The story behind the 'Memoirs of a Sai Student' - Part 1

The ultimate author is God alone

The epitaph of Benjamin Franklin, the inventor who was
a printer by profession speaks of God
as the Ultimate Author!

It is almost impossible to understand how events will unfold in the future. The future is a deep mystery. It is also impossible to change the way things have happened in the past. The past is history. The present is something that I can influence. It is a gift from God. That is why it is called ‘the present’. However, it is not as if the ‘present’ is any less unfathomable than the ‘future’ or the ‘past’. Many times, I come across situations in day to day life that I do not understand; that frustrate me, irritate me, depress me and anger me. And I don’t understand why or how they are happening. While it is true that we have to focus on the present, that focus must be backed by a keen eye on the lessons from the past and a strong faith in the hope for the future. The present is, after all, the seed which has arrived from the tree of the past and is the precursor for the tree of the future.

The present serves as a very good point in time to look back in retrospect.  Thus, any time is a good retrospection time! When done honestly and sincerely, such retrospection leads one towards recognizing the immense blessings received. It also makes one humble and grateful. More than anything else, it makes one understand that the mind is too tiny an instrument to fathom the mysterious workings of the universe, let alone God!

I say all this because today, I am introduced to people as a ‘writer’ or an ‘author’. When that happens,  I smile within myself because becoming that was not in the wildest imagination of my most distant dreams. And yet, there are two ‘successful’ books along with two ‘popular’ blogs to my credit. The ego is a very subtle and silent fellow. He has the ability to disguise even selfishness as selflessness. Then, what can I say about the easier task of disguising pride and a swollen head as gratitude and a broad mind? Many have been the occasions when a pat on my back has resulted in my head swelling up! What modern science can explain this connection between the head and the back?

The "Memoirs of a Sai Student" about which this story is all about is available on Amazon also now. Just scan the
QR code in the right-hand corner of this image to go directly and buy it!

It is at such moments that I sit back and look at my life in retrospect, to realize that it has solely been the working of my best friend, master and God rolled into one, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, all through. I am a zero without Him; but a hero when I have Him by my side. That is why, I decided to write this story - as a reminder of that truth to myself and to anyone else who might mistake me for an ‘author’ or ‘writer’.

The source of all writing content

It all started when I joined the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School in 1998. I was convinced that I would be enjoying a rare privilege - of studying under the direct guidance of Divinity. I resolved to treasure each moment that I spend in Swami’s presence. As an expression of this cherishment, I started to maintain a diary in which I would record my thoughts, feelings and experiences almost on a daily basis. I imagined how it would have been had the cowherds of Krishna’s time, the apostles of Jesus or the disciples of the Buddha had maintained daily records of the happenings with Divinity. I felt that these diary entries would be of no less significance for they concerned the Avatar of the age, my Swami. In the nine years as a student, I accumulated more than half a dozen diaries after which I shifted to virtual version of the diary in Google Docs. When Swami granted me a job at Radiosai, I got the opportunity to maintain the Prasanthi Diary section of the site, which seemed just like an extension of my diary-writing habit. Thus I had two virtual diaries to maintain - the Prasanthi Diary for public consumption and my own personal diary for my record.

Always have a direct connection to God - Nikhil Koushik learns his lessons from Baba _Part 2

God sees only the efforts

Nikhil dialled his mother and sought her advice,

“Mother, Swami tells me that I need to do my sadhana before I can sing in His presence. Could you tell me what sadhana you did? What did aunt do... what did granny do?”

The mother was both surprised and happy at her son’s question. She replied,

“My child, I really don’t know what sadhana I have done. It has just been Swami’s love and grace...”

Nikhil already knew that this would be the answer. Every true devotee of the Lord credited Him for everything. She never claimed to have done anything special for she felt that it was Swami alone who is all special.

“Yes mother! Swami’s love and grace is infinite indeed... But... there must be something that you people did right. Tell me what you would do when you were not in Swami’s presence?”

“Your granny and aunt had deep love for Swami. From that sprung a commitment to put in daily efforts. They are talented of course but their efforts were so relentless that Swami would have been pleased with them even without their skill!”

{This is the concluding part of a story which will definitely make better sense and grant more joy if read after the first part. The first part is located at the link below:

Always have a direct connection to God - Nikhil Koushik learns his lessons from Baba _Part 1 }

Nikhil had his answer with crystal clarity. It was not as if some sadhana was better than the other. What mattered to Swami was sincere effort alone. That was probably the reason why it everyone is said to be equal in the eyes of God - because everyone is equally capable of putting in 100% efforts though their capabilities to produce results vary. Since God did not judge based on results but only based on efforts, each one has the equal capability to please God.

"If you look to me, I look to you."
Look at this beautiful picture. Do you think that there is a need for any intermediary between the devotee and God? Why don't
we strive for that direct connection? Why do we always want shortcuts? All it needs is effort

“Thank you mother. You are wonderful... Sairam.”, Nikhil said before putting down the phone. Now, he knew what he had to do - put in efforts, in whatever way he could.

The next morning, Nikhil was up and ready by 4:30am. Armed with a harmonium in the music room of the hostel, he began to practice chanting the Aumkaar (the ‘Om’ chant). He practiced till 5 am after which he went to attend the Suprabhatam. This effort did not remain as a one-day wonder. It became part of his daily schedule. He also put in supreme efforts to swallow his pride and ego. As suggested by Shailesh sir, he approached other singers in the bhajan group and sought their help to improve his singing. Having put in these efforts, he left the results to Swami and just prayed for an opportunity.

Within a week, Nikhil got that opportunity. With all love and humility, he sang a simple bhajan in the presence of the in-charges. What Shailesh sir told him that day has remained etched in his heart.

“What have you done? You have transformed completely the way you sing. You are fading out the ending of each line in the bhajan so perfectly. I suggest that you teach the exercises you have done to some of the other aspiring singers. I am sure they will benefit a lot from it.”

“Thank you sir... So... I can try singing in the mandir?”

“Yes, you can. Seek permission from Swami before that.”

A couple of days later, Swami called Nikhil to take his letter in the bhajan hall. As he handed the letter to Him, Nikhil sought permission to sing in His presence. Swami nodded with a smile and wholeheartedly permitted him. Nikhil’s joy knew no bounds. He knew his efforts had paid off.

Pride and Ego - not easy f(r)iends to subdue

That was how Nikhil achieved his dream of becoming a mandir singer - a dream that he had once taken so much for granted that it had almost turned into a nightmare. Reaching the top is one thing; staying there is a totally different game. While reaching the top requires intensity of effort, staying there needs persistence in the same efforts. While Nikhil had passed the test of intensity, it was probably the time for the test of his persistence.