An addiction called God - experiences of Navaneeth Kumar_ Part 2

Pleasure is an interval between pains (and vice versa)

The February of 2008 began in quite an eventful and wonderful fashion for Navaneeth. It seemed as though God had arranged a bumper bonanza for him. Everyday, Navaneeth would speak at length with his two ‘friends’ at the shed, trying to convince them to come into the bhajan hall for morning bhajans. He told them that seeing Swami during bhajans was an altogether different experience. However, inertia prevented his friends from rushing for bhajan hall seats after morning darshan.

On the 5th of February, Navaneeth had the blessed opportunity to take padanamaskar as Swami moved through the hall during bhajans. With great joy and enthusiasm, he described the joy that coursed through him to his shed-mates. (One of the friends was an outpatient at the SSSIHMS and the other was in Parthi for a fortnight of seva  and sadhana.) The next day, the same story repeated and the day after that too, it happened again. Now, the two friends were spurred into giving up breakfast to go into the bhajan hall for the bhajans. Thus, Navaneeth again proved to be a true friend, guiding people ‘closer’ to God. Swami seemed to be rewarding him for that as for the fourth day in a row, Navaneeth enjoyed a padanamaskar. He was in seventh heaven (or any other higher heaven that exists).

Bhagawan Baba often stresses that pleasure is an interval between pains. When one enjoys a pleasure, one can be sure that some pain lies ahead and when one is in pain, one can be sure that brighter days lie ahead. No one is exempt from this - even the one who is seeking God. It appears as though the world is designed this way to help man develop equanimity and the thirst to seek a way out of this endless cycle. When the seeking is done intensely, like Siddartha did, one indeed finds a way out of this endless cycle, like the Buddha did.

{This is actually the second part of a very interesting story. In case you have come here directly, you are advised to read the first part and then continue. The 1st part is located at the link below:

An addiction called God - experiences of Navaneeth Kumar_ Part 1 }

As Navaneeth was discussing his ascent to the seventh heaven, one of his friends asked, pointing to his face,

“What is this boil?”

Navaneeth tenderly touched a boil on his face.

“There is one more here...”

“... and another here...”

“This is definitely chickenpox...”

He was taken to the General Hospital and the doctor there gave him the requisite medicines and a topical gel for regular application. Navaneeth called and told his mother about his affliction and she wanted him to return home immediately. Navaneeth shared his two fears with her:

1. There was the risk of him infecting others during his journey.
2. There was the risk of his father getting to know that he was no longer attending nursing college.

Navaneeth reassured his mother that he would be well taken care of because he was with Swami. The mother was not fully satisfied but she reminded herself to have faith.

He who humbles himself will be exalted - the experience of T.V.Hariharan

Life with God is an endless hope

Mr. T.V.Hariharan playing his very 'special' violin.
After the life-defining episode, he plays it only in
the privacy of his home during Vijayadashami.

It was summer in the city of Bangalore in 1979 (when it had not yet turned to Bengaluru). While the heart of the city sweated and toiled along its daily grind, it was cool and calm at its outskirts. The Whitefield ashram of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba was enjoying a cool respite from the blazing sun via the Summer Showers at Brindavan. The Summer Showers programme was also called the Summer Course wherein Baba would interact with hundreds of students from around the world, enlightening them on the proper way to lead a life that is moral, ethical, spiritual and practical. (The Summer Course which started as an annual programme in 1972  was the precursor to the more formal ‘Summer Course in Indian Culture and Spirituality’ which was restricted only to the students of the SSSIHL from 1990 onwards.) Although hundreds of students got the opportunity to participate in the Summer Course, there were hundreds of others who wished that they could participate. In the latter category was a lad in his late teens, T.V.Hariharan.

Hariharan was serving as a volunteer in the canteen which catered to the needs of all the devotees who gathered at Brindavan to seek Baba’s blessings. As the Summer Course progressed, he noticed that his craving to become a ‘Sai Student’ was getting stronger and stronger. There was something special about being a student under Swami’s direct care and Hariharan wanted to experience that firsthand.  Driven desperate by the desire, he approached the staff at the office of the college at Brindavan, seeking admission. That was when he discovered the peculiar condition which prevented him from joining the college there.

Hariharan had completed Grade XII in a school in the state of Tamil Nadu. The Educational System in India then had not yet been standardised. And so, while the state of Tamil Nadu followed a ‘11+1 years’ pattern of schooling, the state of Karnataka followed a ‘10+2 years’ pattern. That was causing the trouble and it disqualified Hariharan from getting a seat in the Bangalore college.

“But don’t they add up to the same thing, 11+1 and 10+2?” questioned Hariharan rhetorically.

He learnt the truth via this apparently trivial mathematical question that the means towards an end are equally important as the end itself. So, it seemed as if he was was not destined to become a student in Swami’s college. He resigned to his fate and decided to enjoy the last day of the Summer Course. And then, it happened. Swami, at the end of the discourse, made a revelation, (the gist is given here)

“Today, I have some good news to share. We have decided to start a new college in Puttaparthi. Those desirous of joining there may apply for the same.”

Hariharan jumped in his seat. Just when things had seemed bleak and fate appeared all-powerful, Swami had given him hope. Life with God is definitely an endless hope while life without is a hopeless end!  

A young Hariharan with his Swami.

Facing the all-important interview

The application had been submitted and the interview-call telegram had arrived. ( In a few years, I am sure that I will have to explain to some readers what telegraphy and telegram is all about!)

Hariharan travelled to Puttaparthi with his father via Penukonda. Unlike the developed town of today, Puttaparthi then did not have any amenities. Though there is an entire road (the Vidyagiri Road) of educational institutions today, there was only the Easwaramma Primary School building then (which had been erected in 1975). Hariharan and his father joined the crowd of devotees that had gathered for darshan. Swami picked them for an interview.

Kumar wins the greatest gift of life from Sri Sathya Sai_ Part 1

Off for the darshan of the Lord

The 9th of December in 1986 dawned as usual in the holy hamlet of Puttaparthi, nestling amidst the hills in the Anantapur district of the then united state of Andhra Pradesh in India. The hostel for senior boys was bustling with hectic activity as all of them got ready for the classes of the day. Among the hundreds of such hurrying students was also Mr.V.Kumar, a student of the MBA (Masters of Business Administration) course at the Prasanthi Nilayam campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning.

Like any other place on earth, for most students in Parthi also, classes were not the most exciting prospect of the day. And that was because the most beautiful time of the day was in the evening when they would go for the darshan of their beloved Swami, Bhagawan Baba, in the mandir. So, Kumar too went through the rigmarole of all the classes, eagerly waiting for the sun to move from the east to the western skies. As the last bell of the day at the Institute went off, Kumar rushed to the hostel. He freshened up, tore away the ‘college whites’ that he was wearing to don the bright, creaseless whites that he had kept aside for the darshan.

A photograph of V.Kumar and his parents in the interview room. Swami has signed the photograph for Kumar. This was
just one among the dozens of interviews that he got. 

Within a matter of minutes, Kumar was at the popular Ganesh gate of the ashram. The Ganesh gate was akin to the pit stop in a Formula 1 race. The only difference was that while tires get changed in a pit stop, footwear get lodged in the region near the gate! But just like drivers compete with each other to occupy the pit for the least time possible, the students too try to get rid of the slippers as fast as they can to rush past the chequered flag (read mandir entrance) in order to occupy vantage positions for the darshan.

As Kumar cast away his slippers, he spied on a few that were carefully hiding their footwear. In a place like Prasanthi Nilayam where a few thousand gather daily for darshan, loss of footwear is a regular affair. Some students, in fact, ran a chain around the belts of their flip flops (the most common student-footwear) and locked it, placing the key in their wallets! Prasanthi Nilayam thus, is not only a place of soul-protection but sole-protection too. Kumar was amused at this. However, he too had his own strategy to protect the protectors of his soles. He would leave his slippers near his home, room A1 in East Prasanthi, right next to the mandir. The house was a gift from Swami to his parents in 1985 - a bountiful blessing for the pious souls.

Leaving the slippers outside the temple is so symbolic and pregnant with meaning. It seems to advise us that we should leave everything that has been contaminated by the external world outside before entering God’s place. It is time for the inner world now!

"Why fear when I am here" - the story of Anantappa and Sathya Sai

The relationship between God and the devotee is the relationship between God and God!

God and devotee

It was one of those famous ‘Trayee sessions’ at Brindavan, Whitefield (Bangalore). Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, ‘Swami’ as He is affectionately called, was seated on the ornate swing in the jhoola room and all around were the students who had decided to stay back in the ashram even during the summer vacations. This was a ‘sacrifice’ that they had gladly made for they knew for sure that they would receive much more than they had ‘given up’. Nothing is greater than being near and dear to the Master, their Swami, whom many even considered as their Lord. I too was among those students who considered Swami as his Master and Lord and so, for me, every word that fell from His lips and every action that He did was of great significance.

That day, Swami asked one of the senior teachers, Sri.Sanjay Sahni, to address the boys. As always, Sahni sir had a unique style of blending stories with messages. That day, he chose a very reassuring theme - that God will never sit quiet when a devotee is harmed or subjected to injustice. He narrated the experience of a devotee who was not ‘worldly-wise’ or ‘smart’. Thus, he was naturally exploited by many in different ways - especially emotionally and financially. During the narration, I was lost in my thoughts of Swami as I was sitting quite close to the swing. So, I am unable to remember the details of the experience he narrated. However, I cannot forget the ending statement that Sahni sir made,

“If you criticize the Lord or even harm Him, God will forgive you but just touch His devotee and you are finished!”

I remember that statement because there was a spontaneous applause and Swami looked at Sahni sir as if asking him to repeat the final statement. Sahni sir repeated the statement with greater volume and greater emphasis and that message got firmly reinforced in my heart.

In times of trouble

Many have been the instances in life when I know that people are being unfair to me or are trying the cheat/harm me. Sometimes, these ‘people’ have been those who are apparently very influential, powerful and wealthy. What I mean to say is that when they decide to put you into trouble, it looks like nobody can save you. You feel a great fear in the heart and think that maybe the best way out would be to compromise your stance and bend in front of them. At such times, it feels as though it does not matter what is ‘RIGHT’ or ‘WRONG’. Might automatically becomes right and since you are a weakling, you just have to shut up.

It is precisely in those times that I always recollect this episode at Trayee Brindavan. There is definitely a reason why Swami made Sahni sir repeat that statement. He wants it to be drilled deep within me that come what may, when I am right, the greatest power in the Universe is on my side. And that is the power of goodness or the power of God. So, all that I have to do is ensure that I am good and on the right path. The Lord may be loving and forgiving enough to suffer pain and ignominy. But He will not tolerate it if such pain and ignominy befalls the one who is dear to Him; the one who is on the path of goodness and love. Before I dilate further on a few other points, I must relate the powerful experience of Ananthappa’s daughter. This has been recorded by the legendary Prof.N.Kasturi in his autobiography, Loving God.

Anantappa’s problem

Anantappa was one among the sixteen peons at the college in Davanagere, Karnataka, where Kasturi was the College Head. He was slow in his thinking and considered by everyone as a dullard. He had difficulty carrying out the simplest of commands and any shopkeeper who was unscrupulous could cheat him with the greatest ease. He slept when he was supposed to be on guard-duty and did not seem to understand whether he was being scolded or praised.

And yet, Kasturi employed his services because he was a very pious soul. He seemed to have all his mind and heart dedicated to Swami. He spent hours of sincere efforts when it came to things related to Swami. Kasturi felt that Anantappa would surely lose his job if he was in the service of any other. Kasturi felt redeemed in his choice when Swami reciprocated Anantappa’s love. Swami showered him with grace divine and, on one occasion when Kasturi had taken him along to Puttaparthi, told Kasturi that Anantappa was not an ordinary soul. In his slum dwelling surrounded by drunkards, drug-addicts and vagabonds, Anantappa was like the saintly Vibhishana in Lanka, Swami had said. Numerous were the miracles that Swami performed to safeguard Anantappa and his family. That was the reason why the world could not take him for a ride even though he was a dullard - Swami would never allow that!

Anantappa’s younger daughter was wedded to an employee of the Mysore Railways(which has today been replaced by Southern Railways). This son-in-law, though a smart and intelligent man was of a highly suspicious nature. He always felt that his wife was flirtatious and even suspected that she kept the window of the house to ogle at men on the streets! In spite of all her explanations and pleas, he did not listen to her and often locked her within the home without even allowing a window to be opened. He even beat her at times based on his suspicions. Anantappa tried a lot to convince his son-in-law that his daughter was chaste and pure but it was all in vain.

Doubt is such a deadly demon and there is absolutely not cure for it! And before we start to criticize Anantappa’s son-in-law for his dastardly acts, we should examine our own selves to realize how often we fall prey to this demon called doubt. As Swami says, when things do not ‘seem’ to be going our way, we begin to doubt even God! We wonder at times whether God, in His ultimate knowledge, actually knows what is good for us? The demon of doubt can be defeated only by the angel of faith. But hey wait! Faith is so ‘unscientific’ right? Faith implies taking things at face-value without deep inquiry. Faith is only for those that are irrational!

Please allow me a much-needed detour before I get back on track to Anantappa’s son-in-law’s story.

Faith is about being rationally irrational instead of being irrationally rational

A simple case to point here. How do you know that you are your father’s child? Isn’t it because your mother told you that and you have faith in her words?

“Nah! I have a birth certificate issued by the doctor in the hospital that I was born. So, its not as if I am my father’s child because of faith.”
That means that you have faith in the doctor and the hospital where you were supposedly born. How are you sure that the doctor is not lying? Or that he is hand in glove in a nefarious scam with your ‘alleged’ mother/father?

“I see where you are going. But don’t think that proves me to be unscientific in my conviction about my parents. There is this thing called parental testing which is scientific. I can get that done.”
But hey! Wait a minute! You mean to say that you have faith in the instrument that does the test? How are you sure that there is no malfunction of the instrument? Worse still, how do you know that the method works? Isn’t that confidence based on faith that every hospital in the world is using the method and so it must be true? How can YOU be sure? Have you personally checked it?

If one goes on this way, one will realize that the only way one can be scientific is to have all the knowledge in the world - biological, engineering, medical, chemical etc. Then alone one will not need to take anything on faith. Else, somewhere along the line, one would have to have faith. There is no other choice. Now, here is the ‘faith way’ of parental testing. It works this way - Accept the person as your father/mother and the way he/she treats you in life will prove to you that the person has to be a parent to be so loving and sacrificing!

That is why, when science screams, “Seeing is believing”, Faith softly but firmly proclaims,
“Believing is seeing.” All said and done, faith is the only cure for doubt.

Swami cures the doubt of Anantappa’s son-in-law

Frustrated with her imprisoned life, the wife told her husband,

“Take me to Puttaparthi and ask Baba about me. He will vouch that I am a faithful wife to you. Else, I shall put an end to my life by jumping into the well there and you will be rid of me forever.”

Hearing the drastic words, the son-in-law agreed to accompany Anantappa and his family to Puttaparthi. With great love, Swami immediately granted them a personal audience. Without even being updated of the state of affairs, Swami told the doubting son-in-law,

“Your wife is as pure as Mother Sita (consort of Lord Rama). She is as noble and loving as Mother Parvati (consort of Lord Shiva). Take care of her.”

The son-in-law was struck by Baba’s omniscience and he nodded. Swami told Anantappa,

“Don’t worry. He is a good fellow. They will live happily from now on.”

But Swami’s words somehow seemed to be going wrong as the son-in-law was again caught by doubts. He wondered whether Anantappa and Baba had conspired to create this drama of ‘omniscience’. He charged his wife of infidelity and said he would take revenge. He got up and stormed out of the room, without bothering about Swami’s presence. Swami just smiled.

That night itself, the son-in-law said that they should leave Puttaparthi. At Penukonda railway station, the four got into the Bangalore-bound train. The son-in-law, by virtue of being an employee of the Railways, could get a first-class seating for his family. However, doubts and thoughts of revenge made him place his in-laws and wife in the wooden-seater, third-class compartment. He himself got into the empty first-class compartment. Now, he could plan the remaining part of his revenge in the solitude of luxury he thought.

The next morning, Anantappa was shocked to see a completely transformed son-in-law. He spoke humbly and sweetly and treated his wife with the greatest dignity and respect. In fact, he never locked her up ever again and almost worshipped her. Every month, he even submitted his entire salary to her to use for the house as per her discrimination and just sought a paltry sum of 15 Rupees as his pocket expenses! And Anantappa’s family indeed lived happily after that, just as Swami had said.

The consequences of ‘touching’ a devotee

What had actually transpired was something that Kasturi got to know later in a strange sequence of events. When he was waiting for a bus, his student came along in a horse-carriage and offered him a lift. Then, this sworn athiest of a student asked Kasturi about Puttaparthi and Baba. He was actually eager to meet him. When Kasturi asked him the reason for such sudden spiritual thirst, the student, a Railway Guard by profession, related the happenings of that fateful night when Anantappa’s son-in-law was transformed. He had been a personal witness to the events as they transpired.

Anantappa’s son-in-law was deeply lost in his plotting and planning in the late hours of the night in the first-class compartment. When the train was about 10 kilometers from the Thondebhavi railway station, all the lights in the compartment suddenly were ablaze and turned deep red. Suddenly, he saw Swami. But there was not one Swami. There were Swami’s everywhere and He seemed so angry. Blows began to rain on him from all sides and he was wondering how could Baba get on to a speeding train? How did He multiply Himself and how did He know what he was planning to do? But all those thoughts soon vanished as the pain from the blows hit him. Swami said,
“Won’t you believe me when I say she is innocent? Stop beating her! She is my child! In fact, all those who suffer are mine…”

Such was the impact and pain from the blows that the son-in-law rushed out of the compartment at Thondebhavi seeking solace and protection. His face and body were badly battered and he complained to the Railway Guard. Moments later, the compartment was completely empty and there was not a single red light therein. Anatappa’s son-in-law had experienced a transformation, albeit a forced one.

Months later, Kasturi was with Swami when He said that in His previous Avatar at Shirdi, He even beat people with sticks in apparent ‘bursts of anger’. Kasturi asked,

“Swami, in this Avatar, have you hit any one?”
“No. This Avatar is all love.”
“Still Swami, if not directly, have you hit anyone indirectly?”
“That is also out of love”, replied Swami with a twinkle in the eye.
Kasturi also just smiled in understanding as his heart completed,
“Love showered on a poor, hapless daughter!”

Concluding thoughts

“Why fear when I am here”.

Swami’s statement takes on new meaning for me here. All that I have to do is ensure that I am on the path of goodness and purity. Swami’s protective bubble is around me always when I do that and I have nothing to worry. Great forces in the universe may conspire against me but they are no match to the greatest force in the Universe that is protecting me. That is why the ancient Indian scriptures emphatically stated,

“Dharmo Rakshati Rakshitaha. Dharma Eva Hatho Hanthi.”
(Righteousness/Goodness protects those that protect Righteousness/Goodness. Righteousness/Goodness destroys those that destroy Righteousness/Goodness.)

Now that gives us reason to be good and fearless. It gives us reason and need to realize the importance of being good. Right? And while I am being good and following righteousness, those that wish to malign, criticize or torment me, beware! I have a great good wonderful Lord watching over me! Hehehehehehehehehe!

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like:

1. An amazing experience with Sathya Sai and the Suka Nadi

2. Sathya Sai fulfills a promise He gave as Shirdi Sai

3. Being an apple of the eye for God

4. The Sri Sathya Sai Education revolution sweeping across Karnataka

For all readers:

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Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 1

The problem of being judgemental

It appears as if man is a judgemental creature by nature. Having been endowed with a mind that no other creature in the universe possesses, man seems to engage it constantly to analyse, form opinions and finally pass judgement on almost everyone and everything he comes in contact with. This whole process happens so spontaneously yet unconsciously that if one were to ask someone,

“Are you judgemental?”

the answer would most probably be a negative or a “maybe I am judgemental at times". Very few actually know and have the courage to accept that they are judgemental. All the others either just lie or lack the knowledge. (There you go, I have already proved that I am judgemental!)

It seems to be a very hard task to go about the day without judging someone or something. We have opinions and thoughts about everything in life (almost). If you don’t believe me, try out this simple experiment. Just go to anybody and ask him/her a question. Just ensure that, before you ask the question, you preface the question with the phrase - In your opinion. For instance, if you wish to ask about global warming, don’t ask

“What is global warming?”

The answer that you get might be brief or even non-existent when the person just says,

“I hear a lot about it and I think it is something bad.”

Instead, just change the question to,

“In your opinion, what is global warming?”

Ah! Now you get a lot of words. In fact, there are cases of a person having an opinion about a subject though he/she has no knowledge of the subject! And this can be extended towards people too. We have opinions and pass judgement about people though we have no knowledge about them, their situations and circumstances.

Okay! So we are judgemental. Is there a problem in that? Of course there is. Being judgemental is a sure-shot path to unrest and loss of peace. A lot of energy (physical, mental and spiritual) is wasted and unnecessary conflicts/debates/arguments arise. Recognizing this, the saint, Mother Teresa said,

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

My Master and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba presents the same in the light of God,

“Sarva Deva Namaskaram Keshavam Prati Gachchati

Sarva Deva Tiraskaram, Keshavam Prati Gachchati.”

(The salutations offered to any/all beings goes to God. The criticism offered to any/all beings goes to God.)

He also goes on to state that if at all you wish to criticize anyone, it would be best to indulge in constructive self-criticism which leads to growth and betterment.

It was via a remarkable sequence of events and an unfolding of a Divine drama that I learned the importance of not being judgemental. The happenings spanned over three days - the 25th, 26th and 27th of September, 2009 - and they give a profound insight on why and how one should not be judgemental.

Beginnings of a drama

Dusshera, the festival marking the victory of Lord Rama over the demon Ravana, is celebrated annually with great fervour in Prasanthi Nilayam. It is also called Navarathri. (Dusshera signifies 10 days while Navarathri stands for 9 nights). One of the highlights of the Dusshera festival was the Divine Discourse that Swami would deliver on each and every evening, at the end of the day’s proceedings of the Veda Purusha Saptaha Jnana Yajna (a fire sacrifice for world peace that is held for seven days). In 2009, the Yajna began on the 22nd of September. However, even after 3 days of the Yajna starting, Swami had not delivered a discourse! This was quite disappointing for me and, I am sure, for all the assembled thousands in Prasanthi Nilayam. Every evening session used to have 2-3 speakers who unusually spoke for 25-30 minutes (instead of the standard 10-15 minutes). As a result, by the time the speeches ended, it was quite late in the evening. Swami would then ask the students in the bhajan group to sing bhajans at the end of which He would receive Arati, bless everyone and leave the Kulwant Hall premises.

The speeches being delivered were so unusually long that on the third day of the Yajna, Swami asked the final speaker to conclude his talk as it was getting late. Swami lovingly told him that he would give him a chance to conclude on the next day! Sitting in the front lines of the hall and witnessing this assurance from Swami, I could not help get overwhelmed at His love and kindness. At the same time, I was thrilled by the next statement that Swami made. He said,

"Tomorrow, I will speak."

The time was 6:40pm and it appeared to be the only reason why an otherwise ‘eager’ Swami was not delivering His discourse.

On the fourth day of the Yajna, something interesting happened. It was the 25th of September and the master of ceremonies introduced 3 speakers for the evening. I was seated in the second line right in front of the dais. Even as the speakers were introduced, I felt disappointed within. I thought,

“Oh no! Not again! I hope that these speakers realize the truth that everyone here is waiting to hear Swami and not them. They better conclude in 10 minutes so that there is sufficient time for Swami’s discourse.”

The first speaker started off his speech offering his salutations to Swami. It was the same person whom Swami had promised a second innings in lieu of the abrupt conclusion of his speech on the previous evening. I realized that the original number of 2 speakers had been increased to 3 because of Swami’s promise the previous evening. However, the statement from Swami that He would also speak kept me in an anticipatory frame of mind. I was waiting for the speeches to conclude.

Judgemental nature kicks in

Once the first speaker crossed the 20-minute mark, I got a bit irritated. My judgemental mind kicked in automatically. Adding fuel  to this fire of irritation was the fact that the second speaker too proceeded beyond the 20-minute mark! I began to mentally rant,

“This is really unfair for Swami! He had clearly expressed His desire to speak yesterday and none of the speakers seem to care even the slightest for it. They just go on and on in their swollen egos. Why don’t they just stop speaking and allow Swami to deliver His discourse? They claim to love Swami but do not care for His wishes and desires!”

Thus, I mentally branded all the speakers as egotists who did not care for Swami in the least. At that point in time, I did not feel in the slightest that I was being judgemental and critical. I felt that anybody with the slightest feeling for Swami would empathise and agree totally along my line of thinking. Well, for that matter, will the reader who has come up to this point of the narrative also not tend to agree with me? If not, I am sure that what happened next will surely get you to empathise and agree with me. If even after reading the next paragraph I don’t win you over to subscribe to my line of thinking, I guess this article is definitely not needed for you in terms of the lesson it conveys. You can however, still read it to enjoy a nice story! :)

As the third speaker was speaking, Swami placed His head upon the palm of His right hand and began to look at me. Our eyes met and Swami kept looking at me. I was almost about to get up to ask Swami whether He wished to convey anything. He smiled and looked away. I relaxed my tensed calf muscles. even as that happened, He began to look at me once again. My focus on Him was so intense that I was deaf to whatever the speaker was saying. And then, He signalled to me!

With a gesture of helplessness, shaking His head and hands, Swami indicated to me that He never gets the chance to speak. I was so moved at “His plight”. Though the speaker was speaking, I slightly raised on my knees, folded my hands and gesture-communicated to Swami that He should speak. He again made a gesture of helplessness. My blood was boiling now. I felt that the whole world was so selfish when it came to Swami. By now, almost everyone in the front rows came to know of “Swami’s predicament”. This was evident in what happened after the speaker concluded the talk.

Swami told the students to sing a couple of bhajans after which He received Arati. As is the practice, the prayer for universal peace - Samastha Lokaha Sukhino Bhavanthu - was chanted thrice before the session ended. Swami sat silently, gazing at the audience. Many of the students in the front rows (me included), filled this silence with a plea,

“Swami, you should speak.”

There was no response from Swami and He continued to sit silent. Gathering courage, I got up and walked up to Him on the dais. Surprisingly, Swami did not protest or tell me to sit down. It was as if He was expecting me to go to Him on the stage.

I thought of expressing the feelings in my (and everyone's) heart as I went up the stage...

Folding my hands, I knelt before Him. I offered a prayer on behalf of everyone in the hall,

“Swami, please, speak to all of us Swami.”

Immediately, Swami flared up with irritation. He said,

“It is late already. So how can I speak?”

“Swami, at least tomorrow? There is no need of anybody else. Only you speak - that is enough.”

“How can I? I am presented with a big list of speakers beforehand.”

“Swami, for tomorrow, there is no need to entertain anyone’s list of speakers. You  just speak and that is enough.”

“Tell all this to your teachers (and not to me)!”

I nodded in complete agreement. I turned and pointed out the entire audience to Swami saying,

“Swami all are here only to hear you speak. There are here for you only and not for anyone else.”

At this point, another student, B.Prabhakar, took courage and came up the stage. He said,

“Swami, it is our desire that we hear the ceaseless flow of nectar from your divine lips.”

Swami smiled and patted him.He looked at both of us. He appeared to have ‘calmed down’ as He said,

“See, today my voice is not good. I shall speak tomorrow.”

Resolve

My mind rushed back to its thoughts and feelings a few minutes ago. I was thinking that it was high time to silence the ‘selfish’ speakers. I wondered who it was that ‘pressurised’ Swami to cede to speeches in spite of everyone’s wishes and His own wish that He speak!I wanted to spoil the ‘speakers’ party’ the next day. There was silence as we sat near Him. I wanted to tell Him that any session becomes complete and fulfilled only when He speaks. In Telugu, the word for fulfillment is Poornam. However, so many thoughts were going on in my head that when I spoke, instead of the words Poornam, I pronounced it as Poornahuthi (the final offering made to the Yajnam.)

“Swami, only if you speak then it becomes Poornahuthi.

Swami smiled and corrected me,

“Poornahuthi is several days later!”

So I asked Swami,

“Swami shall we make an announcement that you will speak tomorrow? That will make everyone rejoice!”

"No! I will speak only to the children!"

When I did not get Him the first time, He repeated it for me. I nodded, thinking that, out of His great Love, Swami was not wanting to embarrass those egotists by making their ‘selfishness’ public! It was indeed His great Love. What I did not realize was that rather than preventing embarrassment to the egotists, Swami said that to ensure that I would learn a very important lesson about not being judgemental. And that lesson would inspire me to see God in everyone at a practical level rather than just at a purely theoretical level - a lesson which would explain the significance of Shakespeare’s opening lines in a famous poem. 

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts.

B. Prabhakar too joined me on the stage after a while! :)

But all that would happen over the next two days. Right now, I was waiting for the session to complete so that I could go and speak to some of the teachers as Swami had indicated. I decided that I would even speak to the vice chancellor and other elders if need be. What did I have to fear or lose? Swami had given me the instruction and I would just be doing His bidding. Knowing that one is doing the Lord’s bidding  is enough to instill absolute fearlessness in the heart.

“Truth has no fear. Untruth and falsehood shivers at every shadow”, says Bhagawan.

In fact, fearlessness is one of the foremost traits of a devotee because it is only God who can confer such fearlessness. That is echoed in 27th name of the Sri Sathya Sai Ashtotram,

Aum Sri Sai Abhaya Pradaya Namaha. (Salutations to Sri Sai whose Grace rescues us from all fears and grants us security from all harm.)

With this resolve to take some of the most important people head-on in a matter which was so important to Swami and all the devotees, I returned to my place in the hall as Swami retired for the day.

to be concluded in the second part posted at the following link:

Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 2

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