Dating and Marriage - insights from a divine drama staged by Sri Sathya Sai Baba

By the love and grace of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, many opportunities have come my way to address the youth from many countries. It is a great privilege to be able to share thoughts, ideas and ideals with this reservoir of great potential - the reservoir that will be sustaining the society and world in the future days to come. My observation has been that though the themes of the different conferences, meets, study circles and satsanghs may vary greatly, the questions and problems that the youth face fall broadly into just 3 themes. These are:

1. Relationships
2. Money and career
3. Practical Spirituality

Here, in this piece, the idea is to deal with ONLY the first theme - relationships (and that too dating and marriage).

When it comes to relationships (in the youth), the focus is invariably on friendships, dating and marriage. The other relations either are not given that much attention or they come into picture only because they too have a role to play in the “friendship, dating and marriage” theme.

"I shall direct My own drama to leave behind a message for posterity", that is what the Divine Thought seems to be
as He gazes into the future with a smile... 

Imagine my joy when, while flipping through the pages of my personal diary, I came across an unexpected episode that happened on the 2nd of March, 2010, in the direct physical presence of Swami, which provides many insights on this very sensitive theme of dating and marriage! I felt a thrill in my heart because I realized this was Swami’s way of helping me and, in turn, all those that have questions and doubts in this regard. So, with deep gratitude and prayers, I shall take this nostalgic ride down memory lane, to the day when Swami amazed the whole of Sai Kulwant hall with His seemingly childlike actions. Though it is very tempting to fast forward and rush to the Divine delight that drenched the devotees, it is only fair that everyone be allowed to participate in the day as it unfolded. And so, we begin from the beginning.

In the beginning, there was nothing...

That is how the history of the universe begins; that is how the Parthi Yatra (Parthi Pilgrimage) began for the devotees from the Indian states of Bihar and Jharkhand began. They had come prepared with multiple cultural programmes to be put up the Divine Presence on the occasion of the festival of Holi. Holi was on March 1st but to the great disappointment of the pilgrims, even as the clock showed 06:30 pm and the bhajans were on in full swing, there was no sign of Swami coming. It was a sort of anti-climax because on the previous 5 days, Swami had granted darshan in the mornings as well as evenings. The day ended without even a single darshan. Holi didn’t turn out to be so holy after all!

The Lord has His reasons and those are beyond the comprehension of us mortals. On the morning of the 2nd of March, Swami told the pilgrims that He would see their programme in the evening. The devotees from Bihar and Jharkhand began preparations in right earnest and with sincere prayers. Many cancelled their return tickets to stay an extra day in Prasanthi. Soon, the backdrop was in place and the children were ready in costumes. As was the practice, Veda chanting began at 4:30 pm and concluded at 5:00 pm. But well, as said earlier, in the beginning there was nothing! Nothing in terms of signs of Swami's arrival.

Then there was the Word! The word was with God; the word was God! It was at 6:30pm that there was word of Swami's arrival. And then He came!

God is always the first priority in life_ the life story of Bal Vikas student Raja

A story of devotion at first sight

Raja was born as Arun Patra in Koraput, Odisha to middle-class parents. He had several siblings who had graced the world before him and so, he felt that he was part of a joint family though technically it was a nuclear one. Mischief seemed to be deeply ingrained in his genes and the mother found it very hard to contain it. At her wit’s end, not knowing how to discipline her Raja, she enrolled him into a bi-weekly class which aimed to inculcate discipline, duty and devotion in children. She did not have the slightest idea about the origin and inspiration behind the ‘Bal Vikas’ classes but was happy that there was some creative outlet for the tremendous physical and mental energies that her child possessed. No doubt, her life changed after that. However, even in her wildest imagination she had not dreamed about the way it would change her Raja’s life.

Raja's life changed forever because of the Bal Vikas classes. It got him close to the goal of his life, his love and his Lord,
Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. 

The Bal Vikas classes struck a magical chord in young Raja’s heart. The ten-year old was fascinated by the stories that his Guru Matha (teacher-mother) at Bal Vikas told them. His heart seemed to be soothed by the Sanskrit chants that resonated in these classes while his mind was filled with deep questions about the meaning of life. These were questions that even his mother would have never imagined, let alone Raja; but then, his mother was not a student at Bal Vikas! More than anything, Raja developed a keen interest in the fuzzy-haired, oranged-clad ‘Baba’ who was his Guru Matha’s god. Though she always encouraged the children to pray to the God that they had been told to pray to at home, she was devoted to Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

“Mother, why does she worship a living person as God?” Raja asked one day.

His parents were devoted to another Guru and the mother felt that the time was ripe to pull little Raja also into line.

“God is the only one who always lives and never dies. We also worship our Guru as God...”

“Is there a difference between Gurus?”

“Er... I don’t know... but our Guru is a great one. You should meet him...”

“That is what Guru Matha says about Baba. In fact all the children are going to Puttaparthi in South India for a holiday with her to Baba... Can I also go?”

The mother was silent now.

“Please mother. All my friends are going. I also want to go.”

Thus it was in 1983 that Raja made his first trip to Prasanthi Nilayam in Puttaparthi. He had his first darshan of Bhagawan Baba. By the end of the trip, Baba had become Swami for him. He was delighted and was certain that he would be setting foot on Prasanthi soil many more times in his life. His parents back in Odisha, however, were dismayed. They felt that their Raja had strayed from the path.

God gives what we want so that we want what He has come to give

The parents were determined to pluck Raja out of the clutches of “some Baba” and they took him out of Bal Vikas. But they were unable to take the Bal Vikas out of him! Raja kept in touch with all his Bal Vikas mates and he found himself falling deeply in love with Swami. By the time he reached the age of 18 when he could legally decide for himself, he had enlisted himself as a youth member in the Seva Dal (Volunteer) brigade of the Sri Sathya Sai Seva Organisation.

With all sincerity and devoted hardwork, Raja became popular with many of the people administering the ashram. He spent a couple of years working directly under the Karma Yogi Colonel Jogarao. In 1994, he was one among a trio to get posted at Bhagawan’s new residence in the Poornachandra Auditorium. Though he was very happy at this opportunity, it was not meant to be! Sri Chiranjeevi Rao, another able administrator, asked him to be at his beck and call. Sri Chiranjeevi Rao was always at the beck and call of Swami and he wanted someone sincere and well-acquainted with people in the ashram to assist him. Sri Rao was known to be a very strict person and everybody feared working with him. But not Raja! He was ready to do anything for Swami. So, he gave up his posting at Bhagawan’s residence to assist Sri Chiranjeevi Rao.