Choose heart over head, God over world - Dr. Raghunath Sarma's life experience - Part 3

Overcoming the dilemma at Puttaparthi

Raghu reported at the Prasanthi Nilayam campus of the University to pursue his final year of BSc(Hons) in Mathematics. He was pleased to be in the physical presence of Swami. Swami continued to refer to him as the ‘hunter’ and spoke to him every now and then. Raghu’s form seemed to continue. However, the demon of doubt was soon coming at his doorstep.

Midway through the year, many students began to discuss matters regarding their future and careers.  It is usually the ‘privilege’ of brighter students in the class that get into such discussions because they feel that it is their right to do so. The academically weaker ones seem ‘content’ in taking up whatever comes their way. Raghu was also among the ‘academically ahead’ because he had been freed from English as a subject and he scored well in all the other Mathematics papers.

From a spiritual perspective, greater aspirations and desires can often be disadvantageous. For, after all, isn’t ‘contentment’ (whatever be the reason for it) a measure of spiritual advancement and ‘desire’, a spiritual lacking?

Raghu found himself in the horns of a dilemma - should he pursue the MSc degree like an ‘academically-average’ student or, like the ‘academically advanced’ student pursue professional degrees in institutions like the IITs? It was a battle between the mind and the heart. His mind told him that he should not restrict the glory he could achieve by choosing to do MSc while his heart told him that he shouldn’t give up the greatest good fortune of his life for the sake of some paltry glory. He was troubled a lot between the two opposite extremes.

{This is the third part of this beautiful life-experience. It would be a good idea to continue reading it after completing the first two parts at the links below.
PART 1:- Choose God Choose Life - Dr.Raghunath Sarma's life experiences_Part 1

PART 2:- Choose God Choose Light - Dr.Raghunath Sarma's life experiences_Part 2 }

Raghu applied to about half a dozen professional courses in various institutions. However, every time he got the call-letter, his heart couldn’t bear going away from Swami. So, without thinking much, he would tear up the call letter and not go to write the entrance examination. He reached the shores of MSc in Puttaparthi not by confidently walking across the bridge but by burning the bridge behind him so that he has no other option. During his first darshan in the MSc days, Swami looked at Raghu and said,

“Dunnapota... Dunnapota... Dunnapota” (Buffalo... buffalo... buffalo)

The twinkle of mischief with which Swami used this term of endearment convinced Raghu that He knew all the mental agony he had gone through to arrive at the decision to continue MSc in Puttaparthi. Raghu was happy that he had pleased Swami with his choice.

Being wedded to God

It appears as though God is not happy if one ‘burns bridges’ to get to the right shore because it shows the ‘suppression of desires’. God wants the ‘separation of desires’ instead. He does not like someone choosing Him by being in a position of no choice. God should be the conscious choice of a devotee.  And God gives multiple opportunities for the devotee to make that choice.

One day, Swami came to Raghu and asked,

“Who is your Bharta (husband)? Tell me... Enquire and tell me...”

Raghu was taken aback. He had seen Swami cracking jokes with a few students asking them who their wife was. But this was a strange question. He simply kept quiet at first. But Swami did not move on and it was evident that He expected an answer. Raghu began to ponder on it because he knew that Swami does not say anything without a meaning.

With great love comes great tests - lifetime experience of Sai Krishna_Part 2

The beginning of the slide

Sai Krishna spent the days after Guru Poornima in blissful contemplation of the beautiful opportunities Swami had given him. The joy he derived from thinking about those moments over and over again never seemed to decrease. On the contrary, each time he relived the moments, the joy only seemed to increase! That was the critical difference between worldly joys and divine joys, he noted. While worldly joys reduce with the passage of time, divine joy seems to increase and mature with time!

By now, the Ramakatha had got deeply embedded in Sai Krishna’s consciousness. He could sing those songs, fully immersed in them and without bothering to look at the lyrics. Each time he sang those songs, he realized the magical poetry the lyrics contained. The repeated singing had made him transcend the level of the lyrics and rhythm into the level of feeling and experience. Lost in this bliss, everything else that was part of his daily schedule felt so mundane and unimportant. But was his bliss permanent? Had Sai Krishna developed equanimity which is the surest sign of a true devotee? Only time would tell.

{This is the second part of a compelling story. If you have come here directly, it is advised that you return after reading the first part at:

With great love comes great tests - lifetime experience of Sai Krishna_Part 1 }

It was the 7th of August in 2005 and it seemed like any other day in Prasanthi Nilayam. It was a Sunday and that meant two opportunities for darshan. Swami arrived in the hybrid Porte car for darshan and, after completing a round of the Sai Kulwanth hall, drove on to the stage. From there, He looked at Sai Krishna who was seated in the first row. (Such was the regularity with which Swami interacted with Sai Krishna and Om Prasad that they would have reserved seating in the front lines. It was a win-win situation where Swami seemed to get ‘magnetically pulled’ to these boys and in that process, the other students too could enjoy darshan, sparshan and sambhashan of the Lord.)

Swami beckoned to him and Sai Krishna rushed on to the stage, to his Lord. Swami lowered the window of the car and asked,

“Where is the other? Your brother...”

Sai Krishna turned back and realized that Om Prasad had still not arrived to the mandir.

“Swami, he must be on his way...”

Swami nodded and sent him back.

Sai Krishna and Om Prasad rush to Swami when He beckons to them from the stage in Sai Kulwant hall
on the 7th of August 2005. 

News travelled at the speed of light among the students. Even before Sai Krishna returned to his place, a few lads had sped out of the hall in search of Om Prasad. The Lord was waiting for him. Sure enough, in a few minutes, Om Prasad was in the mandir. As soon as he came, he was made to wriggle through the seated students to the second row. Swami saw that both the  boys were there and He called them on stage. He told them to sing some songs.

Sai Krishna was thrilled - another opportunity! The mikes were in place and the musical accompaniment was also ready in a few moments. The duo began to sing Telugu songs which Swami had enjoyed a lot on previous occasions. The tune and rhythm were perfect. The feelings in Sai Krishna’s heart were also at their pinnacle. However, there was a difference in the Divine Script today. In between a song, Swami just moved away from the stage, into the interview room!

This had never happened so far with Sai Krishna. He had not seen Swami get up and go midway when he had been singing. It was apparent that Swami was upset over something because, after a few minutes, a messenger came out of the interview room and told the two lads to stop singing. After that, the evening progressed as usual with bhajans at the stipulated time. Sai Krishna did not understand what happened that evening. But it changed everything in a moment. It reduced Sai Krishna from a ‘crown prince’ to a banished outlaw!

A fall that hit very hard

Everything came to a standstill from that day. Swami began to ignore Sai Krishna completely and he was at a loss to understand why. He continued to sincerely do all that he had been doing so far. His top priority was still Swami and he religiously practiced all songs regularly. Yet, Swami did not even acknowledge his existence, forget asking him to sing! Till that moment, Sai Krishna had almost felt that Swami belonged only to them. Now, he felt that everyone else except him belonged to Swami.

With great love comes great tests - lifetime experience of Sai Krishna_Part 1

The beginnings of a divine romance

The summer vacation had just been declared for all the students of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning in 2005. Unlike any other place on earth where such a declaration is met with great cheering, Prasanthi Nilayam seemed to be witnessing an atmosphere of mixed emotions. Well, that was the case at least for a few students like S.V.B.S.Sai Krishna.

On one hand, the summer vacation promised a lot - a relief from the rigorous rigmarole of reading writing and arithmetic, a break from books and a distraction from discipline - that anyone would look forward to enjoy once in a while. Thus, it was no surprise that more than three fourths of the hostel had been emptied of the students who resided there. On the other hand, the summer vacation meant a physical separation from Swami (as the devotees endearingly call Bhagawan Baba). This was unthinkable for some of the students and, again, it was no surprise that the remaining quarter of the hostel had ‘sacrificed’ their vacation to be with Swami. (The single-quotation mark on the word ‘sacrifice’ is because of the prevailing myth that one has to sacrifice something to get God!) Sai Krishna was one amongst that quarter in the hostel.

Two weeks into the vacation, news arrived which further divided the hostel into four more quarters. This was the announcement that Swami would be leaving for Kodaikanal on the 19th of April. It was a known fact that He would definitely pick some students to accompany Him for nearly a month’s stay at the hill station. Who would be on ‘The List’ which would dynamically vary every day? Sai Krishna, like all the other students who had stayed back for the vacation, wanted to be a part of that list. He knew that if he didn’t manage that, he would have to physically miss his Swami for at least a month. He did not want to ‘suffer’ that fate.

The 17th of April saw Sai Krishna achieve boundless joy as he was informed by a teacher that his name figured on the List! It was a dream come true for him and he immediately called his parents to inform them of his great good fortune. Thus, on the 19th of April, Sai Krishna also took to the skies along with his Swami, headed southwards towards the state of Tamil Nadu. 

The bhajan-singing duo with Swami in Kodaikanal. To Swami's left is Sai Krishna and to His right is Om Prasad. 

There is an advantage of being a bhajan-singer in Swami’s entourage. It is like being a part of a select group within a select group. Sai Krishna was a singer and he got many opportunities to sing bhajans and songs in Swami’s presence. That Kodai trip in 2005 turned out to be a turning point in Sai Krishna’s bhajan-singing ‘career’ and relationship with Swami. He realized that there was nothing about him that Swami does not know and yet He loved him without any bias. This could not be anything short of pure, selfless, divine love! Swami gave him so many opportunities to sing. In fact, teaming up with Om Prasad, Sai Krishna became part of what could then have been considered as “Swami’s favourite pair”. Among the many songs they sang, Swami seemed to have a particular liking for the ‘Ramakatha’, the story of Lord Rama in song form. There is the Telugu version of Ramakatha as sung by the twin sons of Rama, Lava and Kusa. Om Prasad and Sai Krishna seemed to have become the twin sons for Sai Rama!

May 7th saw the Kodai trip conclude but it was just the beginning of the divine love-shower that Sai Krishna was about the receive from the Avatar of the age.

In the spotlight...  

Love is possibly the least understood, most misunderstood and possibly most overused of all terms. It is often confused with infatuation, attachment, lust, and liking. Let us ask ourselves of things/people we love. Ten years later, when we ask the same question of ourselves, will the answers remain same? To understand that, let us look back at things and people we felt we were in love with ten years ago. Today, do those things or people hold the same grasp over our hearts? This is the reason for cases of broken hearts,  unrequited love and pain. When the difference between infatuation/attachment and love becomes clear, we understand better what we should seek in life. We also come to know that it can only be sought from the Divine. Why this sudden emphasis on what love is? Sai Krishna’s story will explain this as it unfolds. 

Having experienced Divine Love in Kodaikanal, Sai Krishna decided that he wanted nothing else as desperately as he wanted to bask in the sunshine of Swami’s Love and Grace. On His part, Swami also continued to shower Sai Krishna with many opportunities. The biggest among them came two months after the return from Kodaikanal. On the 11th of July 2005, Swami made a surprise visit to the Institute auditorium. All the students and teachers flocked to the auditorium to enjoy this unexpected bounty. Swami seemed to be searching for someone. When He saw Sai Krishna, He beckoned to him.

“Sing the Ramakatha”, He commanded.

It had been a ‘normal’ day of classes so far and Sai Krishna was not ready. He had been blessed with the opportunity to sing for Swami in the mandir just the previous day. So, he did not expect to be singing again so soon!  He also did not have the lyrics sheet of the Ramakatha with him. The Ramakatha is fairly complicated and consists of five different songs. Sai Krishna did not know the lyrics by heart so far.

“Swami, my book is in the hostel. Can I please go and fetch that?”

“Where is your brother?”

Swami was obviously asking about Om Prasad.

“Swami, he is not feeling well. So he is resting in the hostel.”

“Okay. Go, get the book and return soon.”

What is the greatest gift in life? Life experiences of Kishore Madhamshettiwar_Part 1

An ‘accident’al realization

Kishore Madhamshettiwar rose from his bed early in the morning and began to get ready for the 350 km drive from Moga to Delhi. It was early in March 1986 and this would be a defining trip in the 27-year old’s life. He had received a marriage proposal and this would probably be one of his first visits to his to-be bride’s home. Two of his juniors from work (Kishore was heading the Condensed Milk Division of Nestle in Moga) also wanted to go to Delhi and they would be joining him for the journey which would be made in Kishore’s faithful Fiat car.

(Those were the days when car-choice in India was restricted to either the Fiat or the Ambassador. The former was the “small car” and the latter was the “big car”!)

The Fiat or Premier Padmini on the left was the small car while the Ambassador on the right was the big car in those times. 

Before setting out on the journey, Kishore entered the building adjacent to his house. This building had the honour of acting as the residence to Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba when He visited Moga in 1973 and had been converted into a shrine since then. (Sai Blossom has created a memorable DVD of this 1973 trip under the title - Love Flows North. ) Kishore wanted to pay his respects before the journey.  It was not as if Kishore was a devotee or follower of Baba. However, his family Guru, Sri Malhari Baba of Chandrapur (Maharashtra) had told him,

“Sathya Sai is the Paripoorna Avatar (the Absolute Descent). It is wrong to compare Him to Rama or Krishna because such a Descent has never happened nor will it happen... When the time comes, you will meet Him...”

It was out of implicit obedience to his Guru that Kishore paid his respects to Baba before embarking on the journey.

The only picture of Malhari Baba which I could procure. This is from the letterhead of a letter written to Kishore
by Malhari Baba. More about the contents of that letter will come later...
(Malhari Baba left his body on the 21st of March, 2011)

The drive was smooth and comfortable. Within a couple of hours, the Fiat car crossed Ludhiana, the first milestone on the road towards the national capital. That was when the speeding car swerved and toppled into an accident. Like some fighter jet, the car did a complete canopy roll but miraculously ended up upright on the road. Kishore turned to look at his juniors. They seemed fine except for the look of horror on their faces. They were staring straight at him, at his profusely bleeding head!

In the melee that had ensued during the canopy roll, Kishore’s head had apparently been struck by something hard which had caused it to open up and gush forth blood. He was rushed to the nearest hospital. The doctor glanced at him and exclaimed,

“Is this a human being or a living ghost? He is in terrible shape...”

Kishore did not understand what the doctor was talking about. He was feeling no pain. However, it was evident that he had suffered severe loss of blood. The hospital did not have the necessary facilities for complex surgeries. Without anesthesia, the doctor patched in fifteen stitches to stop the bleeding.(If a stitch in time saves nine, the doctor surely saved Kishore at least 15x9 = 135 stitches!) The doctor also pumped his body with 2-3 bottles of blood.

“You should rush to AIIMS (Delhi) or CMC (Ludhiana) for further treatment. What I have done is only a stop-gap one”, he told Kishore when he sat up on the hospital bed.

Kishore decided to disobey the doctor because he was not feeling “even a pin prick of pain”! What could be so serious but so painless? He decided to head to Delhi - not for the hospital but for the work he had set out upon. It was the pleas of his juniors that convinced him to turn back home. By that afternoon the Fiat found itself parked in Moga and Kishore entered his house. His sister’s siesta was broken and she came out of the room, rubbing her eyes.

“Brother, I had a very strange and vivid dream... Oh my God! What happened?”

“It is nothing much. There was a little accident and I got a small head injury”, Kishore replied, not wanting to create tension at home over something that was not even hurting him. “But tell me, what was the dream you were speaking about?”

Now the sister smiled. She said,

“You say it is a small injury. Listen to my dream... It’s amazingly connected.”

Then she began narrating the dream

A huge mountain had collapsed on Kishore and he had got buried under the huge debris. Out of nowhere, Sathya Sai Baba had arrived. Instantly, He dug through the debris and excavated Kishore who seemed absolutely unhurt. Baba now raised him up by the hand and poured life into the lifeless body. Baba then told Kishore,

God is content with one's good intent - Sairam's experiences with Sri Sathya Sai - Part 2

God always bestows more than what one needs

The experiences of Sairam with Chayee are so amazing and absorbing that they will be part of a separate story as promised. However, this much can be said here that Sairam indeed made Swami happy with his dedication and, in return, Swami blessed Sairam amply with grace. In fact, one such blessing from Swami taught Sairam an unforgettable lesson.

Swami and all the Chayee boys with Chayee Koh Seng in Chayee's room. Chayee is the person in blue shirt.
Sairam is kneeling to the extreme left in the picture with his hands folded in prostration. 

Pleased with the three ‘Chayee boys’ (as they were called), Swami called them in for a mini interview. He gifted all of them with white Safari suit cloth.

“Here”, He said to the two other boys, “you have big frames and hence you will need 3 meters of cloth each.”

The two boys gratefully received the divine gift and took padanamaskar. When it was Sairam’s turn to receive the cloth, Swami smiled mischievously and gave him a shorter cloth,

“For you, 2.5 meters are sufficient...”

Sairam then bent down to take padanamaskar but he was slightly disappointed. Why did Swami give him less cloth? He was smaller in frame than the other two boys but he wasn’t that small either. Anyway, there was nothing else he could do and so, he received the cloth gratefully. On returning to the hostel, he devised a plan. During the vacation, he would purchase a matching cloth that was necessary to get him a safari suit and then get it stitched. Happy with how he had solved the problem of cloth-scarcity that Swami had created, he slept at night.

The next day, Swami summoned the three boys again. Giving them money, Swami said,

“I want you three to stitch safari suits and wear them tomorrow...”

While the other two boys rejoiced at this bounty and blessing, Sairam was slightly worried. Would he actually be able to stitch a safari suit with the smaller cloth that Swami had given him? Nevertheless, the three of them went to the tailor.

“We need a safari suit each, stitched and ready to wear for tomorrow. Will you be able to do it?”, they asked the tailor.

“ If that is what Swami wants, it shall be done”, he said and took their measurements. Sairam kept a watch on the measurements and noted that he was not much less than the other two in these ‘figures’. He did not tell the tailor about the lesser cloth he had received. The three of them submitted their cloth pieces and left.

(This is Part 2 of an ongoing story. If you haven't red part 1, it is highly recommended that you do so before returning to read the concluding part here.
God is content with one's good intent - Sairam's experiences with Sri Sathya Sai - Part 1 )

The stitching was completed overnight and the next day afternoon, the three were at the shop. The tailor looked at Sairam and began,

“There was a little problem in the cloth quantity sir.”

“I thought so... the safari suit is not ready then?”

“Nothing like that sir... The cloth from the other two boys was little less and I did not know how to complete trousers for them. Thankfully, there was extra cloth in your piece. I borrowed from it and completed theirs too. Hope you don’t mind...”

Sairam was baffled to say the least.

“And, what about my suit? Will you stitch the trouser later?”

“No no sir! Your suit is ready. Its just that there was extra cloth which I used for these two boys. Please don’t mind...”

Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - the love story of Vijaya Sunder with his Swami_Part 3

Unfolding of the Divine punishment

God is often seen as a Mighty Judge, sitting high above mankind, branding and separating people as good and bad; as noble souls and sinners. How very wrong this idea is! In fact, every part of the statement is incorrect. To begin with, God is not a judge. When you judge someone, you cannot love him/her. When God loves everyone equally, how can we ever criticize Him of judging? Every moment of Swami’s life is filled with pure Love. Where is the time and space for Him to judge then? The next part of the statement about Him branding and separating people is also false. He always exhorts us to be united - to see unity in the apparent diversity. Finally, the way God views ‘noble souls’ and ‘sinners’ is totally different from the way we view them. For God, every saint has a past and every sinner, a future!

Therefore, when we speak of God’s ‘punishment’, we have to understand the context properly. For instance, while the Government of India decided that the apt punishment for a murderer was a noose around his neck, Swami decided that the perfect punishment would be a rosary instead of the noose. And this is because Swami believes in finishing off the murderous tendencies rather than the murderer. That was the life story of Kalpagiri. So, when Swami says that both ‘good’ and ‘bad’ done in the Divine Presence come back to you a hundredfold, He speaks not about reward and punishment the way we understand them, but of balance and harmony.

Vijay had no doubt destroyed a picture of Swami. And no doubt he had to ‘pay’ a hundredfold to set that right. But it would be totally wrong to consider that as ‘punishment’ the way we understand it. The way Swami made him pay back a hundredfold was so beautiful and uplifting.
{This is the final part of a story which has a lot of background. To enjoy it completely, please read it only after reading the first two parts which are at the links given below.
PART 1: Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - Part 1
PART 2:
Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - Part 2 }

“You destroyed an image of Me. Now you will have to make a hundred images for Me. That will be your punishment; that will be your redemption.”

So beautiful isn’t it? The way God ‘punishes’ us ensures that it helps us attain the ultimate goal of life at the earliest. His ‘punishment’ too is an act of supreme compassion and grace. That was what an overwhelmed Vijay discovered on his journey of a hundred ‘payback images’. Speak to him today and he will say that he wishes he could pay back a thousandfold! One of the earliest among his sketches was of Sri.N.Kasturi.

Being of squirrel service to the Lord - Arun Kharidehal's experience

When Lord Rama removed His garb of Maya for a moment

Hanuman, the mighty, had returned from his adventure in Lanka and confirmed to his Lord Rama that Sita had indeed been kept prisoner in Ravana's island nation. It did not take much time for the Lord to decide on the next course of action. But, as always, He consults with his brother Lakshmana and with the chiefs of the vanara and bear forces, Sugriva and Jambavan respectively.

The collective decision is that a plea be made to the Ocean God so that He may give way for Rama's armies to get to Lanka from the tip of the Indian sub-continent.  And so, Rama prepares to worship and seek the blessings of the ocean. Really? Does Rama, the Lord incarnate, need to do that? He doesn’t but He too becomes an actor when He descends on the world stage. As an actor, He too puts on Maya.

Maya or delusion is inextricably intertwined with the world or creation. While it is not the subject of this article to delve on what Maya is, this much can certainly be stated that overcoming this Maya is what God-realization/nirvana/liberation/fulfilment of the soul is all about. Since Maya is the nature of the dual world, it is said that even God, when He/She descends to earth, comes wrapped in Maya. A practical meaning of Maya can be derived from a beautiful statement of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba,

"Man knows little but he acts as though he knows everything; God knows everything but He acts as though He knows little."

Maya is that which makes man behave all-wise and that which makes God behave all-ignorant. However there is a difference here - while Maya controls man, God controls Maya. God allows Maya to seem as if it is in control so that man can feel kinship with Him. That kinship then grows into devotion which finally leads to the realization of oneness with the Creator. Then, there is no more Maya because there is just One! And so, blessed are those moments in History when the devotee is humble and when the Lord is majestic because these are moments when the veil of Maya has been parted.

The Ocean God humbly submits to lord Rama

One such moment occurs when the ocean does not seem to relent. Rama picks up his bow and announces,

“With a single arrow, I shall dry up this entire ocean.”

The Rama that the monkey and bear hordes see now is a totally different one from what they had seen a few moments before. This is Rama, the supreme divinity, bearing the brilliance of the sun when the covering clouds have been blown away. All are in awe and are completely convinced that once the arrow leaves the Kodanda, Rama’s mighty bow, the ocean will be a thing of the past. It is precisely at this moment that the Ocean-God appears and prays to Rama,

“Oh Lord! Please do not get upset with me. I am just following the rules that you have assigned for my existence. Please cross over me by building a bridge. I shall help support that bridge to the best of my ability.”

Rama seems to calm down and He agrees that it is a good idea. But now, His army is charged up. They have got a glimpse of Rama’s capability and they are sure that with His grace, a bridge can easily be built! When God clears the veil of Maya, it is to enthuse the devotees and grant them faith by clearing doubts. That is precisely what Krishna did on the battlefield of Kurukshetra when He granted a doubting Arjuna the Vishwa Viraata Swaroopa.

Participating in the Maya with awareness

Living with God is true education it is said. That was the education that Arun Kharidehal was blessed with for several years of his life when he got the chance to serve his God, his Swami,  Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. He would spend almost his entire day with Swami almost be among the privileged few who would almost live with Him in the name of security! During those few years, he had ample opportunities to witness both - Maya and it’s parting. The few moments when Swami decided to tear the veil and reveal His true identity were enough to keep Arun on his toes always. He kept reminding himself of the Being in whose presence he was spending each day.

“This is not an ordinary presence; it is an omnipresence”, he told himself regularly.

Such awareness helped him enjoy and be part of his Lord’s Maya as well.