Jnana and Dhyana also need Bhakti - Ram Mohan's life experience_Part 3

The magazine of God, for God, with God

It was almost instantly that Ram Mohan decided to make everything he did as an expression of his love to Swami. In 1984, he encouraged the students to produce a hostel magazine as an offering to Bhagawan on His Birthday on 23rd November. A number of hand-written articles, hand-drawn sketches and original poems landed up in his room in the weeks leading to the birthday. With the permission of the Controller of Examinations, Prof. Nanjundiah, Ram Mohan got multiple copies made from the University cyclostyle machine. Then, getting all the pages bound, Ram Mohan offered the magazine to Swami for His birthday.

Swami placed the bulky book on His lap and leafed through all its contents. He was visibly happy and He blessed the effort. From then on, there was no looking back for Ram Mohan. He ensured that a copy of the magazine which was released for every major festival - Guru Poornima, Krishna Janmashtami, Dusshera, Christmas etc. - made its way to Bhagawan. After that, a copy of the magazine was also delivered to each and every room in the hostel for the students to read. Swami would go through the magazine and send His feedback on different articles, poems, sketches and paintings. Even when Swami had suffered a fall and a fracture, He went through the magazine, sending feedback via the editor of the Sanathana Sarathi, Sri V.K.Narasimhan. Swami conveyed to Ram Mohan,

“Why has the boy drawn Garuda’s nose so long? Tell him to shorten it...”

Ram Mohan offering the initial version of the hostel magazine, Sai Chandana, to his Swami in the Mandir portico. 

Years later, in 1989, Swami Himself christened the magazine as ‘Chandana’. The next issue onwards, the magazine carried the name ‘Sai Chandana’ in bold letters on the front. Ram Mohan could not think of Chandana without the ‘Sai’ coming first! Thus, not only did Ram Mohan make the hostel magazine a vehicle for his devotion, he made it the carrier of all the students’ love too. In the later years, the magazine grew in size and significance and had multiple editors. Even then, when Swami referred to it, He always fondly remembered Ram Mohan. In fact, going through the 60th Birthday issue, Swami looked at Ram Mohan and told him,

“I know that you only have written all the articles in here.”

That thrilled the devoted heart.

{This is the concluding part of the 3-part story of Ram Mohan. To ensure you get the best of the story, read this part only after reading the first two parts at the links below:
1. How to get devotion and increase it? - Life experience of Ram Mohan Rao - Part 1
2. The easiest way to increase devotion to God - Life experience of Ram Mohan Rao - Part 2 }

Sai Chandana became a passion and obsession with Ram Mohan. He fervently worked for it with the feeling that this magazine of God should record the heartbeats of His students. The contributions were from students as young as 12 years of age right up till the research scholars in their mid twenties. Ram Mohan considered Sai Chandana as a legacy of the present to the future, a gift and treasure trove of Divine Love.

The lines of dedication from the first issue of the hostel magazine (that Swami named as Chandana) says it all.

When the revered Sri Gandikota Subrahmanya Sastry passed away, a list of names was taken to Swami to name his substitute on the board of reviewers of the Sri Sathya Sai Books and Publications Trust alongside Prof. Anil Kumar, Sri Ramana Rao and Sri Prahlad. It was possibly as a reward for his purity, patience and perseverance that Swami selected Ram Mohan as a member of the book-review board.

When God waits for the devotee

This attitude of doing everything as an offering to Swami began to pervade Ram Mohan’s ‘translator-abilities’ too. In the 1990s, Swami brought Prof. Anil Kumar from the Brindavan campus of the SSSIHL to its Prasanthi Nilayam campus. That was when Ram Mohan’s opportunities as a translator declined drastically as Prof. Anil Kumar took over that divine task. However, that did not sadden Ram Mohan or dampen his enthusiasm for Swami’s voice and words. He would sit in his spot behind the Ganesha idol in the Mandir portico, recording Bhagawan’s discourse on tape, in his diary and his heart. Then, he would transcribe the entire discourse in his beautiful Telugu handwriting after which, he would add his comments and appreciation of the different points made by Swami in the discourse. Having done that, he would make copies of his work and send the originals to Swami in a sealed envelope!

Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 2

Look for Swami within

The first year of college life was wonderful for Balaramchandra (aka BRC) as he became a regular singer in the bhajan group. But, BRC also noticed that Swami did not seem to physically respond to him as regularly as He would to other students. All messages to him from Swami were delivered in a subtle manner and BRC had to be absolutely in tune with his inner Swami to get them. One place where many such messages were delivered was in Trayee Brindavan during the Trayee sessions. BRC had already received the message that he should develop an inner connect with Swami during an earlier Trayee session.

{This episode as well as many other incidents from BRC’s life have been detailed in the first part. In case you have not read it, please do read it before reading this second part. The first part is at the link below:

Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 1}

An year later, the time seemed ripe for yet another message. And again, it happened through another Trayee session or rather, the lack of it! Those were times when a Trayee session was considered a guaranteed event everyday at Brindavan. However, in BRC’s second year as an undergraduate, Swami did not call the students in for a Trayee session one day. The same thing repeated the next day. Now, all the students and teachers were worried. Why wasn’t Swami calling them for these most intimate and wonderful sessions.

“I have a bad cold”, Swami said. But all the teachers and students knew that it was something else also. A mere cold is not strong enough to keep Swami away from bestowing His warmth on His children!

Prayers and Sadhana intensified in the hostel. Academics and other activities took a back seat as the focus of everyone’s thoughts, words and deeds was on eliciting a positive response from Swami. The efforts were a success as Swami called for a Trayee session on the fourth day. When Swami arrived, He had a solemn look. He walked silently up to the jhoola (ornate swing) and sat on it. After a few moments, He asked,

“Swami came to Brindavan 3 days back. But He did not call you in. Do you know why?”

A few more moments of silence followed after which Swami Himself gave the answer,

“Swami is teaching you to look for Him within you...”

Whatever Swami said after that were a blur for BRC. That statement had hit his heart like an arrow would strike the bulls eye.  He knew that he would have to focus more on his internal Swami - his Antaranga Sai. Little wonder that the frequency of him singing that beautiful bhajan with the same lyrics kept  increasing.

This is a magical thing I have seen about whenever Sathya Sai speaks - each statement is meant for someone on whom it makes a profound impact and each statement has a different impact on different people! That gives us a clue as to how we can understand which part of Swami’s discourse we must follow and which is meant for the others! Further dilation on this present in the article entitled - Sathya Sai Speaks but who listens?

Tough situation or an opportunity to learn?

An year later, BRC graduated with a Bachelors degree in Commerce. He applied and enrolled for the MFM (Master of Financial Management) course at the Prasanthi Nilayam campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. No doubt he enjoyed a few interactions with Swami and got a few chances to go near Him. He also earned a nickname from Swami - ‘Parrot Voice’. His prayer was he should actually become Swami’s parrot, parroting all that He said and did! But then, like in Brindavan, a majority of his experiences with Swami were via the Antaranga pathway - the internal pathway. It was during his stint as a student in MFM that his understanding of the Antaranga Sai went up a few more notches.

When God says No to your prayers - my experience with Sri Sathya Sai - Part 2

The contrast effect

Having refused to give me the vibhuti packet, Swami moved ahead during the darshan. when I say ‘moved ahead’ here, I am talking not about meters or feet but of a few inches. To the boy sitting immediately to my right, Swami offered a vibhuti packet. And in a sweet, childlike manner, turned around to see my reaction. Was this His test to see how I respond to the contrast between His strong refusal to me and His gracious benediction on the neighbour? I just had a smile on my face.

The vibhuti packets found their way into my neighbours' hands...

(I must confess here that my response was not because of my ‘nobility’. The prayer for vibhuti had been made at the spur of the moment when I saw the packets in His hand. It was not something that I had sought consciously and built an expectation for. So, I was able to simply smile it off.)

But Swami did not stop. He went ahead and gave the second packet to my second neighbour and once again, from the corner of His eye looked at me. Now, my eyes grew larger in amusement. Then, moving to the third neighbour, Swami gave away the third and final packet too. Before He could turn and check itself, I checked myself from laughing out loud.

What Swami did was so cute and childlike that I was beaming broadly in my face and laughing aloud in my heart.

{This is actually Part 2 of an interesting story. This part will make better sense and also more enjoyable reading if preceded by Part 1. Please read that at the link given below and return here!
When God says No to your prayers - my experience with Sri Sathya Sai - Part 1}

As I look back at this little incident, a very poignant message strikes me. It is not wrong to desire. Desires arise spontaneously and they flow through our being like water through a pipe. The secret is to allow the free flow and not ‘hold on’ to any desire via expectations. Expectations clog the flow and lead to a buildup of pressure - pressure that results in stress, frustration and anger. Allowing the flow without expectations results in smiles and laughter - even when God says ‘No’.

Playing the harmonium for Sai's bhajans - student S.V.Satheesh's experiences_ PART 2

When the Divine Mother opens doors...

It was with a heart full of fear of losing something very valuable that Satheesh landed in Brindavan after completing his M.Tech exams. In the meanwhile, Swami had initiated the exercise of preparation for the annual Convocation drama, guiding a few select teachers and students.

That year, Swami had insisted on having the Burrakatha as part of the drama. (Since then, Burrakatha has flourished as another art form among the students. In fact, for a few students, Burrakatha has been the experience of their lives!) So, apart from the main cast for the drama, three singers too had been chosen. These actors and singers would be called into Trayee Brindavan, Bhagawan’s residence in Brindavan, daily for practise sessions. Though the Burrakatha had three main singers, it required a host of others to act as the supporting-music team. And Satheesh was part of that team.

(If you have come straight to this article, it is highly recommended that you read the first part of this story before proceeding ahead. the first part is located at the below link:

Playing the harmonium for Sai's bhajans - S.V.Satheesh's experiences Part 1 )

“One evening, after the actors were called inside Trayee, we were waiting and praying outside. After sometime the singers were called in. I was waiting near the trees. As I was looking at Trayee, I remembered Swami's words to a Sri Atal Behari Vajpayee in Trayee,

"This is your home, your Mother's home; you can come here anytime.”

Tears filled my eyes as I realised that after a few months I may not even be able to step into these hallowed Trayee grounds once I pass out of Swami's college. Would these be my last few days? Would I never get a chance to enter my Divine Mother's home again? Within moments, I was fighting to hold back my tears.”

“Knock and it shall be opened unto you” is a popular biblical verse. It appears that it is best to ‘knock’ through tears of love and pining because even as Satheesh was battling his tears, the twin doors of Trayee Brindavan were throw open. The teacher who walked out beckoned to Satheesh and Sharath, a student of grade XII who played the tambourine, to enter. Swami, who till date, heard the Burrakatha songs with just the pocket-keyboard accompaniment of Sailesh sir (the music group in charge), had today asked for the harmonium and tambourine accompaniments! Ah what divine mercy! Satheesh rushed in along with Sharath. Both were right in realizing that it was just Swami’s grace that was getting them this opportunity. But they had not imagined the extent of that grace.

Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 2

My bold (ad)venture



( The above video and the entire description below will make wonderful sense only if you are coming here after reading the first part of this experience. If you have come here directly, it is strongly recommended that you read part 1 before proceeding. Part 1 is at the link below:

Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 1

The video above is the conversation described in Part 1, that took place on the 25th of September, 2009)

(Part 2 continues from here....)

The first thing that I did was to approach the person who was the master of ceremonies during Dusshera to find out who was giving him the names of the speakers. My question led me to the vice chancellor of the University. I accosted the revered Prof.Vishwanath Pandit as I was walking back to the studio. When I greeted him, in all humility and sincerity, he too folded his hands and greeted me. I was bowled over by the humility of the man who was one among the top economists in India who had taught previously at the Delhi School of Economics. In fact, the Government of India has roped him regularly into the team that advises it on the financial budget for the country and the venerable professor always has valuable points to offer it. Seeing him convinced me that the tree which is ripe with fruits always bends down in humility.

But today, the thought uppermost in my mind was about Swami speaking in the evening. Without prefacing my words with any polite statements, I came directly to the point.

“Sir, all of us want to hear Swami during the Prasanthi Vidwan Mahasabha, the Dusshera evenings.”

“Yes! That would be very nice if Swami speaks.”

“Why then do you take to Him names of speakers? Please do not do so. Tell Him that there is nobody to deliver a speech and He should speak.”

The professor kept looking at me, not saying a word. I, foolishly, got encouraged and continued,

“Is it not a crime to deprive Swami of a chance to speak when He Himself wants to do it?”

A small hint of irritation came on this noble professor’s face. Soon, it was gone and he told me calmly,

“It is best that you stay within your own limits. You do not understand many things...”

I still prodded,

“But sir, Swami wants to speak. What is the problem then?”

He just patted me on my shoulder and walked away shaking his head. I could not understand what that meant. But I was not someone to give up that easily. I decided to approach the other people on whom Swami had bestowed the honour and privilege of dining with Him every night. They would surely be witnesses to this “speaker-fixing” that took place in the evening. I went to Prof. G. Venkataraman (GV as he is affectionately called), the director of Radiosai Global Harmony.

It was while speaking to him that I got to know the reason behind the vice chancellor telling me that I did not understand many things. GV sir revealed to me that every day, without fail, the vice chancellor repeatedly requested Swami to deliver the Divine Discourse. However, Swami always asked for the names of prospective speakers. On one occasion the vice chancellor had boldly said,

“Swami, there are no more speakers.”

Swami had asked him whether he did not have the capacity to find one speaker from a whole University. Swami rued that His little expectations were also being dashed. Having no other option, to ensure that Swami did not “feel bad”, the vice chancellor was forced to mention at least one name to Swami. But, he made it a point to tell Swami that in reality, there was none to speak.

I spoke to several others too - the Registrar of the University, other prominent teachers among which was Prof.Anantaraman (the current Media Co-ordinator for the Sri Sathya Sai Central Trust). Satisfied with the multiple discussions, with a feeling that I had done what I had promised to Swami, I slept peacefully that night.

26/09/09

I had no idea that the fifth day of the Yajnam would be one of great revelation for me. In the evening, Swami completed His darshan rounds and came on the dais. Prof. Anil Kumar, the master of ceremonies, gave a summary of the day’s happenings. Then, when it came to introducing speakers, he kept absolutely silent. He told Swami that there were no speakers scheduled! I was thrilled with this.

“Anil Kumar sir knows exactly what has to be done when”, I thought.

The day’s lesson began to unfold at that moment...

Swami sat silently for a while. Then He beckoned to the then Secretary of the Central Trust, Sri. K.Chakravarthi. He told him to get ready with a speech. He also called for Prof. Anantaraman and told him also to speak. Before he went to the lectern, Swami gave him the instruction to speak for at least an hour!

Oh my God! Swami was the sole doer behind this whole drama!

In an instant, I realized my folly. I had got so judgemental, thinking that nobody loved Swami the way I did, that I had been blinded to the Truth. The Truth was (is and will be) that God does everything in the Universe. He is the director behind the drama of life. We are all merely actors doing our roles. Of course we have to do our roles. But, we should not entertain passions, emotions and judgement while we do so. For instance, the ‘villain’ and the ‘hero’ may appear to fight ‘on stage’ but off stage, they are friends right? They entertain no thoughts of hatred or anger. In fact, they do not entertain those feelings even ‘on stage’. They only appear to entertain those feelings because their role in the drama demands that. That is the secret behind being peaceful and seeing God in everyone.

As the magnitude of my ignorance and foolishness hit me, I just sat prayerfully throughout the one and a half hours that the two speakers took to conclude their talks. Gone was my irritation at the “ego” of the speakers. I was just lost in wonder at the perfection with which they were just performing their roles, following Swami’s words to the letter! They were as sincere in their love for Swami like me if not greater.

As the speaker concluded, Swami again started to say that there was none wanting Him to speak! This time, once again, I joined all the students in their vociferous appeal for Him to speak. But there was no irritation within me. Like a member of the audience watching a movie, I was simply enjoying the Divine Drama. It was my role to seek and plead to Swami to speak and I would do it as perfectly as the speakers who had followed His command to speak for the one and a half hours. I sat watching Swami as He said,

“Nobody even places the mikes before me.”

The crowd now joined in, shouting “Jai Bolo Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki Jai”, to express their desire to hear Swami speak. Swami looked at the audience and in “innocence” asked,

“What is happening?”

I got up and went to the dais.

It was deja vu for me but with a difference! This time, I had realized my folly and spoke to Swami, addressing
Him mentally as the Divine Director of the whole drama!

“Swami, everyone if requesting you to speak. That is what is happening.”

“But what can I do? There is no mike for me to speak...”

I had grown wiser by now. I smiled and told Swami,

“Swami, it is all in your hands. If you decide to speak, nobody can stop you from speaking. If you decide not to speak, nobody can make you speak.”

Mentally I told Him that He was the director of the drama.

After a few moments of silence, I bowed to Him and asked,

“Swami, do you want me to get the mikes?”

He told me to just return to my place. I took padanamaskar and did as I was told. I was happy that I could physically indicate to Swami that I had learnt my lesson. Swami received Aarthi and returned to the Residence.

Leading life without judging others

One profound thought arises in me as I think of this episode. Knowing the Truth that God is in charge, the director of everything that happens in life, is so assuring. It changes my mindset from one of irritation, frustration and anger into one of peace and joy. Can I not extend this lesson to every situation in my life? Instead of finding faults with people, with the situations or with myself, can I not calmly tell myself,

“Everything is going on perfectly as per Swami’s plan. I do not understand the ‘script’ but I have confidence in the ‘Director’. As an ‘actor’, let me do my role to perfection and not get worried or upset.”

In fact, that is the secret which Swami revealed in His dialogue on surrender.

The next day, the 27th of September, 2009, proved that once the message is learnt, the messenger ceases to exist.

Once again, Prof.Anil Kumar, introduced the day and then appealed to Swami for the discourse. Swami, on His part, beckoned to Prof. G.Venkataraman to speak. GV sir spoke for hardly 10 minutes and then, he too, requested Swami for the discourse. Swami, once again, said that He did not have mikes to speak at all! Since He was looking at me as He said so, I went up the stage. By that time however, GV sir had turned back and returned to Swami. Swami asked us, "On what should I speak?"

GV sir then broke into a 2 minute rhetoric on how Swami knew everything. He said,

"Swami there are so many new boys and it would be a gift of Grace if they could hear you."

He moved back to his place after that. I told Swami,

"Swami you know what we need. Please speak anything."

He seemed to nod. I asked for the mikes to be brought and Swami did not seem to protest. The mikes were placed in front of Him and it was a beautiful discourse, a profound one filled with many revelations about creation and Swami’s childhood days. The day ended so beautifully.

I cannot but help thinking on the deep message that the whole experience reveals. The only way to peace and joy is to surrender and not be judgemental. All life’s experiences take on a new light when I am not judgemental. Instead of being attached and emotionally involved, if I can just be a witness in full knowledge of the Truth that God is the director, life becomes smooth and ultra peaceful.

It will be my endeavour to constantly remember this experience and lesson.

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed month-wise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 225 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)

When one is made to move away from God to get closer to God...

From the frying pan into the fire

The last photo which Amey received before he was thrown out of school.

It was the conviction of Amey’s parents that whatever happens, one must not let go of the feet of the Lord.

“Even if the Lord kicks you, do not let go of His feet.”

That was their guiding motto and so, even though the rejection letter had reached them, they decided to do the only thing that they knew – rush to Puttaparthi for succor. It was the June of 1993 and due to certain happenings, the place reserved for the alumni of the Sathya Sai Educational Institutions was taken away and the seating privileges of the alumni were revoked. This was precisely the blow that Amey did not want at this time because he was desperate to gain some physical access to his dear Swami and tell Him about the misfortune that had struck him.

( This is actually part 2 of a riveting story. If you have come here directly, please visit the first part and then continue reading: Sometimes things go horribly wrong before going right. )

Within a day of Amey and his parents arriving at Puttaparthi, Swami left for Brindavan.  The trio followed him to the Bangalore Ashram but the same ‘seating rules’ prevailed there too and there was nothing much that Amey could do. He cried bitterly when his father inevitably informed him that it was time to head back home and enroll in a school before it gets too late. The prospects of having to face the many devotees back home who looked up to him and having to answer their queries terrified him even more. He only cried and cried more. A little respite came from the fact that his father too got a transfer from Bahrain to Abu Dhabi. At least, he would be spared of the uncomfortable questions.

Thus life went on, dragged on drearily in fact. Instead of being a special student at Swami’s school, Amey had become one among many in just another school. He now got very angry and that ire was directed on all the teachers who had ‘complained’ against him to Swami. How could he be said to have ‘unwanted connections’ and be a person of ‘too much talk’? And what was the meaning of him being ‘medically unfit’? Had not everyone seen how Swami had made him the apple of His eyes when he had to undergo the appendicitis operation? What could have been the malicious intent behind anybody wanting to chuck him out of what he considered as his whole life? These questions rankled him and along with the anger in his heart, tears brimmed in his eyes on a regular basis.

When, after two years, he applied for admission into XI grade, he again received a rejection letter. The parents were ‘advised’ not to bring their ward for admission in Puttaparthi. Suddenly, it dawned on Amey that because of the charges levelled against him, he might never ever get admission into Swami’s institutions again! That wrenched his heart and sank his spirits. He applied again for the degree in Bachelors of Commerce. Since he was a NRI (non-resident Indian), the ruled did not permit him to get admitted. So, it was disappointment again.

Some respite finally!

Amey joined the Seshadripuram college in Bangalore (Bengaluru now) and completed his degree in commerce. Following that, he took up a job in the same city. Alongside this professional progress also came the much-needed respite in terms of his relationship with Swami. Amey became part of the Brindavan Bhajan Group and, thus, every Thursday and Sunday when Swami was in Brindavan, he would get the coveted chance of sitting in the first row and singing for his Lord. Slowly but surely, Swami began to speak with him. Amey now began entertaining hopes of attaining his lost former glory in terms of endearing himself to his Lord. This endeavor of his seemed to get crowned with success during a visit to Puttaparthi.

In the darshan lines, Swami spotted him and called him by that endearing term,

“Appendicitis boy...”

Amey rushed and knelt before Swami.

“Where are you?” Swami asked.

“Swami, I have completed my schooling and Bachelors in Commerce.”

“Why did you leave the school? Why did you leave Swami? All the other students happily continued to study here...”

Amey had no answer. Once again, he felt his anger against those unknown perpetrators rising. But he chose not to tell anything to Swami. With a flick of His finger, Swami indicated to Amey to go to the interview room!

Two personal interviews followed in the next 3 days. And in an instant, Amey had become a celebrity again. Friends who often avoided him, now came back flocking to him. Even as his stock price shot beyond the ceiling, Amey did not get carried away. He knew that it was his newfound  stock price which had attracted the clamouring ‘investors’ - the same ones who had totally avoided him all these years.  He kept quiet and did not care one bit for the attention. However, he could not hold back when his former ‘best friend’ came to speak to him.

“Keep away from me. How is it that suddenly I have become dear to you? I am the same guy but your treatment has varied so much. You are simply an opportunistic and selfish person.”

His friend smiled and replied. And that reply was enough to pick Amey from the peak of his joy back to the same abysmal depths of depression, if not deeper.

Back to square one

Looking straight into Amey’s eyes, the friend replied,

“What could I do? The day you left the school, the class teacher revealed what had happened. When the list of new students had been taken to Swami for approval, he had specifically asked for the roll number of the ‘appendicitis boy.’ The teachers were sure that Swami wanted to confer some special blessing on you as they pointed out to your number. Swami simply struck your name off the rolls and said that you were no longer needed in the school! So, all of us naturally assumed that Swami did not want any of us to interact with you. Nobody knew why you were thrown out but this much is certain that Swami expelled you. We feared His ire if we spoke to you.”

Amey was now in another daze. He simply walked away from the friend and could not believe that it was his Swami who was behind all this. He felt deceived and let down completely. Thinking back about the past few days, he was in mixed feelings. While the sweet talk and interviews had convinced him that nothing had changed between him and his Lord, this revelation from his friend shocked him into thinking whether he had got things right. He left Puttaparthi and returned to Bangalore. He needed some time by himself to come to terms with the information he had received.

Acting in the MBA Day drama in 2004.

Being a positive person by nature, his thinking in solitude resulted in a pure thought with a steely determination,

“Come what may, I shall strive to become dear to the Lord. I don’t know what I did to make Him take this drastic step of kicking me out of school. But I shall strive for one more chance to redeem myself.”

Born from this resolve was the desire to join the MBA course in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. Even as he worked for Hewlett Packard, Amey constantly kept preparing for admission into the University. In the meanwhile, his prayers during the bhajans at Brindavan gained a new intensity. He kept praying,

“Swami, please give me one more chance and I shall prove myself worthy of your love.”

That pining was reflected in his singing and everybody agreed that this boy - Indraneel - was one of the best singers. (Yes, he had changed from Amey to Indraneel. To this day, he continues to be Indraneel for the people from Bangalore.) His thought, word and deeds were directed towards an MBA admission.

The achievement of the goal

His first two attempts at getting an MBA seat were failures. But that did not deter him and he kept trying, year after year. Exactly a decade after being sent out from the school, Amey, in 2003, achieved the first part of his dream - he was selected for the MBA programme in the Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. The ten years away from Swami had given birth to another realization in him.

“I came to know that there is nothing in the world, nothing in life other than the Lord, my Swami. I decided that I would do whatever necessary to be with Him and never lose contact with Him again. I realized that I would possibly have left Swami to pursue a career after my education if not for this decade-long stint in the ‘outside world’. Those 10 years made me realize the magnitude of the blessing of staying with Swami. It trained my focus on to Swami and Swami alone. Thus, when I got an MBA seat, I was delighted. This would be my re-entry into the world with my Lord and, this time, I would ensure that nothing ever takes me away from it.”

Even as he achieved the first part of his dream, he did not lose sight of his ultimate dream - to become near and dear to his Swami. Being his classmate, doing the MSc course as he did his MBA, I can definitely vouch for his efforts. Amey became a lead singer in the bhajan group, was regular in all the hostel disciplines, excelled in studies and was clearly in college to pursue a lifelong sadhana. Everybody felt that he was different - some even criticized his ‘needless adherence to the ideal way’ but that was surely born out of their own inability to be like him! Amey also became part of all the cultural programmed put up in mandir in the Divine Presence. He excelled as a speaker and actor.

His faith in Swami had been strengthened by a statement that he often read and and heard from Swami,

“I sometimes act as if I keep you at a distance; that is done to reform you quicker. When a stretch of road is being repaired, I go by another detour and I do not use that bit of road for some time. The purpose is to let the repair works proceed more quickly so that I may use that road again.”

Ah! That is the property of Divine Love alone. Even at the cost of being misunderstood and ‘hated’, Swami continues to do what is best for the individual. He knows that though you may criticize Him now and feel bad, in due course of time, the divine wisdom and love will be appreciated. While human love is concerned only with the comfort of the body and the mind, divine love sacrifices the body and mind at the altar of the soul. Divine love is concerned only with soul which is forever, rather than the body which keeps changing with every birth.

The cherry on the icing

In 2007, Amey was a research scholar, pursuing his PhD in Management. He had no idea that Swami had been silently witnessing his ‘growth’ and had decided to give him a pat on the back. The 21st of August is celebrated as the ‘MBA Day’ to mark the inception of this professional programme in the University. Every year, the MBA students would put up a drama in Swami’s presence on MBA day. However, in 2007, Swami scripted the day differently.

He told the vice-chancellor, A.V.Gokak that there was no need of a drama as the students had put up one less than a week ago (that would be the Independence Day Drama on 15th August). He wanted a couple of speeches instead. When the names of some senior teachers were presented to Swami to select as the speakers, Swami said that he wanted speakers who could sing very well. He wanted many songs in between the talks he said. Only two people from the MBA department fitted this bill - Amey Deshpande and Subash Subramaniam. That in itself gave a hint about Swami’s selectivity.

On the 21st of August, 2007, Amey and Subash delivered their talks. It was unbelievable to see that Swami was almost in tears after an hour. He said,

“I am feeling so full today that I am not able to speak. You have given me so much joy.”

For Amey, that was an acknowledgement of his decade-long efforts. Swami did not stop at that. He said that since He was not addressing the students that day, He would specially address them the next day morning.  Conferring the two boys with lots of blessings, Swami left after the bhajans.

That evening, the vice-chancellor visited the hostel to invite all the students and teachers to the mandir next morning for Swami’s discourse! Having done his duty, he sent everyone out but these two boys. Then, he told them,

“Swami was all the while remembering and speaking about you only. He said that He wanted such boys to stay with Him forever. He even discussed with everyone at the dinner table about the steps and measures to be taken to retain such excellent Sai-students. He has advised me to ask you this and so I am doing it in private. What would it take for you to remain here always? Swami is ready to pay any salary, give you any comforts and do everything possible so that you remain here with Him always. He says that students like you are His greatest treasure and He wants to retain you here forever. So, tell me, what is it that you seek?”

Amey was now in tears. Ten years ago, Swami had sent him out. Today, He was pleading him to stay and stating that He was ready to do anything to keep him with Him. Ah! What humility! The ten years ‘away’ from Swami had brought Amey very close to Swami. So, he answered the vice chancellor,

“Sir, Swami has given me more than I could ever imagine. It will be my privilege and opportunity to be here with Him forever. Please tell Swami that he has always given me even before I have asked. The fact that He wants me here forever is the greatest blessing that is conferred on me. It is Swami’s love and humility that makes Him seek this as a favor from me when, in reality, this is the greatest blessing that I can ever imagine.”

Chained to his dear Lord for Life...

And that was when Amey realized that at times, you are made to move away from your goal to achieve your goal! The next morning, Swami materialized a gold chain for Amey and ‘chained’ him to Himself for life. He did the same to Subash as well. During the discourse on the 22nd of August,2007, He presented the two students as ideals for the whole student community:

“Yesterday, the talks delivered by two of our MBA students were very good. Listening to them was a great pleasure to Me. We are very happy to have such good boys in our college. These two boys stood first in their class and were awarded gold medals. But you should not be satisfied with these awards and rewards. You should become good boys. Even the value of gold may diminish but not the value of goodness. Hence, you should cultivate goodness and earn a good name which will remain forever.

Students, you are like pure gold. You are all very good. But sometimes you encounter waves of disturbance and doubts in your lives. Many a time, your faith is shaken by some aberrations. Do not pay attention to these. They will go as they come. Come what may, you must remain fearless and steady. Your studies are meant to develop steadiness in you. Study to be steady. Keep this always in your mind. Look at these two boys. How happy they are! In fact, all the MBA students are good. It is not possible to say that one is good and the other is bad. Their singing also was so good. They are intelligent, virtuous and full of vigour. They will be an asset wherever they go. Such boys should stay back to serve the institution so that they can impart their goodness to others. There is nothing great in going abroad and earning a lot of money with your academic qualifications. Money comes and goes, morality comes and grows.”

Today, a decade after joining the MBA programme, Amey continues to be in Puttaparthi as a teacher. He continues to motivate and inspire love for Swami in the hearts of the students and is happy to have achieved his dream of being close to Swami forever.

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)