Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - the love story of Vijaya Sunder with his Swami_Part 3

Unfolding of the Divine punishment

God is often seen as a Mighty Judge, sitting high above mankind, branding and separating people as good and bad; as noble souls and sinners. How very wrong this idea is! In fact, every part of the statement is incorrect. To begin with, God is not a judge. When you judge someone, you cannot love him/her. When God loves everyone equally, how can we ever criticize Him of judging? Every moment of Swami’s life is filled with pure Love. Where is the time and space for Him to judge then? The next part of the statement about Him branding and separating people is also false. He always exhorts us to be united - to see unity in the apparent diversity. Finally, the way God views ‘noble souls’ and ‘sinners’ is totally different from the way we view them. For God, every saint has a past and every sinner, a future!

Therefore, when we speak of God’s ‘punishment’, we have to understand the context properly. For instance, while the Government of India decided that the apt punishment for a murderer was a noose around his neck, Swami decided that the perfect punishment would be a rosary instead of the noose. And this is because Swami believes in finishing off the murderous tendencies rather than the murderer. That was the life story of Kalpagiri. So, when Swami says that both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ done in the Divine Presence come back to you a hundredfold, He speaks not about reward and punishment the way we understand them, but of balance and harmony.

Vijay had no doubt destroyed a picture of Swami. And no doubt he had to ‘pay’ a hundredfold to set that right. But it would be totally wrong to consider that as ‘punishment’ the way we understand it. The way Swami made him pay back a hundredfold was so beautiful and uplifting.
{This is the final part of a story which has a lot of background. To enjoy it completely, please read it only after reading the first two parts which are at the links given below.
PART 1: Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - Part 1
PART 2:
Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - Part 2 }

“You destroyed an image of Me. Now you will have to make a hundred images for Me. That will be your punishment; that will be your redemption.”

So beautiful isn’t it? The way God ‘punishes’ us ensures that it helps us attain the ultimate goal of life at the earliest. His ‘punishment’ too is an act of supreme compassion and grace. That was what an overwhelmed Vijay discovered on his journey of a hundred ‘payback images’. Speak to him today and he will say that he wishes he could pay back a thousandfold! One of the earliest among his sketches was of Sri.N.Kasturi.

PART 2_Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - the love story of Vijaya Sunder with his Swami

First trip to Puttaparthi

Vijay informed his parents about the chance he had got to go to Puttaparthi and be part of a drama to be staged there. They were happy. The past few years had seemed to really improve their son and his positive outlook towards Swami delighted them.

Vijay performed his role behind the scenes to the best of his ability and sincerity. As instructed, he made sure that he did not peep to get a darshan of Swami during the drama and, when the time came, he showered ‘Adi Sankaracharya’ with gold. When the drama concluded, Swami moved down the dais, amidst the children. He blessed all the actors with clothes. He also materialized vibhuti for some of the actors. Having done this, as He sat on the stage, the supreme Lord of the Universe seemed unsatisfied! He is never satisfied when it comes to giving.

He said something to the attendant boy by his side. A tray was brought from within and Swami beckoned to the actors. He handed over a wristwatch to each and every one of them. The line of actors ended but not Swami’s enthusiasm to give. He looked beyond, at the sets’ boys seated behind. Sathya Sai is a silent worker - always acting behind the scenes and giving credit to others. He definitely knows what it is to be a background worker! He beckoned to the sets’ boys too and Vijay was one among the first few to go to Him.

Swami blessing Vijay with gold chain that He materialised with a wave of His hand. This was in 2008. 

(This is the second part of an interesting story. You will get maximum joy by reading it in the proper chronology. In case you have missed it, read the first part at the link below before returning to this part.

Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - the love story of Vijaya Sunder with his Swami_Part 1)

Vijay knelt before Swami. It was for the first time in his life that he was seeing Swami from such close quarters. Swami held out a wristwatch for him. But Vijay’s attention was not on the watch. He was drinking deep into the fountain of beauty that Swami is. That momentary experience was enough to make Vijay desire madly for a seat in Swami’s college. He remembered Shyam’s words that one got admission in Swami’s college only when He wills. So, he told Swami,

“Please give me admission in your college. I want a seat.”

“Ok. Take”, said Swami, handing him the watch.

Vijay did not understand whether Swami was asking him to ‘take’ the watch or the seat. He did not know then that Swami has the ability to bless two birds with the same stone! He felt that Swami wanted to get ‘rid’ of his pestering presence. He took the watch and walked back to his place.

Thus concluded the Parthi trip which triggered an insatiable thirst in Vijay to become a student of Swami.

PART 1_Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - the love story of Vijaya Sunder with his Swami

An introductory chapter on the Divine Romance

The Indian summer in 2003 was coming to an end  and giving way to a cool spring. But that made no difference to the sultry climate in the city of Chennai in South India. With the sea breeze plucking the beads of perspiration off his face, Vijaya Sunder ran towards his home. His calf muscles ached from the strain of running and his lungs huffed and puffed with exertion.  But he had a broad smile plastered on his face. The results of the state level (Tamil Nadu) grade XII exam had been declared and Vijay had performed exceedingly well. In fact, he had obtained the perfect result, a centum, in his favourite subjects - Physics and Chemistry. He was convinced that he had moved a step closer towards achieving his dream of becoming an engineer.

“Mom! Dad! Look. I am the state-topper in Chemistry and Physics...” screamed Vijay as he entered the home.

“Ah! Praise be to the Lord”, exclaimed the mother as she rushed out from her morning worship to hug her son.

“C’mon Mom! I wrote the exams and you give credit to your God!” Vijay couldn’t suppress the smile as he said that.

“Whatever you may say. Everything happens because of God.”

Yet another story of divine romance  between the Lord and Vijaya Sunder.

Vijay did not say anything to his mother. She was firmly entrenched in her devotion to god. In spite of the tough life she had lead so far, she found things to thank god for. But Vijay was not interested or bothered about god. He just didn’t want to be bothered by him or her or it - whatever God was. His philosophy was very simple - hard work fetches its rewards while the lack of it results in disappointment. He had worked really hard for his academic excellence and it was only natural that his results reflected that.

Vijay now showed the results to his father who did not say a thing. The tears in his eyes said everything - he was proud, happy and grateful. Vijay’s chest swelled in pride.

“Dad! I want to study in the best of engineering colleges and my marks will ensure a ‘merit’ seat for me.”
“Yes my son!” agreed the father and embraced Vijay. He would get ready now to withdraw the special savings he had made for precisely this purpose.

Like anywhere else in the world, to get into the top notch colleges, one either had to be rich in the intelligence department or had to be the child of a parent rich in the finance department. Finances had always been hard to come by for Vijay’s family. Vijay had been a late-born and his father had retired as a cartoonist at the Indian Express when he was barely 11 years old. On retirement, he had got about 4 lakh rupees (about $10,000 then) as his lifetime savings from the Provident Fund. That had been invested into two separate Chit funds, which are basically microfinance organizations. The interest amount was being used to pay Vijay’s fees and the father hoped to use th principal amount to pay for Vijay’s higher studies. The fees for the 4 years of engineering would be as low as ₹1.8 lakhs now since Vijay had secured a ‘merit’ seat. (A seat by ‘Management quota’ had to be bought for about ₹7 lakhs!) This was better than what Vijay’s father had bargained for.

A God-shattering experience

It was Vijay’s father who received the shock first. Chit funds operate in different ways, and there are also many fraudulent tactics practiced by private firms. The basic necessity of conducting a 'Chitty' is a group needy people called subscribers. The foreman—the company or person conducting the chitty—brings these people together and conducts the chitty. He is also the one who has the ‘power’ to commit fraud.

Each life has a purpose and meaning - a story and an experience with Sri Sathya Sai

Grass is greener on the other side

The expansive garden stretched as far as the eye could see. The myriad variety of trees - crabapples, citrus, myrtles, maples, oaks, banyans and the bright flame of the forest created a multi-hued canopy above. Dandelions, roses, daffodils, magnolias, chrysanthemums, dahlias, daisies, tulips, asters, begonias, carnations, buttercups, foxgloves, clovers, lilacs, jasmine, petunias and even lilies and lotuses in the pond adorned the garden which had aptly been named ‘Eden’. The floor was covered with a soft and velvety carpet grass. Birds and bees abounded in this green space and and their sounds coupled with the breeze to create nature’s harmonic melodies.

And the gardener stood in the middle of the garden with a smile on his face. His toil might not have borne fruits but it had certainly presented him with flowers galore! The sweat on his brow tasted sweet in the magical environment of his garden. The scene was simply perfect. He was  a very satisfied being and it was with great pleasure that he gently ambled along the garden path.

A garden of heavenly delight... That is what life is isn't it?

In this happy scene however, there was a hint of sorrow. In one corner of the garden was a little patch of grass. In that was one single blade that was shedding tears. This blade of grass was not part of the carpet lawns but sadly, felt that it did not belong to the garden too. Seeing the grandeur and beauty around, it cursed its very existence.

“Why did the gardener have to plant me in the first place? The garden is complete even without my pathetic existence...”

The grass blade bent low in its sorrow. It was lost to the peace and joy of the garden.

Dimitri’s tryst with Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

It was in 1978 that a gentleman of Greek origin, Dimitri, came to know of a supposed living God - Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. Dimitri had shifted to the city of Denver, Colorado in the United States of America when he felt an urge to make a trip to India to visit this ‘God-man’. Thus, in 1980, he travelled halfway across the globe to Puttaparthi. Being informed that ‘Swami’ was at His Bangalore ashram in Whitefield, he added another leg to the journey, travelling by road to India’s Garden City. Everyone who has come to Baba has had a wonderful story. You have yours and I have mine. Dimitri was about to get his.

Kumar wins the greatest gift of life from Sri Sathya Sai_Part 2

The bhajan that he could never forget

The bhajan that Kumar had chosen to sing was full of pathos and meaning. It called out to Swami as one’s everything - mother, father, Guru, friend, sibling. It also addressed Him as the Vedas, Upanishads and the Geeta of life. It was a bhajan of complete surrender to Him. Since Kumar had completely been shattered by the tragedy that was happening meters away from where he was singing, he was almost sobbing as he sang. It had taken superhuman effort to sing that day. In fact, such was his emotional turmoil that he sang the first line of the bhajan - Sai Pita aur Mata Sai - twice. He sought some response and solace from Swami but all he had got was to see his Lord turn His face on him, looking outside the hall. Even as he sang, he prayed to Swami within,

“Swami, even in this hour of need, you are not setting aside the cold treatment! You are deserting me and going away from me. who do I turn to now? You don’t even want to hear what I want to say. Have I become so unwanted?”

(Dear reader, if you are reading directly from here, let me assure you that you have missed quite a lot of the story. Please come back to this after reading the first part which is at the link given below:

Kumar wins the greatest gift of life from Sri Sathya Sai_Part 1 )

Soon, Kumar completed his bhajan and the rest of the session went on. It was almost after 5 bhajans that Swami returned after His bonus darshan round. Would there be some compassion for Kumar at least now? He recalls his feelings at that moment.

Swami walked into the bhajan hall, took his seat on the throne. He continued looking outside and enjoying the bhajans like everything was fine. After the 6th bhajan, he got up to receive Arati. Forget talking to me, He did not even glance at me. He simply received Arati and walked out of the bhajan hall, back to his residence. I was totally devastated. I considered it as my worst fate and walked out of the bhajan hall. I wanted to rush home and hoped that Amma would be alive.

Yet another shock

As Kumar exited the bhajan hall and rushed towards EA1, scores of students and teachers walked up to him and patted him on his back saying,

“Blessed you...”

“You are lucky...”

“You are Swami’s very own...”

Kumar was wondering what that all meant. Even the warden walked to him and gave him a gentle pat. Not able to comprehend what was happening, Kumar sprinted towards his house.

Kumar wins the greatest gift of life from Sri Sathya Sai_ Part 1

Off for the darshan of the Lord

The 9th of December in 1986 dawned as usual in the holy hamlet of Puttaparthi, nestling amidst the hills in the Anantapur district of the then united state of Andhra Pradesh in India. The hostel for senior boys was bustling with hectic activity as all of them got ready for the classes of the day. Among the hundreds of such hurrying students was also Mr.V.Kumar, a student of the MBA (Masters of Business Administration) course at the Prasanthi Nilayam campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning.

Like any other place on earth, for most students in Parthi also, classes were not the most exciting prospect of the day. And that was because the most beautiful time of the day was in the evening when they would go for the darshan of their beloved Swami, Bhagawan Baba, in the mandir. So, Kumar too went through the rigmarole of all the classes, eagerly waiting for the sun to move from the east to the western skies. As the last bell of the day at the Institute went off, Kumar rushed to the hostel. He freshened up, tore away the ‘college whites’ that he was wearing to don the bright, creaseless whites that he had kept aside for the darshan.

A photograph of V.Kumar and his parents in the interview room. Swami has signed the photograph for Kumar. This was
just one among the dozens of interviews that he got. 

Within a matter of minutes, Kumar was at the popular Ganesh gate of the ashram. The Ganesh gate was akin to the pit stop in a Formula 1 race. The only difference was that while tires get changed in a pit stop, footwear get lodged in the region near the gate! But just like drivers compete with each other to occupy the pit for the least time possible, the students too try to get rid of the slippers as fast as they can to rush past the chequered flag (read mandir entrance) in order to occupy vantage positions for the darshan.

As Kumar cast away his slippers, he spied on a few that were carefully hiding their footwear. In a place like Prasanthi Nilayam where a few thousand gather daily for darshan, loss of footwear is a regular affair. Some students, in fact, ran a chain around the belts of their flip flops (the most common student-footwear) and locked it, placing the key in their wallets! Prasanthi Nilayam thus, is not only a place of soul-protection but sole-protection too. Kumar was amused at this. However, he too had his own strategy to protect the protectors of his soles. He would leave his slippers near his home, room A1 in East Prasanthi, right next to the mandir. The house was a gift from Swami to his parents in 1985 - a bountiful blessing for the pious souls.

Leaving the slippers outside the temple is so symbolic and pregnant with meaning. It seems to advise us that we should leave everything that has been contaminated by the external world outside before entering God’s place. It is time for the inner world now!

The passport to God - recognizing His omnipresence in our lives

An intellectually invigorating ‘awareness’ class

I vividly remember a discussion during the “Awareness” class of my MSc days at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. The teacher present was Prof.G.Venkataraman, a highly reputed and accomplished man of science in India. The professor had his unique style of conducting awareness classes. He would force us to think deeply to arrive at answers to profound question. He would stitch together deep spirituality with the practical problems the world faces. He always looked forward to questions because he believed that life is not about getting the correct answers but about asking the right questions.  (In fact, I remembered his inspiring presence in the classroom with excitement when my Master, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba told me to join Radiosai as my place of work. GV as he is popularly called was the director under whom I had to report.)

The discussion in class that day was about the omnipresence of God. It started with a question from the professor.

“What is God?” he asked the whole class.

Among the plethora of answers that came was one which said,

“God is the omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient one.”

“Okay”, challenged GV sir, “what do you mean by omnipresent? How is it that God is omnipresent?”

There were no satisfactory answers in the beginning but soon, one boy stood up and answered,

“Sir. God is energy. Energy is God. Since every atom is a storehouse of energy, God is everywhere.”

“Very good”, GV sir was happy, “that is something that everyone recognizes - energy in all matter. In fact, the great Albert Einstein even equated mass with energy with his famous equation. And since everything in the universe has some mass, everything has energy. But that is only one level of God’s omnipresence. He is present in a subtler plane as well. What is that?”

Again, a lot of discussion and thought resulted in the next answer,

“God is life. Life is God. Life is subtler than energy and that is probably why nobody has been able to define what exactly life is. But everyone recognizes life - and when it leaves.”

“Beautiful!” exclaimed the professor, “That is precisely why a son or daughter kneels before the body of the father crying - Father! Why did you leave me? - The body is still there and yet the child knows that the father is gone. Life is sacred. Life is God. Good. But then, there is the subtlest way in which God is present. Do you know that?”

Since there was a muted silence now, the professor threw a hint.

“Everything in the universe is made up of atoms and thus contains energy. However, plants and animals are considered special because they have ‘life’ which the other things of the universe don’t have. Man is considered even more special because he exhibits God present in yet another level. What is that?”

There were no answers and GV sir answered,

“God is present in man as the conscience. No doubt God is present in us as the life force or praana but that alone too would not help to develop awareness; if that was the case, then donkeys and camels would have turned spiritual long ago. Humans alone have that ability because God is present in humans at a third and higher level, as the conscience or the divine voice in our spiritual heart. However, though each human is gifted with the conscience, it is so subtle that one can often get disconnected from it. It is the birthplace of all goodness and nobility in man. Just ensure that you experience God’s omnipresence at all these three levels and you are good to go. That is true awareness - to recognise God’s omnipresence at all these three levels.”

Credit: Musings on Awareness

With that, we can move on to an experience at the passport office that gave me an insight or two about God’s presence in our lives.

Illusion or Maya - Is this true or is that true?

The Janaka story

There is a famous story of the wise king Janaka which is simply the perfect recipe to understand the illusory nature of the world. In the Sanathana Dharma (the Eternal Way of Life - which has been carelessly translated as ‘Hinduism’), there is a special term to denote this illusory and temporary nature of the world - Maya. The impact of Maya is tremendous; in fact it is the cause for everything that we see, hear and feel in the physical world. To understand what is Maya better, I would direct the reader to the introductory paragraph in the story of the squirrel helping Lord Rama and to that occasion when Maya made me negate my own Master (Guru), Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. The story of Janaka is yet another lovely illustration.

One fine day, as Emperor Janaka sat on the throne in his palace, enjoying a dance by a bevy of beautiful damsels, he dozed off! Seeing this, the courtiers and dancers wondered what they should do. Lacking the temerity to wake him up or disturb him, they all slowly slipped away to their respective rooms, leaving the king alone in the massive hall. In the meanwhile, the emperor had a dream.

He dreamt that rival kings had joined forces and invaded his dominion and captured his capital and that, to save himself from them he ran into a forest. Fleeing from his foes, he had no food for days together. He was too exhausted to move. But, hunger dragged him on. When he came to the outskirts of a tribal village, he saw a man washing his plate after taking food; he shouted to him asking for a few particles. The man gave him a small morsel, but, as bad luck would have it, a crow flew in at that moment and snatched it away! In that pathetic plight, he began to scream in agony. And suddenly, he woke up!

Even as he opened his eyes, he saw that he was surrounded by his queen, his maids and personal attendants. They were awaiting his slightest indication so that they could rush to serve him. He saw large trays and bowls of the choicest fruits. His cook too was in a corner, and he would surely whip up mouth-watering delicacies at the slightest wish of the emperor. But Janaka was in a daze. He looked at his queen and asked,

“Is this real or is that real?”

When God says No to your prayers - my experience with Sri Sathya Sai - Part 2

The contrast effect

Having refused to give me the vibhuti packet, Swami moved ahead during the darshan. when I say ‘moved ahead’ here, I am talking not about meters or feet but of a few inches. To the boy sitting immediately to my right, Swami offered a vibhuti packet. And in a sweet, childlike manner, turned around to see my reaction. Was this His test to see how I respond to the contrast between His strong refusal to me and His gracious benediction on the neighbour? I just had a smile on my face.

The vibhuti packets found their way into my neighbours' hands...

(I must confess here that my response was not because of my ‘nobility’. The prayer for vibhuti had been made at the spur of the moment when I saw the packets in His hand. It was not something that I had sought consciously and built an expectation for. So, I was able to simply smile it off.)

But Swami did not stop. He went ahead and gave the second packet to my second neighbour and once again, from the corner of His eye looked at me. Now, my eyes grew larger in amusement. Then, moving to the third neighbour, Swami gave away the third and final packet too. Before He could turn and check itself, I checked myself from laughing out loud.

What Swami did was so cute and childlike that I was beaming broadly in my face and laughing aloud in my heart.

{This is actually Part 2 of an interesting story. This part will make better sense and also more enjoyable reading if preceded by Part 1. Please read that at the link given below and return here!
When God says No to your prayers - my experience with Sri Sathya Sai - Part 1}

As I look back at this little incident, a very poignant message strikes me. It is not wrong to desire. Desires arise spontaneously and they flow through our being like water through a pipe. The secret is to allow the free flow and not ‘hold on’ to any desire via expectations. Expectations clog the flow and lead to a buildup of pressure - pressure that results in stress, frustration and anger. Allowing the flow without expectations results in smiles and laughter - even when God says ‘No’.

When God says No to your prayers - my experience with Sri Sathya Sai - Part 1

When God says 'Yes' or 'Wait'...

For most of us, a prayer often turns out to be a request for help. Of course, at times there are prayers of gratitude too, but more often than not, such prayers come immediately after the request-prayers! We pray for something, God grants it and, there you go, we offer a prayer of gratitude. These are instances when God says 'Yes' to our prayers and gives us what we want. There are some other instances when God says 'Wait' to our prayers. With firm faith that God's delays are not His denials, we wait with patience and perseverance. At the right moment when the prayer is fulfilled, we realize how perfect God's timing was and offer our gratitude. We seem to reflect God's own statement back to Him saying, "When it comes to offering gratitude, our delays too are not our denials." We rejoice when God says 'Wait' because though He may not give us what we want, He gives us something better.

But what if God says 'No'? I mean it is not a joy-filling 'Yes' or a hope-arising 'Wait' but a flat 'No' on the face? It is in this connection that I recall an episode which occurred on the 28th of July, 2010. This was the day when my God and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, gave a flat 'No' to a very 'reasonable' prayer that I made. What did that teach me? The message will be better understood when we go through the happenings of the day. But for those who are curious, I can drop a little hint. The answer lies in the Madhurashtakam composed by the great Vallabhacharya which describes every aspect of the Lord in the Krishna form as sweet and charming.  So, yes, even when God says 'No' it is sweet and charming!

A cataract to be operated

After my father's retirement in the May of 2010, my parents had shifted to Puttaparthi to settle down for life as per Swami's instructions. They were in bliss, enjoying darshan twice a day on a daily basis. I too felt so happy for them. This was that period in my life which I wished would go on forever. Within a few blissful weeks, my father began to complain about his inability to see clearly through his right eye. Having experienced a cataract operation for his left eye before, he was convinced that this was a cataract problem. I immediately sought an appointment with the ophthalmologist at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences.

The doctor examined my father's eye and confirmed that it was indeed a cataract and a hard one at that. He said,

"Of course this surgery can be performed here. But I would strongly recommend that it is performed by Dr.K. He is currently visiting our general hospital in Bangalore and I could forward this case to him if you agree."

Trusting the doctor's wisdom, I agreed.

My father, being a cardiac patient, needed a cardiac clearance certificate before he could undergo the operation. (The story of his 'heart attack' is another wonderful experience in itself. That is what happens with Swami - the worst of experiences too become memorable.) We obtained that certificate and the date chosen for the operation was the 2nd of August, 2010. This was when I felt that I must inform Swami and seek His blessings for the same.

So, on the 28th of July, a Wednesday, I borrowed a pen from my neighbour in the darshan lines and began writing a letter to Swami. I wrote in brief about the happenings so far and sought His blessings for the operation which was slated to be performed on the coming Monday. Having completed the letter, I waited for Swami to arrive.