"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 3

Living in the present

“The past is history; the future is mystery. The present is a gift. That is why it is called ‘present’.”

This quote is oft used while guiding one on how to live life. However, when the history in question is His-Story, then matters become different. When the timeless One decides to encapsulate in a form within the boundaries of time, the concept of past and future dissolves because the lifetime of the Avatar is no ordinary ‘present’. It is the Omnipresent!

Buzzing away as a little fly in the longest-ever time travel so far, I began to feel weak. I had been in Puttaparthi of the the early 1940’s for almost 3 weeks now and I realized that my lifespan was nearing an end. A normal housefly lives for only about 30 days. It was the 23rd of May and I knew that I had just about a week longer before I would have to return. It was also my sister’s birthday! Oh my God! I would not be able to wish her... But then, I realized, she was probably in her previous life now.

I still had not got the answer to the question, “Who is He?” That was the question in the minds of everyone in Puttaparthi too, I realized.

{This is the final and concluding part of an exciting journey back into time. It is recommended that the reader goes ahead having completed the first two parts at:

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 1

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 2 }

Ever since the erudite lawyer, P.T.Krishnamachari, had left Puttaparthi, shocked and possibly wiser, the family seemed to be at its wits’ end. Swami seemed to have lost the violent streak. Thus, He had been freed from His solitary isolation. He had been brought back home and now, He was having alternating ‘bouts’ of trance and poetry recitation. I just wished that my Telugu comprehension was better so I could understand what He was saying. I resolved to return to this time-period for a second time after mastering Telugu!  

Photo Credit: The book Love is My Form. 

The climactic moment took place in an unexpected manner. It happened when Swami was ‘acting normal’ on the aforesaid 23rd of May. He had just walked out of the house. He stopped a passer-by and said,

“Don’t worry about your wife’s health. She will get better.”

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 2

A different Sathyam

A new day dawned in Puttaparthi and everyone of the Raju household hoped that it would mark a new chapter in their Sathyam’s life. Their hopes were certainly about to get fulfilled but not in a manner that they expected. I had barely opened my eyes and begun my buzzing when there was a bigger buzz outside. I flew out to see that some person had arrived from the neighbouring Bukkapatnam. I gathered from the conversation that he was Mantra Lakshmana, an occultist who had been summoned to try cure Sathyam in a more civilized and humane manner. This person looked like an angel in comparison to the huge Appayyaswamy. He also had a more cheerful demeanour.

I flew back to my Swami who was sitting in a corner of the house. His eyes were closed and He seemed to be in a trance. The occultist entered the house without the slightest idea of what was in store for him. Swami flew into a rage on seeing him and, picking up a vessel, hurled it at Lakshmana. The missile was not discharged to hit and so it missed him by more than a foot. However, it chipped off a small part of the dilapidated wall. I had never seen Swami like this.

“So you have come to treat me? How is it that you have not got anything with you then?” Swami thundered.

Happy that his treatment had not been completely opposed, Lakshmana quickly handed out a list of items to be procured to the family members.

A photo of Swami adorning the shrine of a devotee at Anatapur in 1944. 

Instantly, Swami began to rattle out a few Telugu words. My tiny fly-senses could not comprehend what He was saying but they were apparently items missing from the list that the occultist had given!

“What sort of a doctor are you? You do not know your own lists?”

The occultist slunk away silently and Swami went back to His corner. I wondered why He had treated the gentlemanly occultist with such fury when He had been so patient and sweet with the gruesome ogre who had tortured Him? There was no answer forthcoming and I decided to just accept this uncertainty of my Lord with faith.

{This is actually the second part of an ongoing time-travel. If you wish to enjoy it completely, please come here after reading the first part at:

"Who am I" - A time travel to the least understood period of Sri Sathya Sai's life_Part 1}

The next few days became even more difficult! Swami suddenly had become so much more violent which was very uncharacteristic of His nature. I found it very hard to believe that God could be like this! How was I to accept such intense uncertainty? Even as I pondered thus, Swami turned and looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot and my wings trembled in terror. Instantly, He seemed to melt and spoke to Himself,

“Love my uncertainty.”

He then got up and walked out of the house.

PART 1_Destroyed in seconds but rebuilt over years - the love story of Vijaya Sunder with his Swami

An introductory chapter on the Divine Romance

The Indian summer in 2003 was coming to an end  and giving way to a cool spring. But that made no difference to the sultry climate in the city of Chennai in South India. With the sea breeze plucking the beads of perspiration off his face, Vijaya Sunder ran towards his home. His calf muscles ached from the strain of running and his lungs huffed and puffed with exertion.  But he had a broad smile plastered on his face. The results of the state level (Tamil Nadu) grade XII exam had been declared and Vijay had performed exceedingly well. In fact, he had obtained the perfect result, a centum, in his favourite subjects - Physics and Chemistry. He was convinced that he had moved a step closer towards achieving his dream of becoming an engineer.

“Mom! Dad! Look. I am the state-topper in Chemistry and Physics...” screamed Vijay as he entered the home.

“Ah! Praise be to the Lord”, exclaimed the mother as she rushed out from her morning worship to hug her son.

“C’mon Mom! I wrote the exams and you give credit to your God!” Vijay couldn’t suppress the smile as he said that.

“Whatever you may say. Everything happens because of God.”

Yet another story of divine romance  between the Lord and Vijaya Sunder.

Vijay did not say anything to his mother. She was firmly entrenched in her devotion to god. In spite of the tough life she had lead so far, she found things to thank god for. But Vijay was not interested or bothered about god. He just didn’t want to be bothered by him or her or it - whatever God was. His philosophy was very simple - hard work fetches its rewards while the lack of it results in disappointment. He had worked really hard for his academic excellence and it was only natural that his results reflected that.

Vijay now showed the results to his father who did not say a thing. The tears in his eyes said everything - he was proud, happy and grateful. Vijay’s chest swelled in pride.

“Dad! I want to study in the best of engineering colleges and my marks will ensure a ‘merit’ seat for me.”
“Yes my son!” agreed the father and embraced Vijay. He would get ready now to withdraw the special savings he had made for precisely this purpose.

Like anywhere else in the world, to get into the top notch colleges, one either had to be rich in the intelligence department or had to be the child of a parent rich in the finance department. Finances had always been hard to come by for Vijay’s family. Vijay had been a late-born and his father had retired as a cartoonist at the Indian Express when he was barely 11 years old. On retirement, he had got about 4 lakh rupees (about $10,000 then) as his lifetime savings from the Provident Fund. That had been invested into two separate Chit funds, which are basically microfinance organizations. The interest amount was being used to pay Vijay’s fees and the father hoped to use th principal amount to pay for Vijay’s higher studies. The fees for the 4 years of engineering would be as low as ₹1.8 lakhs now since Vijay had secured a ‘merit’ seat. (A seat by ‘Management quota’ had to be bought for about ₹7 lakhs!) This was better than what Vijay’s father had bargained for.

A God-shattering experience

It was Vijay’s father who received the shock first. Chit funds operate in different ways, and there are also many fraudulent tactics practiced by private firms. The basic necessity of conducting a 'Chitty' is a group needy people called subscribers. The foreman—the company or person conducting the chitty—brings these people together and conducts the chitty. He is also the one who has the ‘power’ to commit fraud.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future - Part 1

A story of Himalayan proportions

It was Oscar Wilde who said,

"Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."

For long, it was the story of Kalpagiri stood testimony to the truth in this statement for me. After I became a student at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, I came to know of many more such stories. Among the hundreds of stories of Swami’s grace and love that I had heard in my student days, one story stuck in my heart for its uniqueness. And that story brought new meaning to the Oscar Wilde quote. It showed that there are instances where even a sinner has a glorious past. But that glorious past is forgotten due to complete indulgence in the world. The soul starts blundering and floundering in life till God's compassion descends and reveals the Truth.

A file photograph of Sanjay Sahni speaking in the Divine
Presence at Brindavan, Bengaluru.

I first heard of this experience in Swami’s presence, in Trayee Brindavan, narrated by lecturer Sri.Sanjay Sahni who is the principal of the Brindavan campus of SSSIHL as on the date of writing of this article. Listening to the incident and seeing Baba’s rapt attention was such an experience in itself. I again heard this incident narrated in Prasanthi Nilayam a few years later, this time by another lecturer, Sri Ruchir Desai. His was a 15-minute speech and so he didn’t go into the details the way Sahni sir had done in his 45-minute talk. But since then, the incident was etched in me and what a wonderful opportunity it was to hear about it from the protagonist-witness himself! The first-hand narrative from Mr.Prithviraj is definitely a story of Himalayan proportions.

Mr. Prithviraj was an advocate from the Indian state of Orissa and he had prospered well in his career to soon find himself serving at the apex court in India. As an advocate of the Supreme Court of India, he had a very busy and fulfilling life. The fulfilling part came from his devotion to his God and master, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba and his annual service at Prasanthi Nilayam in Puttaparthi. He came face to face with the most fantastic and thrilling story of his life during one such visit to the abode of highest peace (that is what Prasanthi Nilayam translates into) as a member of the Seva Dal (the service corps of the Sri Sathya Sai Seva Organization).

It was the year 1989 and as always, he was serving at the South Indian canteen of the Prasanthi Nilayam ashram. He was accosted with great familiarity by a man in a white shirt and a white pant.

“Sairam sir, do you remember me?”, he asked with a gentle smile, “you had given me tea.”

Having tea with strangers in order to extract their story with Swami was nothing new to Prithviraj and so, he was unable to recollect this face.

“I am Mohammad... remember? The cigarettes...”

In a flash, he remembered everything. A quick travel down memory lane brought before his mind’s eye everything about Mohammad and his extraordinary life. The time was about five years ago, in 1984.

The powerful attraction between goodness and Godliness - a college professor's experience with Sri Sathya Sai PART 1

God always stays with Good because 'Good' without 'God' is a big 0 (zero)!

Goodness and Godliness

The divine perspective is often beyond human comprehension. Divine logic seems so illogical and completely un-understandable. On the face of it, it appears as though God has different rules for different people. However, a little experience will show that God’s differing treatment to different devotees is akin to a doctor’s differing treatment to different patients. Ailments vary though the symptoms seem the same. As Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, my dear Swami, puts it, the doctor advises dietary restrictions for a patient, a few tablets for another and an appendicitis surgery for the third though all three came to him with the same stomach pain. And so, it would be best that the devotee simply accepts with faith what the Lord does and simply enjoy His beautiful leelas (Divine play).

However, one rule definitely applies to even God - He is always attracted to goodness. In fact, when it came to the question of marriage, a student held Swami’s feet and said that he wasn’t interested in marriage. Swami told him that marriage would do him good.

“Then Swami, let the girl whom I marry be a Sai-devotee. Otherwise, I don’t want marriage.”

“Your parents will find a good girl. If the girl is good, that is enough. Get married to her”, advised Swami.

“But Swami! If she doesn’t accept you, how can I accept her. I definitely want a devotee girl”, the student insisted.

“Don’t worry about that. Just ensure that the girl is a good girl. Her ‘goodness’ will naturally get attracted to my ‘Godliness’. Have no doubt in that.”

That student indeed got married to a good girl who had no clue about Swami.

“Today, I feel that she is a better devotee of God compared to me”, the student admits!

Godliness and Goodness always attract each other, reinforce each other and sustain each other. And that is Swami’s word. Swami’s attraction to goodness holds true even if that goodness is wrapped up and covered in multiple sheaths of ignorance and imprudence, impatience and impudence.  He delves into the depths of the heart and installs Himself there even if He finds the tiniest grain of goodness therein. And that has been the life-journey of Dr. Gangadhar Shastry, currently the joint-director of the Prasanthi Nilayam campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. He has been a lecturer in history and political science for nearly 35 years now and the story of his introduction to Swami is as fascinating as it is interesting and inspiring.

And without wasting another sentence in introduction, I shall dive into this gripping story, in exactly the same manner as I heard it from him.

An unsought blessing

Gangadhar Shastry was another Indian youth in the prime of his energies and abilities in the early 1970s. He was a good sportsman, a good academic, an excellent chess player and a huge Marxist at heart. He always felt deeply for the working classes and always wanted to do something to improve their lot. However, he had his list of negatives too. He was a chain smoker with an angry temperament. Any disagreement would lead him into fistfights which he often won, literally pummelling his opposition into submission. He was also outspoken and frank which led him to speak many times even to the elders in their face. It also made it tough for him to get a job on completion of the Master’s degree in political science.

It was indeed a day of rejoicing for his worried parents when he finally landed a 2-year contractual job as lecturer in the Andhra Loyola College at Vijaywada. Gangadhar packed his bags the college campus in Vijaywada. The two years breezed by and soon, it was the 31st of March, 1979, a day when college holidays were declared and he was discharged with a summer salary in hand. It was at this time that his parents decided to hitch him to the queen of his life, Ms. Rani (name translates into queen). Gangadhar felt that this was cruelty on his parents part, thrusting on him the responsibilities of marriage when he was losing his job! He had no idea that his Lord, Bhagawan Baba, had taken the first few steps into his life. Rani’s family were devout followers of Baba.

Immediately following the wedding, Gangadhar started his job hunt with renewed fervour. Two months later, he seemed to have made no progress. That was when his eyes fell upon an ad in the THE HINDU newspaper. It stated that the newly inaugurated Sathya Sai Arts and Science college was looking out for lecturers in several subjects, including political science. Gangadhar’s wife and inlaws told him to apply immediately. Knowing that this college had something to do with the ‘Swami’ of his wife’s family, Gangadhar felt that it would not be a good idea to apply. In fact, after his marriage, he had been forced to accompany his wife to many ‘bhajan sessions’. Of course, he did not enter the bhajan halls. He would sit out and enjoy his smoke. But, he did not like being forced to do something which he did not want.

Unless Swami wills, one cannot come to Him. That has been the experience of many including a disciple of Swami Sivananda. At the same time, when Swami decides to enter someone’s life, nothing can stop Him. That too has been the experience of many including a Christian lawyer from Pune. The 6 brothers in law that Gangadhar had, plotted against him and booked his ticket to Bangalore via the train, Sarkar Express which ran from Kakinada to Madras (present day Chennai) and passed through Bangalore (present day Bengaluru). They took him with them to their hometown Tanaku in West Godavari district of Andhra Pradesh and readied him for what they considered would be the most important journey of his life.

That was when the a cyclone swept the state in early May, killing 700 people, 3 lakh animals and damaging 7 lakh homes. The railway lines were affected badly and Gangadhar convinced everyone at his in-laws place that he should not be attending the job interview at Bangalore since there was no way to travel there. 3 days before the date of journey, the Indian Railways announced that normal train service would resume. The in-laws’ plan came back on track and soon Gangadhar found himself in a crammed railway compartment, on his way to Whitefield, Bangalore.

The college building in Brindavan, Whitefield, Bangalore.

Taken by surprise

The mere sight of the college building and premises took Gangadhar’s breath away. He marvelled at the size and cleanliness of the place. Dr. Suri Bhagawantham, former scientific adviser to Govt. of India conducted the job interview for Gangadhar and was mightily impressed with his subject knowledge and language skills. Gangadhar feared that he might actually get the job! In middle of the formalities, his urge for a puff made him leave the campus. He returned after a coffee and two cigarettes. As soon as he came, the other candidates accosted him and told him,

“You are indeed unlucky. You missed a great chance...”

“And pray what was that?” asked a curious Gangadhar.

“Swami had just walked in here. He spoke to all the candidates. It was simply wonderful.”

Gangadhar felt that the people were making much ado about nothing. He didn’t feel deprived in any way. That was when he noticed that he was the only moustached candidate. All others were clean shaven. That observation also struck him as funny. As the interviews concluded, all the candidates were invited for a sumptuous meal. Again, Gangadhar was shocked. He had attended several interviews after which not even water had been offered. Here, a banquet was being offered! He enquired into the reason for the hospitality. He was told that was the command of “Swami”. He was touched by this “Swami” whom he had not yet seen.

As they sat down for lunch, the food prayer (Brahmaarpanam) began. The students of the college dressed in impeccable whites were serving all the candidates with great love and reverence. All this added to Gangadhar’s awe of the place.

“There is definitely something magical about this place”, he thought.

Even as he was walking out after lunch, a person dressed in whites came to him and told him that a 15-day summer course in Indian Culture and Spirituality was on in the college premises. Swami would be addressing the students and front seats had been reserved for the interviewed candidates. But Gangadhar was not interested in attending the ‘spiritual summer course’.

“What is the need for it? Let me go home instead”, he thought not realizing that in the future he would be addressing several such summer courses at Brindavan!

Dr. Gangadhar Shastry addressing the students during the Summer Course in Indian Culture and Spirituality

“No thank you. I have my train reservations for Tanaku where my wife and in-laws await me”, said Gangadhar, politely declining the offer. He went to his room, packed up his bag, returned the keys of the room and began to move towards the railway station.

First darshan

Suddenly, the road became crowded and people gathered in front of the building. There was a hush and everyone was whispering that Swami was coming. Gangadhar’s escort told him,

“Sir, why don’t you have one darshan before you leave? Swami seems to be coming all the way to grant you this blessing.”

Gangadhar nodded and stood still. He kept his bag on the ground and waited for Swami to arrive. The beautiful red Benz car drove into the portico of the college auditorium. The door opened and the little figure of Swami stepped out. The crowd went mad in excitement. Swami walked out and raised his hands in blessings to all of them.

Without realizing, Gangadhar too folded his hands in respect and salutation. When he realized that, he did not feel the least embarrassed. Folding one’s hands seemed to be the natural thing to do in Swami’s presence. Swami then walked into the college building and disappeared from sight. A thought crossed Gangadhar’s mind,

“Ok Swami. I have seen you now. If all goes well, we shall maybe meet again. Otherwise, accept my heartfelt goodbye. It was a nice experience seeing you and your place.”

With that, he went to the railway station, boarded the train and returned home. The journey was complete. Gangadhar had no idea that the journey was just beginning.

A 25-year old Gangadhar with his 55-year old Swami. Swami accepted his moustache and the smoking habit
for the sake of the goodness in his heart. The story of transformation is indeed a lovely one.

...to be continued in part 2 which is posted at the link below: The powerful attraction between goodness and Godliness - PART 2

If you liked this, you might also enjoy the following complete stories:

1. God does not call the qualified; He qualifies the called.

2. Sometimes things go horribly wrong before going right. 

For all readers:

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