God is always the first priority in life_ the life story of Bal Vikas student Raja

A story of devotion at first sight

Raja was born as Arun Patra in Koraput, Odisha to middle-class parents. He had several siblings who had graced the world before him and so, he felt that he was part of a joint family though technically it was a nuclear one. Mischief seemed to be deeply ingrained in his genes and the mother found it very hard to contain it. At her wit’s end, not knowing how to discipline her Raja, she enrolled him into a bi-weekly class which aimed to inculcate discipline, duty and devotion in children. She did not have the slightest idea about the origin and inspiration behind the ‘Bal Vikas’ classes but was happy that there was some creative outlet for the tremendous physical and mental energies that her child possessed. No doubt, her life changed after that. However, even in her wildest imagination she had not dreamed about the way it would change her Raja’s life.

Raja's life changed forever because of the Bal Vikas classes. It got him close to the goal of his life, his love and his Lord,
Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. 

The Bal Vikas classes struck a magical chord in young Raja’s heart. The ten-year old was fascinated by the stories that his Guru Matha (teacher-mother) at Bal Vikas told them. His heart seemed to be soothed by the Sanskrit chants that resonated in these classes while his mind was filled with deep questions about the meaning of life. These were questions that even his mother would have never imagined, let alone Raja; but then, his mother was not a student at Bal Vikas! More than anything, Raja developed a keen interest in the fuzzy-haired, oranged-clad ‘Baba’ who was his Guru Matha’s god. Though she always encouraged the children to pray to the God that they had been told to pray to at home, she was devoted to Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

“Mother, why does she worship a living person as God?” Raja asked one day.

His parents were devoted to another Guru and the mother felt that the time was ripe to pull little Raja also into line.

“God is the only one who always lives and never dies. We also worship our Guru as God...”

“Is there a difference between Gurus?”

“Er... I don’t know... but our Guru is a great one. You should meet him...”

“That is what Guru Matha says about Baba. In fact all the children are going to Puttaparthi in South India for a holiday with her to Baba... Can I also go?”

The mother was silent now.

“Please mother. All my friends are going. I also want to go.”

Thus it was in 1983 that Raja made his first trip to Prasanthi Nilayam in Puttaparthi. He had his first darshan of Bhagawan Baba. By the end of the trip, Baba had become Swami for him. He was delighted and was certain that he would be setting foot on Prasanthi soil many more times in his life. His parents back in Odisha, however, were dismayed. They felt that their Raja had strayed from the path.

God gives what we want so that we want what He has come to give

The parents were determined to pluck Raja out of the clutches of “some Baba” and they took him out of Bal Vikas. But they were unable to take the Bal Vikas out of him! Raja kept in touch with all his Bal Vikas mates and he found himself falling deeply in love with Swami. By the time he reached the age of 18 when he could legally decide for himself, he had enlisted himself as a youth member in the Seva Dal (Volunteer) brigade of the Sri Sathya Sai Seva Organisation.

With all sincerity and devoted hardwork, Raja became popular with many of the people administering the ashram. He spent a couple of years working directly under the Karma Yogi Colonel Jogarao. In 1994, he was one among a trio to get posted at Bhagawan’s new residence in the Poornachandra Auditorium. Though he was very happy at this opportunity, it was not meant to be! Sri Chiranjeevi Rao, another able administrator, asked him to be at his beck and call. Sri Chiranjeevi Rao was always at the beck and call of Swami and he wanted someone sincere and well-acquainted with people in the ashram to assist him. Sri Rao was known to be a very strict person and everybody feared working with him. But not Raja! He was ready to do anything for Swami. So, he gave up his posting at Bhagawan’s residence to assist Sri Chiranjeevi Rao.

Being God's driver - The life and story of Padmanabhan with Sri Sathya Sai_ Part 3

Padmanabhan driving a unique vehicle during
darshan. This epitomises his life with Swami.
Though he was His driver, it was always
Swami in the front seat and him in the
backseat. 

Wedded for life

Swami had brought up the topic of Padmanabhan’s wedding in June 1994. October had already arrived but Swami had not yet given a date for the wedding. The months of grappling with uncertainty had given way to a kind of resigned serenity in Padmanabhan. He had stopped fretting and was accepting Swami’s ‘vagaries’ as they came about. That is when he made an interesting discovery. When he was amenable to Swami’s ‘vagaries’, those very same vagaries seemed to fade away!

In fact, Swami had told him with complete confirmation to hold the wedding in Kerala. Now, as his mother and brother pestered him for a date, he told them that he would inform them as soon as Swami gave one to him. Just a few days before the wedding, Swami gave him a date - the 24th of October. Padmanabhan accepted it with humility and conveyed it home. A new debate cropped up,

“Wouldn’t it be better to have the wedding on 23rd October?”

“Swami said that it should be 24th October”, Padmanabhan replied.

“23rd is advantageous on two counts. It is an auspicious day based on the Panchangam. It is also a Sunday which makes it easier for all friends and relatives to attend the wedding...”

Padmanabhan, who was totally in sync with Swami’s words, replied,

“If it is inauspicious, I am the one affected right. I have no problem with it. And if people are unable to come, I still don’t bother. What matters is that we follow what Swami says.”

His was the final word and the wedding was fixed for 24th October. Padmanabhan informed Swami that he would be leaving for Kerala as per His command. Swami called him in and blessed him. He gave him enough money to cover most of the expenses of the wedding. He also blessed him with the jewellery and Mangalsutra which he would have to gift his wife. Padmanabhan was in tears. Swami had told him that he would take care of everything, of course. But here, He was taking care of him more than a parent; more than a close friend; more than what he would himself do for him! With gratitude oozing from the heart, Padmanabhan left for Kerala.

{This is the final concluding part of a 3-part story. To enjoy it to the maximum, it is recommended that you read this after the first two parts. 

PART 1: Being God's driver - The life and story of Padmanabhan with Sri Sathya Sai_ Part 1

PART 2: Being God's driver - The life and story of Padmanabhan with Sri Sathya Sai_ Part 2
}

A gentle rainfall in India is considered auspicious. What happened in Kerala on 23rd October was something drastic. Possibly it was an ‘over-auspicious’ day and the fury with which the rains lashed out was unbelievable. Everyone was thankful that the wedding had not been fixed for that day because it would have meant a severe ‘washing away’ of many well-laid plans. In

Being God's driver - The life and story of Padmanabhan with Sri Sathya Sai_ Part 2

Everything happens with a reason

It took about 4 hours for Padmanabhan to drive from Bangalore to Puttaparthi through the narrow winding roads which meandered through many villages along the way. Who would have thought that a tar road would be connecting Bangalore with a tiny hamlet in Andhra Pradesh?

“Today, the Asian Highway 43, the National Highway 7 and a State Highway form the series of roads connecting these two places. I never thought it would become like this then!” says Padmanabhan with a smile of amazement.

The client had a day’s work to accomplish in Puttaparthi and Padmanabhan spent the night in the car itself. The next morning, even as he was going for his ablutions, the client rushed to him,

“We need to get back to Whitefield as soon as possible. I wish to be there in time for darshan!”

In a hurry, Padmanabhan got the car started and began th journey back towards Whitefield. It was literally ‘godspeed’ for them because they were speeding to be in time to see God!

{This is the second part of Padmanabhan's story. In case you have arrived directly here, it is recommended that you read the first part first! That is at the link below:

Being God's driver - The life and story of Padmanabhan with Sri Sathya Sai_ Part 1 }

The car neared the Brindavan ashram and all the signs outside indicated that Bhagawan Baba had come out to grant darshan.

“Yes! Stop right here”, said the client as he got off from the car and rushed in to have darshan. Padmanabhan too was desirous of having darshan but he had not bathed and washed for nearly 24 hours. He thought for a moment and decided that the ablutions could wait. He parked the car nearby and rushed under the welcoming shade of the Sai Ram shed. Even as he sat in the last line, possibly the tenth one, in the gents’ section, Swami had neared the gents’ side of the tree having completed the ladies’ side. He seemed to hurry towards where Padmanabhan was seated and began to look at him from a distance of more than 20 feet. Padmanabhan could feel a tingling sensation inside him. He just sat down when Swami raised His finger and told him,

“Go”.

Padmanabhan feels that his spiritual growth has been complete in Swami's presence, though not in the way he thought.
Every delay and even denial from Swami only got him closer to Swami and helped him evolve spiritually. 

23rd March 1992 is a day embedded in Padmanabhan’s memory for ever because it is possibly the only day he had gone for darshan without any of his ablutions in day-old clothes and Swami picked him straight for an interview! The joy was heightened because this gift was totally unexpected. Expectation is such a terrible thing - it makes you morose if not fulfilled and feels normal if fulfilled. On the other hand, living each moment with no expectation is divine - it never makes you morose but adds extra joy when you are gifted something! Padmanabhan walked towards the interview room with a spring in his step.

Being God's driver - The life and story of Padmanabhan with Sri Sathya Sai_ Part 1

It is no mean achievement to be the Sarathi to the Sanathana Sarathi!

Duty is God; Work is Worship

A man walking briskly with purposeful steps, dressed in a white shirt and a white pant, is not such a rare sight in Prasanthi Nilayam, Puttaparthi. Most of the men here are dressed in whites and all the people here have come here on a purpose! (Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, our dear Swami, emphasizes that unless it is willed by Him, one cannot come to Prasanthi Nilayam.)

Imagine you walk up to one such man dressed in whites and greet him,

“Hello”

And he replies with,

“Sairam, yes.?”

“Could you help me find the Sathya Sai Bhakta Nivas accommodation hall?”

“Sure! I am headed to work and the hall comes along the way. I can guide you there. Do you need help to carry your bags?”

“I am fine with the bags. Thank you for showing me to the hall.”

And you both walk along.

“Actually, there are two battery-operated vehicle service, named ‘Sai Sevak’, to transport devotees with luggage from the gate to the accommodation hall...”

“Oh I see,” you are surprised, “that is a nice development.

You reach your destination and the man begins to retrace his steps.

“Excuse me, can I know where you work?”

Pointing to a big shed nearby, he says,

“Over there - at the Tractor Shed.”

“Tractor shed? You...”

“I am a driver.”

The general response to such a revelation is not something out-of-the-world. I mean, the response will lack the ‘oohs’ and  ‘aahs’ that a revelation of him being an active scientist in the country’s missile program would evoke. It will also lack the admiration and possible envy that a revelation of him being the CEO of some firm would elicit. A driver is not someone you admire, envy or look up to in awe! But imagine that you ask him,

“Who are you? And what car do you drive?”

His answer will blow your mind away.

“I am Padmanabhan. I drove Swami’s cars for 18 years. I now maintain all of them!”

Now imagine your response! Most probably, your hands would fold in salutation and you would exclaim,

“Sai Ram!! The Lord’s driver!! OMG! How lucky I am to meet you...”

That exclamation is what happens when one does one’s work for God! It is the difference between spirituality as we understand it and actual spirituality which is doing one’s duty and daily work as a service to God. And the life of Sri.P.V.Padmanabhan has been one long saga of transforming work into worship. The story of how he came to Swami, how he became Swami’s chauffeur and how he learned what is truly meant by Spirituality, is indeed a nectarous one, another leaf in the gigantic banyan tree of the Sai Bhagawatham.

Introduction to Sri Sathya Sai

Padmanabhan obtained a Diploma in Automobile Engineering which, in combination with some support from his uncle, got him a job as vehicle mechanic in the Indian Air Force base at Assam (there were more than 300 jeeps and other vehicles to maintain). The teenager worked hard and in all sincerity, expanding his skill-set and knowledge base. His hard work paid off when, as a 20-year old, he got a contract job in Baghdad. For more than two years from 1981 to 1983, Padmanabhan maintained his clients’ cars as a well-paid auto mechanic. Reports of his good work reached the neighbouring Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and he won a contract there to manage and maintain several cars. Thus, the 3 years from 1983 to 1986 were spent in the strictly Islamic country.

“Hey! Just a minute. What was the need to mention ‘strictly Islamic country’? Please keep religion out of your narratives.”

Someone might be tempted to tell me thus.

Well, the reason I mention that term is because it was in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia that Padmanabhan came to know of Swami! Imagine that - getting to know of God in human form in a country where it is a sin (punishable by incarceration and possibly even death) to indulge in any kind of idolatry! It happened via his friend Venugopal with whom Padmanabhan spent many hours chatting as he was also a Malyali like him. (Padmanabhan hails from Kuttiyady in Calicut.)

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 3

Living in the present

“The past is history; the future is mystery. The present is a gift. That is why it is called ‘present’.”

This quote is oft used while guiding one on how to live life. However, when the history in question is His-Story, then matters become different. When the timeless One decides to encapsulate in a form within the boundaries of time, the concept of past and future dissolves because the lifetime of the Avatar is no ordinary ‘present’. It is the Omnipresent!

Buzzing away as a little fly in the longest-ever time travel so far, I began to feel weak. I had been in Puttaparthi of the the early 1940’s for almost 3 weeks now and I realized that my lifespan was nearing an end. A normal housefly lives for only about 30 days. It was the 23rd of May and I knew that I had just about a week longer before I would have to return. It was also my sister’s birthday! Oh my God! I would not be able to wish her... But then, I realized, she was probably in her previous life now.

I still had not got the answer to the question, “Who is He?” That was the question in the minds of everyone in Puttaparthi too, I realized.

{This is the final and concluding part of an exciting journey back into time. It is recommended that the reader goes ahead having completed the first two parts at:

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 1

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 2 }

Ever since the erudite lawyer, P.T.Krishnamachari, had left Puttaparthi, shocked and possibly wiser, the family seemed to be at its wits’ end. Swami seemed to have lost the violent streak. Thus, He had been freed from His solitary isolation. He had been brought back home and now, He was having alternating ‘bouts’ of trance and poetry recitation. I just wished that my Telugu comprehension was better so I could understand what He was saying. I resolved to return to this time-period for a second time after mastering Telugu!  

Photo Credit: The book Love is My Form. 

The climactic moment took place in an unexpected manner. It happened when Swami was ‘acting normal’ on the aforesaid 23rd of May. He had just walked out of the house. He stopped a passer-by and said,

“Don’t worry about your wife’s health. She will get better.”

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 2

A different Sathyam

A new day dawned in Puttaparthi and everyone of the Raju household hoped that it would mark a new chapter in their Sathyam’s life. Their hopes were certainly about to get fulfilled but not in a manner that they expected. I had barely opened my eyes and begun my buzzing when there was a bigger buzz outside. I flew out to see that some person had arrived from the neighbouring Bukkapatnam. I gathered from the conversation that he was Mantra Lakshmana, an occultist who had been summoned to try cure Sathyam in a more civilized and humane manner. This person looked like an angel in comparison to the huge Appayyaswamy. He also had a more cheerful demeanour.

I flew back to my Swami who was sitting in a corner of the house. His eyes were closed and He seemed to be in a trance. The occultist entered the house without the slightest idea of what was in store for him. Swami flew into a rage on seeing him and, picking up a vessel, hurled it at Lakshmana. The missile was not discharged to hit and so it missed him by more than a foot. However, it chipped off a small part of the dilapidated wall. I had never seen Swami like this.

“So you have come to treat me? How is it that you have not got anything with you then?” Swami thundered.

Happy that his treatment had not been completely opposed, Lakshmana quickly handed out a list of items to be procured to the family members.

A photo of Swami adorning the shrine of a devotee at Anatapur in 1944. 

Instantly, Swami began to rattle out a few Telugu words. My tiny fly-senses could not comprehend what He was saying but they were apparently items missing from the list that the occultist had given!

“What sort of a doctor are you? You do not know your own lists?”

The occultist slunk away silently and Swami went back to His corner. I wondered why He had treated the gentlemanly occultist with such fury when He had been so patient and sweet with the gruesome ogre who had tortured Him? There was no answer forthcoming and I decided to just accept this uncertainty of my Lord with faith.

{This is actually the second part of an ongoing time-travel. If you wish to enjoy it completely, please come here after reading the first part at:

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 1}

The next few days became even more difficult! Swami suddenly had become so much more violent which was very uncharacteristic of His nature. I found it very hard to believe that God could be like this! How was I to accept such intense uncertainty? Even as I pondered thus, Swami turned and looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot and my wings trembled in terror. Instantly, He seemed to melt and spoke to Himself,

“Love my uncertainty.”

He then got up and walked out of the house.

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 1

The reason behind visiting a painful past

The beautiful and handsome - Bala Sai. (Both adjectives are apt for, after all,
is He not the Shiva-Shakti?) 

I have always loved the concept of travelling back in time. The reason for that, I feel, is that we are able to look back at events that have happened with the wisdom that we have retrospectively gained in the present! What might have seemed like a great tragedy in the past has great lessons for us in the future. At the same time, what seemed like a great blessing in the past, could turn out to be a tragedy in the future. That is why, visiting the past with retrospective wisdom is indeed a wonderful thing.

Today, if someone were to ask me as to which point in time in the 20th century I would like to travel back to, I would choose that point in time during which the second world war happened. It might seem like a crazy thing. But, the second world war can be considered as a watershed of sorts in the history of mankind. The second World War in general, and the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in particular, made the world and realise the futility and grave danger that a world war posed to entire humanity. That is what led to the formation of the United Nations organisation and lead to a strong resolve among the leaders of all countries that they would never indulge in a war like that again. More then five decades after that world war, humanity seems to have forgotten the lessons of that war. Little pockets of violence and war have erupted all around the globe. That is why, do a painful, it would be a good idea to travel back in time to witness the Second World War. When the wisdom of the past pain is forgotten, one might have to revisit that pain in order to gain the lost wisdom. Witnessing that war again, the wisdom about the futility of war and the importance of peace is sure to dawn upon all of us.

Often the wisdom of peace is actually gifted by the horrors of a war

When it comes to the life of my Lord, my master, my best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba too, I make use of the same logic. If given the choice of turning the dials on the Time Machine to revisit his story, I would choose the same years as those of the second world war- the early 1940s. These were probably the most painful times of the avatar's life. A little reminder here-when I say painful, it is not necessarily painful for the avatar, but it is definitely painful for the devotee. However, it becomes necessary to revisit that painful period, because as devotees we seem to have forgotten the great lessons and insights that our Swami give us through that episode. With that warning I now turn the dials of my time machine as I transform myself into a little fly at Puttaparthi. I have chosen to be a fly in keeping with the fly-on-the-wall approach that I would wish to adopt in narrating the happenings that I witness in the past.The dial shows the March of 1943 and here I go.

Whirrrrr...... Swooooooooshhhhhh...... Blip...

Decision to meet a miracle-worker

Having witnessed the fascinating sequence of events at Uravakonda, (if you have come here directly, you should read that part here:

Time travel to the days of declaration of Avatarhood of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba)

I was eager to see how much longer will the world remain blind to the reality of my Lord. It was late in the evening and, at a distance, I saw a bullock cart trudging it's way back to the village. The occupants of the cart seemed very concerned and sad. I buzzed up to the cart and, in an instant, I knew the cause for their sorrow. Surrounded by the peering faces was the serene and absolutely still frame of little Sathyam, my dear Swami. Oh my god! Had He still not ‘recovered’?

Sri Sathya Sai is the Sanathana Sarathi but are we ready? A story in Surrender

“Sanathana Sarathi” - the origin of the term

100, Wilson Gardens, Bangalore is a very special address, because Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba has written more than two hundred letters to the owner of this home! This address on the 9th Cross Road was home to Sri Vithal Rao (the father of Prof.Jayalakshmi Gopinath who served as warden to the Anantapur Girls’ College for decades), one among the foremost and earliest devotees of Swami. Early in 1958, Swami had secretly started off from Puttaparthi to visit this dear devotee.

Though the whole visit was a top secret, there was a spy, a little girl, waiting outside, at a distance from this house. She had been given a few Rupees as a tip from Prof.N.Kasturi and had been  employed to espy on Vithal Rao’s house. She had been instructed to inform him as soon as Swami arrived because he lived only a couple of streets away from Sri Vithal Rao. The girl did well to earn her tip and within a few minutes of Swami’s arrival at Sri Vithal Rao’s residence, Prof.Kasturi strode up to the door with a smile plastered on his face.

Swami leafing through the pages of an issue of Sanathana Sarathi. Of course
this is decades after Bhagawan started the magazine in 1958.

“Wait! Wait!” exclaimed Sri Vithal Rao in shock and dismay as he opened the door. This was to be a secret visit of the Lord and he did not want to receive Swami’s wrath for a ‘leak’ that he had not initiated. However, Swami walked up to the door and seemed very happy to see Prof.Kasturi. Placing a hand lovingly on his shoulder, He said,

“There is work waiting for you at Puttaparthi. A monthly magazine will be starting soon. Guess how it will be named?”

“Swami... er... The Godward Path?”

“No...”

“Karma Dharma?”

“No...”

“Prema Yoga?”

“No... I have decided to call it Sanathana Sarathi.”

It was the 32nd year of Advent and in keeping with His promise that the first 16 years of the Avatar’s life would be dedicated to leelas (playful sport); the next 16 years to mahimas (glorifying acts); the next 16 years to Upadesh (message), Swami had decided to start a magazine to which He would be the chief contributor!

That was the first time ever in the history of mankind that the term had been used. Thus was born the Sanathana Sarathi.

The Chariot for the journey called life

The word ‘Sanathana’ means ‘Eternal’ while ‘Sarathi’ translates into ‘Charioteer’. In the first chapter of the Gita Vahini (and on many other occasions also), Swami has compared the human body to a chariot that has been gifted to the indwelling soul to complete the journey called life. But the chariot by itself cannot move. It needs to be yoked to a horse called the mind. That is why Swami says that only human beings are capable of realizing the Divine and achieving the purpose of life - because they have a mind which can move the body towards God. Animals do not enjoy the luxury of the ‘mind-horse’ and hence, they do not have the choice of spiritual evolution.

“Mana Eva Manushyanaam Karanam Bandha Mokshayoho” Swami thunders in many discourses. He says that the mind alone is responsible for both - bondage and liberation. And that is because the mind is no ordinary horse. It is a wild horse which can take the chariot in any direction. Thus it becomes very important that the reins controlling this horse be in the hands of an able charioteer who guides the chariot perfectly, the way Lord Krishna did for the warrior prince Arjuna. It also becomes important that this charioteer be there to handle the different chariots (bodies) that the soul would have to use to complete the journey. Thus, we need not just a Sarathi but the Sanathana Sarathi to ensure that we achieve the Ultimate in life.

We can emerge successful in this Karmakshetra (field of action) and Dharmakshetra (field of righteousness) if we surrender the reins of the chariot of our life into the hands of the Lord - just like Arjuna did. 

God's plans are the best for us - the story of Siddhartha's enlightenment_ Part 2

The journey back home

Who would not be devastated on getting to know that beautiful instances
like these would no longer be available? Poor Sid had to vacate the hostel
in a few days time.

In the three days since the results had been announced, Sid had gotten pale and sickly with serious acidity in the stomach. It was therefore not surprising that when his mother took him to the General Hospital on the following Monday, the doctor asked him,

“These look like classic symptoms of some deep-rooted tension. Are you tense about something?”

“I am with Swami here. Why would I be tense about anything?” Sid lied through his teeth. Prescribing medicines and bed rest in the hospital, the doctor put Sid on drips. The mother was in tears seeing her son in such a condition. She wondered what had happened to him as she fondly hugged him.

The time seemed ripe for the revelation. The warmth of the hug melted Sid’s tensions and fears. A deluge of revelations poured out from his heart and he told everything to his mother. The mother had tears in her eyes and did not know what to do. But Sid was now feeling so much better. A huge weight seemed to have lifted off his heart. That in itself made his sickness evaporate and within the next couple of hours, he was slated for discharge from the hospital. The mother wrote a letter to Swami and gave it to Sid telling him to offer it to the Lord.

( If you have arrived here directly, you have missed some crucial portions of this story. It is recommended that you read Part 1 at the link given below and then continue. Else, you may be caught unawares and unable to appreciate the whole import of this experience!

God's plans are the best for us - the story of Siddhartha's enlightenment_ Part 1 )

Sid returned to his home in Puttaparthi. He was no longer allowed to stay in the hostel. He grabbed a light lunch, took some rest and got ready for the evening darshan. This would possibly be his last opportunity for enjoying darshan as a student, at least for the time being. Sid sat in his favorite spot, in the bhajan hall where he had many memories of singing for his Swami. When Swami came in, He directly beckoned to Sid. Sid moved up to Swami, gave the letter to Him and said,

“Swami, Amma has given this letter. They (University authorities) have asked me to come back to join the course again only in November.”

It was evident that Sid did not want to state directly that he had failed.

Swami pored over the letter in His hand. He called Sid to His side and placed His finger on one statement that his mother had made,

“Swami, you know what is best for my child...”

“See what your mother has written,” Swami said.

“Yes Swami! That is true. You know what is best for me,” accepted Sid.

“Go now. Come back in November,”Swami said with a pat on his back.

“Swami, whenever I visit Puttaparthi in between, can I continue to sing bhajans for you (as part of the Prasanthi Bhajan Group)?”

“Definitely... definitely... Tell your mother, I will speak to her.”

Sid was in seventh heaven. Swami had promised his mother an interview. He could not believe the reversal of fortunes. The tickets were cancelled as Sid and his mother eagerly waited for the interview. But that interview never came. Four days passed and on each of those days Sid sat in the front lines, ‘showing’ his face to Swami. Swami smiled and acknowledged his presence, but that was about it. Nitin Acharya, who was ‘assisting’ Swami those days came and told him on the fifth day,

“Sir, I think you can sit back. There is no need to sit in the front lines any more.”

Sid understood that Swami’s word had not meant an interview in the next few days. It had meant something else which he would possibly understand as time passed by. As of now, it was over and he returned to Chennai with his mother.