Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 2

Look for Swami within

The first year of college life was wonderful for Balaramchandra (aka BRC) as he became a regular singer in the bhajan group. But, BRC also noticed that Swami did not seem to physically respond to him as regularly as He would to other students. All messages to him from Swami were delivered in a subtle manner and BRC had to be absolutely in tune with his inner Swami to get them. One place where many such messages were delivered was in Trayee Brindavan during the Trayee sessions. BRC had already received the message that he should develop an inner connect with Swami during an earlier Trayee session.

{This episode as well as many other incidents from BRC’s life have been detailed in the first part. In case you have not read it, please do read it before reading this second part. The first part is at the link below:

Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 1}

An year later, the time seemed ripe for yet another message. And again, it happened through another Trayee session or rather, the lack of it! Those were times when a Trayee session was considered a guaranteed event everyday at Brindavan. However, in BRC’s second year as an undergraduate, Swami did not call the students in for a Trayee session one day. The same thing repeated the next day. Now, all the students and teachers were worried. Why wasn’t Swami calling them for these most intimate and wonderful sessions.

“I have a bad cold”, Swami said. But all the teachers and students knew that it was something else also. A mere cold is not strong enough to keep Swami away from bestowing His warmth on His children!

Prayers and Sadhana intensified in the hostel. Academics and other activities took a back seat as the focus of everyone’s thoughts, words and deeds was on eliciting a positive response from Swami. The efforts were a success as Swami called for a Trayee session on the fourth day. When Swami arrived, He had a solemn look. He walked silently up to the jhoola (ornate swing) and sat on it. After a few moments, He asked,

“Swami came to Brindavan 3 days back. But He did not call you in. Do you know why?”

A few more moments of silence followed after which Swami Himself gave the answer,

“Swami is teaching you to look for Him within you...”

Whatever Swami said after that were a blur for BRC. That statement had hit his heart like an arrow would strike the bulls eye.  He knew that he would have to focus more on his internal Swami - his Antaranga Sai. Little wonder that the frequency of him singing that beautiful bhajan with the same lyrics kept  increasing.

This is a magical thing I have seen about whenever Sathya Sai speaks - each statement is meant for someone on whom it makes a profound impact and each statement has a different impact on different people! That gives us a clue as to how we can understand which part of Swami’s discourse we must follow and which is meant for the others! Further dilation on this present in the article entitled - Sathya Sai Speaks but who listens?

Tough situation or an opportunity to learn?

An year later, BRC graduated with a Bachelors degree in Commerce. He applied and enrolled for the MFM (Master of Financial Management) course at the Prasanthi Nilayam campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. No doubt he enjoyed a few interactions with Swami and got a few chances to go near Him. He also earned a nickname from Swami - ‘Parrot Voice’. His prayer was he should actually become Swami’s parrot, parroting all that He said and did! But then, like in Brindavan, a majority of his experiences with Swami were via the Antaranga pathway - the internal pathway. It was during his stint as a student in MFM that his understanding of the Antaranga Sai went up a few more notches.

Antaranga Sai - The innermost experiences of Sai student Balaramchandra_Part 1

BRC with his beloved Swami in a rare picture. BRC does not have many
pictures with Swami and reading on will tell you why...

It was a teacher of self-defence who re-introduced a young Balaramchandra (pronounced as Baala Ramachandra) to the greatest protection of his life. As a 15-year old lad, Balaramchandra (aka BRC) joined his cousins to learn Karate from a tutor who visited his joint-family home. Though the tutor took classes for only 4 days, he taught BRC (and all his cousins) about a personality that went by the name of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. He also took them all to the Sathya Sai Samithi in Thrissur and that was where BRC re-discovered the ‘Swami’ he had been introduced to as a child.

Though BRC’s grandfather, uncle and parents were devotees of this Swami, BRC had never given any special attention to Him. His was a family that had dedicated itself from several generations to Lord Sri Rama. That was why all the male members in the family - his grandfather, father, uncles, brothers - including himself had ‘Rama’ as a part of their names. When BRC was told that Swami was an Avatar, an incarnation of God, his first reaction was awe.

“I could never see Rama. How rare and wonderful it is that I have come to know of a living God!”

His second reaction could possibly be attributed to his Karma of several births because, for BRC, it was instant faith and love for this fuzzy-haired, orange-robed, moon-faced Baba. Soon, he came to know that Swami had started education institutions and he could avail the opportunity to become His student. Though it was the middle of the academic year, he tried to apply for a high-school admission. All he received was a letter of regret from the school saying that he could not be admitted in the middle.

BRC then studied with all determination and came out with flying colours in the nationwide Board Exams. He applied for the Bachelors in Commerce degree in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning and got selected as a candidate for the course in the Brindavan campus of the University. It was the beginning of his life as a Sai Student and it was going to teach him some lessons for life!

Wrong assumptions

BRC joined the college in 1994 and the year turned out to be fortuitous for his batch. It was precisely at this time that the Sai Kulwant hall was being built at Prasanthi Nilayam, Puttaparthi, and so, Swami was at Brindavan for more than 6 months at a stretch. BRC was thrilled at this stroke of luck and he decided to utilize this opportunity to its fullest extent.

Like many of the students who join Swami’s educational institutions, BRC too had taken some things for granted. Foremost among these was the assumption that Swami talks with all the students everyday! A second thing he had assumed was that it would be all peace and comfort once he got admission because Swami was a mother, father, friend and master rolled into one. The third assumption he made was that he would start singing in front of Swami immediately. This confidence was based on the fact that BRC had a wonderful voice and was also a fine talent in music.

Very soon, BRC realised that he had been mistaken on all counts!

The three lessons to keep in mind about singing bhajans

Setting for an important message

Madh Bhaktaha Yatra Gayanthi, Tatra Tishtami Narada.

(“Wherever my devotees sing, I present myself there Narada”)

The Lord presents Himself wherever His glory is sung. 

This is the beautiful assurance that God in the form of Lord Vishnu conveyed to the devotee in the form of sage Narada when asked,

“Lord, what is your permanent address?”

My sweet Lord, Bhagawan Sri  Sathya Sai Baba, has taken that statement several notches higher in intensity by stating,

Madh Bhaktaha Yatra Gayanthi, Tatra Sthapayami.

(“Wherever my devotees sing, I install myself there!”)

There is definitely many things magical about singing for the Lord, the most prominent one being that the Lord Himself (Herself/Itself) seems to look forward for the same! And it is in this context that I vividly recall a conversation with Swami that happened on the day of the Ganesha immersion festival in Prasanthi Nilayam in 2009. It was just a brief interaction and an apparently casual conversation. But as with all interactions with the Lord, it has so much to offer to us especially with regards to singing for the Lord. Just keeping it in our heart and contemplating on it over and over again will reveal fresh and multiple insights.

The students’ hostels at Prasanthi Nilayam had got transformed into hives of buzzing activity as all of them were busy putting finishing touches to their respective chariots and palanquins. They had been working for the past couple of days on creating these vehicles which would be used to carry the Ganesha idols for immersion at the end of the Ganesha Chaturthi celebrations.

A sample of 4 among the two dozen or so chariots and palanquins that lined up in the Sai Kulwant hall that day. 

It was sheer joy for me to go around on my new TVS bike taking photos of all these chariots and palanquins. Having covered the procession as it made its way towards the mandir, I rushed to Sai Kulwant hall just before Swami arrived for darshan. It was about 5pm.  He was received at Yajur Mandir by a procession of little Ganeshas from the Primary school and the Vedam group with the Poornakumbham. Swami entered the Sai Kulwant Hall and moved past the magnificent array of chariots. He blessed them and the 'makers' too with His benediction and smiles. Many brought forward plates with prasadam and fruits which Swami blessed. It took about 20 minutes for Swami to move past all the chariots and arrive on stage.

God grants everything but should never be taken for granted - Amey's experience with his Swami_ Part 2

Flashback... Nostalgia... Beautiful memories...

There come times in life when one is unable to comprehend what more can one do. It was one such time in Amey’s life. Nearly a month had passed since that day when Swami had made the children from the Primary School sing bhajans and more than forty days had passed since he had sung in the Divine Presence. He had been practicing bhajan singing and he had been praying for the opportunity to sing in Swami’s presence. What more could he do? Situations like these, when the flow seems to be at its lowest ebb make one feel helpless. But there is a silver lining even in such dark clouds and that is the consolation that things cannot get any more worse.

Consoling himself that things could only get brighter and better from that point on, Amey went through the daily routine of attending college and presenting himself in the bhajan group in the mandir. Several days passed like this.

(This is actually the second part of a very gripping story. To enjoy it completely, it is recommended that you read Part 1 at the link below and then return here:

God grants everything but should never be taken for granted - Amey's experience with his Swami_ Part 1 )

One evening, as he began to practice a bhajan in his favourite Raaga, Sindhubhairavi, his mind wandered into memory lane, filling him with nostalgia...

********************

Amey had always been associated with bhajans in Swami's presence. Even as a Primary School kid, he used to play
the tabla, sitting right in the front. 

It had been a cloudy day in Bangalore. The sky grew dark and the afternoon seemed to have donned the robes of twilight. There was an outburst as the heavens opened up and poured water by the tonnes. Amey rushed along with the other Seva Dal members to roll up the carpets that had been spread to cushion the lotus feet of Swami as He walked from Trayee Brindavan to the Sai Ramesh Hall before darshan. In a matter of minutes, it was all rolled up and secure. Ten minutes later, the rains stopped. Once again, everyone plunged into action, rolling out the carpets. A few volunteers picked up brooms and swept away the fallen leaves and twigs. Few others washed off the mud along the path.

Amey too joined the others in readying for Swami's arrival. Then, he brushed away the dirt from himself and straightened out the sleeves of his shirt. He set his hair back in order and got ready to receive Swami. In a few minutes, the doors of Trayee Brindavan opened and out glided the Bhaktajanaposhaka, the Lord of the Universe who is the sustainer of His devotees. As Swami came near the back door of the Sai Ramesh Hall stage, Amey stood in attention, folding his hands.

Swami came near him and stopped. He seemed to be keenly observing something on the floor. Amey followed His gaze and was shocked that He was actually looking at his feet. The devotee gazes at the Lord’s feet. Here was a case in reverse! As Amey looked down at his own feet, he could see that they were dark brown and black from the slush. If only he would have washed his feet like the others...

Swami then looked at him in the eye and made an expression of disappointment. He then gently lifted His robe to reveal His tender and sparklingly clean feet. Amey almost bit his tongue as he realized his mistake. Swami walked on and went for darshan. Immediately Amey rushed to the nearby tap and washed his feet and hands thoroughly. On His return after the darshan, Swami paused once again at Amey. He looked at his feet and then into his eyes. He granted him a beautiful smile and nodded to indicate that He was happy...

*************************

PART 2_Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - the love story of Vijaya Sunder with his Swami

First trip to Puttaparthi

Vijay informed his parents about the chance he had got to go to Puttaparthi and be part of a drama to be staged there. They were happy. The past few years had seemed to really improve their son and his positive outlook towards Swami delighted them.

Vijay performed his role behind the scenes to the best of his ability and sincerity. As instructed, he made sure that he did not peep to get a darshan of Swami during the drama and, when the time came, he showered ‘Adi Sankaracharya’ with gold. When the drama concluded, Swami moved down the dais, amidst the children. He blessed all the actors with clothes. He also materialized vibhuti for some of the actors. Having done this, as He sat on the stage, the supreme Lord of the Universe seemed unsatisfied! He is never satisfied when it comes to giving.

He said something to the attendant boy by his side. A tray was brought from within and Swami beckoned to the actors. He handed over a wristwatch to each and every one of them. The line of actors ended but not Swami’s enthusiasm to give. He looked beyond, at the sets’ boys seated behind. Sathya Sai is a silent worker - always acting behind the scenes and giving credit to others. He definitely knows what it is to be a background worker! He beckoned to the sets’ boys too and Vijay was one among the first few to go to Him.

Swami blessing Vijay with gold chain that He materialised with a wave of His hand. This was in 2008. 

(This is the second part of an interesting story. You will get maximum joy by reading it in the proper chronology. In case you have missed it, read the first part at the link below before returning to this part.

Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - the love story of Vijaya Sunder with his Swami_Part 1)

Vijay knelt before Swami. It was for the first time in his life that he was seeing Swami from such close quarters. Swami held out a wristwatch for him. But Vijay’s attention was not on the watch. He was drinking deep into the fountain of beauty that Swami is. That momentary experience was enough to make Vijay desire madly for a seat in Swami’s college. He remembered Shyam’s words that one got admission in Swami’s college only when He wills. So, he told Swami,

“Please give me admission in your college. I want a seat.”

“Ok. Take”, said Swami, handing him the watch.

Vijay did not understand whether Swami was asking him to ‘take’ the watch or the seat. He did not know then that Swami has the ability to bless two birds with the same stone! He felt that Swami wanted to get ‘rid’ of his pestering presence. He took the watch and walked back to his place.

Thus concluded the Parthi trip which triggered an insatiable thirst in Vijay to become a student of Swami.

PART 1_Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - the love story of Vijaya Sunder with his Swami

An introductory chapter on the Divine Romance

The Indian summer in 2003 was coming to an end  and giving way to a cool spring. But that made no difference to the sultry climate in the city of Chennai in South India. With the sea breeze plucking the beads of perspiration off his face, Vijaya Sunder ran towards his home. His calf muscles ached from the strain of running and his lungs huffed and puffed with exertion.  But he had a broad smile plastered on his face. The results of the state level (Tamil Nadu) grade XII exam had been declared and Vijay had performed exceedingly well. In fact, he had obtained the perfect result, a centum, in his favourite subjects - Physics and Chemistry. He was convinced that he had moved a step closer towards achieving his dream of becoming an engineer.

“Mom! Dad! Look. I am the state-topper in Chemistry and Physics...” screamed Vijay as he entered the home.

“Ah! Praise be to the Lord”, exclaimed the mother as she rushed out from her morning worship to hug her son.

“C’mon Mom! I wrote the exams and you give credit to your God!” Vijay couldn’t suppress the smile as he said that.

“Whatever you may say. Everything happens because of God.”

Yet another story of divine romance  between the Lord and Vijaya Sunder.

Vijay did not say anything to his mother. She was firmly entrenched in her devotion to god. In spite of the tough life she had lead so far, she found things to thank god for. But Vijay was not interested or bothered about god. He just didn’t want to be bothered by him or her or it - whatever God was. His philosophy was very simple - hard work fetches its rewards while the lack of it results in disappointment. He had worked really hard for his academic excellence and it was only natural that his results reflected that.

Vijay now showed the results to his father who did not say a thing. The tears in his eyes said everything - he was proud, happy and grateful. Vijay’s chest swelled in pride.

“Dad! I want to study in the best of engineering colleges and my marks will ensure a ‘merit’ seat for me.”
“Yes my son!” agreed the father and embraced Vijay. He would get ready now to withdraw the special savings he had made for precisely this purpose.

Like anywhere else in the world, to get into the top notch colleges, one either had to be rich in the intelligence department or had to be the child of a parent rich in the finance department. Finances had always been hard to come by for Vijay’s family. Vijay had been a late-born and his father had retired as a cartoonist at the Indian Express when he was barely 11 years old. On retirement, he had got about 4 lakh rupees (about $10,000 then) as his lifetime savings from the Provident Fund. That had been invested into two separate Chit funds, which are basically microfinance organizations. The interest amount was being used to pay Vijay’s fees and the father hoped to use th principal amount to pay for Vijay’s higher studies. The fees for the 4 years of engineering would be as low as ₹1.8 lakhs now since Vijay had secured a ‘merit’ seat. (A seat by ‘Management quota’ had to be bought for about ₹7 lakhs!) This was better than what Vijay’s father had bargained for.

A God-shattering experience

It was Vijay’s father who received the shock first. Chit funds operate in different ways, and there are also many fraudulent tactics practiced by private firms. The basic necessity of conducting a 'Chitty' is a group needy people called subscribers. The foreman—the company or person conducting the chitty—brings these people together and conducts the chitty. He is also the one who has the ‘power’ to commit fraud.

Kumar wins the greatest gift of life from Sri Sathya Sai_Part 2

The bhajan that he could never forget

The bhajan that Kumar had chosen to sing was full of pathos and meaning. It called out to Swami as one’s everything - mother, father, Guru, friend, sibling. It also addressed Him as the Vedas, Upanishads and the Geeta of life. It was a bhajan of complete surrender to Him. Since Kumar had completely been shattered by the tragedy that was happening meters away from where he was singing, he was almost sobbing as he sang. It had taken superhuman effort to sing that day. In fact, such was his emotional turmoil that he sang the first line of the bhajan - Sai Pita aur Mata Sai - twice. He sought some response and solace from Swami but all he had got was to see his Lord turn His face on him, looking outside the hall. Even as he sang, he prayed to Swami within,

“Swami, even in this hour of need, you are not setting aside the cold treatment! You are deserting me and going away from me. who do I turn to now? You don’t even want to hear what I want to say. Have I become so unwanted?”

(Dear reader, if you are reading directly from here, let me assure you that you have missed quite a lot of the story. Please come back to this after reading the first part which is at the link given below:

Kumar wins the greatest gift of life from Sri Sathya Sai_Part 1 )

Soon, Kumar completed his bhajan and the rest of the session went on. It was almost after 5 bhajans that Swami returned after His bonus darshan round. Would there be some compassion for Kumar at least now? He recalls his feelings at that moment.

Swami walked into the bhajan hall, took his seat on the throne. He continued looking outside and enjoying the bhajans like everything was fine. After the 6th bhajan, he got up to receive Arati. Forget talking to me, He did not even glance at me. He simply received Arati and walked out of the bhajan hall, back to his residence. I was totally devastated. I considered it as my worst fate and walked out of the bhajan hall. I wanted to rush home and hoped that Amma would be alive.

Yet another shock

As Kumar exited the bhajan hall and rushed towards EA1, scores of students and teachers walked up to him and patted him on his back saying,

“Blessed you...”

“You are lucky...”

“You are Swami’s very own...”

Kumar was wondering what that all meant. Even the warden walked to him and gave him a gentle pat. Not able to comprehend what was happening, Kumar sprinted towards his house.

Playing the harmonium for Sai's bhajans - student S.V.Satheesh's experiences_ PART 2

When the Divine Mother opens doors...

It was with a heart full of fear of losing something very valuable that Satheesh landed in Brindavan after completing his M.Tech exams. In the meanwhile, Swami had initiated the exercise of preparation for the annual Convocation drama, guiding a few select teachers and students.

That year, Swami had insisted on having the Burrakatha as part of the drama. (Since then, Burrakatha has flourished as another art form among the students. In fact, for a few students, Burrakatha has been the experience of their lives!) So, apart from the main cast for the drama, three singers too had been chosen. These actors and singers would be called into Trayee Brindavan, Bhagawan’s residence in Brindavan, daily for practise sessions. Though the Burrakatha had three main singers, it required a host of others to act as the supporting-music team. And Satheesh was part of that team.

(If you have come straight to this article, it is highly recommended that you read the first part of this story before proceeding ahead. the first part is located at the below link:

Playing the harmonium for Sai's bhajans - S.V.Satheesh's experiences Part 1 )

“One evening, after the actors were called inside Trayee, we were waiting and praying outside. After sometime the singers were called in. I was waiting near the trees. As I was looking at Trayee, I remembered Swami's words to a Sri Atal Behari Vajpayee in Trayee,

"This is your home, your Mother's home; you can come here anytime.”

Tears filled my eyes as I realised that after a few months I may not even be able to step into these hallowed Trayee grounds once I pass out of Swami's college. Would these be my last few days? Would I never get a chance to enter my Divine Mother's home again? Within moments, I was fighting to hold back my tears.”

“Knock and it shall be opened unto you” is a popular biblical verse. It appears that it is best to ‘knock’ through tears of love and pining because even as Satheesh was battling his tears, the twin doors of Trayee Brindavan were throw open. The teacher who walked out beckoned to Satheesh and Sharath, a student of grade XII who played the tambourine, to enter. Swami, who till date, heard the Burrakatha songs with just the pocket-keyboard accompaniment of Sailesh sir (the music group in charge), had today asked for the harmonium and tambourine accompaniments! Ah what divine mercy! Satheesh rushed in along with Sharath. Both were right in realizing that it was just Swami’s grace that was getting them this opportunity. But they had not imagined the extent of that grace.