Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 2

Look for Swami within

The first year of college life was wonderful for Balaramchandra (aka BRC) as he became a regular singer in the bhajan group. But, BRC also noticed that Swami did not seem to physically respond to him as regularly as He would to other students. All messages to him from Swami were delivered in a subtle manner and BRC had to be absolutely in tune with his inner Swami to get them. One place where many such messages were delivered was in Trayee Brindavan during the Trayee sessions. BRC had already received the message that he should develop an inner connect with Swami during an earlier Trayee session.

{This episode as well as many other incidents from BRC’s life have been detailed in the first part. In case you have not read it, please do read it before reading this second part. The first part is at the link below:

Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 1}

An year later, the time seemed ripe for yet another message. And again, it happened through another Trayee session or rather, the lack of it! Those were times when a Trayee session was considered a guaranteed event everyday at Brindavan. However, in BRC’s second year as an undergraduate, Swami did not call the students in for a Trayee session one day. The same thing repeated the next day. Now, all the students and teachers were worried. Why wasn’t Swami calling them for these most intimate and wonderful sessions.

“I have a bad cold”, Swami said. But all the teachers and students knew that it was something else also. A mere cold is not strong enough to keep Swami away from bestowing His warmth on His children!

Prayers and Sadhana intensified in the hostel. Academics and other activities took a back seat as the focus of everyone’s thoughts, words and deeds was on eliciting a positive response from Swami. The efforts were a success as Swami called for a Trayee session on the fourth day. When Swami arrived, He had a solemn look. He walked silently up to the jhoola (ornate swing) and sat on it. After a few moments, He asked,

“Swami came to Brindavan 3 days back. But He did not call you in. Do you know why?”

A few more moments of silence followed after which Swami Himself gave the answer,

“Swami is teaching you to look for Him within you...”

Whatever Swami said after that were a blur for BRC. That statement had hit his heart like an arrow would strike the bulls eye.  He knew that he would have to focus more on his internal Swami - his Antaranga Sai. Little wonder that the frequency of him singing that beautiful bhajan with the same lyrics kept  increasing.

This is a magical thing I have seen about whenever Sathya Sai speaks - each statement is meant for someone on whom it makes a profound impact and each statement has a different impact on different people! That gives us a clue as to how we can understand which part of Swami’s discourse we must follow and which is meant for the others! Further dilation on this present in the article entitled - Sathya Sai Speaks but who listens?

Tough situation or an opportunity to learn?

An year later, BRC graduated with a Bachelors degree in Commerce. He applied and enrolled for the MFM (Master of Financial Management) course at the Prasanthi Nilayam campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. No doubt he enjoyed a few interactions with Swami and got a few chances to go near Him. He also earned a nickname from Swami - ‘Parrot Voice’. His prayer was he should actually become Swami’s parrot, parroting all that He said and did! But then, like in Brindavan, a majority of his experiences with Swami were via the Antaranga pathway - the internal pathway. It was during his stint as a student in MFM that his understanding of the Antaranga Sai went up a few more notches.

Always have a direct connection to God - Nikhil Koushik learns his lessons from Baba _Part 2

God sees only the efforts

Nikhil dialled his mother and sought her advice,

“Mother, Swami tells me that I need to do my sadhana before I can sing in His presence. Could you tell me what sadhana you did? What did aunt do... what did granny do?”

The mother was both surprised and happy at her son’s question. She replied,

“My child, I really don’t know what sadhana I have done. It has just been Swami’s love and grace...”

Nikhil already knew that this would be the answer. Every true devotee of the Lord credited Him for everything. She never claimed to have done anything special for she felt that it was Swami alone who is all special.

“Yes mother! Swami’s love and grace is infinite indeed... But... there must be something that you people did right. Tell me what you would do when you were not in Swami’s presence?”

“Your granny and aunt had deep love for Swami. From that sprung a commitment to put in daily efforts. They are talented of course but their efforts were so relentless that Swami would have been pleased with them even without their skill!”

{This is the concluding part of a story which will definitely make better sense and grant more joy if read after the first part. The first part is located at the link below:

Always have a direct connection to God - Nikhil Koushik learns his lessons from Baba _Part 1 }

Nikhil had his answer with crystal clarity. It was not as if some sadhana was better than the other. What mattered to Swami was sincere effort alone. That was probably the reason why it everyone is said to be equal in the eyes of God - because everyone is equally capable of putting in 100% efforts though their capabilities to produce results vary. Since God did not judge based on results but only based on efforts, each one has the equal capability to please God.

"If you look to me, I look to you."
Look at this beautiful picture. Do you think that there is a need for any intermediary between the devotee and God? Why don't
we strive for that direct connection? Why do we always want shortcuts? All it needs is effort

“Thank you mother. You are wonderful... Sairam.”, Nikhil said before putting down the phone. Now, he knew what he had to do - put in efforts, in whatever way he could.

The next morning, Nikhil was up and ready by 4:30am. Armed with a harmonium in the music room of the hostel, he began to practice chanting the Aumkaar (the ‘Om’ chant). He practiced till 5 am after which he went to attend the Suprabhatam. This effort did not remain as a one-day wonder. It became part of his daily schedule. He also put in supreme efforts to swallow his pride and ego. As suggested by Shailesh sir, he approached other singers in the bhajan group and sought their help to improve his singing. Having put in these efforts, he left the results to Swami and just prayed for an opportunity.

Within a week, Nikhil got that opportunity. With all love and humility, he sang a simple bhajan in the presence of the in-charges. What Shailesh sir told him that day has remained etched in his heart.

“What have you done? You have transformed completely the way you sing. You are fading out the ending of each line in the bhajan so perfectly. I suggest that you teach the exercises you have done to some of the other aspiring singers. I am sure they will benefit a lot from it.”

“Thank you sir... So... I can try singing in the mandir?”

“Yes, you can. Seek permission from Swami before that.”

A couple of days later, Swami called Nikhil to take his letter in the bhajan hall. As he handed the letter to Him, Nikhil sought permission to sing in His presence. Swami nodded with a smile and wholeheartedly permitted him. Nikhil’s joy knew no bounds. He knew his efforts had paid off.

Pride and Ego - not easy f(r)iends to subdue

That was how Nikhil achieved his dream of becoming a mandir singer - a dream that he had once taken so much for granted that it had almost turned into a nightmare. Reaching the top is one thing; staying there is a totally different game. While reaching the top requires intensity of effort, staying there needs persistence in the same efforts. While Nikhil had passed the test of intensity, it was probably the time for the test of his persistence.