God's PUSH is always for the greater good of the individual

How many times do we go through something in life, wondering why that is happening to us. We are convinced that life would be much better if things proceed in the manner of our thinking. Hours, days, weeks, months or (sometimes) even years may pass. One day, suddenly, looking back on those very same episodes in life, we are grateful for them because they have made us what we are today.

In matters concerning Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, my God, Master and best friend, I always felt that I wasted those ten-odd years of my life during which I did not know Him. I used to wonder how much better life would be if only I had come to Him earlier. Today, in retrospect, I am simply happy because I am convinced of God’s perfect timing which I have experienced and understood multiple times. Of course, there are still those instances where I do not understand why something is happening. I try to tell myself in complete faith that things are happening in the best manner possible - only that I am not yet aware of the significance and beauty of the Lord’s action. That is the secret of surrender.

Let Go... Let God

A big opportunity and an even bigger challenge

In 1994, I had wanted to study in Swami’s school but was not getting admission at Puttaparthi. I was told that I could apply in the Puttaparthi school only for grade 11. Desperate to be in His school at any cost, I had got myself admitted at the Sri Sathya Sai Vidyapeeth in Calicut, Kerala. I was in 8th grade in 1995 when I was presented with an irresistible offer after I won the Hindi elocution competition.

“Would you like to deliver a speech in Hindi for the festival of Onam in Sai Kulwant hall, Prasanthi Nilayam, in Bhagawan’s divine presence?”

I was thrilled. I would have been ready to memorise and deliver a speech in French also if it was in Swami’s immediate presence! I nodded and jumped at the opportunity.

The opportunity was also a big challenge. My Hindi was (and is) at best average. The elocution competition victory was simply an ode to my memorizing skills and definitely not a confirmation of my mastery over India’s national language! So, I decided to use the same technique as the elocution competition for this speech also - I decided to learn it by-heart!

I had two months to prepare and I requested my Hindi teacher to write down the entire speech for me. Then began the act of ‘mugging’, the colloquial term at school for committing something to memory!  Weeks of labour and hundreds of rehearsals later, I had become adept in my speech. In fact, if someone woke me up in my sleep and uttered “Aum Sri Sai Ram” - the first line of my speech - I could simply rattle out in the next 7.5 minutes my entire speech with the voice modulation and body language! I was quite well prepared for Onam in the Divine presence.

In order to justify some of the feelings I went through later, I must give a brief background of the atmosphere in my school which was also called Sri Sailam.

A picture that fills me with nostalgia today - the bust of Swami in the 'Mantapam' welcoming everyone into Sri Sailam.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future - Part 2

Dissatisfaction is the nature of the world

In the art of storytelling, it is important to know where detailed descriptions have to be given and where they should be avoided. The story should be long enough to cover all points but short enough to keep it interesting. Having gone into all the details of that momentous single day of Mohammad’s life in Part 1 of this story,  I shall avoid the mundane details of the next 3 months. But there is one detail that has to be narrated because it inspires interest and also conveys a lesson. And that is the fact that Mohammad, in those 3 months, often kept thinking about his benefactor at the Arabian sea. As he thought more and more about him and the episode, he began to realize more and more that  there was no peace or joy in the world that he was acquainted with.

There is a feeling of emptiness. A sense of dissatisfaction that engulfs us without exception. It rises and ebbs, perhaps, depending on the phase of life we are in. I doubt if this hollowness will ever be filled. It was there when we were born and it continues to grow as we age. Filling this emptiness, this dissatisfaction is possible only by spiritual means.

Though he began to make a decent living catching fish in the new motor boat, his inner world was in total turmoil. He now began to smoke even more than before in search of an escape from his mundane existence. But whatever he did, a strange sense of dissatisfaction plagued him. He remembered his fakir friend so much that he got an irrepressible urge to meet him. He decided to undertake another journey to Bombay and seek him out.

If one makes a close enquiry, one will notice that at some point in everyone's life, a sense of dissatisfaction sets in. The actual point of this dissatisfaction setting in might vary but this definitely happens irrespective of one's wealth, position, relationship status and age. This is a dissatisfaction that can be 'cured' only by spiritual means because true happiness lies only in union with God. That union can come about only when one drops one's desires and one's false sense of identification with one's body. That is precisely the reason why when anybody asked Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, "I want peace", His reply was,

"Drop the 'I' and drop the 'want'. You have peace automatically."

These statements are not only high in literary  value. They are profound spiritual truths packed in a very concise manner. In that sense,  though not in Sanskrit, they are mantras indeed.

The address that the fakir had given lead Mohammad to a temple in Bombay.  

[Note: The building indicated by the fakir friend was a Shirdi Sai Temple known as Shri Sai Dhaam Mandir located near Congress House on Vithalbhai Patel Road in Girgaum. A Christian lady, Mrs Valentine, sold the house to the Trustees of Sai Dhaam for Rs.50,000/-. The house was then remodelled as a temple for another Rs.20,000/- and was inaugurated on Gudi Padwa day in 1960 by Shri Yeshawantrao Chavan, the then Chief Minister of Maharashtra. The statue of Baba, in sitting posture, was carved by Shri Balaji Wasant Talim]

Not finding any house, he began to make enquiries about the fakir's whereabouts. He regretted that he had not asked the fakir his name which made the task of finding him very difficult. He had to go around describing him to the people there. Finally, somebody directed him to go into the temple. (Mr. Venkatesh Prithviraj, the narrator and witness to whom Mohammad told his remarkable story, personally visited this Shirdi Baba temple in the later years.) Mohammad had never entered a temple in his life. But today, nothing would stop him from doing so. Strangely, nobody seemed to be surprised to see a Muslim enter a temple. It was as if that was normal! Walking in, Mohammad got a shock of his life. He fell on his knees and began to sob uncontrollably.