"Why fear when I am here" - the story of Anantappa and Sathya Sai

The relationship between God and the devotee is the relationship between God and God!

God and devotee

It was one of those famous ‘Trayee sessions’ at Brindavan, Whitefield (Bangalore). Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, ‘Swami’ as He is affectionately called, was seated on the ornate swing in the jhoola room and all around were the students who had decided to stay back in the ashram even during the summer vacations. This was a ‘sacrifice’ that they had gladly made for they knew for sure that they would receive much more than they had ‘given up’. Nothing is greater than being near and dear to the Master, their Swami, whom many even considered as their Lord. I too was among those students who considered Swami as his Master and Lord and so, for me, every word that fell from His lips and every action that He did was of great significance.

That day, Swami asked one of the senior teachers, Sri.Sanjay Sahni, to address the boys. As always, Sahni sir had a unique style of blending stories with messages. That day, he chose a very reassuring theme - that God will never sit quiet when a devotee is harmed or subjected to injustice. He narrated the experience of a devotee who was not ‘worldly-wise’ or ‘smart’. Thus, he was naturally exploited by many in different ways - especially emotionally and financially. During the narration, I was lost in my thoughts of Swami as I was sitting quite close to the swing. So, I am unable to remember the details of the experience he narrated. However, I cannot forget the ending statement that Sahni sir made,

“If you criticize the Lord or even harm Him, God will forgive you but just touch His devotee and you are finished!”

I remember that statement because there was a spontaneous applause and Swami looked at Sahni sir as if asking him to repeat the final statement. Sahni sir repeated the statement with greater volume and greater emphasis and that message got firmly reinforced in my heart.

In times of trouble

Many have been the instances in life when I know that people are being unfair to me or are trying the cheat/harm me. Sometimes, these ‘people’ have been those who are apparently very influential, powerful and wealthy. What I mean to say is that when they decide to put you into trouble, it looks like nobody can save you. You feel a great fear in the heart and think that maybe the best way out would be to compromise your stance and bend in front of them. At such times, it feels as though it does not matter what is ‘RIGHT’ or ‘WRONG’. Might automatically becomes right and since you are a weakling, you just have to shut up.

It is precisely in those times that I always recollect this episode at Trayee Brindavan. There is definitely a reason why Swami made Sahni sir repeat that statement. He wants it to be drilled deep within me that come what may, when I am right, the greatest power in the Universe is on my side. And that is the power of goodness or the power of God. So, all that I have to do is ensure that I am good and on the right path. The Lord may be loving and forgiving enough to suffer pain and ignominy. But He will not tolerate it if such pain and ignominy befalls the one who is dear to Him; the one who is on the path of goodness and love. Before I dilate further on a few other points, I must relate the powerful experience of Ananthappa’s daughter. This has been recorded by the legendary Prof.N.Kasturi in his autobiography, Loving God.

Anantappa’s problem

Anantappa was one among the sixteen peons at the college in Davanagere, Karnataka, where Kasturi was the College Head. He was slow in his thinking and considered by everyone as a dullard. He had difficulty carrying out the simplest of commands and any shopkeeper who was unscrupulous could cheat him with the greatest ease. He slept when he was supposed to be on guard-duty and did not seem to understand whether he was being scolded or praised.

And yet, Kasturi employed his services because he was a very pious soul. He seemed to have all his mind and heart dedicated to Swami. He spent hours of sincere efforts when it came to things related to Swami. Kasturi felt that Anantappa would surely lose his job if he was in the service of any other. Kasturi felt redeemed in his choice when Swami reciprocated Anantappa’s love. Swami showered him with grace divine and, on one occasion when Kasturi had taken him along to Puttaparthi, told Kasturi that Anantappa was not an ordinary soul. In his slum dwelling surrounded by drunkards, drug-addicts and vagabonds, Anantappa was like the saintly Vibhishana in Lanka, Swami had said. Numerous were the miracles that Swami performed to safeguard Anantappa and his family. That was the reason why the world could not take him for a ride even though he was a dullard - Swami would never allow that!

Anantappa’s younger daughter was wedded to an employee of the Mysore Railways(which has today been replaced by Southern Railways). This son-in-law, though a smart and intelligent man was of a highly suspicious nature. He always felt that his wife was flirtatious and even suspected that she kept the window of the house to ogle at men on the streets! In spite of all her explanations and pleas, he did not listen to her and often locked her within the home without even allowing a window to be opened. He even beat her at times based on his suspicions. Anantappa tried a lot to convince his son-in-law that his daughter was chaste and pure but it was all in vain.

Doubt is such a deadly demon and there is absolutely not cure for it! And before we start to criticize Anantappa’s son-in-law for his dastardly acts, we should examine our own selves to realize how often we fall prey to this demon called doubt. As Swami says, when things do not ‘seem’ to be going our way, we begin to doubt even God! We wonder at times whether God, in His ultimate knowledge, actually knows what is good for us? The demon of doubt can be defeated only by the angel of faith. But hey wait! Faith is so ‘unscientific’ right? Faith implies taking things at face-value without deep inquiry. Faith is only for those that are irrational!

Please allow me a much-needed detour before I get back on track to Anantappa’s son-in-law’s story.

Faith is about being rationally irrational instead of being irrationally rational

A simple case to point here. How do you know that you are your father’s child? Isn’t it because your mother told you that and you have faith in her words?

“Nah! I have a birth certificate issued by the doctor in the hospital that I was born. So, its not as if I am my father’s child because of faith.”
That means that you have faith in the doctor and the hospital where you were supposedly born. How are you sure that the doctor is not lying? Or that he is hand in glove in a nefarious scam with your ‘alleged’ mother/father?

“I see where you are going. But don’t think that proves me to be unscientific in my conviction about my parents. There is this thing called parental testing which is scientific. I can get that done.”
But hey! Wait a minute! You mean to say that you have faith in the instrument that does the test? How are you sure that there is no malfunction of the instrument? Worse still, how do you know that the method works? Isn’t that confidence based on faith that every hospital in the world is using the method and so it must be true? How can YOU be sure? Have you personally checked it?

If one goes on this way, one will realize that the only way one can be scientific is to have all the knowledge in the world - biological, engineering, medical, chemical etc. Then alone one will not need to take anything on faith. Else, somewhere along the line, one would have to have faith. There is no other choice. Now, here is the ‘faith way’ of parental testing. It works this way - Accept the person as your father/mother and the way he/she treats you in life will prove to you that the person has to be a parent to be so loving and sacrificing!

That is why, when science screams, “Seeing is believing”, Faith softly but firmly proclaims,
“Believing is seeing.” All said and done, faith is the only cure for doubt.

Swami cures the doubt of Anantappa’s son-in-law

Frustrated with her imprisoned life, the wife told her husband,

“Take me to Puttaparthi and ask Baba about me. He will vouch that I am a faithful wife to you. Else, I shall put an end to my life by jumping into the well there and you will be rid of me forever.”

Hearing the drastic words, the son-in-law agreed to accompany Anantappa and his family to Puttaparthi. With great love, Swami immediately granted them a personal audience. Without even being updated of the state of affairs, Swami told the doubting son-in-law,

“Your wife is as pure as Mother Sita (consort of Lord Rama). She is as noble and loving as Mother Parvati (consort of Lord Shiva). Take care of her.”

The son-in-law was struck by Baba’s omniscience and he nodded. Swami told Anantappa,

“Don’t worry. He is a good fellow. They will live happily from now on.”

But Swami’s words somehow seemed to be going wrong as the son-in-law was again caught by doubts. He wondered whether Anantappa and Baba had conspired to create this drama of ‘omniscience’. He charged his wife of infidelity and said he would take revenge. He got up and stormed out of the room, without bothering about Swami’s presence. Swami just smiled.

That night itself, the son-in-law said that they should leave Puttaparthi. At Penukonda railway station, the four got into the Bangalore-bound train. The son-in-law, by virtue of being an employee of the Railways, could get a first-class seating for his family. However, doubts and thoughts of revenge made him place his in-laws and wife in the wooden-seater, third-class compartment. He himself got into the empty first-class compartment. Now, he could plan the remaining part of his revenge in the solitude of luxury he thought.

The next morning, Anantappa was shocked to see a completely transformed son-in-law. He spoke humbly and sweetly and treated his wife with the greatest dignity and respect. In fact, he never locked her up ever again and almost worshipped her. Every month, he even submitted his entire salary to her to use for the house as per her discrimination and just sought a paltry sum of 15 Rupees as his pocket expenses! And Anantappa’s family indeed lived happily after that, just as Swami had said.

The consequences of ‘touching’ a devotee

What had actually transpired was something that Kasturi got to know later in a strange sequence of events. When he was waiting for a bus, his student came along in a horse-carriage and offered him a lift. Then, this sworn athiest of a student asked Kasturi about Puttaparthi and Baba. He was actually eager to meet him. When Kasturi asked him the reason for such sudden spiritual thirst, the student, a Railway Guard by profession, related the happenings of that fateful night when Anantappa’s son-in-law was transformed. He had been a personal witness to the events as they transpired.

Anantappa’s son-in-law was deeply lost in his plotting and planning in the late hours of the night in the first-class compartment. When the train was about 10 kilometers from the Thondebhavi railway station, all the lights in the compartment suddenly were ablaze and turned deep red. Suddenly, he saw Swami. But there was not one Swami. There were Swami’s everywhere and He seemed so angry. Blows began to rain on him from all sides and he was wondering how could Baba get on to a speeding train? How did He multiply Himself and how did He know what he was planning to do? But all those thoughts soon vanished as the pain from the blows hit him. Swami said,
“Won’t you believe me when I say she is innocent? Stop beating her! She is my child! In fact, all those who suffer are mine…”

Such was the impact and pain from the blows that the son-in-law rushed out of the compartment at Thondebhavi seeking solace and protection. His face and body were badly battered and he complained to the Railway Guard. Moments later, the compartment was completely empty and there was not a single red light therein. Anatappa’s son-in-law had experienced a transformation, albeit a forced one.

Months later, Kasturi was with Swami when He said that in His previous Avatar at Shirdi, He even beat people with sticks in apparent ‘bursts of anger’. Kasturi asked,

“Swami, in this Avatar, have you hit any one?”
“No. This Avatar is all love.”
“Still Swami, if not directly, have you hit anyone indirectly?”
“That is also out of love”, replied Swami with a twinkle in the eye.
Kasturi also just smiled in understanding as his heart completed,
“Love showered on a poor, hapless daughter!”

Concluding thoughts

“Why fear when I am here”.

Swami’s statement takes on new meaning for me here. All that I have to do is ensure that I am on the path of goodness and purity. Swami’s protective bubble is around me always when I do that and I have nothing to worry. Great forces in the universe may conspire against me but they are no match to the greatest force in the Universe that is protecting me. That is why the ancient Indian scriptures emphatically stated,

“Dharmo Rakshati Rakshitaha. Dharma Eva Hatho Hanthi.”
(Righteousness/Goodness protects those that protect Righteousness/Goodness. Righteousness/Goodness destroys those that destroy Righteousness/Goodness.)

Now that gives us reason to be good and fearless. It gives us reason and need to realize the importance of being good. Right? And while I am being good and following righteousness, those that wish to malign, criticize or torment me, beware! I have a great good wonderful Lord watching over me! Hehehehehehehehehe!

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like:

1. An amazing experience with Sathya Sai and the Suka Nadi

2. Sathya Sai fulfills a promise He gave as Shirdi Sai

3. Being an apple of the eye for God

4. The Sri Sathya Sai Education revolution sweeping across Karnataka

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed month-wise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 225 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 1

The problem of being judgemental

It appears as if man is a judgemental creature by nature. Having been endowed with a mind that no other creature in the universe possesses, man seems to engage it constantly to analyse, form opinions and finally pass judgement on almost everyone and everything he comes in contact with. This whole process happens so spontaneously yet unconsciously that if one were to ask someone,

“Are you judgemental?”

the answer would most probably be a negative or a “maybe I am judgemental at times". Very few actually know and have the courage to accept that they are judgemental. All the others either just lie or lack the knowledge. (There you go, I have already proved that I am judgemental!)

It seems to be a very hard task to go about the day without judging someone or something. We have opinions and thoughts about everything in life (almost). If you don’t believe me, try out this simple experiment. Just go to anybody and ask him/her a question. Just ensure that, before you ask the question, you preface the question with the phrase - In your opinion. For instance, if you wish to ask about global warming, don’t ask

“What is global warming?”

The answer that you get might be brief or even non-existent when the person just says,

“I hear a lot about it and I think it is something bad.”

Instead, just change the question to,

“In your opinion, what is global warming?”

Ah! Now you get a lot of words. In fact, there are cases of a person having an opinion about a subject though he/she has no knowledge of the subject! And this can be extended towards people too. We have opinions and pass judgement about people though we have no knowledge about them, their situations and circumstances.

Okay! So we are judgemental. Is there a problem in that? Of course there is. Being judgemental is a sure-shot path to unrest and loss of peace. A lot of energy (physical, mental and spiritual) is wasted and unnecessary conflicts/debates/arguments arise. Recognizing this, the saint, Mother Teresa said,

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

My Master and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba presents the same in the light of God,

“Sarva Deva Namaskaram Keshavam Prati Gachchati

Sarva Deva Tiraskaram, Keshavam Prati Gachchati.”

(The salutations offered to any/all beings goes to God. The criticism offered to any/all beings goes to God.)

He also goes on to state that if at all you wish to criticize anyone, it would be best to indulge in constructive self-criticism which leads to growth and betterment.

It was via a remarkable sequence of events and an unfolding of a Divine drama that I learned the importance of not being judgemental. The happenings spanned over three days - the 25th, 26th and 27th of September, 2009 - and they give a profound insight on why and how one should not be judgemental.

Beginnings of a drama

Dusshera, the festival marking the victory of Lord Rama over the demon Ravana, is celebrated annually with great fervour in Prasanthi Nilayam. It is also called Navarathri. (Dusshera signifies 10 days while Navarathri stands for 9 nights). One of the highlights of the Dusshera festival was the Divine Discourse that Swami would deliver on each and every evening, at the end of the day’s proceedings of the Veda Purusha Saptaha Jnana Yajna (a fire sacrifice for world peace that is held for seven days). In 2009, the Yajna began on the 22nd of September. However, even after 3 days of the Yajna starting, Swami had not delivered a discourse! This was quite disappointing for me and, I am sure, for all the assembled thousands in Prasanthi Nilayam. Every evening session used to have 2-3 speakers who unusually spoke for 25-30 minutes (instead of the standard 10-15 minutes). As a result, by the time the speeches ended, it was quite late in the evening. Swami would then ask the students in the bhajan group to sing bhajans at the end of which He would receive Arati, bless everyone and leave the Kulwant Hall premises.

The speeches being delivered were so unusually long that on the third day of the Yajna, Swami asked the final speaker to conclude his talk as it was getting late. Swami lovingly told him that he would give him a chance to conclude on the next day! Sitting in the front lines of the hall and witnessing this assurance from Swami, I could not help get overwhelmed at His love and kindness. At the same time, I was thrilled by the next statement that Swami made. He said,

"Tomorrow, I will speak."

The time was 6:40pm and it appeared to be the only reason why an otherwise ‘eager’ Swami was not delivering His discourse.

On the fourth day of the Yajna, something interesting happened. It was the 25th of September and the master of ceremonies introduced 3 speakers for the evening. I was seated in the second line right in front of the dais. Even as the speakers were introduced, I felt disappointed within. I thought,

“Oh no! Not again! I hope that these speakers realize the truth that everyone here is waiting to hear Swami and not them. They better conclude in 10 minutes so that there is sufficient time for Swami’s discourse.”

The first speaker started off his speech offering his salutations to Swami. It was the same person whom Swami had promised a second innings in lieu of the abrupt conclusion of his speech on the previous evening. I realized that the original number of 2 speakers had been increased to 3 because of Swami’s promise the previous evening. However, the statement from Swami that He would also speak kept me in an anticipatory frame of mind. I was waiting for the speeches to conclude.

Judgemental nature kicks in

Once the first speaker crossed the 20-minute mark, I got a bit irritated. My judgemental mind kicked in automatically. Adding fuel  to this fire of irritation was the fact that the second speaker too proceeded beyond the 20-minute mark! I began to mentally rant,

“This is really unfair for Swami! He had clearly expressed His desire to speak yesterday and none of the speakers seem to care even the slightest for it. They just go on and on in their swollen egos. Why don’t they just stop speaking and allow Swami to deliver His discourse? They claim to love Swami but do not care for His wishes and desires!”

Thus, I mentally branded all the speakers as egotists who did not care for Swami in the least. At that point in time, I did not feel in the slightest that I was being judgemental and critical. I felt that anybody with the slightest feeling for Swami would empathise and agree totally along my line of thinking. Well, for that matter, will the reader who has come up to this point of the narrative also not tend to agree with me? If not, I am sure that what happened next will surely get you to empathise and agree with me. If even after reading the next paragraph I don’t win you over to subscribe to my line of thinking, I guess this article is definitely not needed for you in terms of the lesson it conveys. You can however, still read it to enjoy a nice story! :)

As the third speaker was speaking, Swami placed His head upon the palm of His right hand and began to look at me. Our eyes met and Swami kept looking at me. I was almost about to get up to ask Swami whether He wished to convey anything. He smiled and looked away. I relaxed my tensed calf muscles. even as that happened, He began to look at me once again. My focus on Him was so intense that I was deaf to whatever the speaker was saying. And then, He signalled to me!

With a gesture of helplessness, shaking His head and hands, Swami indicated to me that He never gets the chance to speak. I was so moved at “His plight”. Though the speaker was speaking, I slightly raised on my knees, folded my hands and gesture-communicated to Swami that He should speak. He again made a gesture of helplessness. My blood was boiling now. I felt that the whole world was so selfish when it came to Swami. By now, almost everyone in the front rows came to know of “Swami’s predicament”. This was evident in what happened after the speaker concluded the talk.

Swami told the students to sing a couple of bhajans after which He received Arati. As is the practice, the prayer for universal peace - Samastha Lokaha Sukhino Bhavanthu - was chanted thrice before the session ended. Swami sat silently, gazing at the audience. Many of the students in the front rows (me included), filled this silence with a plea,

“Swami, you should speak.”

There was no response from Swami and He continued to sit silent. Gathering courage, I got up and walked up to Him on the dais. Surprisingly, Swami did not protest or tell me to sit down. It was as if He was expecting me to go to Him on the stage.

I thought of expressing the feelings in my (and everyone's) heart as I went up the stage...

Folding my hands, I knelt before Him. I offered a prayer on behalf of everyone in the hall,

“Swami, please, speak to all of us Swami.”

Immediately, Swami flared up with irritation. He said,

“It is late already. So how can I speak?”

“Swami, at least tomorrow? There is no need of anybody else. Only you speak - that is enough.”

“How can I? I am presented with a big list of speakers beforehand.”

“Swami, for tomorrow, there is no need to entertain anyone’s list of speakers. You  just speak and that is enough.”

“Tell all this to your teachers (and not to me)!”

I nodded in complete agreement. I turned and pointed out the entire audience to Swami saying,

“Swami all are here only to hear you speak. There are here for you only and not for anyone else.”

At this point, another student, B.Prabhakar, took courage and came up the stage. He said,

“Swami, it is our desire that we hear the ceaseless flow of nectar from your divine lips.”

Swami smiled and patted him.He looked at both of us. He appeared to have ‘calmed down’ as He said,

“See, today my voice is not good. I shall speak tomorrow.”

Resolve

My mind rushed back to its thoughts and feelings a few minutes ago. I was thinking that it was high time to silence the ‘selfish’ speakers. I wondered who it was that ‘pressurised’ Swami to cede to speeches in spite of everyone’s wishes and His own wish that He speak!I wanted to spoil the ‘speakers’ party’ the next day. There was silence as we sat near Him. I wanted to tell Him that any session becomes complete and fulfilled only when He speaks. In Telugu, the word for fulfillment is Poornam. However, so many thoughts were going on in my head that when I spoke, instead of the words Poornam, I pronounced it as Poornahuthi (the final offering made to the Yajnam.)

“Swami, only if you speak then it becomes Poornahuthi.

Swami smiled and corrected me,

“Poornahuthi is several days later!”

So I asked Swami,

“Swami shall we make an announcement that you will speak tomorrow? That will make everyone rejoice!”

"No! I will speak only to the children!"

When I did not get Him the first time, He repeated it for me. I nodded, thinking that, out of His great Love, Swami was not wanting to embarrass those egotists by making their ‘selfishness’ public! It was indeed His great Love. What I did not realize was that rather than preventing embarrassment to the egotists, Swami said that to ensure that I would learn a very important lesson about not being judgemental. And that lesson would inspire me to see God in everyone at a practical level rather than just at a purely theoretical level - a lesson which would explain the significance of Shakespeare’s opening lines in a famous poem. 

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts.

B. Prabhakar too joined me on the stage after a while! :)

But all that would happen over the next two days. Right now, I was waiting for the session to complete so that I could go and speak to some of the teachers as Swami had indicated. I decided that I would even speak to the vice chancellor and other elders if need be. What did I have to fear or lose? Swami had given me the instruction and I would just be doing His bidding. Knowing that one is doing the Lord’s bidding  is enough to instill absolute fearlessness in the heart.

“Truth has no fear. Untruth and falsehood shivers at every shadow”, says Bhagawan.

In fact, fearlessness is one of the foremost traits of a devotee because it is only God who can confer such fearlessness. That is echoed in 27th name of the Sri Sathya Sai Ashtotram,

Aum Sri Sai Abhaya Pradaya Namaha. (Salutations to Sri Sai whose Grace rescues us from all fears and grants us security from all harm.)

With this resolve to take some of the most important people head-on in a matter which was so important to Swami and all the devotees, I returned to my place in the hall as Swami retired for the day.

to be concluded in the second part posted at the following link:

Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 2

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed month-wise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 225 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)

Desirelessness is fearlessness - an experience with Sri Sathya Sai that left an indelible mark on me.

An irresistible invite

The Root Cause for all fear!!!

It was sometime in the March of 2009 that my Sai-brother Amey came to me with a proposal.(I am using that term Sai-brother for two reasons -

1. to show that Amey and me are not related directly.

2. to make it clear that in spite of being from different families, we are near-siblings, definitely brothers in some previous birth!)

“Aravind, this summer I will be going to Singapore to spend a few days with my sister and her family. Would you like to come along with me?”

Having never stepped out of Indian shores in my life before, I was instantly tempted at this invitation. It got me excited and Amey immediately saw the gleam in my eyes. To further goad me along the invitation, he said,

“See, it is not just like a ‘fun vacation’. There is a nice Sai Center and the devotees there always look forward to any student who visits Singapore. Since you have promised Swami that you will share all your experiences, it would be very nice if you can do the same there...”

I still had not spoken any word. My conscience did not seem to say anything against the proposal. But my mind was protesting furiously.

“You have no idea of the costs involved Aravind. You will not be able to afford even the ticket to get there. Don’t get over-excited...”

I think that either my face is very transparent or Amey is a very good ‘Aravind-reader’ because his next statement was,

“I already have a booked ticket for you. Don’t worry about it at all. It is really nothing. I am very eager that you should speak to the people there. It will also be fun for my nephews to play with two uncles rather than one!”

Finally, I spoke,

“Wow Amey! This is exciting. But, I am not sure...”

“You ask Swami”, he interrupted, “and then take a decision based on what He says. Then it will be fine right?”

That was real good advice from a big brother. I had a smile on my face. I agreed to his idea and then tried hard to suppress the thrill and joy that was coursing in every sinew of my body.

A desire gets overwhelming

Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, my dear Swami, says that everyone must place a ceiling on desires. Desire is the root cause of all worries and troubles. In the Bhagwad Gita, in the 62nd and 63rd verse of Chapter 2, Lord Krishna says:

“While concentrating on the objects of the sense (sight, smell, touch, taste, hearing), a person develops attachment to these sense objects. Such attachment gives rise to desires. (Non-fulfillment of) These desires lead to anger. From anger arises delusion which leads one into confusion. In that confusion, one loses one’s ability to discriminate after which it is total ruin.”

The desire to go to Singapore in the summer became overwhelmingly dominant within me. I thought of seeking Swami’s permission for the same but how was I to do it? I wrote a letter to Swami saying that I had got a chance to go for a ‘nice vacation’ in a few months time and that I sought His blessings for the same. The wordings were purposely vague because I felt that Swami may not like me taking up ‘foreign travel’. The 2nd of April, 2009 witnessed a very emotional and love-filled programme by the devotees of Odisha. Such was the atmosphere of love that was created that I felt it to be the appropriate moment to hand over my letter to Swami. I felt that Swami would accept anything offered to Him when such an ambiance had been created!

(Isn’t it funny that the mind continues to delude even when one is aware of Swami’s reality? That is possibly the power of Maya!)

I was shooting with a video camera on stage that day. As Swami received Aarthi and was being wheeled out from the dais, I gently offered the letter to Him. Much to my joy, He accepted the letter and went on. I was so happy. Immediately after the programme, I called up Amey and told him that Swami seemed to be fine with the Singapore trip. He was also happy as I was. However, he did not share my secret worry and sorrow - that I had hidden some things about the trip from Swami because I was fearful about His response for the same.

Cause for my fear

On several occasions, Swami has exhorted on the importance of being loyal to one’s own country instead of running away to some foreign country and seeking asylum there.

“A seed must sprout and grow into a tree wherever it is planted” - and so, Swami even resolved that come what may, He would never leave Puttaparthi. He would always reside in Puttaparthi which is His home. The Lord’s word holds good for all ages because it is beyond the limits of time. And so, even to this day, in spite of the physical departure, I am convinced that He is present in Puttaparthi. One just has to visit the shrine in the holy hamlet to feel the Presence. That is not an ordinary presence; it is the Omnipresence! Of course water is available wherever we dig deep but one can get sweet water at the surface itself when one is at a lake or pond. The Avatar’s place of physical residence is one huge ocean of such sweet water. Why spend hard efforts digging when it can be easily obtained at certain places? Thus the need to visit Puttaparthi I feel.

Anyway, coming back to the point, Swami has always been a strong proponent of staying within the boundaries of one’s nation and working for it.

“When there is so much work to be done in your country, why do you think of going to others’ countries?” He would often ask.

One part of me was saying,

“It is not as if there are no people in India who would love to listen to experiences of Swami. Why then do you want to go to Singapore?”

Another part of me was saying,

“If there was a need for you to speak in India, Swami would have brought that proposal to you. It is Swami who has brought the Singapore proposal to you and you should accept it right?”

I did not know which voice I should listen to. This much was true that I definitely wanted to go to Singapore. That is why I thought I would get permission from Swami. Though I had got it, it was only for a ‘nice vacation’ and not for a ‘trip to Singapore’. That guilt ate into me.

It was more of a conscience-easing exercise when I handed over a letter about a 'nice vacation' to Him.

Desirelessness is fearlessness

My ticket to Singapore was booked for the 15th of May 2009. The 13th day of the month dawned. I was definitely excited but somewhere deep in me was that gnawing feeling that I had tried to ‘hoodwink’ Swami. Of course He knows everything. He was aware of my trip to Singapore and my attempted ‘camouflage’. The gnawing feeling asked me,

“Why then do you not tell facts as they are to Swami?”

I had no answer. My condition was like that of the narrator of Edgar Allan Poe’s Tell-tale Heart. In an attempt to assuage this feeling, I wrote another letter to Swami. But even as I was writing this letter to Swami, the thoughts of Swami saying ‘No’ for the trip came up. I got a bit fearful and, once again, avoided mention of any ‘foreign’ terms in the letter. I just wrote that it would be an 8-day break near the sea-shore. I sat with a nervous prayer for darshan that day.

As Swami came on the gents’ side of the hall, my heart began beating more and more rapidly. A few feet before reaching near me, Swami accepted two wedding cards from a student. He seemed to be studying them when He came right in front of me. I offered my letter to Him. Now, instead of taking my letter, Swami dropped one of those wedding cards into my hands. I did not understand what that meant. But that was it. He just moved on. The boy who had offered the cards to Swami came to me immediately after the darshan and asked me to return his ‘blessed’ card. I was in a confused state and so I just returned the card to him. Nothing else happened on that day.

I carried the same letter on the next day too, fully aware that I had only about 24 hours to get the permission. I was desperate that Swami accept the letter from me on that day. I had no idea about the little drama that would ensue that day. Swami completed the ladies’ side and moved into the gents’ side and within minutes, was near me. As He neared me, He looked at me and flashed a beautiful smile. I was so happy. Things seemed to be taking a positive turn finally. Presently, He picked a small packet of vibhuti from His lap. I was sure that He would throw that to me as a sign of His blessings. Now my heart became light. However, as He threw that packet, the direction went ‘awry’ according to me. The lad seated beside me thrust out his hand and caught it in mid-air, inches away from my palm. Swami passed by us.

I looked with surprise as the lad. It was a teacher from the Higher Secondary School. He was so happy. He told me that a wedding proposal had come for him and he had prayed to Swami to guide him. This vibhuti packet, he felt, was Swami’s way of showering His blessings on him. That story was so moving that I did not have the heart to tell him,

“Hey! But that packet was meant for me. You hijacked it midway.”

Though he was happy and I let him remain so, I was in deep desperation now. I did not know what to make of this whole episode. Swami had definitely smiled at me and, I was sure, wanted to give a vibhuti packet to me. But ultimately, the packet had ended up in someone else’s possession. Was that a blessing given or a blessing withdrawn at the last moment? I wasn’t able to comprehend. The session in the mandir was soon complete and I was back in my room.

My last hope now was to get a dream in which Swami would indicate to me whether I had His blessings or not because I am convinced that dreams about Swami are 100% true. That, however, did not happen and I woke up to the sunrise on 15th May with a feeling of dense darkness within me. I went about my morning ablutions in a mechanical fashion wondering what I should do. A taxi had been booked for the afternoon and there was no guarantee of morning darshan. It was only on some days that Swami would arrive in the morning for darshan. The only way now was to wait till evening darshan I felt. But that would surely mean missing my flight. I had not confided my dilemma to even Amey and so, I felt very lonely.

As I was completing my bath, my roommate Dhananjay knocked hurriedly on the door.

“Aravind, Swami is about to arrive for darshan.”

That was such a welcome message. I hurried through the motions of getting ready. The tension of the past few days was so much that it had reached breaking point. And at that breaking point, came the insight.

I pondered as to why I felt so nervous in telling Swami about my trip to Singapore. Simply because He might get upset and tell me not to go. But if Swami tells me not to go, is that not for my good? Then, why was I feeling so fearful? It was because I had already ‘decided’ that I wanted to go. I was so desirous of my trip to Singapore that I did not seem to care about what Swami felt. I wanted my desire fulfilled at any cost and did not want any obstacle to even. I had begun considering Swami as an obstacle instead of my guide! That is what desire does - destruction of one’s discrimination as Lord Krishna puts it. And it arouses the fear of non-fulfillment of the desire. All that one has to do to become fearless is to give up the desire.

“So what if Swami tells me not to go to Singapore? It is for my good and I will accept it.” I thought to myself and immediately felt the darkness lift from in front of my eyes. With a light heart I seemed to be even able to run faster towards the mandir. I went into the bhajan hall and wrote a fresh letter. This time, I wrote everything as it were - that I was going to Singapore on a paid ticket for eight days.

Keeping an eye on one's desire is a always a cause for fear.

Fearlessness and joy - gifts of Swami’s Abhayahasta

After a few interviews in the morning, Swami was moving towards the dais outside for the bhajans. He saw me at the bhajan hall entrance and asked me what was up.

Me: Swami, this evening, I am supposed to leave...

Swami: To where?

Me: Singapore Swami....

Swami’s eyes opened up wide and He exclaimed, “Singapore?”

He opened my letter and began to read. I was surprisingly calm. I was ready for anything He said.

“How many days?” He asked.

“Swami, 8 days”, I replied.

He pointed out to the same thing that I had written in the letter also. Then, He looked at me questioningly. I felt He was asking me,

“Do you want to go?”

This was the test of the learning I had received just minutes before. I went close to Him and said,

“Swami, if you tell me to go, I shall go. Otherwise, I shall stay here.”

Swami went back to reading the letter. He then looked at me and nodded.

“Go and return soon.”

“Swami please give me prasadam (A devotional offering made to God that is later shared among devotees as a sign of Divine benediction. But in Swami’s case, it was vibhuti which seemed to be the deal-sealer for any question!)”, I said.

Swami nodded gently. Usually, when He did that, an attendant student would get the basket of vibhuti packets from the interview room from which Swami would give a few to the person seeking prasadam. The attendant student did not notice Swami nodding and so, I told him,

“Get vibhuti.”

He was shocked at me giving him an instruction. He looked at Swami who now smiled and told him to get the same. A few moments later, Swami was giving me 3 vibhuti packets and also a lovely padanamaskar. I had joy in my heart and in a few hours, was on my way to the Bangalore airport to catch my flight to Singapore.

Swami asking me how the trip to Singapore was on my return after 8 days. 

That was how my first ever overseas trip materialized with a very important lesson for me - desires are the root cause for fear. Be desireless; be fearless. That is the message of Swami’s Abhayahasta (literally translates into ‘the hand the confers fearlessness’) blessings. That is the blessing we must seek when Swami raises His hands to bless us:

“Lord, grant me fearlessness. Grant me desirelessness.”

And when we think deep, we will realize that we are asking for the same thing, twice!

If you enjoyed this, you will also enjoy the following:

1. The importance of being good. 

2. An amazing experience with Sathya Sai and the Suka Nadi.

3. The final Namaskar - the ultimate message. 

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