Destiny or Freewill - the third option by Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Debate Classics 

With God, there is always a third option which is completely different
from the available two options. 

There are some debate topics that are considered timeless because they seem to rage on in the hearts and minds of people with no apparent solution at hand. Like the famous question on whether the hen came first or the egg, such debate topics have no provable answer. That is the reason why they are picked for debates - because they showcase the debating skills of the participants without actually concluding anything. I remember one such debate in my college days on whether the means justify the ends or whether the ends justify the means. After an hour of grueling and intense debate, the moderator walked up to the lectern and said,

"The debate appears to have come to an end today as the allotted 1 hour is up. However, in reality, the debate has not ended. It has just begun in the minds of all that have assembled here and that should rage on till we find answers for ourselves."

I must confess that living with my Master, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, and experiencing His divinity, I have got my answers to several such debates which rage in the inner recesses of one's being. The question of means v/s ends has been amicably resolved with the experience of Mr.Pushkaraj Gumaste. Another debate that raged on within me till recent times was the timeless classic on whether one is governed by destiny or by one's efforts. The destiny v/s freewill debate has been battled out in many bustling classrooms, on daises and stages of different levels and even on television shows. However, while everyone has a point of view and fiercely argues for it, even to this day not many can claim clarity on the subject. Nobody is convincing enough for us to accept completely, without reservations.

Would it raise eyebrows if I were to claim that this debate too has been resolved in a beautiful manner for me by my Swami? The answer arrives via the experience of Prof.Raghunath.N.Safaya in the early 1980s with 1983 being the most probable year of happening. It was narrated to me by one of the first students of the revered professor, Sunam Gyamtso. Sunam's account gave me a very unique answer for this question of freewill v/s destiny and, more importantly, filled my heart with a lot of cheer. Without further ado, let me spread and share that same cheer to all the readers.

A very different teacher in the class

That eventful day in the spring of 1983 is unforgettable for Sunam. He was sitting along with his classmates, awaiting the beginning of the Philosophy class. The lecture was to be delivered by Prof. Raghunath Safaya. He was a stickler for time and was never late for class. Today, however, seemed to be a rare exception. He walked into the class after a good five minutes of the bell being rung. And even as he walked in, he seemed to be quivering and quaking. The students looked at each other. They knew that something was amiss. Did they spot a few tears behind those thickset glasses that the professor wore? Was there a faint quiver in his voice when he wished the whole class 'Good Morning' and 'Sairam'?

Prof.Raghunath Safaya in a group photograph with Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba and other teachers in the foyer
of the college building. He is seated to the extreme right of Bhagawan. To his left is Gangadhar Shastry. To Swami's
left is Kirti Ravel (Hindi) and to his left is CLN Murthy. To extreme left of Swami is Kuppuswamy beside whom 
Sandeep Shastri is kneeling. 

A brief history of the revered professor is in order here. Prof.Safaya was well-versed in his subjects and was a master in philosophy and history. His hometown was Chandigarh in North India and he had traversed hundreds of miles to serve as a teacher in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. Previously, he worked at the Teachers' Training Institute at Chandigarh. His greatest passion, hobby and love in life were astrology and palmistry. That was something that he had inherited from his ancestors, all of whom had been respected for their knowledge of the way in which the planets and stars in the skies along with the lines on one's palm influence one's life.

And so, Prof.Safaya was the owner of a set of heavy books on astrology and palmistry which had arrived into his hands like an heirloom. He often fascinated his students with his knowledge of these sciences which seemed to be far greater than his knowledge of history and philosophy too. In fact, his faith and confidence in these sciences was also far greater than his faith in Swami.

According to him, Swami was a very wonderful and evolved human being who was spreading goodness in society - nothing more, nothing less. That was what had attracted him to Him and he tried to imbibe as much goodness from Him as he could. Swami, on His part, seemed very happy with the professor's efforts. He appreciated them and Prof.Safaya often got interviews.

Sunam and his classmates knew that today was another such day when the professor had received an interview with Swami. But never before had they seen him in such a state of overwhelming emotion. What had transpired today?

A ruler of lines falls in line with the rules of the ruler

Prof. Safaya himself narrated the powerful happenings of the morning. Swami had called him in for an interview. He entered the interview room and for the first few minutes, the interview went along the lines of the previous interviews. Swami asked him how things were going, how the students were and so on. Then, out of the blue, Swami told him,

"You seem to have great faith in the predictive sciences of your forefathers. That overpowers even your faith in God's strength! Do you believe that commensurate to your surrender, I will take care of everything for you?"

The professor was taken aback. The question was direct and almost in his face. However, it was not easy for him to instantly transform his reverence for Swami into implicit faith. He had heard about the power and grace of God, but wasn't it this very Swami who had gifted him with an emerald ring to wear? Emerald was his lucky stone and green, his lucky color. Having adhered to such talismans of luck Himself, how could Swami ask him to give up all that he had learnt as ancestral wisdom? Little did Prof.Safaya realize then that with God by his side, even misfortune could become a good-luck talisman - that is the capacity of Divine power.

Swami continued to taunt,

"Professor, your sciences can only predict. Can they help you intervene if something is unfavourable?"

Prof. Safaya knew this to be the truth. Though astrology and palmistry suggested some remedial measures for impending 'disasters', he knew that none of these remedies were foolproof.

Swami now did something that he had never imagined. Calling him closer, He held both his hands. Slowly, Swami brushed His palms over the professor's upturned palms. Then He told him,

"Tell me, what does life hold for you?"

The professor looked down at his palms. Having seen them every day of his life, he actually had no need to do that. He knew the contours on his palm by heart. The lines were etched in his memory stronger than they were on his palm. It was only out of respect for Swami that he looked at his palms. He was in for a shock.

Amid tears, the professor told his philosophy class students,

"When I looked, I did not find a single line on my palms. They had been wiped clean - no trace of even the faintest etch!"

The power of surrender

As the class listened with bated breath, the professor continued his narrative. Swami stood smiling in front of him, apparently enjoying the professor's discomfiture and shock. Prof. Safaya just broke down and Swami lovingly patted him.

"Don't worry about anything. Once you surrender to me, I shall take care of everything."

The professor fell to his knees and touched Swami's feet. What he had thought as impossible had actually happened - his reverence for Swami had transformed into implicit faith in a moment!

"Yes Swami! Yes Swami! I believe that commensurate to our surrender, you take care. Complete surrender means a life completely taken care of!"

Swami smiled at him again and touched his palms again. The lines were all back again - to the last detail! The professor was overwhelmed at the presence of this Master who could wipe out and re-draw the lines on his palm at will.

"You have nothing to worry when I am shouldering your lives. Just surrender, that is enough."

The interview was complete after that. Swami opened the door and let the professor out. It was time for his class in the Institute and Swami knew that he was a stickler for time. However, the dialogue on surrender had been so powerful that the professor decided to temporarily suspend his punctuality.

Instead of walking to the Institute, he walked straight to his room. He gathered his precious heirloom - all the thick books on astrology and palmistry. He bundled them all up in a big cloth and carried the bundle out of the room. He walked to the large ground-level well that was located behind the planetarium beside the Institute building. Without further thought, he just dumped all the books into the well. Then, wiping his tears, he walked to the waiting class.

Destiny or Freewill

"Dear students", he told them, "trust me, the science of astrology and palmistry are nothing compared to Swami's grace and power. I feel so redeemed today."

As I heard Sunam recounting the greatest philosophy lesson of the professor, I got my answer to the destiny and freewill debate. So, is it destiny of self-effort finally? My answer is - Who cares? I know for sure that Swami's grace is more powerful than my destiny, more effective than my efforts. And so, when presented with the choices, I go for the third option. As martial artist David Carradine says,

"There's always a third way, and it's not a combination of the other two ways. It's a different way."

And that way, for me is surrender. Swami has also given an elegant, practical way to practice surrender. If I can just follow that, it will be enough. The debate will cease and it will not matter to me whether it is destiny or my effort that is affecting me because I will have something far more powerful taking care of me. That is the way I shall go about in life now. And now, Swami's quote on destiny and self-effort gains greater meaning for me

"What you meet in life is destiny. How you meet it is self-effort."

If you liked this, you might also enjoy the following:

1. The powerful attraction between goodness and godliness - a professor's experience.

2. Waiting for the Lord - a dancer's experience with Sri Sathya Sai.

3. How Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba helped me in my career choice.

4. Death is the dress of life. 

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed monthwise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)

Desirelessness is fearlessness - an experience with Sri Sathya Sai that left an indelible mark on me.

An irresistible invite

The Root Cause for all fear!!!

It was sometime in the March of 2009 that my Sai-brother Amey came to me with a proposal.(I am using that term Sai-brother for two reasons -

1. to show that Amey and me are not related directly.

2. to make it clear that in spite of being from different families, we are near-siblings, definitely brothers in some previous birth!)

“Aravind, this summer I will be going to Singapore to spend a few days with my sister and her family. Would you like to come along with me?”

Having never stepped out of Indian shores in my life before, I was instantly tempted at this invitation. It got me excited and Amey immediately saw the gleam in my eyes. To further goad me along the invitation, he said,

“See, it is not just like a ‘fun vacation’. There is a nice Sai Center and the devotees there always look forward to any student who visits Singapore. Since you have promised Swami that you will share all your experiences, it would be very nice if you can do the same there...”

I still had not spoken any word. My conscience did not seem to say anything against the proposal. But my mind was protesting furiously.

“You have no idea of the costs involved Aravind. You will not be able to afford even the ticket to get there. Don’t get over-excited...”

I think that either my face is very transparent or Amey is a very good ‘Aravind-reader’ because his next statement was,

“I already have a booked ticket for you. Don’t worry about it at all. It is really nothing. I am very eager that you should speak to the people there. It will also be fun for my nephews to play with two uncles rather than one!”

Finally, I spoke,

“Wow Amey! This is exciting. But, I am not sure...”

“You ask Swami”, he interrupted, “and then take a decision based on what He says. Then it will be fine right?”

That was real good advice from a big brother. I had a smile on my face. I agreed to his idea and then tried hard to suppress the thrill and joy that was coursing in every sinew of my body.

A desire gets overwhelming

Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, my dear Swami, says that everyone must place a ceiling on desires. Desire is the root cause of all worries and troubles. In the Bhagwad Gita, in the 62nd and 63rd verse of Chapter 2, Lord Krishna says:

“While concentrating on the objects of the sense (sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing), a person develops attachment to these sense objects. Such attachment gives rise to desires. (Non-fulfillment of) These desires lead to anger. From anger arises delusion which leads one into confusion. In that confusion, one loses one’s ability to discriminate after which it is total ruin.”

The desire to go to Singapore in the summer became overwhelmingly dominant within me. I thought of seeking Swami’s permission for the same but how was I to do it? I wrote a letter to Swami saying that I had got a chance to go for a ‘nice vacation’ in a few months time and that I sought His blessings for the same. The wordings were purposely vague because I felt that Swami may not like me taking up ‘foreign travel’. The 2nd of April, 2009 witnessed a very emotional and love-filled programme by the devotees of Odisha. Such was the atmosphere of love that was created that I felt it to be the appropriate moment to hand over my letter to Swami. I felt that Swami would accept anything offered to Him when such an ambiance had been created!

(Isn’t it funny that the mind continues to delude even when one is aware of Swami’s reality? That is possibly the power of Maya!)

I was shooting with a video camera on stage that day. As Swami received Aarthi and was being wheeled out from the dais, I gently offered the letter to Him. Much to my joy, He accepted the letter and went on. I was so happy. Immediately after the programme, I called up Amey and told him that Swami seemed to be fine with the Singapore trip. He was also happy as I was. However, he did not share my secret worry and sorrow - that I had hidden some things about the trip from Swami because I was fearful about His response for the same.

Cause for my fear

On several occasions, Swami has exhorted on the importance of being loyal to one’s own country instead of running away to some foreign country and seeking asylum there.

“A seed must sprout and grow into a tree wherever it is planted” - and so, Swami even resolved that come what may, He would never leave Puttaparthi. He would always reside in Puttaparthi which is His home. The Lord’s word holds good for all ages because it is beyond the limits of time. And so, even to this day, in spite of the physical departure, I am convinced that He is present in Puttaparthi. One just has to visit the shrine in the holy hamlet to feel the Presence. That is not an ordinary presence; it is the Omnipresence! Of course water is available wherever we dig deep but one can get sweet water at the surface itself when one is at a lake or pond. The Avatar’s place of physical residence is one huge ocean of such sweet water. Why spend hard efforts digging when it can be easily obtained at certain places? Thus the need to visit Puttaparthi I feel.

Anyway, coming back to the point, Swami has always been a strong proponent of staying within the boundaries of one’s nation and working for it.

“When there is so much work to be done in your country, why do you think of going to others’ countries?” He would often ask.

One part of me was saying,

“It is not as if there are no people in India who would love to listen to experiences of Swami. Why then do you want to go to Singapore?”

Another part of me was saying,

“If there was a need for you to speak in India, Swami would have brought that proposal to you. It is Swami who has brought the Singapore proposal to you and you should accept it right?”

I did not know which voice I should listen to. This much was true that I definitely wanted to go to Singapore. That is why I thought I would get permission from Swami. Though I had got it, it was only for a ‘nice vacation’ and not for a ‘trip to Singapore’. That guilt ate into me.

It was more of a conscience-easing exercise when I handed over a letter about a 'nice vacation' to Him.

Desirelessness is fearlessness

My ticket to Singapore was booked for the 15th of May 2009. The 13th day of the month dawned. I was definitely excited but somewhere deep in me was that gnawing feeling that I had tried to ‘hoodwink’ Swami. Of course He knows everything. He was aware of my trip to Singapore and my attempted ‘camouflage’. The gnawing feeling asked me,

“Why then do you not tell facts as they are to Swami?”

I had no answer. My condition was like that of the narrator of Edgar Allan Poe’s Tell-tale Heart. In an attempt to assuage this feeling, I wrote another letter to Swami. But even as I was writing this letter to Swami, the thoughts of Swami saying ‘No’ for the trip came up. I got a bit fearful and, once again, avoided mention of any ‘foreign’ terms in the letter. I just wrote that it would be an 8-day break near the sea-shore. I sat with a nervous prayer for darshan that day.

As Swami came on the gents’ side of the hall, my heart began beating more and more rapidly. A few feet before reaching near me, Swami accepted two wedding cards from a student. He seemed to be studying them when He came right in front of me. I offered my letter to Him. Now, instead of taking my letter, Swami dropped one of those wedding cards into my hands. I did not understand what that meant. But that was it. He just moved on. The boy who had offered the cards to Swami came to me immediately after the darshan and asked me to return his ‘blessed’ card. I was in a confused state and so I just returned the card to him. Nothing else happened on that day.

I carried the same letter on the next day too, fully aware that I had only about 24 hours to get the permission. I was desperate that Swami accept the letter from me on that day. I had no idea about the little drama that would ensue that day. Swami completed the ladies’ side and moved into the gents’ side and within minutes, was near me. As He neared me, He looked at me and flashed a beautiful smile. I was so happy. Things seemed to be taking a positive turn finally. Presently, He picked a small packet of vibhuti from His lap. I was sure that He would throw that to me as a sign of His blessings. Now my heart became light. However, as He threw that packet, the direction went ‘awry’ according to me. The lad seated beside me thrust out his hand and caught it in mid-air, inches away from my palm. Swami passed by us.

I looked with surprise as the lad. It was a teacher from the Higher Secondary School. He was so happy. He told me that a wedding proposal had come for him and he had prayed to Swami to guide him. This vibhuti packet, he felt, was Swami’s way of showering His blessings on him. That story was so moving that I did not have the heart to tell him,

“Hey! But that packet was meant for me. You hijacked it midway.”

Though he was happy and I let him remain so, I was in deep desperation now. I did not know what to make of this whole episode. Swami had definitely smiled at me and, I was sure, wanted to give a vibhuti packet to me. But ultimately, the packet had ended up in someone else’s possession. Was that a blessing given or a blessing withdrawn at the last moment? I wasn’t able to comprehend. The session in the mandir was soon complete and I was back in my room.

My last hope now was to get a dream in which Swami would indicate to me whether I had His blessings or not because I am convinced that dreams about Swami are 100% true. That, however, did not happen and I woke up to the sunrise on 15th May with a feeling of dense darkness within me. I went about my morning ablutions in a mechanical fashion wondering what I should do. A taxi had been booked for the afternoon and there was no guarantee of morning darshan. It was only on some days that Swami would arrive in the morning for darshan. The only way now was to wait till evening darshan I felt. But that would surely mean missing my flight. I had not confided my dilemma to even Amey and so, I felt very lonely.

As I was completing my bath, my roommate Dhananjay knocked hurriedly on the door.

“Aravind, Swami is about to arrive for darshan.”

That was such a welcome message. I hurried through the motions of getting ready. The tension of the past few days was so much that it had reached breaking point. And at that breaking point, came the insight.

I pondered as to why I felt so nervous in telling Swami about my trip to Singapore. Simply because He might get upset and tell me not to go. But if Swami tells me not to go, is that not for my good? Then, why was I feeling so fearful? It was because I had already ‘decided’ that I wanted to go. I was so desirous of my trip to Singapore that I did not seem to care about what Swami felt. I wanted my desire fulfilled at any cost and did not want any obstacle to even. I had begun considering Swami as an obstacle instead of my guide! That is what desire does - destruction of one’s discrimination as Lord Krishna puts it. And it arouses the fear of non-fulfillment of the desire. All that one has to do to become fearless is to give up the desire.

“So what if Swami tells me not to go to Singapore? It is for my good and I will accept it.” I thought to myself and immediately felt the darkness lift from in front of my eyes. With a light heart I seemed to be even able to run faster towards the mandir. I went into the bhajan hall and wrote a fresh letter. This time, I wrote everything as it were - that I was going to Singapore on a paid ticket for eight days.

Keeping an eye on one's desire is a always a cause for fear.

Fearlessness and joy - gifts of Swami’s Abhayahasta

After a few interviews in the morning, Swami was moving towards the dais outside for the bhajans. He saw me at the bhajan hall entrance and asked me what was up.

Me: Swami, this evening, I am supposed to leave...

Swami: To where?

Me: Singapore Swami....

Swami’s eyes opened up wide and He exclaimed, “Singapore?”

He opened my letter and began to read. I was surprisingly calm. I was ready for anything He said.

“How many days?” He asked.

“Swami, 8 days”, I replied.

He pointed out to the same thing that I had written in the letter also. Then, He looked at me questioningly. I felt He was asking me,

“Do you want to go?”

This was the test of the learning I had received just minutes before. I went close to Him and said,

“Swami, if you tell me to go, I shall go. Otherwise, I shall stay here.”

Swami went back to reading the letter. He then looked at me and nodded.

“Go and return soon.”

“Swami please give me prasadam (A devotional offering made to God that is later shared among devotees as a sign of Divine benediction. But in Swami’s case, it was vibhuti which seemed to be the deal-sealer for any question!)”, I said.

Swami nodded gently. Usually, when He did that, an attendant student would get the basket of vibhuti packets from the interview room from which Swami would give a few to the person seeking prasadam. The attendant student did not notice Swami nodding and so, I told him,

“Get vibhuti.”

He was shocked at me giving him an instruction. He looked at Swami who now smiled and told him to get the same. A few moments later, Swami was giving me 3 vibhuti packets and also a lovely padanamaskar. I had joy in my heart and in a few hours, was on my way to the Bangalore airport to catch my flight to Singapore.

Swami asking me how the trip to Singapore was on my return after 8 days. 

That was how my first ever overseas trip materialized with a very important lesson for me - desires are the root cause for fear. Be desireless; be fearless. That is the message of Swami’s Abhayahasta (literally translates into ‘the hand the confers fearlessness’) blessings. That is the blessing we must seek when Swami raises His hands to bless us:

“Lord, grant me fearlessness. Grant me desirelessness.”

And when we think deep, we will realize that we are asking for the same thing, twice!

If you enjoyed this, you will also enjoy the following:

1. The importance of being good. 

2. An amazing experience with Sathya Sai and the Suka Nadi.

3. The final Namaskar - the ultimate message. 

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 'previous articles' listed monthwise. that have Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)

No reason or season for Love - but are we happy?

Who are you Baba?

Love is my form; Truth is my breath; Bliss is my food.

Many have been the times when my Swami, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, has been asked,

“Who are you?”

Swami’s answer to this question has been different, based on the understanding of the people who asked the question. On one occasion, He answered,

“I am God; but so are you.”

On another occasion, the answer was,

“Find out who you are and then you will realize who I am.”

On yet another occasion, to a group of westerners who asked the same question, Swami replied with a melodious song (which has today become a bhajan in itself).

Love is my form; Truth is my breath; Bliss is my food; 
My Life is my message; Expansion is my Life

No Reason for Love

No Season for Love

No Birth No Death

Satya Dharma Ananda Shanthi Prema Ananda

Shirdi Sai, Parthi Sai, Prema Sai Jai Jai

Shirdi Baba, Parthi Baba, Prema Baba Jai Jai

If one understands this little song, one understands the greatest secret of life. Elaborating further on the song, in a discourse Swami said,

“When the song says ‘My Form’ it does not refer to me alone. It refers to anyone who sings the song.”

Well, that was another way of saying, “I am God; but so are you.”

Every line in the song is a punch line - worthy of deep contemplation and full of insights. In fact, I have often lost myself in the beauty and grandeur of the ‘central’ line of the song -

“No reason for love; No season for love.” But before I share my thoughts on that line, I must share one little episode.

Party or Duty

A long and beautiful day came to an end as the Christmas celebrations concluded in the Sai Kulwant Hall. Personally, it was a very satisfying day for me and I had taken pictures in both the morning and evening sessions. I was very happy with the beautiful darshans and, as Swami returned to Yajur Mandir after the divine discourse, I decided to ‘rock the night away’ as the popular carol Jingle Bell Rock encourages.

My plan was to go to the home of a close friend and enjoy a lovely Christmas meal with some movie going on. At the end of a hard day’s work, the prospects of the dinner-movie combo was alluring to say the least. A host of other friends too had gathered at the ‘party house’.  I just reached my friend’s house and was about to settle into the night when I got a call. It was from my colleague at Radiosai.

“Aravind, listen. The Christmas decoration with lights at Swami’s residence is simply breath-taking. Only you are permitted to go near the residence. So, would you mind going there now and taking a few pictures? It would be good for our records.”

My first reaction was of disappointment. I had to change into my white dress again, pack the camera and then go and take the pictures. So I said,

“Can I not do it tomorrow? It’s quite late now anyway...”

“We are not sure that the decorations will stay tomorrow. If Swami asks for them to be taken down, we would have missed the opportunity...”

“Ok. I am going.”

The others who had arrived for ‘rocking’ away the night looked at me with their ‘do-you-want-us-to-wait-now’ eyes. Forcing myself to be sportive, I said,

“Carry on. I may join you later on.”

With that, I felt that all my party plans got washed out. Reluctantly, I made my way to the studio to pick up my camera.

How I actually ‘rocked’ the night away

My mind was complaining but I silenced it. I told the mind,

“So many times I have been thrilled with the privilege of entering the Yajur Mandir grounds. It is the same privilege that has given me this responsibility too.”

“But, you had such a beautiful night planned ahead”, my mind protested.

By now, I had become quite familiar with the dialogue between the mind and the heart.

“If things are going this way, it is because Swami has planned it this way. His plan is bound to be better than your plan”, said my heart to my mind. I also remembered many instances in my life when doing the right thing over the pleasant thing had made me a recipient of Swami’s love. There were also instances where I had sacrificed something dear to me for Swami’s sake only to receive something dearer in return. I had learnt that there is nothing like ‘sacrificing’ for the Lord.

Thus consoling myself and actually feeling very happy about my decision, I reached Yajur Mandir gate. Showing my ID card, I walked in and was truly spellbound by the beauty of the lights and decoration. Suddenly, I was no longer feeling bad about missing the ‘party’.

As I was taking pictures, I noticed that there were three seniors standing on one side of the Yajur Mandir. I immediately recognised one of them as Veda Narayan sir. I walked up to him and saw that beside him, on a stool, was a large cake.

“Oh wow! Is that a cake?” I was obviously stating the obvious!

“Yes.” That was sir’s reply with a smile.

“Is this being offered to Swami on behalf of the Central Trust boys?”

“Yes.”

“Wow! After Swami blesses it, can I get a large piece of it?”

“Yes.”

The three ‘yes’ answers in a row somehow cheered me. These three would ensure that someone from Swami’s residence would take the cake in and then maybe come back tomorrow morning to receive the ‘blessed’ cake. That was what I assumed and went ahead, continuing my photography.

Sai Kulwant Hall as seen from the Yajur Mandir that night.

Santa and the Christmas tree

The last image I took before the unexpected entry...

Within 10 minutes, the main entrance door of the Yajur Mandir opened and was I pleasantly shocked! That door would almost never be opened unless Swami was there. Adding to my ‘shock’ was the scene of the three people walking into the Residence with the cake!

Was Swami calling them in? I am working in Radiosai. Though that is not part of the Central Trust legally, I am also a Trust boy right? Because Swami has no distinctions based on ‘rules’...

These were my thoughts as I rushed towards the door before it could slam shut. I wedged my hand in between and a surprised ‘door-keeper’ there let me in. I entered and immediately was face to face with my Lord! Can you imagine that?

The sight which I saw on entry 

Loving Swami's uncertainty

The minute I entered, I saw that there were at least 6-7 people about Swami. Almost all of them had a look of shock and disbelief. They seemed to be wondering what on earth was I doing in there. I was suddenly confused. Had I done something terribly wrong? Had I barged in where I wasn’t supposed to? My palpitating heart was comforted when my eyes fell on Swami. He was on a chair with a knife in hand. The cake was in front of Him. He was looking directly into my eyes. When my eyes met His, He beamed a lovely smile. I now walked in and closed the door behind me. The three who had been standing now bowed to Him and took padanamaskar. I had my camera in hand and I was taking pictures (naturally). When they had completed bowing down, I went on my knees and sought namaskar. When He consented, for the first (and only) time in my life, I bowed down in a complete Sashtang namaskar (bowing down where all the eight limbs of the body are touching the ground) at His lotus feet. Swami smiled again and told me to pose for the camera. Veda Narayan sir snapped a few pictures. Swami then blessed all of us and we were let out.

He heard the little prayer that I made and then gave me the Sashtang Namaskar.
Oh! How I wish that the smile He gave was captured in a picture...

I was in a daze. It was only later that I came to know about the cake tradition. These three ‘lads’ (they were fully grown men by then) had the great privilege of sleeping outside Swami’s bedroom when Swami stayed in the small room above the bhajan hall. And so, on Christmas mornings, Swami would pass by them before entering the balcony via the ‘Silver door’ for the magnificent Christmas morning silver door darshan. The boys would then offer a cake to Him which He would cut and bless. Swami had stopped the balcony darshan from a few years now. But He had graciously permitted these ‘boys’ to continue getting their share of the ‘cake-blessings’ by allowing them to get a cake in the late evening! I had been an absolute gate-crasher!

Ah! How grateful I was to Him! If He had not smiled at me and blessed me, my gatecrashing could have landed me in serious trouble. Instead of that, now I was being given a large chunk of cake to eat and enjoy. How I love Swami’s uncertainty when it expresses itself like this! Much later, I was also told that this was the only time that the ‘three boys’ got pictures with Swami and, therefore, Vedanarayan sir personally thanked me for that. I also thanked him because I had got the chance of my lifetime.

I went straight back to my room without the slightest regret of having ‘missed’ a party. I was glad and happy that I did not flinch when it came to doing my duty or giving up something that I felt was fun and special.

No reason for love; No season for love

Here is some food for thought.

All of us love Swami’s uncertainty when, out of the blue, something nice and memorable happens. We are thrilled when we receive a blessing ‘without a reason’. We conclude that it happens because of Swami’s love which has ‘no reason; no season’. Even though we are not deserving of the good that is happening to us on the face of it, we are happy to accept and even celebrate it. But what about those instances in life when things take a sudden turn for the worse? Please allow me to elaborate.

What about those times in life when we are hanging by our necks from the tight noose of some problem but Swami does not seem to be responding to us? What happens when life that is otherwise moving smoothly is bombarded by disaster, death or disease? What if a lovely relationship suddenly sours, a business loss destroys all savings, an accident handicaps one for life or a life which was full of people suddenly turns lonely?

In my introspection, I notice that every time such a thing has happened to me, I have shouted out inwardly, asking my Lord,

“Why Swami? Why is this happening to me?” OR

“Is it fair that this is happening to me?”

Let me throw that question back at myself but seeing it from Swami’s perspective like the wonderful Krishnadasa did.

“Aravind, when something ‘wonderful’ happens to you without you ‘deserving’ it, you accept it as Swami’s benevolence. When something ‘bad’ happens too, is it not His benevolence?”

When I am deeply rooted in my faith that everything in my life is going as per a MASTERPLAN, there is no need for me to despair or celebrate for God is doing everything. Reminding myself of this always helps me to live in serenity and peace and ‘enjoy’ everything that is happening in my life. And there IS A REASON why there seems to be no reason or season for God’s love.

Unlike human love which is concerned with the body and the mind, Divine love is beyond these temporary phenomena. Divine love is concerned only with the soul. Divine love is ready to sacrifice the body and mind at the altar of the soul. Swami’s Love for us is like that - He will do anything and everything possible for our soul’s upliftment - whether we understand it or not; like it or not. Isn’t that why He often exhorts,

“Love my uncertainty.”

But instead of loving His uncertainty, we grow uncertain of His love! Is that fair to Him? We accept and celebrate His uncertainty when it benefits us but condemn and criticize the same when things don’t go our way.

As Prof.U.S.Rao, former principal of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, Prasanthi Nilayam, once put it in our class,

“We have to grow into accepting Swami’s uncertainty first. Then alone can we grow to the state of loving His uncertainty.”

Yes. That is the way. Acceptance and Love. But why?

There is no reason for Love! :)

If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy the following:

1. Messenger ceases to exist once the message is delivered

2. The Difference Between Infatuation vs. Love

3. Difference between saying a prayer and praying

For all readers:

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