It is darkest before dawn: Sonja Venturi finds light and purpose in life_Part 2

A new ‘career’ for Sonja

Every life has a divine destiny to fulfill. The goal is pre-determined. It is only the paths that vary. There are numerous ways to climb to the peak of a mountain but the peak itself is one. The path that Sonja had to take to fulfill her divine destiny was that of music. She could feel it, not just in her bones, but deep within in the core of her heart. That also, was Swami’s gift to her.

She realized that she was being inspired from within to exude music. It was now time to channelise them into words and tunes.

Sonja continued visiting Prasanthi Nilayam, Puttaparthi as often as she could. After her ‘angels choir’ experience, her ear and heart began to get more and more attracted to bhajans. 

{This is the second part of story which will make better meaning and sense if you read it after reading the first part. If you have come here directly, you could visit the link below to read the first part.

It is darkest before dawn: Sonja Venturi finds light and purpose in life_Part 1 }

Though the tunes won her over, she struggled to grasp the words. Again, Swami came to her rescue gifting her a Bhajanavali (book of bhajan lyrics) through a friend. Now, Sonja could get some idea of the lyrics and sing along the bhajans. She really loved this way of praying and found it easy to connect with her Swami in this manner.

Once back in Italy, she did something she had never done before. She picked up a harmonium and began to play on it. She tried singing the bhajans she had heard in Prasanthi Nilayam. Having enjoyed the bhajans there so much, she attempted to create her own abode of peace in the confines of her home. Even as she put in efforts to sing bhajans, Swami gifted her with a second present!

While the first gift had been the music ‘processor’, the second gift was an ‘output device’. Without her knowledge and in a most miraculous manner, Sonja noticed that the voice emanating from her throat sounded so different from what it had been all her life! It was no longer her voice but a different one, perfectly suited to singing! Sonja was surprised and wondered what had happened. Was she dreaming?

A friend walked into the room and exclaimed,

“What a voice  that is!”

There was nobody else singing but Sonja.

“ Oh my God! How beautiful you sound!”

Such was the beauty in her voice that Sonja had no doubts that it was Swami. How else could someone with zero music-training and zero voice-culturing create music and sing so well?

Sonja now began to interpret, rearrange and shape various bhajans using the inspiration in her heart. The bhajans acquired the romantic hues of Italy - full of deep-seated passion, love and energy. Those bhajans became Sonja’s prayer, meditation and offering to Swami and her Krishna. By now, Sonja had become divinely obsessed with these two forms of Divinity - Swami and Krishna.  She would laugh and cry, playing the piano and singing. This would be her way to celebrate and her way to battle loneliness. She realized that every emotion and feeling that arose in her heart expressed itself through this music that Swami had gifted her. And every emotion - good or bad; happy or sad - got sanctified because it was offered to Swami.

Divine confirmation of the story so far

The blessing of music seemed to be building up for a crescendo as Sonja made a trip to Brindavan, Whitefield in Bengaluru. The Italian group was called into Trayee Brindavan for an interview.

Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 2

Look for Swami within

The first year of college life was wonderful for Balaramchandra (aka BRC) as he became a regular singer in the bhajan group. But, BRC also noticed that Swami did not seem to physically respond to him as regularly as He would to other students. All messages to him from Swami were delivered in a subtle manner and BRC had to be absolutely in tune with his inner Swami to get them. One place where many such messages were delivered was in Trayee Brindavan during the Trayee sessions. BRC had already received the message that he should develop an inner connect with Swami during an earlier Trayee session.

{This episode as well as many other incidents from BRC’s life have been detailed in the first part. In case you have not read it, please do read it before reading this second part. The first part is at the link below:

Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 1}

An year later, the time seemed ripe for yet another message. And again, it happened through another Trayee session or rather, the lack of it! Those were times when a Trayee session was considered a guaranteed event everyday at Brindavan. However, in BRC’s second year as an undergraduate, Swami did not call the students in for a Trayee session one day. The same thing repeated the next day. Now, all the students and teachers were worried. Why wasn’t Swami calling them for these most intimate and wonderful sessions.

“I have a bad cold”, Swami said. But all the teachers and students knew that it was something else also. A mere cold is not strong enough to keep Swami away from bestowing His warmth on His children!

Prayers and Sadhana intensified in the hostel. Academics and other activities took a back seat as the focus of everyone’s thoughts, words and deeds was on eliciting a positive response from Swami. The efforts were a success as Swami called for a Trayee session on the fourth day. When Swami arrived, He had a solemn look. He walked silently up to the jhoola (ornate swing) and sat on it. After a few moments, He asked,

“Swami came to Brindavan 3 days back. But He did not call you in. Do you know why?”

A few more moments of silence followed after which Swami Himself gave the answer,

“Swami is teaching you to look for Him within you...”

Whatever Swami said after that were a blur for BRC. That statement had hit his heart like an arrow would strike the bulls eye.  He knew that he would have to focus more on his internal Swami - his Antaranga Sai. Little wonder that the frequency of him singing that beautiful bhajan with the same lyrics kept  increasing.

This is a magical thing I have seen about whenever Sathya Sai speaks - each statement is meant for someone on whom it makes a profound impact and each statement has a different impact on different people! That gives us a clue as to how we can understand which part of Swami’s discourse we must follow and which is meant for the others! Further dilation on this present in the article entitled - Sathya Sai Speaks but who listens?

Tough situation or an opportunity to learn?

An year later, BRC graduated with a Bachelors degree in Commerce. He applied and enrolled for the MFM (Master of Financial Management) course at the Prasanthi Nilayam campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. No doubt he enjoyed a few interactions with Swami and got a few chances to go near Him. He also earned a nickname from Swami - ‘Parrot Voice’. His prayer was he should actually become Swami’s parrot, parroting all that He said and did! But then, like in Brindavan, a majority of his experiences with Swami were via the Antaranga pathway - the internal pathway. It was during his stint as a student in MFM that his understanding of the Antaranga Sai went up a few more notches.

The blessings of pain - Amey's experience with Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

The need to ‘love God’

It was during a session at the 39th Annual State Conference of the Sri Sathya Sai Seva Organization in Odisha that a young man got up and asked a question,

“How can we love and worship God when we are ourselves in such pain and need? Isn’t it true that we can focus properly on spirituality only if our needs are met and pains assuaged?”

Even as this question was asked, I began to ponder about it. It is so natural that this question arises. In fact, Swami Vivekananda is quoted to have said,

“Don’t teach spirituality to a hungry man.”

Roti, Kapada and Makaan (food, clothing and shelter) are recognised as the basic needs without which, one cannot think of one’s mental and emotional needs also. That is what the famous Maslow’s hierarchy of needs also states powerfully - that human beings are motivated by a hierarchy of needs. It is only when the needs that constitute the lower levels are satisfied that a person thinks about fulfilling higher level needs. This theory is represented by a pyramid as shown below.

Maslow's hierarchical pyramid of needs.

Physiological needs are the physical requirements for human survival which include food, water, clothing and shelter. Safety and Security needs include personal security, financial security, health security and a safety net against accidents. Love and Belonging needs are covered in belonging to some societal group, a family; having friendships and intimacy.  Esteem needs present the typical human desire to be accepted and valued by others. It is only when all these four are met and achieved that a person contemplates self-actualization, which is defined as achieving one’s full potential. Different individuals perceive this fifth need differently and it can get expressed as professional excellence, being a perfect parent, artistic magnificence and so on.

With that in mind, we get back to the question,

““How can we love and worship God when we are ourselves in such pain and need? Isn’t it true that we can focus properly on spirituality only if our needs are met and pains assuaged?”

If we delve a little deeper, we realize that loving God, as a need, works in a way more mysterious and subtle that all the five needs mentioned by Maslow. And to make that clear, it would be apt to narrate a life-experience of Amey Deshpande. Amey is not a person needing introduction to a regular reader here. He is a dear Sai-brother of mine, who has been involved in several of my experiences with Swami (Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba) including the one in which Swami accepted me as His best friend. I have earlier penned down how he took a step towards Swami and was blessed with a beautiful assurance. I have also written about his most painful experience when he got thrown out of Swami’s school - a case of things having to go horribly wrong before being set aright. In the same vein, here is another educative experience of his.

An ‘ill-fated’ Sunday-morning bhajan session

After losing his seat in Swami’s school in 8th grade, Amey had tried hard to get back into the school in 11th grade. Since that had not happened, he had tried getting admitted into the BCom course at the University. That too had not happened. So, he enrolled in the Sheshadripuram College at Bengaluru (Bangalore then) and graduating in honours with a BCom degree, Amey got employed at Hewlett-Packard. He also became a Seva Dal volunteer at Brindavan, Whitefield. He has been blessed with a wonderful voice and it is not surprising that he soon became a lead bhajan-singer there. Every Thursday and Sunday, when the Bangalore Seva Dal got the opportunity to lead bhajans, Amey was in the forefront.

He who humbles himself will be exalted - the experience of T.V.Hariharan

Life with God is an endless hope

Mr. T.V.Hariharan playing his very 'special' violin.
After the life-defining episode, he plays it only in
the privacy of his home during Vijayadashami.

It was summer in the city of Bangalore in 1979 (when it had not yet turned to Bengaluru). While the heart of the city sweated and toiled along its daily grind, it was cool and calm at its outskirts. The Whitefield ashram of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba was enjoying a cool respite from the blazing sun via the Summer Showers at Brindavan. The Summer Showers programme was also called the Summer Course wherein Baba would interact with hundreds of students from around the world, enlightening them on the proper way to lead a life that is moral, ethical, spiritual and practical. (The Summer Course which started as an annual programme in 1972  was the precursor to the more formal ‘Summer Course in Indian Culture and Spirituality’ which was restricted only to the students of the SSSIHL from 1990 onwards.) Although hundreds of students got the opportunity to participate in the Summer Course, there were hundreds of others who wished that they could participate. In the latter category was a lad in his late teens, T.V.Hariharan.

Hariharan was serving as a volunteer in the canteen which catered to the needs of all the devotees who gathered at Brindavan to seek Baba’s blessings. As the Summer Course progressed, he noticed that his craving to become a ‘Sai Student’ was getting stronger and stronger. There was something special about being a student under Swami’s direct care and Hariharan wanted to experience that firsthand.  Driven desperate by the desire, he approached the staff at the office of the college at Brindavan, seeking admission. That was when he discovered the peculiar condition which prevented him from joining the college there.

Hariharan had completed Grade XII in a school in the state of Tamil Nadu. The Educational System in India then had not yet been standardised. And so, while the state of Tamil Nadu followed a ‘11+1 years’ pattern of schooling, the state of Karnataka followed a ‘10+2 years’ pattern. That was causing the trouble and it disqualified Hariharan from getting a seat in the Bangalore college.

“But don’t they add up to the same thing, 11+1 and 10+2?” questioned Hariharan rhetorically.

He learnt the truth via this apparently trivial mathematical question that the means towards an end are equally important as the end itself. So, it seemed as if he was was not destined to become a student in Swami’s college. He resigned to his fate and decided to enjoy the last day of the Summer Course. And then, it happened. Swami, at the end of the discourse, made a revelation, (the gist is given here)

“Today, I have some good news to share. We have decided to start a new college in Puttaparthi. Those desirous of joining there may apply for the same.”

Hariharan jumped in his seat. Just when things had seemed bleak and fate appeared all-powerful, Swami had given him hope. Life with God is definitely an endless hope while life without is a hopeless end!  

A young Hariharan with his Swami.

Facing the all-important interview

The application had been submitted and the interview-call telegram had arrived. ( In a few years, I am sure that I will have to explain to some readers what telegraphy and telegram is all about!)

Hariharan travelled to Puttaparthi with his father via Penukonda. Unlike the developed town of today, Puttaparthi then did not have any amenities. Though there is an entire road (the Vidyagiri Road) of educational institutions today, there was only the Easwaramma Primary School building then (which had been erected in 1975). Hariharan and his father joined the crowd of devotees that had gathered for darshan. Swami picked them for an interview.