Playing the harmonium for Sai's bhajans - student S.V.Satheesh's experiences_ PART 1

S.V.Satheesh with his dear harmonium during a programme in Brindavan,
Bengaluru.

A long cherished dream gets fulfilled

In the summer of 2002, S.V.Satheesh sat in the tiny room with extreme exhaustion. It was nearly 3 am and the whole night had been one of great effort for him. For almost a week now, he had been recording what could possibly become his first ever musical album. And today, he had just completed recording the last piece. Though he was feeling fatigued, he was also feeling fulfilled! This was a long-cherished dream come true - a dream that had formed in his student days at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning.

Satheesh was ‘just another’ student who got enrolled for BSc in the college at Prasanthi Nilayam in 1992. His bonding with his Swami was almost instantaneous and he decided that he wanted to occupy a special place in His heart - just as He had occupied a special place in his! When he was wondering how should go about achieving his desire, Swami’s statement in several discourses struck him - “God is a lover of music. Lord Narayana told sage Narada that wherever a devotee sings his glory, He will install Himself there.”

And so, with a prayer to play for Him, Satheesh started learning the harmonium, practicing for almost 3-4 hours every day. He had no idea how he would get his first chance to play for Swami, but he just persevered and practiced rigorously. It was the beginning of a life-long saga.

Today, Satheesh has almost mastered several musical instruments - the harmonium, the accordion, the saxophone, the tabla, the mridangam, the violin and the santoor! By virtue of his ability to play the electronic  keyboard, he can surely claim to be able to play another hundred instruments at least - he just has to press the right buttons! It was either the harmonium, accordion or keyboard that he had played throughout his student-life at the Institute. That is why, today he was feeling fulfilled - because he had just completed a music album, playing the Indian santoor!

Satheesh felt an immense surge of gratitude towards his Swami. And in that flow of gratitude, he recollected how he had got his first ever chance to play the harmonium in Swami’s presence.

The wait and the big break

There is a magical thing about diligence that even skill and talent cannot match - longevity. One’s skills and talents may fade away one day but the results of hard work are always here to stay. Satheesh’s persistent practice ensured that he was soon playing the harmonium during the bhajan sessions in the hostel and the college. However, he was constantly aiming for that big break - to play in Swami’s physical presence. But then, there were stalwart harmonium players already - Sailesh sir, Arunesh and Anand Punjabi to name a few. How was he to get his chance? Satheesh waited patiently and worked diligently with faith. After all, faith is believing in what one cannot see which ultimately leads one to see what one believes in!

It was the January of 1993 and the practice for the drama, Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, was in full swing. This was the drama that had been presented in Swami’s presence during the previous year’s convocation (22nd November 1992) and Bhagawan wanted the drama to be re-enacted for a Cardiology conference being held in the SSSIHMS in January. S.Ravikumar was playing the lead role in that drama. Well, his experiences with Swami are beautiful and touching and they have been detailed in other blogs. The point is that the drama was almost a musical and thus involved the entire music group. And since the practice sessions (which Swami attended) were in the Institute auditorium, the music group would also be assembled there everyday. This was essential because in the 1990s, there was nothing like background recording and all the dramas in the divine presence went on with live dialogues and live singing!

Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - I have no life without Sai (experiences of S.Ravikumar) Part 2

In Kodaikanal with Swami, 1992. 

Change of worlds

As Ravi completed his 5th grade at Ooty, his father received the shocking news. There was no way Ravi could continue his schooling in Ooty any more. The administration had started the school with grades 1, 2 and 3. Progressively, every year, they had added one more class. In 1981 however, they felt that it would not be feasible to add 6th grade to the school. Having enjoyed the beautiful proximity of Swami for 3 years, Ravi was now facing prospects of not being a ‘Sai-student’ any more.

{This is actually part 2 of Ravi's story. To appreciate it better, it is highly recommended to read Part 1 from the link below and then continue with this.

Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - I have no life without Sai (experiences of S.Ravikumar) Part 1 }

Well, that had his father restless and worried more than him. What was to be done next? Instinctively and intuitively, they went to Puttaparthi. Hope dawned there as it always does to those who look towards Puttaparthi as their first and last recourse. The Smt. Easwaramma High School had been inaugurated and running well and Ravi’s father decided to enrol his son there. There was one problem however - the school had the Telugu language as its medium of instruction and Ravi knew as much Telugu as he knew Mandarin or Hebrew!

A special exception was made for these children who had arrived from Ooty and the teachers explained in English as well. Also, the subject Telugu was replaced with another language, Hindi. So, Ravi's (and the others') academic difficulties were greatly reduced. On the whole, Ravi was happy in school because he saw many of his Ooty classmates there. (Apparently, many other parents too had turned to Puttaparthi as their recourse like Ravi’s father!) Ravi’s mother had mixed feelings - her little boy would be still staying away from her but now, he was much ‘closer’ to Swami since he was in Puttaparthi itself. Ravi had no idea about the difficulty that he was about to go through.

There was no Sri Sathya Sai Primary School or the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School in Puttaparthi then. And so, all these children who enrolled into the Easwaramma School were accommodated in the college hostel itself. These were going to be the most challenging 2 years of Ravi’s life as he moved from a hostel where everything was done for him into one where he had to fend for himself completely! Forget the chores of washing his own clothes, Ravi had not got accustomed to even washing his plate and tumbler after meals. Fending for himself put tremendous pressure on him and that was when he began to get worried and restless. He began to lose weight and wonder how his little shoulders would bear so many responsibilities. Today, he realizes that it is only the searing heat and tremendous pressure that turns a piece of carbon into a diamond. Back then, he only felt the heat and pressure. Wilting under it, he felt weak and finally fell sick. For some strange reason, he had got severely asthmatic in hot Puttaparthi having flourished without any medical problems in cold Ooty. Asthma brought him down on his knees and confined him to his bed.

He wondered why he was doing all that he was doing? Why couldn’t he just go back home to his parents? He could not because

Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye -

He could not stay without his Sai. He thought of his beautiful days at Ooty - days when Swami was just meters away from his room door. How he missed those days!

Chain Na Aaye Mohe Chain Na Aaye

He was so restless without Sai.

Even as he felt thus, he could hear a rush of excitement from the room windows. Getting up from the bed, he went to the door. He could not imagine that his imagination of a few minutes back would transform into concrete reality. A few meters away from him was his Swami!

Swami came to him and enquired about his health. How did He know? Ah! What is it that He does not know? Just because Swami does not show that He knows on every occasion does not mean that He does not know. And yet, he was asked and so Ravi answered that he was not feeling well. The divine right palm went a-circling and lo, there was fragrant vibhuti in an instant. The vibhuti was bitter to taste but Ravi was all smiles. When it is the Lord who is gifting, what does it matter if it is bitter or sweet?

On several occasions, Swami blessed Ravi and gave him vibhuti but the episode in the hostel was like
a life-changer!

That was another lesson for life that made Ravi the epitome of calm and composure that he is today. If he could take everything in life as a gift from Swami, he would always be able to smile irrespective of whether it was bitter or sweet. It didn’t matter where he was - Ooty or Puttaparthi because Swami was with him in all places, in all worlds!

Living for God is true devotion

Ravi continued to sing in the bhajan hall, not opening his eyes even for a moment. He did not want to see the prostrate form of his Swami before him. Instead, he chose to ‘see’ Swami with his eyes closed. And that was when he realized that whenever he had sung the qawwali, he had always kept his eyes closed - even when Swami was physically present in front of him. He had done that so naturally till then and today he understood the divine wisdom behind his seemingly unconscious action. Swami wanted him to always search for Him within. Is that not what SAI stands for - See Always Inside?

But he wanted to see Sai outside too! Though his eyes were closed today, he could not help ‘knowing’ that Swami was not sitting on the chair in front of him. He might never hear Swami speak to him the way He had done always.

Why Swami? Are you upset with me? Are you ignoring me? Won’t you speak to me? I am ready to die for you if need be but please be with me always...

Mith Mar Jaye Tujhpe Hamse Na Roothe Tu

Zindagi Saump De Ham Charanon Mein Tere Yun

( Sai, please do not be upset with me for I am ready to die, to lose my existence, for you. I(we) offer my(our) life at your lotus feet.)

Memories galore flooded his heart. Memories in which Swami had asked him to sing on numerous occasions. One memory stood out vividly.

He was in grade 8 now and had got enrolled in the newly inaugurated Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School after 2 years in the Smt.Easwaramma High School. Swami regularly made him sit in the front lines and asked for him to sing a bhajan now and then. During the Dusshera festival of 1984, Ravi got a chance of his life.

He had picked up a new bhajan, “Brahmanda Nayaka Baba, Parthi Purishwara Baba.” When he had sung it in the hostel, everyone had got thrilled at the melody in the voice and the soul in the song. Ravi also thoroughly enjoyed singing that bhajan. But he never imagined what would happen next.

A live bhajan recording of Ravikumar rendering Brahmanda Nayaka Baba

The Dusshera Yajnam is conducted every year for the peace and good of the whole Universe (Brahmanda). And the deity receiving the prayers is the Brahmanda Nayaka (Master of the Universe) himself. That year, in 1984, as Ravi sat with his classmates in the Poornachandra auditorium, he got an excited summon. Looking up, he realized that Swami was calling him on to the stage. Trembling with excitement and with adrenaline rushing, he went up the stage to Swami. Swami asked for a mike to be brought. There was a rush on the stage and one of the college students requested a Veda pundit to lend the microphone in front of him. The mike was placed before the 13-year old. Swami told him to sing the bhajan,

“Brahmanda Nayaka Baba.”

Standing beside Swami, closing his eyes and praying for His grace, Ravi began the bhajan. The whole hall got enveloped in raptures of devotion. The following was simply terrific. But even then, the little boy did not get excited. He just wanted to make his Swami happy. He completed the bhajan and looked at Swami. He had definitely achieved what he had sought to do - Swami was so happy - and proud. Well, the ‘proud’ part is what I am inserting for Ravi never said that. He never accepts that Swami is ‘proud’ of him and it is my emotion that makes me use that word.

As he mentally leafed through that memory, one thing became very clear for Ravi. Swami had always wanted him to sing for Him - even at times when He seemed ‘upset'. He never wanted him to be silent. That was another powerful message for Ravi - never cease doing what you do for the Lord, even if the Lord seems upset or silent. He felt that even as he told Swami that he was ready to die for Him, Swami was gently reminding him that He wanted him to live for Him! Dying for God is relatively easy because it is a one time thing. Living for God, on the other hand, is a lifelong commitment and that is what Swami expects from each of us. We have to continue our ‘singing for him’ throughout life, irrespective of what happens. That is why Swami tells us,

“Living for God (and not dying for God) is true devotion.”

The qawwali comes alive

The qawwali of Ravi’s life - Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - came into existence in 1988. Ravi had completed his schooling then and was in the 1st year of his undergraduate studies at Brindavan, Bangalore. A group of students wrote the lyrics for a qawwali and composed a tune for it. They wanted this qawwali to be offered to Swami during a music programme. Two singers were chosen to sing it in the Divine Presence. One was a 3rd year undergrad student, Rajendra Kumar and the other was Ravi.

They did sing it together. Swami seemed to like it too. That became evident when, months later, Swami again asked for that qawwali to be sung. This time however, it was during the summer vacations and Rajendra had gone home. Swami asked Ravi to sing it alone. The rest, they say, is history.

Ravi actually has no count of the number of times he has been asked by Swami to sing the qawwali. But he surely knows that Swami made several changes to the length of the song. It went through several iterations of ‘Divine editing’ before being accepted in its current concise avatar.

Ravikumar singing and dancing as Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. During that drama, Swami asked Ravi to sing the 
same qawwali! Just imagine Chaitanya Mahaprabhu singing a qawwali! The qawwali was modified as
"Shyam Bina Raha Na Jaaye" and Ravi indeed sang it as a grand finale! 

After playing the role of Krishna's gopika, Yamuna.

Slowly, Ravi began to get opportunities to act in many dramas in Swami’s presence. Needless to say, his roles in the dramas, like in the drama of life, were inextricably intertwined with music. Those were days when there was no pre-recording of dramas and both, the dialogues and songs, were delivered live. Thus, most of the lead actors (who had to do singing) were all good singers. That was how Ravi got the chance to play the role of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, a role that he performed with great devotion and elan.

I feel that the Chaitanya Mahaprabhu role was symbolic of the role Swami envisaged for His Ravi. Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is considered as one of the main pillars of the Bhakti movement (Devotion revolution) and a pioneer of the Bhajan Sampradaya (tradition of singing bhajans as a means to achieve God). Ravi being given that role in the drama was also being given a hint about the role that he had to play in his life too - to become a pillar of the Bhakti Movement via the Bhajan Sampradaya. Ravi, as always, shrugs it away and says,

“Swami gives us the opportunity to play such roles so that we are inspired by such pure lives.”

Did I not say the same thing?

Ravi continued to sing the qawwali and it now progressed towards a change in tempo. From now on, it would move towards it’s climax. A thousand feelings coursed through Ravi’s heart and many in’sai’ghts began to dawn...

to be concluded in the next part

Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - I have no life without Sai (experiences of S.Ravikumar) Part 3

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