Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba has been extremely kind and loving in giving me the chance of being a student in His Institute (and hopefully for life too). I would like to share personal experiences with Swami and thoughts that He has inspired via many episodes through this blog.
I met a person in Singapore (let us call her Lakshmi because she doesn’t want her identity revealed) who had a very interesting experience with lucid dreaming. For those that are wondering, in a lucid dream, the dreamer is aware that he/she is dreaming! In many cases, the dreamer may be able to exert some degree of control over the dream characters, narrative, and environment. Thus, the dreamer is not just a participant of the dream but also, to an extent, the controller and decider of the destinies of everyone and everything in the dream. In short, the dreamer is almost the God of the dream!
A lucid dream can allow you to control and also shape your dreams because you 'know' that you are sleeping! (Artwork by Johnson Tsang)
I was very keen to know more about her experiences because I felt that lucid dreaming is such a spiritual phenomenon. Vedanta says that life itself is a dream - just that one isn’t aware of it. “What better analogy to find in ‘real life’ about awakening and awareness than lucid dreaming?” I thought.
There were many interesting insights that I got from her but the most striking one was about visiting Prasanthi Nilayam and seeing Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, who we lovingly call Swami.
Dream or a nightmare?
Lucid dreaming is something that one can train oneself to do and there are lots of resources on the internet on how to become a lucid dreamer. Lakshmi however, discovered that she had a natural ability to lucid-dream. (Statistics show that about 10-12% of the population has this ability naturally.) The discovery came late in life in an interesting manner.
Lakshmi would dream that she was lying on her bed with her head in the opposite direction of which she had actually slept. She would be paralyzed and stuck. And she would know that it was a dream!
“All that I have to do”, she would tell herself in her dream, “is wake up. Then this paralysis will be gone.”
A normal dreamer can only wonder at how such an experience feels. But for Lakshmi, it was very frustrating. Though she knew that the solution to her paralysis was waking up, she did not know how to wake up!
She discussed her strange plight with her family and close friends. She also received a very interesting solution.
“Lakshmi, you are getting frustrated because you don’t know how to ‘wake up’ though you are aware that you are in a dream. Don’t try to wake up. Just exploit your awareness...”
“What do you mean by that?” asked Lakshmi, a bit confused.
“Well, you know that it is a dream. Thus, you can easily convince yourself that you can walk in it. Spend time walking till you are able to wake up!”
Among the several magical memories that a Sai-student carries of life at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, a Divine visit to the hostel often ranks very high. When Swami visits the hostel, it feels like the Lord wanted to call all the students for an interview but did not have an interview room as big as His heart! And so, He decides to visit the students in the hostel - it is like a mass private interview on the largest scale! Such a visit brings many close interactions with Swami. He speaks to the students and the students express their feelings for Him through conversations, talks, short skits and songs. There are momentous materializations and rousing revelations. A taste of such a visit can be obtained by reading the happenings during one such visit that had taken place in 2003. Each visit is unique and the ‘uncertainty’ about how it will unravel only adds to the anticipation and excitement.
The memorable Divine visit to the hostel in March 2003
Thus, every student of the SSSIHL wishes to be part of at least one Divine visit to the hostel. The students in our batch were no exception! It is no wonder that we wanted such a repeat of history. But Swami always has His ways of refusing to make such a visit unless the boys plead hard enough. We prepared ourselves for such excuses of the Lord, and went to the mandir armed with a large invitation card. The card had many photos of Swami with the students during many previous hostel visits and the wording was this,
“Swami, our home is empty without you. Please bless it with your loving visit.”
Different gender, same scenes! Swami's visit to the girls' hostel in Anantapur brings thrill to everyone.
It was the 28th of February in 2005. The clock face in Sai Kulwant Hall proclaimed 4:15 pm when Swami came out on His darshan rounds. As He neared us, we got up on our knees with the card and showed it to Him. He looked at the card and said out aloud,
“EMPTY.”
“Swami, it is empty because You are not there. If You visit our hostel, it will cease to be empty. It will become full!”, we answered.
Swami nodded and told us to go back and sit in our places.
Do we miss what we seek because of how we wish to get it?
There is a popular story that goes as follows.
A town gets flooded and there is water everywhere. A pious man is trapped on the roof of a building and has nowhere to go. The rising flood waters are slowly encircling the building and he has nowhere to go. But he is not at all worried. His faith in God is firm and he simply starts praying. He says,
“Dear God. All my life I have worshipped you and have had steady faith in you. Please come to my rescue.”
Within a few minutes, the waters have risen a few more meters and it is only a matter of 15 more minutes before they swallow the building completely. Presently, a boat comes by and the boatman shouts out,
“Sir! I have place for one more on my boat. Would you care to join?”
“No! You carry on and save someone else. God will save me.”
The boat goes away.
Minutes before the building is completely submerged, a helicopter comes above and, over the megaphone, a shout is heard,
“Sir! Please hold on. We shall rescue you.”
“I DON’T WANT YOUR HELP. GOD WILL SAVE ME. YOU PLEASE CARRY ON”, the man screams back.
There is a reason why the greatest truths in life are communicated via stories. Stories are lapped up easily. They remain in one's subconscious even if one is unable to appreciate the lessons or insights they offer. And they come to mind at the perfect time, when one is in need of exactly those insights! So, when it comes to the question of how to make God grant us the wishes we seek, I am reminded of three stories. Actually, two of them are anecdotes and one is a story, all of them related to my Lord, Master and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.
1. Whatever you seek of God is lesser than what He wishes to confer
When I was in my fifth standard, I got so enamoured by Swami’s darshan that I decided something very different. I told my father, “For this birthday, I do not want any birthday party. Just like you do, I want to shoot pictures of Swami with a camera.”
My dad smiled. He had noticed my desire for photography even as he took Swami’s pictures in Whitefield. He had, in fact, already procured a camera! He gifted me the 35mm, fixed focus, Yashica camera and said, “Why wait till your birthday? You can take photos when we go next for darshan in Brindavan!” I was so thrilled and thus began my beautiful journey with the camera.
Fast forward about 7 years. I joined Swami’s school and realized that I would get an opportunity to get physically close to Swami like never before. I was thrilled at the prospects that held for my photography. But I only had a 35mm, fixed-focus camera. I wished that I had a better one and since my birthday fell right in the beginning of the academic year, I thought it was time to seek another gift from my father.
“Dad! Here is what I want for my birthday...” “My son. I have a plan...” “No!”, I cut him short, “please buy me a camera with a zoom so that I can take better pictures of Swami. Please!”
I got a new camera in a month. It had a small built-in zoom that ‘brought Swami closer’ to me. Still, it was not close enough. Once the film rolls were developed and the photos were out, my mother put a dampener on me, “None of your photos are as good as the photos your dad has taken!” I felt hurt and insulted. I retorted, “That is because I don’t have a camera like him!” Hot tears were almost making their way down my cheeks.
Are we really ready to do anything for God? Ready to be like this sheep that has climbed on to theKjeragbolten in Norway?
This is probably one of my favourite stories. It is so full of intrigue and suspense in the beginning; yet so simple and profound in its ending. I have heard it only once but I have narrated it a hundred times at least. And each time I narrate it, it fills me with new vigour, enthusiasm and direction. It is the a story about a messiah - a messiah who wanted to retire! The first time I narrated this story wasin Swami’s presence on the 29th of July, 2005. I keep narrating this story many times. And that is to keep reminding myself more than anybody else of what Swami wants from me. Without further ado, here is that story. A messiah who wanted to retire There was this messiah who lived in a village. He was a tremendous source of help and inspiration for the villagers who sought his wise counsel for almost every problem. He sought nothing himself and selflessly gave of himself to the people, whenever they needed him. Everything seemed to be going well when, out of the blue, the Messiah made a startling revelation.
“I am ready to announce my retirement now,” he said much to the shock of all the assembled villagers, “I have been preparing for this moment and ultimately, it has arrived.”
“No! You cannot do this. Please do not leave us...” “What will we do without you? Whom shall we turn to for succour and solace?” “How can a messiah retire? What do you mean!” “Why do you want to retire? Have we failed you or disappointed you in any way?” The messiah smiled within himself. As usual, men made their own audacious assumptions and theories. The assumptions may vary in nature and scope, but they all are tinged to varying degrees with selfishness. Everyone wanted him to stay for reasons that meant a lot to them - not him directly!
“Every person in every occupation enjoys a retirement. I am only seeking mine! Is that not fair enough?” asked the messiah with a smile.
That was an argument that none could refute. But still, how could they live without the services of their messiah? Looking at the whole situation objectively, the people realized that their domestic problems could be solved through discussions with each other. Financial advice could be sought from some money-lender who still had scruples left. Health matters could be taken up with a doctor. But what about matters relating to the spirit? Spirituality, though very ‘important’, is never ‘urgent’ and thus gets neglected till times such as these. Now that the messiah was about to retire, spirituality seemed to gain urgency too along with importance.
And so, they all pleaded with him, “How will we remain in touch with God if you retire?” “Please, if you must retire, then ensure that we will be in touch with God in some way at least.” “Tell us what we must do so that God is happy with us always...” “Yes! Tell us the one ‘most important’ thing that God wants us to do...”
“Yes! Yes! Tell us that ‘one thing’ which God wants from us”, everyone chorused.
Pleasure is an interval between pains (and vice versa)
The February of 2008 began in quite an eventful and wonderful fashion for Navaneeth. It seemed as though God had arranged a bumper bonanza for him. Everyday, Navaneeth would speak at length with his two ‘friends’ at the shed, trying to convince them to come into the bhajan hall for morning bhajans. He told them that seeing Swami during bhajans was an altogether different experience. However, inertia prevented his friends from rushing for bhajan hall seats after morning darshan.
On the 5th of February, Navaneeth had the blessed opportunity to take padanamaskar as Swami moved through the hall during bhajans. With great joy and enthusiasm, he described the joy that coursed through him to his shed-mates. (One of the friends was an outpatient at the SSSIHMS and the other was in Parthi for a fortnight of seva and sadhana.) The next day, the same story repeated and the day after that too, it happened again. Now, the two friends were spurred into giving up breakfast to go into the bhajan hall for the bhajans. Thus, Navaneeth again proved to be a true friend, guiding people ‘closer’ to God. Swami seemed to be rewarding him for that as for the fourth day in a row, Navaneeth enjoyed a padanamaskar. He was in seventh heaven (or any other higher heaven that exists).
Bhagawan Baba often stresses that pleasure is an interval between pains. When one enjoys a pleasure, one can be sure that some pain lies ahead and when one is in pain, one can be sure that brighter days lie ahead. No one is exempt from this - even the one who is seeking God. It appears as though the world is designed this way to help man develop equanimity and the thirst to seek a way out of this endless cycle. When the seeking is done intensely, like Siddartha did, one indeed finds a way out of this endless cycle, like the Buddha did.
{This is actually the second part of a very interesting story. In case you have come here directly, you are advised to read the first part and then continue. The 1st part is located at the link below:
As Navaneeth was discussing his ascent to the seventh heaven, one of his friends asked, pointing to his face,
“What is this boil?”
Navaneeth tenderly touched a boil on his face.
“There is one more here...”
“... and another here...”
“This is definitely chickenpox...”
He was taken to the General Hospital and the doctor there gave him the requisite medicines and a topical gel for regular application. Navaneeth called and told his mother about his affliction and she wanted him to return home immediately. Navaneeth shared his two fears with her:
There was the risk of him infecting others during his journey.
There was the risk of his father getting to know that he was no longer attending nursing college.
Navaneeth reassured his mother that he would be well taken care of because he was with Swami. The mother was not fully satisfied but she reminded herself to have faith.
The story of the three cotton seeds, Andi, Bambi and Candi.
Happy-go-lucky Andi
The spring breeze blew across the lush green trees. The flowers were at their blooming best and the trees had donned their finest leaves. Birds and bees seemed to be everywhere, filling the air with their chirps and buzzing. The sun shone resplendently, spreading its warmth and light, filtering them through the canopy of the foliage. Sweet scents pervaded the atmosphere which had been cleared and cleaned by the recent rains. It was in these happy circumstances that a little cotton seed floated about gaily in the breeze.
“Hum Ho, Hum Ho
Here I come and there I go,
Flying about is Andi’s need,
I am a happy cotton seed!”
As he sang the shrill notes, Andi danced along, unfurling his white fibers. The season had brought a ‘spring’ in his step and sunshine to his countenance. He was always light and also took himself lightly. Today, he sought a wonderful resting place - a spot where he could rest and grow into a magnificent cotton plant that his destiny beckoned him towards. He couldn’t help but whistle in joy because he was sure that such wonderful environs and such a beautiful day were hastening him towards his destiny. That was when he met Bambi. It was a rough and gruff voice.
“Dum Bo, Dum Bo
However I try, there is no place to go,
In Bambi’s thought, word and deed,
I am a hopeless cotton seed.”
The discordant notes and tones of Bambi’s song struck Andi hard. Today, of all days, was not one that deserved such a song! He twisted and turned around and almost came face to face with Bambi. Bambi hardly noticed him and went on, along his way. Andi saw that Bambi had marvellous fibers! They were long and strong and they flapped with such ethereal grace. Andi was spellbound at such handsomeness.
“This is what they call the perfect seed”, he thought, “having it all and lacking nothing.”
But why the discordant notes then?
“Excuse me sir”, he called out as he used the wind to propel himself towards Bambi. Bambi paused to look in the direction of the sound.
“You called me?”
“Yes sir...”
“Call me Bambi...”
“And I am Andi. What a pleasure to meet you...”
“Is it? I am not so sure I would have been pleased to meet myself. Anyway, what is it that I can do for you...”
“You could stop singing for starters”, chuckled Andi, “and then join me for a duet in a song that I shall choose. Your baritone voice will add greater joy to the song!”
“You seem to be a pretty frivolous seed Andi. I am at that point in my life where I have to make some important decisions and you are concerned about singing a song? I am sorry, I have to hurry on.”
The breeze brought the soulful notes of a sorrowful song to their ears.
“Glum Mo Glum Mo,
The world is really cruel so,
A cotton Candi seed I may be,
But in my choices I am never free.”
The sound was followed by a the most beautiful and graceful cotton seed that Andi and Bambi had ever seen in their floating lives. Candi’s hairs were so fine and long. They appeared delicate though in reality they were ultra strong. To top it all, they seemed to have different hues and shades of white. Even Bambi wondered as to what could cause so much sorrow to a seed that had been endowed with everything! It was Andi that broke Candi’s dirge.
“Hello Candi! May life be forever sweet for you.”
Candi was the most beautiful cotton seed that Andi or Bambi had ever seen...
“Who is that?” Candi turned to see Andi and Bambi.
“It’s Mr. Happy Cottonseed!”, said Bambi, “ floating about happily without any cares in the world. Andi is a perfect example of ignorance being bliss...”
That was quite a harsh introduction but Andi did not mind.
“If knowledge and wisdom make one feel as hopeless or morose as you both, I’ll take ignorance any day”, Andi smiled as he patted Candi on his back. He then turned to Bambi and asked,
“What is it that is making you feel so and speak so when the present moment is so full of opportunities, inspiration and bliss?”
Bambi’s story
“Now that you ask, I shall tell you something which I am sure you are not aware of. But please do not criticize me of demolishing your sense of peace and joy.”
“They is no joy and peace which can be demolished by the words of anyone! Joy and peace is the nature of my soul and anything you do cannot change that. So my dear Bambi, please proceed with what you have to tell us.”
That was all the invitation Bambi needed. Candi’s curiosity had made him also stop by the two other cotton seeds. That was all the audience that Bambi needed. He began his narrative:
“I too was a happy seed like you Andi, growing my fibers on my mother’s person, getting ready for life ahead. I nursed great ambitions. I wanted to grow into the best cotton plant ever - a plant which would produce cotton to drape the being of the most powerful in the world. The inspiration I derived from my desire made me a positively charged, enthusiastic seed. However, that was the joy of being ignorant. Seeing my unbridled enthusiasm, my mother, out of concern, made me aware of history - the history of my brother seeds, the other cotton seeds on her.
She told me that the ‘power goal’ I entertained was a genetic desire put within me. She had seen hundreds, nay thousands of seeds start off like me and end up disappointed. It is not as if they did not achieve what they desired. It is just that whatever they did, it was hopelessness in the end. There are examples galore and I shall stick to only one now. One brother-seed, as per his desire, worked his way into one of the world’s finest cotton mills. He became part of a grand suit that was made for the President of the Country! Soon, he walked the corridors of power. Even as he celebrated his elevation to his dreams, he was in for a shock. Bad health forced the President to resign. A few weeks after that, he died! My brother-seed is now a moth-eaten, neglected suit, buried deep in an abandoned wardrobe. Ah! who could have foreseen that? What did my brother do wrong? Life is just so uncertain and cruel. It crushes all hope with its uncertainties. Now you will appreciate the song I was singing...”
Andi now burst into a Sanskrit song (from the Bhaja Govindam),
“Maa Kuru Dhana Jana Youvana Garvam
Harathi Nimeshaath Kalaah Sarvam
Maayamayam Idam Akhilam Hithwa
Brahms Padam Twam Pravisha Viditwa.”
( Dont’ be proud as peacock of all the millions that you have,
And of all those who are with you day in and day out,
And of the strength of youth in you.
Time, the thief is doing its job of stealing them by and by,
All these that exist today will not remain tomorrow.)
M.S.Subbulakshmi's immortal rendering of the Bhaja Govindam.
Candi’s story
“You make fun of Bambi because you have no experience Andi. My mood and my song are easily explained by a similar story that I was told by my mother-plant. As I spent my teenage days on her, I wished to be the most colourful cloth ever. What is life about if not for the magic of colour? Just like Bambi, I too got to know that this desire was my genetic predisposition and my brother-seeds before me had the same intensity and propensity as me. Again, there are examples galore but I am sure just one is enough to demotivate you!
One of my brother-seeds with his long and dainty fibers was picked for the biggest cotton plant in the world - a plant that manufactured clothes of all imaginable colours. And imagine my brother’s joy when he was integrated into a cloth bearing a hundred colours. There was none brighter than him and his pride gave him added luster. Alas! He had no idea of what was about to happen to him. He was picked to be made into a shirt for a clown in the circus. His life too became like that of the clown - colourful and bright as far as others were concerned but monotonous and lonely as far as he was concerned! As a dirt-ridden piece of cloth, he now wishes to die as soon as possible and take birth as a new cotton seed. But even with that, he knows that he has no freedom of choice because there is no guarantee that even the next birth will give him what he actually desires.”
This time, Andi broke into another song,
“Punarapi Jananam Punarapi Maranam
Punarapi Janani Jathare Shayanam
Iha Samsare Bahu Dusthaare
Krupaya Paare Pahi Muraare.”
(Again and again one is born; And again and again one dies;
And again and again one sleeps in the mother’s womb,
Help me to cross this limitless sea of life,
Which is uncrossable, my Lord)
Andi’s story
“This Andi is a hopeless romantic”, muttered Bambi under his breath to Candi.
“Of course! Added to that he seems to be living in some utopian dream world.”
Andi only smiled.
“My dear Bambi and Candi. I totally understand the cause for your moods and outlook of life. You are right in all that you thought. However, there are some things that I should clear with you. And the first among those is the fact that my bliss is not born out of ignorance. It has taken birth from the wisdom that my mother ‘seed’ed in me.
I come from a middle ‘class’ family of cotton seeds. I and my brother-seeds do not have great genetic predispositions. All our ancestors have led average lives as forgettable pieces of cloths. However, mother never let that come into our dreams. She told us to aspire for the best and the best, she said, is God. She told each one of us to pray and pine to be a cloth for God. For me too, there are examples galore but let me just pick one to motivate you.
My brother-seed sought God and he achieved everything in life!”
“Did he become an apparel to an heir apparent of the ruler?” asked Bambi.
“No, he was made into a small piece of cloth, 2 feet by 2 feet in size.”
“Ah! That is disappointing. Did he atleast have a million colours on him?” It was Candi this time.
“My sweet Candi! You are rushing to conclusions. But no! He was just white all over.”
“How then can you say that he achieved everything in life. This is a case of very low expectations”, they both chorused.
Seeing the bewildered looks on their faces, Andi smiled. He put his short hairs enveloping them in an embrace and continued the story,
"My brother-seed was blessed by Baba in the darshan lines."
“You see, my brother seed became a handkerchief in the hands of another middle-class family man. But this man travelled one day to a place called Whitefield in Bangalore where God had descended on earth! My brother-seed rejoiced as this Lord, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, accepted the handkerchief and wiped His vibhuti-smeared hands to it. Since then, he has never been in any pocket for he occupies a special place in the altar. The man passed away in a few years but his children too revere the handkerchief and worship it in the altar. My brother-seed is happy since for he is right next to God. His life’s desire is fulfilled.
But it does not stop with that. Though he did not seek it, he sits in the seat of greatest power because even the most mighty among men bow before him. And his life is colourful too because, you see, white is an amalgam of all the colours in the world!”
You get everything and can see the Lord in your heart.)
Seek that, seeking which you never have to seek again
As Bambi and Candi listened with amazement and wonder, Andi continued,
“So you see my dear friends, it is wrong to have only a ‘lofty’ goal in life when we are meant to choose the ‘loftiest’ goal! Let us not be satisfied with anything else other than the highest. Let us seek that one thing, seeking which we will never have to seek again! And let us not get fooled into seeking things which are mere trinkets compared to the Lord. For, when we seek the Lord, everything else automatically comes along, unasked! Whatever our 'genetics' may be, this disposition to seek the ultimate is available to all that wish to avail it.
We should be careful to never let down our aims. Let us not go and seek coffee-powder from a Kalpavriskha! I am sure that the stories of hundreds of my brother-seeds are all so beautiful. And so, if I too have such a loftiest desire, I am sure to achieve what I seek. That is my destiny and even the universe will conspire to help me achieve that! Isn't that reason enough to sing along merrily.”
Hum Ho, Hum Ho
It was Bambi who began the song as Andi and Candi joined in.
“Hum Ho, Hum Ho
Here we come and there we go,
We have God to fulfill all our needs,
We are a bunch of happy cotton seeds!”
Even if you have to be a handkerchief, just ensure that you belong to the Lord!
And that is the story of the Andi, Bambi and Candi, the ABC of cotton seeds. It is a story that teaches us that if we ‘Always Be Careful’ to choose God and God alone, we will ‘Always Be Cheerful’ too!
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