Desirelessness is the only way to be one with God

A desire nearing fulfillment?

It was the June of 2010 and we had just moved into our new home at Puttaparthi. A fortnight before, I had left for Mumbai seeking Swami’s permission to get my parents to settle in Puttaparthi post my father’s retirement from work. The relocation and resettlement had happened quite quickly, considering the fact that my father retired on the 31st of May. That is a story in itself and I will resist the temptation of going into it right away. But I must mention that it had all begun on the return flight from Pune to Puttaparthi after the visit to Hadshi, when Swami had asked me (about my parents) in the aisle,

"When are they coming here?"

“Swami, after father's retirement in May, they will come and settle down here itself.”

Swami nodded saying, “Santosham”. I continued, “One more thing, Swami. Mother keeps crying out ‘Swami’, ‘Swami’, ... Please grant her namaskar once when she comes to Puttaparthi. Once You speak to her, she will be so happy.”

He nodded in agreement. But then He responded with a question of His own,

"She keeps telling ‘Swami’, ‘Swami’... What about you?"

I was dumbstruck. I mumbled and fumbled a bit and said,

"Swami, You know what I feel. You are most important for me."

{For those who are interested, the entire 5-day trip to Hadshi and Mumbai has been captured in a serial blog of 11 parts. The link to the first part is given below. Each part has the link to the subsequent parts.

Hadshi-Mumbai diaries -  Part 1 - The blessing materializes. }

My parents were now settled along with me at Parthi. My desire was that Swami should grant us a family interview. I felt that would be the ultimate fulfilment for me because, in my opinion, Swami had granted me every ‘chance’ except that of a family interview. Though I never asked Him directly for the same, I always made it a point to ‘remind’ Him that my parents had arrived and settled at Puttaparthi. Nearly nine months of ‘labour’ after the first time Swami enquired about my parents arriving to Parthi, I felt that the date for my ‘deliver’ance was due! It happened on the 16th day of June, 2010.

The Governor’s visit

It was the day when the Governor of the state of Andhra Pradesh, ESL Narsimhan, had visited Puttaparthi. Before the evening darshan session, he visited the Super Specialties hospital. I thought it would be of archival interest to take pictures of the Governor’s visit to the hospital. However, it was easier thought than done. The Governor’s security team did not allow me to go through with the plan and, after taking a few pictures, I was stuck outside the hospital. Nothing I said helped my cause.

“I am a mandir photographer...” I said.

“Show us the badge which says so?”

How was I to make the security personnel understand that Swami’s smile of approval was my badge and that there is nobody who is formally appointed as a ‘mandir photographer’? I just shook my head in disbelief and walked away.

The Governor with the Director of the SSSIHMS, Dr.Safaya, in the main dome of the hospital in June 2010.

“Well, I never am keen on running behind anyone other than Swami”, I told myself, “and I have no regrets about not being allowed to photograph the governor. The focus for me (and my camera) is actually Swami!”

Within the hour, I was back in my room in Prasanthi Nilayam. It was before the evening darshan that I received a request - could a picture be taken of the Governor seeking Swami’s blessings? I smiled to myself and went to the Sai Kulwant hall with the camera. The Lord is the fruit and the world, its shadow. Chasing the shadow never yields fruit, but getting hold of the fruit also brings along the gift of the shadow!

With great love comes great tests - lifetime experience of Sai Krishna_Part 1

The beginnings of a divine romance

The summer vacation had just been declared for all the students of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning in 2005. Unlike any other place on earth where such a declaration is met with great cheering, Prasanthi Nilayam seemed to be witnessing an atmosphere of mixed emotions. Well, that was the case at least for a few students like S.V.B.S.Sai Krishna.

On one hand, the summer vacation promised a lot - a relief from the rigorous rigmarole of reading writing and arithmetic, a break from books and a distraction from discipline - that anyone would look forward to enjoy once in a while. Thus, it was no surprise that more than three fourths of the hostel had been emptied of the students who resided there. On the other hand, the summer vacation meant a physical separation from Swami (as the devotees endearingly call Bhagawan Baba). This was unthinkable for some of the students and, again, it was no surprise that the remaining quarter of the hostel had ‘sacrificed’ their vacation to be with Swami. (The single-quotation mark on the word ‘sacrifice’ is because of the prevailing myth that one has to sacrifice something to get God!) Sai Krishna was one amongst that quarter in the hostel.

Two weeks into the vacation, news arrived which further divided the hostel into four more quarters. This was the announcement that Swami would be leaving for Kodaikanal on the 19th of April. It was a known fact that He would definitely pick some students to accompany Him for nearly a month’s stay at the hill station. Who would be on ‘The List’ which would dynamically vary every day? Sai Krishna, like all the other students who had stayed back for the vacation, wanted to be a part of that list. He knew that if he didn’t manage that, he would have to physically miss his Swami for at least a month. He did not want to ‘suffer’ that fate.

The 17th of April saw Sai Krishna achieve boundless joy as he was informed by a teacher that his name figured on the List! It was a dream come true for him and he immediately called his parents to inform them of his great good fortune. Thus, on the 19th of April, Sai Krishna also took to the skies along with his Swami, headed southwards towards the state of Tamil Nadu. 

The bhajan-singing duo with Swami in Kodaikanal. To Swami's left is Sai Krishna and to His right is Om Prasad. 

There is an advantage of being a bhajan-singer in Swami’s entourage. It is like being a part of a select group within a select group. Sai Krishna was a singer and he got many opportunities to sing bhajans and songs in Swami’s presence. That Kodai trip in 2005 turned out to be a turning point in Sai Krishna’s bhajan-singing ‘career’ and relationship with Swami. He realized that there was nothing about him that Swami does not know and yet He loved him without any bias. This could not be anything short of pure, selfless, divine love! Swami gave him so many opportunities to sing. In fact, teaming up with Om Prasad, Sai Krishna became part of what could then have been considered as “Swami’s favourite pair”. Among the many songs they sang, Swami seemed to have a particular liking for the ‘Ramakatha’, the story of Lord Rama in song form. There is the Telugu version of Ramakatha as sung by the twin sons of Rama, Lava and Kusa. Om Prasad and Sai Krishna seemed to have become the twin sons for Sai Rama!

May 7th saw the Kodai trip conclude but it was just the beginning of the divine love-shower that Sai Krishna was about the receive from the Avatar of the age.

In the spotlight...  

Love is possibly the least understood, most misunderstood and possibly most overused of all terms. It is often confused with infatuation, attachment, lust, and liking. Let us ask ourselves of things/people we love. Ten years later, when we ask the same question of ourselves, will the answers remain same? To understand that, let us look back at things and people we felt we were in love with ten years ago. Today, do those things or people hold the same grasp over our hearts? This is the reason for cases of broken hearts,  unrequited love and pain. When the difference between infatuation/attachment and love becomes clear, we understand better what we should seek in life. We also come to know that it can only be sought from the Divine. Why this sudden emphasis on what love is? Sai Krishna’s story will explain this as it unfolds. 

Having experienced Divine Love in Kodaikanal, Sai Krishna decided that he wanted nothing else as desperately as he wanted to bask in the sunshine of Swami’s Love and Grace. On His part, Swami also continued to shower Sai Krishna with many opportunities. The biggest among them came two months after the return from Kodaikanal. On the 11th of July 2005, Swami made a surprise visit to the Institute auditorium. All the students and teachers flocked to the auditorium to enjoy this unexpected bounty. Swami seemed to be searching for someone. When He saw Sai Krishna, He beckoned to him.

“Sing the Ramakatha”, He commanded.

It had been a ‘normal’ day of classes so far and Sai Krishna was not ready. He had been blessed with the opportunity to sing for Swami in the mandir just the previous day. So, he did not expect to be singing again so soon!  He also did not have the lyrics sheet of the Ramakatha with him. The Ramakatha is fairly complicated and consists of five different songs. Sai Krishna did not know the lyrics by heart so far.

“Swami, my book is in the hostel. Can I please go and fetch that?”

“Where is your brother?”

Swami was obviously asking about Om Prasad.

“Swami, he is not feeling well. So he is resting in the hostel.”

“Okay. Go, get the book and return soon.”