Showing posts with label summer vacations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label summer vacations. Show all posts

Wednesday 24 September 2014

God is content with one's good intent - Sairam's experiences with Sri Sathya Sai - Part 2

God always bestows more than what one needs


The experiences of Sairam with Chayee are so amazing and absorbing that they will be part of a separate story as promised. However, this much can be said here that Sairam indeed made Swami happy with his dedication and, in return, Swami blessed Sairam amply with grace. In fact, one such blessing from Swami taught Sairam an unforgettable lesson.

Swami and all the Chayee boys with Chayee Koh Seng in Chayee's room. Chayee is the person in blue shirt.
Sairam is kneeling to the extreme left in the picture with his hands folded in prostration. 

Pleased with the three ‘Chayee boys’ (as they were called), Swami called them in for a mini interview. He gifted all of them with white Safari suit cloth.
“Here”, He said to the two other boys, “you have big frames and hence you will need 3 meters of cloth each.”
The two boys gratefully received the divine gift and took padanamaskar. When it was Sairam’s turn to receive the cloth, Swami smiled mischievously and gave him a shorter cloth,
“For you, 2.5 meters are sufficient...”


Sairam then bent down to take padanamaskar but he was slightly disappointed. Why did Swami give him less cloth? He was smaller in frame than the other two boys but he wasn’t that small either. Anyway, there was nothing else he could do and so, he received the cloth gratefully. On returning to the hostel, he devised a plan. During the vacation, he would purchase a matching cloth that was necessary to get him a safari suit and then get it stitched. Happy with how he had solved the problem of cloth-scarcity that Swami had created, he slept at night.


The next day, Swami summoned the three boys again. Giving them money, Swami said,
“I want you three to stitch safari suits and wear them tomorrow...”
While the other two boys rejoiced at this bounty and blessing, Sairam was slightly worried. Would he actually be able to stitch a safari suit with the smaller cloth that Swami had given him? Nevertheless, the three of them went to the tailor.


“We need a safari suit each, stitched and ready to wear for tomorrow. Will you be able to do it?”, they asked the tailor.
“ If that is what Swami wants, it shall be done”, he said and took their measurements. Sairam kept a watch on the measurements and noted that he was not much less than the other two in these ‘figures’. He did not tell the tailor about the lesser cloth he had received. The three of them submitted their cloth pieces and left.


(This is Part 2 of an ongoing story. If you haven't red part 1, it is highly recommended that you do so before returning to read the concluding part here.
God is content with one's good intent - Sairam's experiences with Sri Sathya Sai - Part 1 )

The stitching was completed overnight and the next day afternoon, the three were at the shop. The tailor looked at Sairam and began,
“There was a little problem in the cloth quantity sir.”
“I thought so... the safari suit is not ready then?”
“Nothing like that sir... The cloth from the other two boys was little less and I did not know how to complete trousers for them. Thankfully, there was extra cloth in your piece. I borrowed from it and completed theirs too. Hope you don’t mind...”
Sairam was baffled to say the least.
“And, what about my suit? Will you stitch the trouser later?”
“No no sir! Your suit is ready. Its just that there was extra cloth which I used for these two boys. Please don’t mind...”

Wednesday 16 October 2013

When one is made to move away from God to get closer to God...

From the frying pan into the fire
The last photo which Amey received before he was thrown out of school.

It was the conviction of Amey’s parents that whatever happens, one must not let go of the feet of the Lord.
“Even if the Lord kicks you, do not let go of His feet.”
That was their guiding motto and so, even though the rejection letter had reached them, they decided to do the only thing that they knew – rush to Puttaparthi for succor. It was the June of 1993 and due to certain happenings, the place reserved for the alumni of the Sathya Sai Educational Institutions was taken away and the seating privileges of the alumni were revoked. This was precisely the blow that Amey did not want at this time because he was desperate to gain some physical access to his dear Swami and tell Him about the misfortune that had struck him.

( This is actually part 2 of a riveting story. If you have come here directly, please visit the first part and then continue reading: Sometimes things go horribly wrong before going right. )

Within a day of Amey and his parents arriving at Puttaparthi, Swami left for Brindavan.  The trio followed him to the Bangalore Ashram but the same ‘seating rules’ prevailed there too and there was nothing much that Amey could do. He cried bitterly when his father inevitably informed him that it was time to head back home and enroll in a school before it gets too late. The prospects of having to face the many devotees back home who looked up to him and having to answer their queries terrified him even more. He only cried and cried more. A little respite came from the fact that his father too got a transfer from Bahrain to Abu Dhabi. At least, he would be spared of the uncomfortable questions.

Thus life went on, dragged on drearily in fact. Instead of being a special student at Swami’s school, Amey had become one among many in just another school. He now got very angry and that ire was directed on all the teachers who had ‘complained’ against him to Swami. How could he be said to have ‘unwanted connections’ and be a person of ‘too much talk’? And what was the meaning of him being ‘medically unfit’? Had not everyone seen how Swami had made him the apple of His eyes when he had to undergo the appendicitis operation? What could have been the malicious intent behind anybody wanting to chuck him out of what he considered as his whole life? These questions rankled him and along with the anger in his heart, tears brimmed in his eyes on a regular basis.

When, after two years, he applied for admission into XI grade, he again received a rejection letter. The parents were ‘advised’ not to bring their ward for admission in Puttaparthi. Suddenly, it dawned on Amey that because of the charges levelled against him, he might never ever get admission into Swami’s institutions again! That wrenched his heart and sank his spirits. He applied again for the degree in Bachelors of Commerce. Since he was a NRI (non-resident Indian), the ruled did not permit him to get admitted. So, it was disappointment again.

Some respite finally!

Amey joined the Seshadripuram college in Bangalore (Bengaluru now) and completed his degree in commerce. Following that, he took up a job in the same city. Alongside this professional progress also came the much-needed respite in terms of his relationship with Swami. Amey became part of the Brindavan Bhajan Group and, thus, every Thursday and Sunday when Swami was in Brindavan, he would get the coveted chance of sitting in the first row and singing for his Lord. Slowly but surely, Swami began to speak with him. Amey now began entertaining hopes of attaining his lost former glory in terms of endearing himself to his Lord. This endeavor of his seemed to get crowned with success during a visit to Puttaparthi.

In the darshan lines, Swami spotted him and called him by that endearing term,
“Appendicitis boy...”
Amey rushed and knelt before Swami.
“Where are you?” Swami asked.
“Swami, I have completed my schooling and Bachelors in Commerce.”
“Why did you leave the school? Why did you leave Swami? All the other students happily continued to study here...”
Amey had no answer. Once again, he felt his anger against those unknown perpetrators rising. But he chose not to tell anything to Swami. With a flick of His finger, Swami indicated to Amey to go to the interview room!

Two personal interviews followed in the next 3 days. And in an instant, Amey had become a celebrity again. Friends who often avoided him, now came back flocking to him. Even as his stock price shot beyond the ceiling, Amey did not get carried away. He knew that it was his newfound  stock price which had attracted the clamouring ‘investors’ - the same ones who had totally avoided him all these years.  He kept quiet and did not care one bit for the attention. However, he could not hold back when his former ‘best friend’ came to speak to him.
“Keep away from me. How is it that suddenly I have become dear to you? I am the same guy but your treatment has varied so much. You are simply an opportunistic and selfish person.”

His friend smiled and replied. And that reply was enough to pick Amey from the peak of his joy back to the same abysmal depths of depression, if not deeper.

Back to square one

Looking straight into Amey’s eyes, the friend replied,
“What could I do? The day you left the school, the class teacher revealed what had happened. When the list of new students had been taken to Swami for approval, he had specifically asked for the roll number of the ‘appendicitis boy.’ The teachers were sure that Swami wanted to confer some special blessing on you as they pointed out to your number. Swami simply struck your name off the rolls and said that you were no longer needed in the school! So, all of us naturally assumed that Swami did not want any of us to interact with you. Nobody knew why you were thrown out but this much is certain that Swami expelled you. We feared His ire if we spoke to you.”

Amey was now in another daze. He simply walked away from the friend and could not believe that it was his Swami who was behind all this. He felt deceived and let down completely. Thinking back about the past few days, he was in mixed feelings. While the sweet talk and interviews had convinced him that nothing had changed between him and his Lord, this revelation from his friend shocked him into thinking whether he had got things right. He left Puttaparthi and returned to Bangalore. He needed some time by himself to come to terms with the information he had received.

Acting in the MBA Day drama in 2004.
Being a positive person by nature, his thinking in solitude resulted in a pure thought with a steely determination,
“Come what may, I shall strive to become dear to the Lord. I don’t know what I did to make Him take this drastic step of kicking me out of school. But I shall strive for one more chance to redeem myself.”
Born from this resolve was the desire to join the MBA course in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. Even as he worked for Hewlett Packard, Amey constantly kept preparing for admission into the University. In the meanwhile, his prayers during the bhajans at Brindavan gained a new intensity. He kept praying,
“Swami, please give me one more chance and I shall prove myself worthy of your love.”
That pining was reflected in his singing and everybody agreed that this boy - Indraneel - was one of the best singers. (Yes, he had changed from Amey to Indraneel. To this day, he continues to be Indraneel for the people from Bangalore.) His thought, word and deeds were directed towards an MBA admission.

The achievement of the goal

His first two attempts at getting an MBA seat were failures. But that did not deter him and he kept trying, year after year. Exactly a decade after being sent out from the school, Amey, in 2003, achieved the first part of his dream - he was selected for the MBA programme in the Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. The ten years away from Swami had given birth to another realization in him.

“I came to know that there is nothing in the world, nothing in life other than the Lord, my Swami. I decided that I would do whatever necessary to be with Him and never lose contact with Him again. I realized that I would possibly have left Swami to pursue a career after my education if not for this decade-long stint in the ‘outside world’. Those 10 years made me realize the magnitude of the blessing of staying with Swami. It trained my focus on to Swami and Swami alone. Thus, when I got an MBA seat, I was delighted. This would be my re-entry into the world with my Lord and, this time, I would ensure that nothing ever takes me away from it.”

Even as he achieved the first part of his dream, he did not lose sight of his ultimate dream - to become near and dear to his Swami. Being his classmate, doing the MSc course as he did his MBA, I can definitely vouch for his efforts. Amey became a lead singer in the bhajan group, was regular in all the hostel disciplines, excelled in studies and was clearly in college to pursue a lifelong sadhana. Everybody felt that he was different - some even criticized his ‘needless adherence to the ideal way’ but that was surely born out of their own inability to be like him! Amey also became part of all the cultural programmed put up in mandir in the Divine Presence. He excelled as a speaker and actor.

His faith in Swami had been strengthened by a statement that he often read and and heard from Swami,
“I sometimes act as if I keep you at a distance; that is done to reform you quicker. When a stretch of road is being repaired, I go by another detour and I do not use that bit of road for some time. The purpose is to let the repair works proceed more quickly so that I may use that road again.”

Ah! That is the property of Divine Love alone. Even at the cost of being misunderstood and ‘hated’, Swami continues to do what is best for the individual. He knows that though you may criticize Him now and feel bad, in due course of time, the divine wisdom and love will be appreciated. While human love is concerned only with the comfort of the body and the mind, divine love sacrifices the body and mind at the altar of the soul. Divine love is concerned only with soul which is forever, rather than the body which keeps changing with every birth.

The cherry on the icing

In 2007, Amey was a research scholar, pursuing his PhD in Management. He had no idea that Swami had been silently witnessing his ‘growth’ and had decided to give him a pat on the back. The 21st of August is celebrated as the ‘MBA Day’ to mark the inception of this professional programme in the University. Every year, the MBA students would put up a drama in Swami’s presence on MBA day. However, in 2007, Swami scripted the day differently.

He told the vice-chancellor, A.V.Gokak that there was no need of a drama as the students had put up one less than a week ago (that would be the Independence Day Drama on 15th August). He wanted a couple of speeches instead. When the names of some senior teachers were presented to Swami to select as the speakers, Swami said that he wanted speakers who could sing very well. He wanted many songs in between the talks he said. Only two people from the MBA department fitted this bill - Amey Deshpande and Subash Subramaniam. That in itself gave a hint about Swami’s selectivity.

On the 21st of August, 2007, Amey and Subash delivered their talks. It was unbelievable to see that Swami was almost in tears after an hour. He said,
“I am feeling so full today that I am not able to speak. You have given me so much joy.”

For Amey, that was an acknowledgement of his decade-long efforts. Swami did not stop at that. He said that since He was not addressing the students that day, He would specially address them the next day morning.  Conferring the two boys with lots of blessings, Swami left after the bhajans.

That evening, the vice-chancellor visited the hostel to invite all the students and teachers to the mandir next morning for Swami’s discourse! Having done his duty, he sent everyone out but these two boys. Then, he told them,
“Swami was all the while remembering and speaking about you only. He said that He wanted such boys to stay with Him forever. He even discussed with everyone at the dinner table about the steps and measures to be taken to retain such excellent Sai-students. He has advised me to ask you this and so I am doing it in private. What would it take for you to remain here always? Swami is ready to pay any salary, give you any comforts and do everything possible so that you remain here with Him always. He says that students like you are His greatest treasure and He wants to retain you here forever. So, tell me, what is it that you seek?”

Amey was now in tears. Ten years ago, Swami had sent him out. Today, He was pleading him to stay and stating that He was ready to do anything to keep him with Him. Ah! What humility! The ten years ‘away’ from Swami had brought Amey very close to Swami. So, he answered the vice chancellor,
“Sir, Swami has given me more than I could ever imagine. It will be my privilege and opportunity to be here with Him forever. Please tell Swami that he has always given me even before I have asked. The fact that He wants me here forever is the greatest blessing that is conferred on me. It is Swami’s love and humility that makes Him seek this as a favor from me when, in reality, this is the greatest blessing that I can ever imagine.”
Chained to his dear Lord for Life...

And that was when Amey realized that at times, you are made to move away from your goal to achieve your goal! The next morning, Swami materialized a gold chain for Amey and ‘chained’ him to Himself for life. He did the same to Subash as well. During the discourse on the 22nd of August,2007, He presented the two students as ideals for the whole student community:

“Yesterday, the talks delivered by two of our MBA students were very good. Listening to them was a great pleasure to Me. We are very happy to have such good boys in our college. These two boys stood first in their class and were awarded gold medals. But you should not be satisfied with these awards and rewards. You should become good boys. Even the value of gold may diminish but not the value of goodness. Hence, you should cultivate goodness and earn a good name which will remain forever.

Students, you are like pure gold. You are all very good. But sometimes you encounter waves of disturbance and doubts in your lives. Many a time, your faith is shaken by some aberrations. Do not pay attention to these. They will go as they come. Come what may, you must remain fearless and steady. Your studies are meant to develop steadiness in you. Study to be steady. Keep this always in your mind. Look at these two boys. How happy they are! In fact, all the MBA students are good. It is not possible to say that one is good and the other is bad. Their singing also was so good. They are intelligent, virtuous and full of vigour. They will be an asset wherever they go. Such boys should stay back to serve the institution so that they can impart their goodness to others. There is nothing great in going abroad and earning a lot of money with your academic qualifications. Money comes and goes, morality comes and grows.”

Today, a decade after joining the MBA programme, Amey continues to be in Puttaparthi as a teacher. He continues to motivate and inspire love for Swami in the hearts of the students and is happy to have achieved his dream of being close to Swami forever.



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Monday 6 May 2013

When selfishness disguises itself as selflessness

Selfishness is a master chameleon
There is no limit to the extents to which
selfishness can go...

It was during my summer vacations when this episode occurred in the Garden City of India, Bangalore (now called Bengaluru). More than anything else, the incident showed me how subtle are the ways of selfishness. It is a master chameleon which can disguise itself even as the noblest of feelings. It is so convincing in its act that one readily turns a blind eye to it and acknowledges it as the noble emotion or thought that it is trying to impersonate. At its subtlest best, selfishness dons the vesture of selflessness with such elan and grace that it actually elicits prayers and efforts from the victim to achieve its ignoble ends!
I was then a student in the undergraduate at the Brindavan Campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. Among the 3 campuses of the Institute at Brindavan, Puttaparthi and Ananthapur, the students of the Brindavan campus were the luckiest in the summer months because the Chancellor of their University, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, whom they lovingly called Swami, would stay at the ashram in Brindavan. And being a student of the final year undergraduate class, I would be among the special one-third of the campus to get a chance to sit in the front rows for darshan and bhajan sessions (prayer sessions). Thus, like every other final-year student, I eagerly looked forward for the summer sessions.
There is another magical thing that happened when Swami visited Brindavan - the Trayee sessions! These were times when Baba would call all the students into the large hall under His single-room residence and interact with them. (The building there is called Trayee Brindavan and hence the name for the sessions.) There would be discourses by Swami, devotional songs sung by the students, a quiz contest, a bhajan session - just about anything. Nobody could predict what would happen in a Trayee session. Swami had arrived to Brindavan and had started granting Trayee sessions after the evening bhajans on a daily basis. This was something the brought joy to everyone among the staff and students who were lucky to be called in daily.

A wonderful time

Thus began my summer on a happy note. Adding to the joy was the fact that lady-luck decided to side with me! On a continuous basis, when it came to the lines/queues going into Trayee Brindavan for the session, I always seemed to pick a token number 1 or 2. In this way, for almost 5 days in a row, I got a chance to sit in the front, very close to Swami’s jhoola (ornamental swing) during the sessions.
This was such a joyous privilege. Sitting at the Master’s feet was such an enthralling experience. Seeing Him from so close in itself gave me gooseflesh. And what should I say about the chance to massage His feet in loving Padasevanam! (Actually Swami has given an entirely new meaning of the term Padasevanam as described in another article.)
I remember one evening very vividly. I was gently massaging Swami’s calf muscles. I was being very gentle and tender in my massage. His legs felt so delicate and feminine. I was thinking, “Swami! No wonder you have Goddess Lakshmi massaging your feet in Vaikuntha (abode of Lord Vishnu). You need very delicate hands to do the massage because your legs are so delicate.”
Even as this thought crossed my mind, Swami looked at me and said,
“Massage a bit harder. Like this...”
And He showed it with His hands too. He seemed to squeeze the imaginary muscles in His hand and twist them in opposite directions, the way we do while wanting to dry a dripping towel! I was taken aback. But I did as He said, gently though. He again looked at me and told me to do it harder. Now I increased the pressure. One more look and Swami said,
“Do it harder. Have you not had any food?”
This time I thought,
“Okay Swami! You asked for it!”

I wrung His calf muscles with all the strength I could muster. I was half expecting a shriek of pain. But nothing like that happened. I looked up at Swami and He was sitting comfortably on the jhoola, seemingly enjoying the talk by a teacher that was going on. I now increased the pressure till my breaking point. My forearms began to ache with the effort. The ‘tender’ muscles of His calf were being squished into pulp I thought. The pressure was such that I would surely not have been able to bear to do it to my own ‘stronger’ calf muscles.
But Swami did not budge or flinch a bit! In fact, when my arms began to ache after 10 minutes and I reduced the pressure, He looked at me and taunted,
“Tired? Do you wish to be replaced? Massage harder...”
Who would want to lose that opportunity and be replaced? But there is a limit for my physical strength right? His Divine power, on the other hand, is limitless! I learned my lesson. Instead of thinking stupid thoughts, I continued the massaging with all my love and humility. Swami’s demands for greater pressure immediately ceased.
With Swami that is the case always - once the message is learned, the messenger instantly ceases to exist!
These were the kinds of chances and experiences that one receives during Trayee Sessions. And so, now the reader can easily imagine why it was such a beautiful time for me and all the other students as well.

The selfish gene

It is almost as if we have a selfish gene in our constitutions that awaits a chance to express itself. And it seems to succeed on quite a regular basis. One day, after a long time, my token number turned out to be the last in the queues that go into Trayee Brindavan. I was very disappointed. I just could not bear the thought of being seated so far away from the jhoola where Swami sits. I would be so far that I would not be able to even hear whatever Swami speaks. (There would be no mikes kept for Swami unless He was delivering formally, a discourse.) Who knows, I might be seated so back that unless I craned my neck, I might not be able to even see Him! My disappointment grew as we made our way into the Sai Ramesh hall for the evening darshan and bhajan session after which would be the coveted Trayee Session.
As I sat for bhajans, I recollected the beautiful days that had passed so far. Five days of physical proximity to Swami out of which I had got the chance to massage His feet on three occasions. (“And today, it would be all over” squeaked the selfish gene from one corner of my head). Swami too had continuously granted one Trayee Session after another. (“Will He not be tired? Should He not get some rest” spoke the selfish gene in my head. But this time, it had already attired itself in the costumes of nobility and concern!

“Yes, Swami needs to take a break and have some rest”, I thought, “He is continuously giving one Trayee session after another. Swami, take a break. Take some rest.”
At that time, I did not realize what extremes of selfishness I was indulging in. It was the case of me not wanting anyone else to get a wonderful evening if I would not be having it! But at that time, I felt I was being so noble and sensitive in my thoughts. Such was selfishness’ disguise and such was my foolishness, that I actually began to pray,
“Swami, there is no need for Trayee session today. You can take some rest. How much do you want to keep slogging for all of us...”
“Ay! That is selfishness”, a strong voice from my heart came up.
“How can it be?” the head questioned, “Is it selfishness to think about Swami’s comfort? You are only doing something that nobody else is doing. It is very noble.”
This kind of dialogue of the heart vs the head is a common feature for all of us. Well, the heart is known by other names as well - the voice of wisdom, conscience etc. As the head said, I was indeed doing something that nobody else was doing. And today I know that it was definitely not noble!
Since selflessness brings us all good, is not being selfless true selfishness? :)
Let us all be Self-ish in this true manner...
The veil is lifted
The ways in which the Lord works are strange. But they always have a purpose. To my delight then, on that day, Swami did not call for a Trayee Session! We were informed that there would be no session and that we could return to the hostel. My inner being rejoiced. I felt that a noble prayer is always answered - just as mine had been moments before.
Since I was part of the audio-visual team, the AVC department, in Brindavan, I went to roll the microphone wires and cables. About 8 microphones each would be used by the ladies’ and gents’ bhajan groups and we had to roll up all the cables and wind up things neatly. The storage room was backstage, within the compound wall of Swami’s Trayee Brindavan. As I entered the AVC room to stow away the microphones, I noticed some movement at the Trayee Brindavan entrance door.
Soon, I came to know that a mistake had apparently been made. A wrong communication had been passed and all the boys had been sent away to the hostel. A hurried message was now being despatched to the hostel to summon all the boys.
The veil that selfishness had donned till now and its camouflage as nobility came down in an instant.
I found myself praying,
“Swami, please let there be a Trayee session and let the door open right away. That way, I can get in before the other boys and sit right at your lotus feet.”
“Selfish!” screamed my heart
“Don’t think all that. Just try to get a good spot...” my head retorted.
In an instant I understood how selfish I had been. The nobility of wanting Swami to rest had all disappeared the moment I had a chance to be seated in the front! Ah! How well you disguise yourself Oh selfishness! I felt very ashamed of my thoughts. Adding to my guilt pangs was the fact that the door opened immediately. The boys had not yet arrived. On instinct, I began running and soon found myself seated right in front of the jhoola. In a few moments the other boys arrived.

Remorse

As I sat there, the happenings of the whole evening flashed within my being. I was feeling very ashamed and guilty. I thought that it was my selfish prayer that deprived some other student of the wonderful chance to sit in front. Guilt was almost killing me from within. I was shedding tears.
The inner door opened and Swami walked into the hall. He came and sat on the jhoola. I could bear it no longer. In my heart, I screamed out to Swami,
“Swami! I am sorry. I have been very selfish. And I had the cheek to call it nobility. I shall never pray like this again. In fact, I shall never pray for anything because you always know best. Who am I to assume that I know better that the Lord? From now on, my prayers will always be for the whole world to be happy and for my the love in my heart to grow. Forgive me Swami. I am feeling ashamed. I was selfish and you have rewarded it? How magnanimous are you! I am ashamed of myself. I am sorry”
"Once the message is learned, the messenger ceases to exist." (Swami is seen here smiling as He sits on the jhoola in Trayee Brindavan)

Tears kept flowing and I kept my head bent low. I was looking at His feet only. I did not feel like even touching them. Such was the disgust I was feeling at my selfishness. Once my tears dried, I looked up at Him. The loving Swami flashed a gentle and beautiful smile. In an instant, I knew that He knew everything. And He had forgiven me completely.
My guilt was gone and so was my remorse. I began to massage His feet. I resolved to be consciously aware of the chameleon - selfishness.
The next day, I was again in the last row. I felt so happy in my heart. I felt very light. I prayed,
“Thank you for everything Swami.” Nothing else came from me.
That day, I sat in the last rows in Trayee. But I was happy - happy for the students in front who were getting a wonderful chance. And that genuinely made me so happy! I realized the power of selflessness. Selfishness depended on me getting the front rows to make me happy. Selflessness kept me happy irrespective of what happened!
“I was selfless and you have rewarded me so much greater”, I prayed to Swami, “for you have rewarded me with such pure happiness in my heart - a happiness that nothing or nobody can take away!”

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