Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba has been extremely kind and loving in giving me the chance of being a student in His Institute (and hopefully for life too). I would like to share personal experiences with Swami and thoughts that He has inspired via many episodes through this blog.
Among the several magical memories that a Sai-student carries of life at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, a Divine visit to the hostel often ranks very high. When Swami visits the hostel, it feels like the Lord wanted to call all the students for an interview but did not have an interview room as big as His heart! And so, He decides to visit the students in the hostel - it is like a mass private interview on the largest scale! Such a visit brings many close interactions with Swami. He speaks to the students and the students express their feelings for Him through conversations, talks, short skits and songs. There are momentous materializations and rousing revelations. A taste of such a visit can be obtained by reading the happenings during one such visit that had taken place in 2003. Each visit is unique and the ‘uncertainty’ about how it will unravel only adds to the anticipation and excitement.
The memorable Divine visit to the hostel in March 2003
Thus, every student of the SSSIHL wishes to be part of at least one Divine visit to the hostel. The students in our batch were no exception! It is no wonder that we wanted such a repeat of history. But Swami always has His ways of refusing to make such a visit unless the boys plead hard enough. We prepared ourselves for such excuses of the Lord, and went to the mandir armed with a large invitation card. The card had many photos of Swami with the students during many previous hostel visits and the wording was this,
“Swami, our home is empty without you. Please bless it with your loving visit.”
Different gender, same scenes! Swami's visit to the girls' hostel in Anantapur brings thrill to everyone.
It was the 28th of February in 2005. The clock face in Sai Kulwant Hall proclaimed 4:15 pm when Swami came out on His darshan rounds. As He neared us, we got up on our knees with the card and showed it to Him. He looked at the card and said out aloud,
“EMPTY.”
“Swami, it is empty because You are not there. If You visit our hostel, it will cease to be empty. It will become full!”, we answered.
Swami nodded and told us to go back and sit in our places.
Do we miss what we seek because of how we wish to get it?
There is a popular story that goes as follows.
A town gets flooded and there is water everywhere. A pious man is trapped on the roof of a building and has nowhere to go. The rising flood waters are slowly encircling the building and he has nowhere to go. But he is not at all worried. His faith in God is firm and he simply starts praying. He says,
“Dear God. All my life I have worshipped you and have had steady faith in you. Please come to my rescue.”
Within a few minutes, the waters have risen a few more meters and it is only a matter of 15 more minutes before they swallow the building completely. Presently, a boat comes by and the boatman shouts out,
“Sir! I have place for one more on my boat. Would you care to join?”
“No! You carry on and save someone else. God will save me.”
The boat goes away.
Minutes before the building is completely submerged, a helicopter comes above and, over the megaphone, a shout is heard,
“Sir! Please hold on. We shall rescue you.”
“I DON’T WANT YOUR HELP. GOD WILL SAVE ME. YOU PLEASE CARRY ON”, the man screams back.
Govinda had a broad smile on his face as he filled the application form to enroll into the National Defence Academy. Joining the Indian army had been his only dream during the school days and he was just a step away from achieving it. The 12th grade National Board Exams had concluded and Govinda was very confident of repeating his 10th grade Board Exam performance where he had topped his school. But there was only one problem. His father, a temple priest by profession and his mother, a simple housewife, wanted him to study more and gain degrees in accordance to the traditions of the Brahmin caste they belonged to. It was obvious that they had not understood the Bharatiya tradition of caste based on aptitude and not birth. Govinda’s aptitude had always been for physical rigour, discipline and courage. Though he was born to Brahmin parents and carried the surname, Upadhyaya, the ancient Indian tradition would have placed him in the Kshatriya caste with a different surname perhaps!
He had somehow prevailed on his parents and was hurriedly filling the forms before they could change their minds. That is when his friendly neighbour, Gupta uncle walked into the house holding some other forms.
“Govind beta, take this. You should join this college. I have all the necessary forms here.”
Govinda saw the name of the college - Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning.
“Thanks uncle but no thanks! I am joining the army...”
“This is like the army and better than it also. You just apply. The entrance exams are in the first week of May in Prasanthi Nilayam.”
“Where is that?”
“Puttaparthi... Andhra Pradesh. That is Sathya Sai’s ashram.”
All these were new words for Govinda. He had not heard the term ‘Sai Baba’ in his life so far. He knew of some Babas near his hometown, Dehradun, and assumed that this Sai Baba also must be a wandering renunciate like them.
“But I have my NDA exams in the first week of May.”
“Just do as I am telling you. This will be the best decision of your life.” Gupta uncle was persistent.
“This is what you should do - study. Please do this instead of becoming a Kshatriya”, the parents pleaded.
Out of respect for the very loving Gupta uncle and to please his parents Govinda agreed to fill the forms. To his surprise, his favourite Mathematics teacher also egged him to apply in the Baba’s college in spite of having no information about him.
For the first time in his life, Govinda decided to step out of his home state of Uttar Pradesh and travel more than 2000 kilometres to the state of Andhra Pradesh. Before he left, Gupta uncle gave him a filled rucksack which contained several pairs of white dresses along with other essentials that he would need for a year! He also gave him Rs. 15,000 before bidding him all the best. His parents gave him an additional Rs. 5,000. Thus it was that in the first week of May of the millennium-changing year 2000, Govinda found himself in Puttaparthi, to write the entrance examinations for the BSc degree.
A ‘hot’ welcome
Puttaparthi was an immediate put-off for Govinda. It was simply too hot for him in sharp contrast to the cool Dehradun climate. Added to that, it was a ghost-town (as Swami was in Brindavan, Bangalore, in the month of May 2000). He was accommodated along with three others from the states of Himachal Pradesh and Bihar. These three would always have Sai Baba’s name on their lips and would keep studying for the exams. Govinda thought they were crazy. He had decided not to study one bit so that he would flunk the exams and go back home. Little did he know the power of the destiny-strings with which the Lord beckons to a devotee!
It was the June of 2010 and we had just moved into our new home at Puttaparthi. A fortnight before, I had left for Mumbai seeking Swami’s permission to get my parents to settle in Puttaparthi post my father’s retirement from work. The relocation and resettlement had happened quite quickly, considering the fact that my father retired on the 31st of May. That is a story in itself and I will resist the temptation of going into it right away. But I must mention that it had all begun on the return flight from Pune to Puttaparthi after the visit to Hadshi, when Swami had asked me (about my parents) in the aisle,
"When are they coming here?"
“Swami, after father's retirement in May, they will come and settle down here itself.”
Swami nodded saying, “Santosham”. I continued, “One more thing, Swami. Mother keeps crying out ‘Swami’, ‘Swami’, ... Please grant her namaskar once when she comes to Puttaparthi. Once You speak to her, she will be so happy.”
He nodded in agreement. But then He responded with a question of His own,
"She keeps telling ‘Swami’, ‘Swami’... What about you?"
I was dumbstruck. I mumbled and fumbled a bit and said,
"Swami, You know what I feel. You are most important for me."
{For those who are interested, the entire 5-day trip to Hadshi and Mumbai has been captured in a serial blog of 11 parts. The link to the first part is given below. Each part has the link to the subsequent parts.
My parents were now settled along with me at Parthi. My desire was that Swami should grant us a family interview. I felt that would be the ultimate fulfilment for me because, in my opinion, Swami had granted me every ‘chance’ except that of a family interview. Though I never asked Him directly for the same, I always made it a point to ‘remind’ Him that my parents had arrived and settled at Puttaparthi. Nearly nine months of ‘labour’ after the first time Swami enquired about my parents arriving to Parthi, I felt that the date for my ‘deliver’ance was due! It happened on the 16th day of June, 2010.
The Governor’s visit
It was the day when the Governor of the state of Andhra Pradesh, ESL Narsimhan, had visited Puttaparthi. Before the evening darshan session, he visited the Super Specialties hospital. I thought it would be of archival interest to take pictures of the Governor’s visit to the hospital. However, it was easier thought than done. The Governor’s security team did not allow me to go through with the plan and, after taking a few pictures, I was stuck outside the hospital. Nothing I said helped my cause.
“I am a mandir photographer...” I said.
“Show us the badge which says so?”
How was I to make the security personnel understand that Swami’s smile of approval was my badge and that there is nobody who is formally appointed as a ‘mandir photographer’? I just shook my head in disbelief and walked away.
The Governor with the Director of the SSSIHMS, Dr.Safaya, in the main dome of the hospital in June 2010.
“Well, I never am keen on running behind anyone other than Swami”, I told myself, “and I have no regrets about not being allowed to photograph the governor. The focus for me (and my camera) is actually Swami!”
Within the hour, I was back in my room in Prasanthi Nilayam. It was before the evening darshan that I received a request - could a picture be taken of the Governor seeking Swami’s blessings? I smiled to myself and went to the Sai Kulwant hall with the camera. The Lord is the fruit and the world, its shadow. Chasing the shadow never yields fruit, but getting hold of the fruit also brings along the gift of the shadow!
I vividly remember a discussion during the “Awareness” class of my MSc days at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. The teacher present was Prof.G.Venkataraman, a highly reputed and accomplished man of science in India. The professor had his unique style of conducting awareness classes. He would force us to think deeply to arrive at answers to profound question. He would stitch together deep spirituality with the practical problems the world faces. He always looked forward to questions because he believed that life is not about getting the correct answers but about asking the right questions. (In fact, I remembered his inspiring presence in the classroom with excitement when my Master, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba told me to join Radiosai as my place of work. GV as he is popularly called was the director under whom I had to report.)
The discussion in class that day was about the omnipresence of God. It started with a question from the professor.
“What is God?” he asked the whole class.
Among the plethora of answers that came was one which said,
“God is the omnipresent, omnipotent and omniscient one.”
“Okay”, challenged GV sir, “what do you mean by omnipresent? How is it that God is omnipresent?”
There were no satisfactory answers in the beginning but soon, one boy stood up and answered,
“Sir. God is energy. Energy is God. Since every atom is a storehouse of energy, God is everywhere.”
“Very good”, GV sir was happy, “that is something that everyone recognizes - energy in all matter. In fact, the great Albert Einstein even equated mass with energy with his famous equation. And since everything in the universe has some mass, everything has energy. But that is only one level of God’s omnipresence. He is present in a subtler plane as well. What is that?”
Again, a lot of discussion and thought resulted in the next answer,
“God is life. Life is God. Life is subtler than energy and that is probably why nobody has been able to define what exactly life is. But everyone recognizes life - and when it leaves.”
“Beautiful!” exclaimed the professor, “That is precisely why a son or daughter kneels before the body of the father crying - Father! Why did you leave me? - The body is still there and yet the child knows that the father is gone. Life is sacred. Life is God. Good. But then, there is the subtlest way in which God is present. Do you know that?”
Since there was a muted silence now, the professor threw a hint.
“Everything in the universe is made up of atoms and thus contains energy. However, plants and animals are considered special because they have ‘life’ which the other things of the universe don’t have. Man is considered even more special because he exhibits God present in yet another level. What is that?”
There were no answers and GV sir answered,
“God is present in man as the conscience. No doubt God is present in us as the life force or praana but that alone too would not help to develop awareness; if that was the case, then donkeys and camels would have turned spiritual long ago. Humans alone have that ability because God is present in humans at a third and higher level, as the conscience or the divine voice in our spiritual heart. However, though each human is gifted with the conscience, it is so subtle that one can often get disconnected from it. It is the birthplace of all goodness and nobility in man. Just ensure that you experience God’s omnipresence at all these three levels and you are good to go. That is true awareness - to recognise God’s omnipresence at all these three levels.”
The story of the three cotton seeds, Andi, Bambi and Candi.
Happy-go-lucky Andi
The spring breeze blew across the lush green trees. The flowers were at their blooming best and the trees had donned their finest leaves. Birds and bees seemed to be everywhere, filling the air with their chirps and buzzing. The sun shone resplendently, spreading its warmth and light, filtering them through the canopy of the foliage. Sweet scents pervaded the atmosphere which had been cleared and cleaned by the recent rains. It was in these happy circumstances that a little cotton seed floated about gaily in the breeze.
“Hum Ho, Hum Ho
Here I come and there I go,
Flying about is Andi’s need,
I am a happy cotton seed!”
As he sang the shrill notes, Andi danced along, unfurling his white fibers. The season had brought a ‘spring’ in his step and sunshine to his countenance. He was always light and also took himself lightly. Today, he sought a wonderful resting place - a spot where he could rest and grow into a magnificent cotton plant that his destiny beckoned him towards. He couldn’t help but whistle in joy because he was sure that such wonderful environs and such a beautiful day were hastening him towards his destiny. That was when he met Bambi. It was a rough and gruff voice.
“Dum Bo, Dum Bo
However I try, there is no place to go,
In Bambi’s thought, word and deed,
I am a hopeless cotton seed.”
The discordant notes and tones of Bambi’s song struck Andi hard. Today, of all days, was not one that deserved such a song! He twisted and turned around and almost came face to face with Bambi. Bambi hardly noticed him and went on, along his way. Andi saw that Bambi had marvellous fibers! They were long and strong and they flapped with such ethereal grace. Andi was spellbound at such handsomeness.
“This is what they call the perfect seed”, he thought, “having it all and lacking nothing.”
But why the discordant notes then?
“Excuse me sir”, he called out as he used the wind to propel himself towards Bambi. Bambi paused to look in the direction of the sound.
“You called me?”
“Yes sir...”
“Call me Bambi...”
“And I am Andi. What a pleasure to meet you...”
“Is it? I am not so sure I would have been pleased to meet myself. Anyway, what is it that I can do for you...”
“You could stop singing for starters”, chuckled Andi, “and then join me for a duet in a song that I shall choose. Your baritone voice will add greater joy to the song!”
“You seem to be a pretty frivolous seed Andi. I am at that point in my life where I have to make some important decisions and you are concerned about singing a song? I am sorry, I have to hurry on.”
The breeze brought the soulful notes of a sorrowful song to their ears.
“Glum Mo Glum Mo,
The world is really cruel so,
A cotton Candi seed I may be,
But in my choices I am never free.”
The sound was followed by a the most beautiful and graceful cotton seed that Andi and Bambi had ever seen in their floating lives. Candi’s hairs were so fine and long. They appeared delicate though in reality they were ultra strong. To top it all, they seemed to have different hues and shades of white. Even Bambi wondered as to what could cause so much sorrow to a seed that had been endowed with everything! It was Andi that broke Candi’s dirge.
“Hello Candi! May life be forever sweet for you.”
Candi was the most beautiful cotton seed that Andi or Bambi had ever seen...
“Who is that?” Candi turned to see Andi and Bambi.
“It’s Mr. Happy Cottonseed!”, said Bambi, “ floating about happily without any cares in the world. Andi is a perfect example of ignorance being bliss...”
That was quite a harsh introduction but Andi did not mind.
“If knowledge and wisdom make one feel as hopeless or morose as you both, I’ll take ignorance any day”, Andi smiled as he patted Candi on his back. He then turned to Bambi and asked,
“What is it that is making you feel so and speak so when the present moment is so full of opportunities, inspiration and bliss?”
Bambi’s story
“Now that you ask, I shall tell you something which I am sure you are not aware of. But please do not criticize me of demolishing your sense of peace and joy.”
“They is no joy and peace which can be demolished by the words of anyone! Joy and peace is the nature of my soul and anything you do cannot change that. So my dear Bambi, please proceed with what you have to tell us.”
That was all the invitation Bambi needed. Candi’s curiosity had made him also stop by the two other cotton seeds. That was all the audience that Bambi needed. He began his narrative:
“I too was a happy seed like you Andi, growing my fibers on my mother’s person, getting ready for life ahead. I nursed great ambitions. I wanted to grow into the best cotton plant ever - a plant which would produce cotton to drape the being of the most powerful in the world. The inspiration I derived from my desire made me a positively charged, enthusiastic seed. However, that was the joy of being ignorant. Seeing my unbridled enthusiasm, my mother, out of concern, made me aware of history - the history of my brother seeds, the other cotton seeds on her.
She told me that the ‘power goal’ I entertained was a genetic desire put within me. She had seen hundreds, nay thousands of seeds start off like me and end up disappointed. It is not as if they did not achieve what they desired. It is just that whatever they did, it was hopelessness in the end. There are examples galore and I shall stick to only one now. One brother-seed, as per his desire, worked his way into one of the world’s finest cotton mills. He became part of a grand suit that was made for the President of the Country! Soon, he walked the corridors of power. Even as he celebrated his elevation to his dreams, he was in for a shock. Bad health forced the President to resign. A few weeks after that, he died! My brother-seed is now a moth-eaten, neglected suit, buried deep in an abandoned wardrobe. Ah! who could have foreseen that? What did my brother do wrong? Life is just so uncertain and cruel. It crushes all hope with its uncertainties. Now you will appreciate the song I was singing...”
Andi now burst into a Sanskrit song (from the Bhaja Govindam),
“Maa Kuru Dhana Jana Youvana Garvam
Harathi Nimeshaath Kalaah Sarvam
Maayamayam Idam Akhilam Hithwa
Brahms Padam Twam Pravisha Viditwa.”
( Dont’ be proud as peacock of all the millions that you have,
And of all those who are with you day in and day out,
And of the strength of youth in you.
Time, the thief is doing its job of stealing them by and by,
All these that exist today will not remain tomorrow.)
M.S.Subbulakshmi's immortal rendering of the Bhaja Govindam.
Candi’s story
“You make fun of Bambi because you have no experience Andi. My mood and my song are easily explained by a similar story that I was told by my mother-plant. As I spent my teenage days on her, I wished to be the most colourful cloth ever. What is life about if not for the magic of colour? Just like Bambi, I too got to know that this desire was my genetic predisposition and my brother-seeds before me had the same intensity and propensity as me. Again, there are examples galore but I am sure just one is enough to demotivate you!
One of my brother-seeds with his long and dainty fibers was picked for the biggest cotton plant in the world - a plant that manufactured clothes of all imaginable colours. And imagine my brother’s joy when he was integrated into a cloth bearing a hundred colours. There was none brighter than him and his pride gave him added luster. Alas! He had no idea of what was about to happen to him. He was picked to be made into a shirt for a clown in the circus. His life too became like that of the clown - colourful and bright as far as others were concerned but monotonous and lonely as far as he was concerned! As a dirt-ridden piece of cloth, he now wishes to die as soon as possible and take birth as a new cotton seed. But even with that, he knows that he has no freedom of choice because there is no guarantee that even the next birth will give him what he actually desires.”
This time, Andi broke into another song,
“Punarapi Jananam Punarapi Maranam
Punarapi Janani Jathare Shayanam
Iha Samsare Bahu Dusthaare
Krupaya Paare Pahi Muraare.”
(Again and again one is born; And again and again one dies;
And again and again one sleeps in the mother’s womb,
Help me to cross this limitless sea of life,
Which is uncrossable, my Lord)
Andi’s story
“This Andi is a hopeless romantic”, muttered Bambi under his breath to Candi.
“Of course! Added to that he seems to be living in some utopian dream world.”
Andi only smiled.
“My dear Bambi and Candi. I totally understand the cause for your moods and outlook of life. You are right in all that you thought. However, there are some things that I should clear with you. And the first among those is the fact that my bliss is not born out of ignorance. It has taken birth from the wisdom that my mother ‘seed’ed in me.
I come from a middle ‘class’ family of cotton seeds. I and my brother-seeds do not have great genetic predispositions. All our ancestors have led average lives as forgettable pieces of cloths. However, mother never let that come into our dreams. She told us to aspire for the best and the best, she said, is God. She told each one of us to pray and pine to be a cloth for God. For me too, there are examples galore but let me just pick one to motivate you.
My brother-seed sought God and he achieved everything in life!”
“Did he become an apparel to an heir apparent of the ruler?” asked Bambi.
“No, he was made into a small piece of cloth, 2 feet by 2 feet in size.”
“Ah! That is disappointing. Did he atleast have a million colours on him?” It was Candi this time.
“My sweet Candi! You are rushing to conclusions. But no! He was just white all over.”
“How then can you say that he achieved everything in life. This is a case of very low expectations”, they both chorused.
Seeing the bewildered looks on their faces, Andi smiled. He put his short hairs enveloping them in an embrace and continued the story,
"My brother-seed was blessed by Baba in the darshan lines."
“You see, my brother seed became a handkerchief in the hands of another middle-class family man. But this man travelled one day to a place called Whitefield in Bangalore where God had descended on earth! My brother-seed rejoiced as this Lord, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, accepted the handkerchief and wiped His vibhuti-smeared hands to it. Since then, he has never been in any pocket for he occupies a special place in the altar. The man passed away in a few years but his children too revere the handkerchief and worship it in the altar. My brother-seed is happy since for he is right next to God. His life’s desire is fulfilled.
But it does not stop with that. Though he did not seek it, he sits in the seat of greatest power because even the most mighty among men bow before him. And his life is colourful too because, you see, white is an amalgam of all the colours in the world!”
You get everything and can see the Lord in your heart.)
Seek that, seeking which you never have to seek again
As Bambi and Candi listened with amazement and wonder, Andi continued,
“So you see my dear friends, it is wrong to have only a ‘lofty’ goal in life when we are meant to choose the ‘loftiest’ goal! Let us not be satisfied with anything else other than the highest. Let us seek that one thing, seeking which we will never have to seek again! And let us not get fooled into seeking things which are mere trinkets compared to the Lord. For, when we seek the Lord, everything else automatically comes along, unasked! Whatever our 'genetics' may be, this disposition to seek the ultimate is available to all that wish to avail it.
We should be careful to never let down our aims. Let us not go and seek coffee-powder from a Kalpavriskha! I am sure that the stories of hundreds of my brother-seeds are all so beautiful. And so, if I too have such a loftiest desire, I am sure to achieve what I seek. That is my destiny and even the universe will conspire to help me achieve that! Isn't that reason enough to sing along merrily.”
Hum Ho, Hum Ho
It was Bambi who began the song as Andi and Candi joined in.
“Hum Ho, Hum Ho
Here we come and there we go,
We have God to fulfill all our needs,
We are a bunch of happy cotton seeds!”
Even if you have to be a handkerchief, just ensure that you belong to the Lord!
And that is the story of the Andi, Bambi and Candi, the ABC of cotton seeds. It is a story that teaches us that if we ‘Always Be Careful’ to choose God and God alone, we will ‘Always Be Cheerful’ too!
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