain the Prasanthi Diary section of the site, which seemed just like an extension of my diary-writing habit. Thus I had two virtual diaries to maintain - the Prasanthi Diary for public consumption and my own personal diary for my record.