Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 2

Look for Swami within

The first year of college life was wonderful for Balaramchandra (aka BRC) as he became a regular singer in the bhajan group. But, BRC also noticed that Swami did not seem to physically respond to him as regularly as He would to other students. All messages to him from Swami were delivered in a subtle manner and BRC had to be absolutely in tune with his inner Swami to get them. One place where many such messages were delivered was in Trayee Brindavan during the Trayee sessions. BRC had already received the message that he should develop an inner connect with Swami during an earlier Trayee session.

{This episode as well as many other incidents from BRC’s life have been detailed in the first part. In case you have not read it, please do read it before reading this second part. The first part is at the link below:

Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 1}

An year later, the time seemed ripe for yet another message. And again, it happened through another Trayee session or rather, the lack of it! Those were times when a Trayee session was considered a guaranteed event everyday at Brindavan. However, in BRC’s second year as an undergraduate, Swami did not call the students in for a Trayee session one day. The same thing repeated the next day. Now, all the students and teachers were worried. Why wasn’t Swami calling them for these most intimate and wonderful sessions.

“I have a bad cold”, Swami said. But all the teachers and students knew that it was something else also. A mere cold is not strong enough to keep Swami away from bestowing His warmth on His children!

Prayers and Sadhana intensified in the hostel. Academics and other activities took a back seat as the focus of everyone’s thoughts, words and deeds was on eliciting a positive response from Swami. The efforts were a success as Swami called for a Trayee session on the fourth day. When Swami arrived, He had a solemn look. He walked silently up to the jhoola (ornate swing) and sat on it. After a few moments, He asked,

“Swami came to Brindavan 3 days back. But He did not call you in. Do you know why?”

A few more moments of silence followed after which Swami Himself gave the answer,

“Swami is teaching you to look for Him within you...”

Whatever Swami said after that were a blur for BRC. That statement had hit his heart like an arrow would strike the bulls eye.  He knew that he would have to focus more on his internal Swami - his Antaranga Sai. Little wonder that the frequency of him singing that beautiful bhajan with the same lyrics kept  increasing.

This is a magical thing I have seen about whenever Sathya Sai speaks - each statement is meant for someone on whom it makes a profound impact and each statement has a different impact on different people! That gives us a clue as to how we can understand which part of Swami’s discourse we must follow and which is meant for the others! Further dilation on this present in the article entitled - Sathya Sai Speaks but who listens?

Tough situation or an opportunity to learn?

An year later, BRC graduated with a Bachelors degree in Commerce. He applied and enrolled for the MFM (Master of Financial Management) course at the Prasanthi Nilayam campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. No doubt he enjoyed a few interactions with Swami and got a few chances to go near Him. He also earned a nickname from Swami - ‘Parrot Voice’. His prayer was he should actually become Swami’s parrot, parroting all that He said and did! But then, like in Brindavan, a majority of his experiences with Swami were via the Antaranga pathway - the internal pathway. It was during his stint as a student in MFM that his understanding of the Antaranga Sai went up a few more notches.

Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 1

BRC with his beloved Swami in a rare picture. BRC does not have many
pictures with Swami and reading on will tell you why...

It was a teacher of self-defence who re-introduced a young Balaramchandra (pronounced as Baala Ramachandra) to the greatest protection of his life. As a 15-year old lad, Balaramchandra (aka BRC) joined his cousins to learn Karate from a tutor who visited his joint-family home. Though the tutor took classes for only 4 days, he taught BRC (and all his cousins) about a personality that went by the name of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. He also took them all to the Sathya Sai Samithi in Thrissur and that was where BRC re-discovered the ‘Swami’ he had been introduced to as a child.

Though BRC’s grandfather, uncle and parents were devotees of this Swami, BRC had never given any special attention to Him. His was a family that had dedicated itself from several generations to Lord Sri Rama. That was why all the male members in the family - his grandfather, father, uncles, brothers - including himself had ‘Rama’ as a part of their names. When BRC was told that Swami was an Avatar, an incarnation of God, his first reaction was awe.

“I could never see Rama. How rare and wonderful it is that I have come to know of a living God!”

His second reaction could possibly be attributed to his Karma of several births because, for BRC, it was instant faith and love for this fuzzy-haired, orange-robed, moon-faced Baba. Soon, he came to know that Swami had started education institutions and he could avail the opportunity to become His student. Though it was the middle of the academic year, he tried to apply for a high-school admission. All he received was a letter of regret from the school saying that he could not be admitted in the middle.

BRC then studied with all determination and came out with flying colours in the nationwide Board Exams. He applied for the Bachelors in Commerce degree in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning and got selected as a candidate for the course in the Brindavan campus of the University. It was the beginning of his life as a Sai Student and it was going to teach him some lessons for life!

Wrong assumptions

BRC joined the college in 1994 and the year turned out to be fortuitous for his batch. It was precisely at this time that the Sai Kulwant hall was being built at Prasanthi Nilayam, Puttaparthi, and so, Swami was at Brindavan for more than 6 months at a stretch. BRC was thrilled at this stroke of luck and he decided to utilize this opportunity to its fullest extent.

Like many of the students who join Swami’s educational institutions, BRC too had taken some things for granted. Foremost among these was the assumption that Swami talks with all the students everyday! A second thing he had assumed was that it would be all peace and comfort once he got admission because Swami was a mother, father, friend and master rolled into one. The third assumption he made was that he would start singing in front of Swami immediately. This confidence was based on the fact that BRC had a wonderful voice and was also a fine talent in music.

Very soon, BRC realised that he had been mistaken on all counts!

The blessings of pain - Amey's experience with Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

The need to ‘love God’

It was during a session at the 39th Annual State Conference of the Sri Sathya Sai Seva Organization in Odisha that a young man got up and asked a question,

“How can we love and worship God when we are ourselves in such pain and need? Isn’t it true that we can focus properly on spirituality only if our needs are met and pains assuaged?”

Even as this question was asked, I began to ponder about it. It is so natural that this question arises. In fact, Swami Vivekananda is quoted to have said,

“Don’t teach spirituality to a hungry man.”

Roti, Kapada and Makaan (food, clothing and shelter) are recognised as the basic needs without which, one cannot think of one’s mental and emotional needs also. That is what the famous Maslow’s hierarchy of needs also states powerfully - that human beings are motivated by a hierarchy of needs. It is only when the needs that constitute the lower levels are satisfied that a person thinks about fulfilling higher level needs. This theory is represented by a pyramid as shown below.

Maslow's hierarchical pyramid of needs.

Physiological needs are the physical requirements for human survival which include food, water, clothing and shelter. Safety and Security needs include personal security, financial security, health security and a safety net against accidents. Love and Belonging needs are covered in belonging to some societal group, a family; having friendships and intimacy.  Esteem needs present the typical human desire to be accepted and valued by others. It is only when all these four are met and achieved that a person contemplates self-actualization, which is defined as achieving one’s full potential. Different individuals perceive this fifth need differently and it can get expressed as professional excellence, being a perfect parent, artistic magnificence and so on.

With that in mind, we get back to the question,

““How can we love and worship God when we are ourselves in such pain and need? Isn’t it true that we can focus properly on spirituality only if our needs are met and pains assuaged?”

If we delve a little deeper, we realize that loving God, as a need, works in a way more mysterious and subtle that all the five needs mentioned by Maslow. And to make that clear, it would be apt to narrate a life-experience of Amey Deshpande. Amey is not a person needing introduction to a regular reader here. He is a dear Sai-brother of mine, who has been involved in several of my experiences with Swami (Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba) including the one in which Swami accepted me as His best friend. I have earlier penned down how he took a step towards Swami and was blessed with a beautiful assurance. I have also written about his most painful experience when he got thrown out of Swami’s school - a case of things having to go horribly wrong before being set aright. In the same vein, here is another educative experience of his.

An ‘ill-fated’ Sunday-morning bhajan session

After losing his seat in Swami’s school in 8th grade, Amey had tried hard to get back into the school in 11th grade. Since that had not happened, he had tried getting admitted into the BCom course at the University. That too had not happened. So, he enrolled in the Sheshadripuram College at Bengaluru (Bangalore then) and graduating in honours with a BCom degree, Amey got employed at Hewlett-Packard. He also became a Seva Dal volunteer at Brindavan, Whitefield. He has been blessed with a wonderful voice and it is not surprising that he soon became a lead bhajan-singer there. Every Thursday and Sunday, when the Bangalore Seva Dal got the opportunity to lead bhajans, Amey was in the forefront.