The story behind the 'Memoirs of a Sai Student' - Part 2

Time and tide wait for none

The blessing (or rather the lack of it) for the manuscript on my birthday was a powerful prodding for me to not give up on the idea of a book of student-experiences. By this time, Swami had blessed my parents also to come and settle down in Puttaparthi after my father’s retirement. Thanks to my parents’ presence, I was relatively freed from my daily ‘maintenance’ chores. In the free time thus obtained, I made a humble beginning for the book of my life. I had no previous experience in writing a book. I did not know where to begin and how to proceed. I knew that when God gives a task, He also gives the strength needed to achieve it. I only had to start making the efforts and things would evolve as per His plan. Thus, I opened my first-ever personal diary and read through the first twenty pages. Then, I began to write whatever I felt. The beginning had been made!

{This is the concluding part of a story that is midway through its revelation. If you wish to enjoy the full story, please start from the beginning at Part 1 in the link below:

The story behind the 'Memoirs of a Sai Student' - Part 1 }

But then, the inspiration was soon put on hold because I got pulled into writing another book. Recency effect made me start writing about the recently concluded trip to Delhi and Simla. The desire to publish a book had gotten so strong in me that my mind was offering easy avenues to complete a book. I had elaborate notes and hundreds of photos from the recent trip. So, I thought I would make a ‘quick book’ out of it! At the same time, a plethora of activities began at Radiosai for the upcoming 85th Birthday celebrations of Bhagawan Baba. I got fully immersed in the making of the “Message of the Lord” - a 30-part video-serial on the life and teachings of Swami. There was also a lot of activity on the production of the grand musical - Prema Pravaham. Added to these, a plethora of cultural programmes at Sai Kulwant hall by devotees from all over the world, kept me on my toes and I literally had no time to sitting calmly and writing a book.

A screen-shot of the second episode in the Message of  the Lord serial. The 30-part serial
has been received very well the world over and can be accessed from the Radiosai site. 

2010 was over in no time and in flowed 2011. Before I could understand the implications of the grand drama that the Lord played, Swami had left the physical. It is impossible to describe what I went through and I am sure that most readers will be able to empathise with me. My world seemed to have come to an end. Everything that I held most dear, seemed to have been cruelly snatched away from me. No amount of tears shed seemed to assuage the pain my heart was reeling under. I did not know what to do. I just cried more.

Pain-soothing balm

Swami is the most loving and compassionate one. He will Himself bear great pain but He is unable to bear the pain of those that love Him and miss Him. In His own special way, He reminded me of what I should do to get rid of the pain and vacuum that had enveloped my heart. The answer came in the form of a memory...

It was something that Swami had told us at the conclusion of an unforgettable group interview during Ramadan in 2006. It had been a very warm and lovely session and so, it was not surprising that at the end, all of us prayed to Swami that we should always be close to Him. He had smiled and said that ‘nearness’ might not be possible all the time. But He also added,

“Treasure and cherish all that you have received now. Keep contemplating on these moments and derive joy from them always. Be happy always.”

A memorable moment from the interview on Ramadan in 2006 where Swami advised us on how to be happy always
irrespective of His physical proximity.

‘Receiving’ from Swami is only one part of the blessing. Living and reliving what I have received is the way to be happy always. I had got my answer! Thus I started my blogging journey.

The story behind the 'Memoirs of a Sai Student' - Part 1

The ultimate author is God alone

The epitaph of Benjamin Franklin, the inventor who was
a printer by profession speaks of God
as the Ultimate Author!

It is almost impossible to understand how events will unfold in the future. The future is a deep mystery. It is also impossible to change the way things have happened in the past. The past is history. The present is something that I can influence. It is a gift from God. That is why it is called ‘the present’. However, it is not as if the ‘present’ is any less unfathomable than the ‘future’ or the ‘past’. Many times, I come across situations in day to day life that I do not understand; that frustrate me, irritate me, depress me and anger me. And I don’t understand why or how they are happening. While it is true that we have to focus on the present, that focus must be backed by a keen eye on the lessons from the past and a strong faith in the hope for the future. The present is, after all, the seed which has arrived from the tree of the past and is the precursor for the tree of the future.

The present serves as a very good point in time to look back in retrospect.  Thus, any time is a good retrospection time! When done honestly and sincerely, such retrospection leads one towards recognizing the immense blessings received. It also makes one humble and grateful. More than anything else, it makes one understand that the mind is too tiny an instrument to fathom the mysterious workings of the universe, let alone God!

I say all this because today, I am introduced to people as a ‘writer’ or an ‘author’. When that happens,  I smile within myself because becoming that was not in the wildest imagination of my most distant dreams. And yet, there are two ‘successful’ books along with two ‘popular’ blogs to my credit. The ego is a very subtle and silent fellow. He has the ability to disguise even selfishness as selflessness. Then, what can I say about the easier task of disguising pride and a swollen head as gratitude and a broad mind? Many have been the occasions when a pat on my back has resulted in my head swelling up! What modern science can explain this connection between the head and the back?

The "Memoirs of a Sai Student" about which this story is all about is available on Amazon also now. Just scan the
QR code in the right-hand corner of this image to go directly and buy it!

It is at such moments that I sit back and look at my life in retrospect, to realize that it has solely been the working of my best friend, master and God rolled into one, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, all through. I am a zero without Him; but a hero when I have Him by my side. That is why, I decided to write this story - as a reminder of that truth to myself and to anyone else who might mistake me for an ‘author’ or ‘writer’.

The source of all writing content

It all started when I joined the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School in 1998. I was convinced that I would be enjoying a rare privilege - of studying under the direct guidance of Divinity. I resolved to treasure each moment that I spend in Swami’s presence. As an expression of this cherishment, I started to maintain a diary in which I would record my thoughts, feelings and experiences almost on a daily basis. I imagined how it would have been had the cowherds of Krishna’s time, the apostles of Jesus or the disciples of the Buddha had maintained daily records of the happenings with Divinity. I felt that these diary entries would be of no less significance for they concerned the Avatar of the age, my Swami. In the nine years as a student, I accumulated more than half a dozen diaries after which I shifted to virtual version of the diary in Google Docs. When Swami granted me a job at Radiosai, I got the opportunity to maintain the Prasanthi Diary section of the site, which seemed just like an extension of my diary-writing habit. Thus I had two virtual diaries to maintain - the Prasanthi Diary for public consumption and my own personal diary for my record.