God does not call the qualified; God qualifies the called - Part 1

The voice of God

Many times, the question often is asked,

“How does one distinguish between the voice of God and the voice of the mind?”

This is difficult to explain precisely because an experience can only be experienced and not explained. However, as long as we live with a mind, we shall never cease to seek explanations. And so, based on Swami’s guidance and teachings, there are some practical ways to distinguish between the mind and the heart. I still maintain that the best way is to seek that experience of hearing the Divine Voice from within, for, once the voice of God is heard, there will be no doubt as to how one can distinguish between it and the mind’s prattle.

There is no single way by which the voice of God comes to us. If there are as many ways to God, as there are many people on earth, there are at least those many ways by which God can speak to us! The Voice can come to us as an inspiration, as a dream, as some text in a book, an idea or even as a direct command which our ears perceive. Though it can come in myriad ways, when it actually comes, one just can not miss the Voice. Having ‘heard’ that voice, a sense of calm descends and a happy anticipation arises within oneself. That was exactly what happened on the 7th of December, 2013, as I woke up in the city of Chennai.

I had a dream of my Lord, my best friend, my Swami, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. That put me in a state of great peace. As I got ready to meet the day, one Christian quote kept bobbing within me. I had not thought about it or read about it in the near past. I had heard it years before during a Trayee session when the speaker mentioned it in Swami’s presence. There was no reason why that quote should have surfaced in me (at least, at that time it felt so). Little did I realize that Swami was actually gifting me the title for a new blog-post!

Yes! That quote was:

“God does not call the qualified; God qualifies the called.”

Whenever one reads an article, one sees the heading before delving into the actual body of the article. Swami, in His infinite love, seemed to be doing the same for me too. Even as I was pondering over the meaning and profundity of the above quote, I met Mr.Nitin Kanade, an alumnus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning (SSSIHL), currently residing in Chennai with his wife and two sweet little daughters.  He narrated the ‘story of his life’ and the quote attained greater meaning for me. And so, instead of delving into the quote, I shall dive into his unique and thrilling story.

When the call comes...

Right from his birth in Nagpur in 1973, Nitin grew up with Swami. His father was serving in the Indian Air Force and so was regularly transferred to different parts of the country. Wherever Nitin went, he always was ‘in touch’ with Swami. A regular in Bal Vikas classes, he took Swami as his God just like his parents before him. However, the amazing thing is that till 1989, 16 long years after his birth, he never had even one darshan of Bhagawan Baba! Little did he know that the first darshan would be the turning point in his life (just as it has been in several others’ lives as well).

How his first darshan happened in May 1989 is an interesting prelude to his story. Having completed high-school education, Nitin was bent upon pursuing a career as a doctor. He applied to many prestigious colleges and was having a tough time in deciding where he would actually study. In the meanwhile, his father who was keen that Nitin be under Swami’s love and care, applied to the SSSIHL for the Bachelors of Science course. Nitin was surprised when the application form for the Institute arrived home. This was definitely not a place he wanted to be in because he felt that a BSc degree would not fetch him any career worth its name.

When God calls, one has to respond
without a choice!

And so he protested. He did not fill out the application form. Instead, he just let it be in a corner of his study table. It was weeks later that his father found it, dusted it and filled it himself. The last date for the submission of application forms was already round the corner. He played an emotional card with Nitin,

“Son! I have allowed you to do whatever you like so far. Can’t you fulfill one wish of your father? I am not asking you to join this Institute; I just want you to apply and write the entrance test. Will you lose anything by just doing that much for your father?”

Nitin felt bad. He immediately took the filled application form and posted it to Puttaparthi. His father was happy and so was he because he knew in the inner recesses of his heart that he would never get a call letter - how could he if the last date for submission of application forms would elapse in the next couple of days? There was no way that the posted application could travel all the way to Puttaparthi from his current residence in Chandigarh in just 2 days. Nitin did not know then that when the Lord decides to enter one’s life, no force on earth can stop Him!

Within a week, he received a call letter. He had been selected to write the entrance examinations for BSc at the SSSIHL!

I came, I saw, I was conquered

Nitin and his father set out together for Puttaparthi. The bookings that they had got ensured that they would be arriving at Puttaparthi on the evening before the entrance examinations. However, a 10-hour delay (which was common in long-distance trains in India in those days) caused them to reach Dharmavaram on the day of the exams. Nitin had a bath on a platform at the Dharmavaram railway station itself before starting off for Puttaparthi in a rickety bus.

The duo landed right in front of the main entrance of Prasanthi Nilayam, at the temple of Lord Ganesha, the remover of obstacles. Praying to him and placing their luggage in the large accommodation shed (that existed next to the Ganesha temple those days), they rushed to the Institute campus. Nitin was just in time for the entrance exam! He wrote the exams and also attended the interview and group discussion. It would take nearly a week before the results would be announced.

NItin’s father had bookings to leave for Chandigarh. He was in for a pleasant surprise though. Nitin told him,

“Dad! You please go ahead, I shall stay on here, in this shed, till the results are announced.” Surprised but glad at this change of heart in Nitin, his father left. Nitin had no idea what made him speak thus .Today he knows that it was the case of Swami at work!

Swami was then at His Bangalore ashram, Brindavan in Whitefield, where He would stay till the end of summer in June. Nitin thought of seeing Him after the results were announced. Since he was free during the whole day, he volunteered to help in the ashram. He met and enlisted under a certain Mr. Wadegaonkar. Mr.Wadegaonkar was the unofficial head of the toughest service group of the ashram - the sanitation group. Inspired by him, Nitin eagerly and enthusiastically got involved in cleaning several septic tanks in Prasanthi Nilayam.

“Just a minute”, I interrupted his narrative, “you who did not want to even come to Puttaparthi, was now staying there and cleaning drains and septic tanks? How did you get this change of heart?”

“I don’t know what happened. But I just fell in love with the place and everything around. I loved sweating it out. I never felt that I was amidst excrement. I felt that I was surrounded by great love and divine peace! In fact, I was now sincerely hoping to get a seat at the SSSIHL.”

That is definitely some statement on the power of selfless service - it inspires, is self-sustaining and it transforms.

As was the practice those days, Nitin too accompanied all the volunteers of the sanitation group to Brindavan, Whitefield for blessings.

“We were told that Swami would give us padanamaskar. That did not happen. Something grander took place. As Swami walked out of His residence, I was entranced. I did not know what was happening to me but a surge of great joy and supreme peace welled within me. What I felt is simply indescribable. It was maddeningly beautiful and overwhelming. People say that when you see Swami, it is wonderful, when He sees you it is magical and if you get an interview it is absolute fulfillment. But that day, I felt fulfilled and complete in just seeing Him. I felt that I needed nothing else in life.”

Thus was Nitin conquered. It was love at first sight. And so, when Prof. Nanjundiah announced the names of the selected candidates in Swami’s presence, Nitin waited with bated breath. Sure enough, his name was called out too and he felt exulted. This, he felt, was the greatest achievement of his life - a blessing from the heavens above. He immediately dispatched a telegram to his father announcing the good news.

An unexpected death blow

On the 4th of June 1989, Nitin Kanade became a ‘Sai-student’. His happiness knew no bounds. He felt that he had never been happier in his life and looked forward to years of love with his Sai. But destiny had other plans.

It landed its first blow when the results of the XII grade Board Exams were announced. He had failed in Chemistry! This meant that he was ineligible to embark on any University course in India. He kept quiet about it but these things do not tend to remain quiet.

One day, in the middle of the class, he was summoned by the principal of the College, ‘Mahajan sir’. Mahajan sir told him that he could not be a student of the SSSIHL because he was not academically qualified to be one! The next day, Sri. K. Chakravarthi, the registrar of the Institute summoned him. Returning all the submitted certificates he told him to leave the institute and the hostel campus. There was nothing that could be done about it because those were the rules. The rules remain the same even to this day.

As a teary-eyed Nitin was wending his way out of the college building, the shutters of the exit door suddenly were closed. Nitin wondered what was happening and was told that Swami was driving on the road towards the hostel. He did not like any students loitering on the streets.

“The students must either be in college, in hostel or in the mandir. Why should they be loitering on streets?” He would often ask.

So, as a preventive measure, the college shutters would be pulled down especially when Swami went out for a drive.

As Nitin had been kicked out of college, Swami had come out and the shutters of the exit had been closed. Just like any of us, Nitin missed the symbolism in all these signs. He stood crying at the door, not realizing that Swami does not call based on qualifications. His call, in fact, is the greatest qualification in itself!

A lecturer of the college, Sai Giridhar, who knew this Truth about Swami and also knew Nitin’s plight, called him to a side. He told him,

“Don’t think all is lost. Swami is always there as the greatest refuge. He is going to the hostel to see the students’ music practice for Guru Poornima. You too go there. Things will change. You may not need to leave tomorrow...”

“But how do I go to the hostel when these doors are closed?” cried Nitin.

“Follow me”, said Giridhar sir, holding the ‘key’ to his problem.

Nitin sneaked out of the college as Giridhar sir took the risk to let him out. He ran to his hostel and scaled the wall since that gate was also locked. From there he went to the entrance of the hostel where he came face to face with the warden, Sri. Narayan Rao. And Sri.Narayan Rao’s face swelled in anger when he saw him. What was this student doing in the hostel when Swami had come there for witnessing the music practice? The fact that Nitin would be leaving and he could upset Swami with his ‘indiscipline’ (which could later affect the entire student community) only angered the warden even more.

“Stop there”, he commanded.

Was the warden Sri Narayana Rao (to Swami's immediate right) destined become an obstacle for Nitin (the
boy in spectacles to warden's right)? Read the second part to witness the unfolding of a drama divine.
Also seen to the extreme right of the photograph is Venkatachalam sir, the kitchen in-charge.

... to be continued in Part 2 located in the link below:

God does not call the qualified; God qualifies the called - Part 2

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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When one is made to move away from God to get closer to God...

From the frying pan into the fire

The last photo which Amey received before he was thrown out of school.

It was the conviction of Amey’s parents that whatever happens, one must not let go of the feet of the Lord.

“Even if the Lord kicks you, do not let go of His feet.”

That was their guiding motto and so, even though the rejection letter had reached them, they decided to do the only thing that they knew – rush to Puttaparthi for succor. It was the June of 1993 and due to certain happenings, the place reserved for the alumni of the Sathya Sai Educational Institutions was taken away and the seating privileges of the alumni were revoked. This was precisely the blow that Amey did not want at this time because he was desperate to gain some physical access to his dear Swami and tell Him about the misfortune that had struck him.

( This is actually part 2 of a riveting story. If you have come here directly, please visit the first part and then continue reading: Sometimes things go horribly wrong before going right. )

Within a day of Amey and his parents arriving at Puttaparthi, Swami left for Brindavan.  The trio followed him to the Bangalore Ashram but the same ‘seating rules’ prevailed there too and there was nothing much that Amey could do. He cried bitterly when his father inevitably informed him that it was time to head back home and enroll in a school before it gets too late. The prospects of having to face the many devotees back home who looked up to him and having to answer their queries terrified him even more. He only cried and cried more. A little respite came from the fact that his father too got a transfer from Bahrain to Abu Dhabi. At least, he would be spared of the uncomfortable questions.

Thus life went on, dragged on drearily in fact. Instead of being a special student at Swami’s school, Amey had become one among many in just another school. He now got very angry and that ire was directed on all the teachers who had ‘complained’ against him to Swami. How could he be said to have ‘unwanted connections’ and be a person of ‘too much talk’? And what was the meaning of him being ‘medically unfit’? Had not everyone seen how Swami had made him the apple of His eyes when he had to undergo the appendicitis operation? What could have been the malicious intent behind anybody wanting to chuck him out of what he considered as his whole life? These questions rankled him and along with the anger in his heart, tears brimmed in his eyes on a regular basis.

When, after two years, he applied for admission into XI grade, he again received a rejection letter. The parents were ‘advised’ not to bring their ward for admission in Puttaparthi. Suddenly, it dawned on Amey that because of the charges levelled against him, he might never ever get admission into Swami’s institutions again! That wrenched his heart and sank his spirits. He applied again for the degree in Bachelors of Commerce. Since he was a NRI (non-resident Indian), the ruled did not permit him to get admitted. So, it was disappointment again.

Some respite finally!

Amey joined the Seshadripuram college in Bangalore (Bengaluru now) and completed his degree in commerce. Following that, he took up a job in the same city. Alongside this professional progress also came the much-needed respite in terms of his relationship with Swami. Amey became part of the Brindavan Bhajan Group and, thus, every Thursday and Sunday when Swami was in Brindavan, he would get the coveted chance of sitting in the first row and singing for his Lord. Slowly but surely, Swami began to speak with him. Amey now began entertaining hopes of attaining his lost former glory in terms of endearing himself to his Lord. This endeavor of his seemed to get crowned with success during a visit to Puttaparthi.

In the darshan lines, Swami spotted him and called him by that endearing term,

“Appendicitis boy...”

Amey rushed and knelt before Swami.

“Where are you?” Swami asked.

“Swami, I have completed my schooling and Bachelors in Commerce.”

“Why did you leave the school? Why did you leave Swami? All the other students happily continued to study here...”

Amey had no answer. Once again, he felt his anger against those unknown perpetrators rising. But he chose not to tell anything to Swami. With a flick of His finger, Swami indicated to Amey to go to the interview room!

Two personal interviews followed in the next 3 days. And in an instant, Amey had become a celebrity again. Friends who often avoided him, now came back flocking to him. Even as his stock price shot beyond the ceiling, Amey did not get carried away. He knew that it was his newfound  stock price which had attracted the clamouring ‘investors’ - the same ones who had totally avoided him all these years.  He kept quiet and did not care one bit for the attention. However, he could not hold back when his former ‘best friend’ came to speak to him.

“Keep away from me. How is it that suddenly I have become dear to you? I am the same guy but your treatment has varied so much. You are simply an opportunistic and selfish person.”

His friend smiled and replied. And that reply was enough to pick Amey from the peak of his joy back to the same abysmal depths of depression, if not deeper.

Back to square one

Looking straight into Amey’s eyes, the friend replied,

“What could I do? The day you left the school, the class teacher revealed what had happened. When the list of new students had been taken to Swami for approval, he had specifically asked for the roll number of the ‘appendicitis boy.’ The teachers were sure that Swami wanted to confer some special blessing on you as they pointed out to your number. Swami simply struck your name off the rolls and said that you were no longer needed in the school! So, all of us naturally assumed that Swami did not want any of us to interact with you. Nobody knew why you were thrown out but this much is certain that Swami expelled you. We feared His ire if we spoke to you.”

Amey was now in another daze. He simply walked away from the friend and could not believe that it was his Swami who was behind all this. He felt deceived and let down completely. Thinking back about the past few days, he was in mixed feelings. While the sweet talk and interviews had convinced him that nothing had changed between him and his Lord, this revelation from his friend shocked him into thinking whether he had got things right. He left Puttaparthi and returned to Bangalore. He needed some time by himself to come to terms with the information he had received.

Acting in the MBA Day drama in 2004.

Being a positive person by nature, his thinking in solitude resulted in a pure thought with a steely determination,

“Come what may, I shall strive to become dear to the Lord. I don’t know what I did to make Him take this drastic step of kicking me out of school. But I shall strive for one more chance to redeem myself.”

Born from this resolve was the desire to join the MBA course in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. Even as he worked for Hewlett Packard, Amey constantly kept preparing for admission into the University. In the meanwhile, his prayers during the bhajans at Brindavan gained a new intensity. He kept praying,

“Swami, please give me one more chance and I shall prove myself worthy of your love.”

That pining was reflected in his singing and everybody agreed that this boy - Indraneel - was one of the best singers. (Yes, he had changed from Amey to Indraneel. To this day, he continues to be Indraneel for the people from Bangalore.) His thought, word and deeds were directed towards an MBA admission.

The achievement of the goal

His first two attempts at getting an MBA seat were failures. But that did not deter him and he kept trying, year after year. Exactly a decade after being sent out from the school, Amey, in 2003, achieved the first part of his dream - he was selected for the MBA programme in the Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. The ten years away from Swami had given birth to another realization in him.

“I came to know that there is nothing in the world, nothing in life other than the Lord, my Swami. I decided that I would do whatever necessary to be with Him and never lose contact with Him again. I realized that I would possibly have left Swami to pursue a career after my education if not for this decade-long stint in the ‘outside world’. Those 10 years made me realize the magnitude of the blessing of staying with Swami. It trained my focus on to Swami and Swami alone. Thus, when I got an MBA seat, I was delighted. This would be my re-entry into the world with my Lord and, this time, I would ensure that nothing ever takes me away from it.”

Even as he achieved the first part of his dream, he did not lose sight of his ultimate dream - to become near and dear to his Swami. Being his classmate, doing the MSc course as he did his MBA, I can definitely vouch for his efforts. Amey became a lead singer in the bhajan group, was regular in all the hostel disciplines, excelled in studies and was clearly in college to pursue a lifelong sadhana. Everybody felt that he was different - some even criticized his ‘needless adherence to the ideal way’ but that was surely born out of their own inability to be like him! Amey also became part of all the cultural programmed put up in mandir in the Divine Presence. He excelled as a speaker and actor.

His faith in Swami had been strengthened by a statement that he often read and and heard from Swami,

“I sometimes act as if I keep you at a distance; that is done to reform you quicker. When a stretch of road is being repaired, I go by another detour and I do not use that bit of road for some time. The purpose is to let the repair works proceed more quickly so that I may use that road again.”

Ah! That is the property of Divine Love alone. Even at the cost of being misunderstood and ‘hated’, Swami continues to do what is best for the individual. He knows that though you may criticize Him now and feel bad, in due course of time, the divine wisdom and love will be appreciated. While human love is concerned only with the comfort of the body and the mind, divine love sacrifices the body and mind at the altar of the soul. Divine love is concerned only with soul which is forever, rather than the body which keeps changing with every birth.

The cherry on the icing

In 2007, Amey was a research scholar, pursuing his PhD in Management. He had no idea that Swami had been silently witnessing his ‘growth’ and had decided to give him a pat on the back. The 21st of August is celebrated as the ‘MBA Day’ to mark the inception of this professional programme in the University. Every year, the MBA students would put up a drama in Swami’s presence on MBA day. However, in 2007, Swami scripted the day differently.

He told the vice-chancellor, A.V.Gokak that there was no need of a drama as the students had put up one less than a week ago (that would be the Independence Day Drama on 15th August). He wanted a couple of speeches instead. When the names of some senior teachers were presented to Swami to select as the speakers, Swami said that he wanted speakers who could sing very well. He wanted many songs in between the talks he said. Only two people from the MBA department fitted this bill - Amey Deshpande and Subash Subramaniam. That in itself gave a hint about Swami’s selectivity.

On the 21st of August, 2007, Amey and Subash delivered their talks. It was unbelievable to see that Swami was almost in tears after an hour. He said,

“I am feeling so full today that I am not able to speak. You have given me so much joy.”

For Amey, that was an acknowledgement of his decade-long efforts. Swami did not stop at that. He said that since He was not addressing the students that day, He would specially address them the next day morning.  Conferring the two boys with lots of blessings, Swami left after the bhajans.

That evening, the vice-chancellor visited the hostel to invite all the students and teachers to the mandir next morning for Swami’s discourse! Having done his duty, he sent everyone out but these two boys. Then, he told them,

“Swami was all the while remembering and speaking about you only. He said that He wanted such boys to stay with Him forever. He even discussed with everyone at the dinner table about the steps and measures to be taken to retain such excellent Sai-students. He has advised me to ask you this and so I am doing it in private. What would it take for you to remain here always? Swami is ready to pay any salary, give you any comforts and do everything possible so that you remain here with Him always. He says that students like you are His greatest treasure and He wants to retain you here forever. So, tell me, what is it that you seek?”

Amey was now in tears. Ten years ago, Swami had sent him out. Today, He was pleading him to stay and stating that He was ready to do anything to keep him with Him. Ah! What humility! The ten years ‘away’ from Swami had brought Amey very close to Swami. So, he answered the vice chancellor,

“Sir, Swami has given me more than I could ever imagine. It will be my privilege and opportunity to be here with Him forever. Please tell Swami that he has always given me even before I have asked. The fact that He wants me here forever is the greatest blessing that is conferred on me. It is Swami’s love and humility that makes Him seek this as a favor from me when, in reality, this is the greatest blessing that I can ever imagine.”

Chained to his dear Lord for Life...

And that was when Amey realized that at times, you are made to move away from your goal to achieve your goal! The next morning, Swami materialized a gold chain for Amey and ‘chained’ him to Himself for life. He did the same to Subash as well. During the discourse on the 22nd of August,2007, He presented the two students as ideals for the whole student community:

“Yesterday, the talks delivered by two of our MBA students were very good. Listening to them was a great pleasure to Me. We are very happy to have such good boys in our college. These two boys stood first in their class and were awarded gold medals. But you should not be satisfied with these awards and rewards. You should become good boys. Even the value of gold may diminish but not the value of goodness. Hence, you should cultivate goodness and earn a good name which will remain forever.

Students, you are like pure gold. You are all very good. But sometimes you encounter waves of disturbance and doubts in your lives. Many a time, your faith is shaken by some aberrations. Do not pay attention to these. They will go as they come. Come what may, you must remain fearless and steady. Your studies are meant to develop steadiness in you. Study to be steady. Keep this always in your mind. Look at these two boys. How happy they are! In fact, all the MBA students are good. It is not possible to say that one is good and the other is bad. Their singing also was so good. They are intelligent, virtuous and full of vigour. They will be an asset wherever they go. Such boys should stay back to serve the institution so that they can impart their goodness to others. There is nothing great in going abroad and earning a lot of money with your academic qualifications. Money comes and goes, morality comes and grows.”

Today, a decade after joining the MBA programme, Amey continues to be in Puttaparthi as a teacher. He continues to motivate and inspire love for Swami in the hearts of the students and is happy to have achieved his dream of being close to Swami forever.

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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Love between Meerabai and the Lord - From the source and not by force

Meerabai and Sathya Sai

Mirabai's love for Krishna is an ideal for how a devotee
must love the Lord.

It was a rainy day in the summer of 2006. The 11th day of May showered unexpected cooling drops on the simmering city of Bengaluru in India. As the gathering of more than 4000 people in the Sai Ramesh hall at Brindavan felt the coolness in their bodies, a gentle music filled the air, announcing the arrival of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. The darshan and bhajan session was about to begin and everyone in the hall seemed to experience a cooling in their minds and hearts as well!

As I sat in the front with the students of the University, I was filled with joy and excitement at the sight of the figure in orange. Needless the say, the energy of the bhajan session went up several notches. Five bhajans later, Swami asked for the bhajans to be stopped. He beckoned to renowned singer, Begum Parveen Sultana who was seated on the ladies side. The ever-ready devotee that she is, she took the microphone and, saluting Swami, began singing. It was an excellent rendition which included a couple of Meera Bhajans (songs composed by the legendary devotee and singer, Meerabai). The session concluded after half an hour with Swami receiving the Aarthi.

That day, during the Trayee session, Swami walked into the jhoola room (the room with the ornate swing) and congratulated all the students who had accompanied the artiste during her musical performance. He called out a group of boys whom all the students had come to recognize as the “Meera Boys”. This was a group of students of whom Swami always asked for Meera bhajans to be sung. Each of the four singers had specialized in a song of his choice and every time, Swami made each singer sing his song. So numerous were the occasions when we had heard this group of boys sing their song that whenever Swami asked for them, the whispers that would go around were,

“Swami has switched on MTV - Meera TV.”

That was the code that the students had mischievously developed. But the fact that a ‘code’ had developed showed that Swami had indeed been very intent on listening to the Meera Bhajans on a regular basis.

Lord of the Rings in Trayee Brindavan

Even as Swami called these boys, He began to encircle His right palm. He materialized two rings in a go and gave one to a singer and the other to the boy who accompanied the singers on the tabla. Once again, He waved His palm and materialized two more rings for the two other singers. Then, another wave and another ring followed for the fourth singer. Each of the five rings fitted the ring fingers of each student perfectly.

“Perfect size”, Swami said with a gleam in the eye and all of us just smiled in joy and wonder.

Swami turned to one of the singers, Koustubh Pare, and told him to sing his Meera bhajan. Koustubh closed his eyes, sat comfortably and began with the Alaap, the introductory notes,

“Krishna... Krishna... Krishna... Krishna” in the heart-rending raga, Darbari. I was in tears as I heard those introductory notes after which Koustubh began the actual song,

“Darshan Deejo Aao Pyare” (Dearest Krishna, Come and grant your darshan to me).

Even as he continued singing the song, something magical happened.

Swami told Koustubh Pare to sing the Meera Bhajan in Trayee Brindavan. ( Though the picture here is from Kodaikanal the settings appear very similar to Trayee Brindavan and so I have used it.)

Swami began to sing along with him - word to word! Swami also told the other singers to join in the song. It was a mesmerising experience. It is one thing for the devotee to sing out to the Lord, but to have the Lord reciprocate in the same measure with the same intensity is not something everyone gets a chance to see because the Lord is a silent lover and a silent worker. But today was a special day. Swami sang along,

“Life without you, for me, is like a lotus without water; a moon without the moonlight...How can I stay happy without seeing you my beloved?”

As He sang, Swami’s face became emotional. The intensity of feeling of the Lord for the devotee, Lover for the beloved and the Master for the disciple seemed to be echoed in His words. Ah! The bliss of that vision of the Lord pining for the devotee can never be suitably described. When that song was complete, Swami was not satisfied. He asked the other singers to sing the other bhajans as well. And once again, He was lost in those bhajans composed by Meerabai. I could not help thinking thus,

“Meerabai’s life is sanctified multiple times. She pined for her Lord and such was the intensity and love that she put into the songs that five hundred years later, the Lord seemed to be pining for such devotees. Blessed are you Meerabai...”

After those songs, Swami materialized two more rings for two more boys. It was evident that He was very happy. And it was clear that something about the Meera bhajans made Him so.

Meerabai’s matchless love for God

I remember on another occasion, during another Trayee session, Swami had explained beautifully to Koustubh the meaning and emotion of every line of the song which he used to sing. In fact, it had been Swami who had inspired him to compose the tune for that bhajan in the Darbari raag. He explained about the climax of the song in this manner,

“Meerabai feels that her life is worthless if she is unable to glimpse her Lord Krishna. She rushes to the threshold of the sanctum and begins to bang her forehead on it. She implores to Krishna that she is His servant forever and curses her mind and intellect that are blinding her to her heart where her darling resides. She continues to bang her head...”

As Swami explained this to Koustubh, He moved His head vigorously to show how Meerabai banged her head! He seemed to be totally lost in her devotion. He continued to say,

“Instead of death, she gets the vision of Krishna. She feels she cannot live without Krishna but even Krishna cannot live without her...”

And there is a tear in the divine eye!

I still remember, the very next day in Trayee Brindavan, a screening of the movie, Meera, with the legendary M.S.Subbalakshmi playing the lead role, was arranged. MS was an ardent devotee of Baba and Swami couldn't contain this double-devotee (Meera-MS) delight that the movie was. It was a moving session for all.

It made my respect and awe for Meera grow. I wished to develop an iota of her love and pining - something which even the Lord thirsted for!

As Koustubh confesses, many were the occasions when Swami had spoken to him about Meera’s pining. And on every occasion when he sang, Swami made it a point to tell him,

“You are singing Meera’s bhajan but you do not have those feelings.”

The force comes from the source and not forcibly

Such was Swami’s adulation of Meerabai that soon she grew into Koustubh's role model for devotion and pining. But try as hard he did, he was unable to plumb into the depth of his heart when he sang that Meera bhajan. And yet, every time he sang it, Swami would taunt him for the lack of feeling and intensity.

“You have to feel like Meerabai... You must have that intensity of love... It is not seen at all on your face...”

That was too much for Koustubh to take. He constantly prayed in his heart,

“Swami, you are the one who filled Meera’s heart with love divine. You must fill my heart too in the same way. Then alone will I be able to have that intensity.”

But at the same time, he put in his efforts too. The next time Swami told him to sing that bhajan, he began to contort and distort his face in a desperate attempt to build intensity and emotion. He was not feeling anything in his heart but he had to show intensity! So he literally ‘acted’ out the song. Everyone around were thoroughly impressed. Not Swami though!

“You got so many feelings on your face but there is not a single tear in your eye...”, He pointed out much to Koustubh’s embarrassment.

“Only if you feel like Meera, can you sing like Meera...”

That statement only redoubled Koustubh’s enthusiasm to develop along the lines of his role model. He began to spend more time dwelling on the meaning of the song. He related various lines of the song to his relationship with Swami.

In his own words,

“I developed an irresistible pining to become like Meerabai. Seeing how moved Swami would be, thinking of Meerabai, I too wanted to become dear to Him like Meerabai. I wondered when that would happen...”

This intense pining to develop a pining for the Lord had been a result of Swami’s constant taunts. However, the beauty lay in the fact that Koustubh had not got pressured to develop such pining. Swami’s taunts had only inspired him to become so. This is one subtle yet lovely aspect of Swami. He never tells anyone directly to do something and express disappointment when he/she fails to do so. Instead, He showers him/her with so much love that he/she gets overwhelmed. Then, Swami only states what He likes and dislikes. That is enough to make the student pine to do what He likes and keep away from what He dislikes!

His love is the reason why anyone gets inspired to do something. Nobody ever feels that he/she is doing something for Swami forcibly. Love is the Force that comes from the Source!

Koustubh had no idea then that he would be picked and chosen to accompany Swami to Kodaikanal in the summer of 2007. He had been to Kodaikanal in 2006 when Swami encouraged him to sing Meera bhajans. A second trip in a row was unimaginable for him. He had an even lesser idea that he would get his first opportunity to experience Meerabai’s love and devotion first hand during the trip. But as the saying goes, everything with the Lord happens at its perfect time.


Ready to go on to the second part of this beautiful story?

God's pining for a devotee: Story of Meerabai and Sathya Sai.

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