Living in the present - sure way to avoid all sorrows

Taken from the animation movie - Kung Fu Panda

Past is past.

Future is uncertain.

Present not an ordinary present; it is the ‘omni’present.

- Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Not once or twice, I have heard my Swami state this many times. In fact, I am so accustomed to hearing it that even as He begins with the first line, I have already completed the rest in my mind. However rote learning and repetition of a phrase is no indicator of one’s understanding of it. And I must say that the power of the ‘present’ that God gifts us is overwhelmingly immense. This ‘present’, if unwrapped and lived to the fullest, has the ability to bestow great calm and peace. All the fears, worries, sorrows and the like result from us living either in the past or future. If we are able to forever ‘be’, then we are always in a state of peace. But then, as Baba beautifully puts it, being is lost in becoming. We seem to be perpetual time-travelers, restless to get out of the present and live in the past or future!

Let us understand this with one example of what anyone will consider as a tragedy - the loss of a beloved due to death.

Just imagine, if someone who is dear to you is suddenly hit by a moving car and is in death throes. What do you do? You immediately rush with first aid and summon an ambulance. Once the victim is in a doctor’s custody, you call the family and close friends. The doctor comes out and says that the patient is critical and is in need of a few pints of blood. You do your best to organize the necessary blood. The patient is put on external support and is stable, though critical. You now begin a two pronged approach - taking expert advice and opinions from different sources on one hand and praying for the recovery of your dear one on the other. Hours and days pass this way when, one day, the doctor says that its up; the patient is no more.

You reel from the shock and sit in a daze. Now, the tears well up. Without realizing it, you are already crying. The tears turn bitter and within moments you are sobbing. It is definitely a vulnerable and emotional moment.

Isn’t this a very plausible scenario that has been drawn up? Only the yogis will disagree! Yet, this very scenario, when analysed in the light of wisdom (which is unemotional), holds a great lesson for all about the power of the ‘present’ or the ‘Power of Now’ as Eckhart Tolle puts it.

When a tragedy strikes, we somehow are given all the intelligence, energies and resources needed to respond - call the ambulance, administer first aid, call the family. A tragedy transforms us into generators of energy and prayers. All this happens because, believe it or not, we are living in the present and responding to the ‘blows’ as they come. However, analysing logically in the above example of the patient’s death, a change comes over when the dear one passes away. The shock that strikes us stops us from living in the present.

Our minds immediately move into the past - recollecting the wonderful moments with the person. The mind also travels to the future - picturing the void that will exist with regards to the person. And, in no time, we get tears in our eyes. Sorrow is born the moment we stop living in the present and dwell in the past or future. I don’t know about the idle mind being a devil’s workshop but it sure is a time-traveller!

Let me share an incident, a bitter-sweet episode with my master and best-friend that taught me this lesson of living in the present.

A fool on April 1st?

Closely on the heels of the memorable trip to Hadshi and Mumbai, Bhagawan had agreed to bless the devotees from Delhi and Simla with His Divine visit. As is the case whenever Swami plans a trip, there was excitement among the staff and students to see who would get the Divine opportunity to accompany Him. I had got the privileged opportunity to travel along with Swami on the Hadshi trip. I was hoping to get a chance to accompany Him on this trip as well. It was the 1st of April and Swami, sitting on the dais after the darshan rounds, summoned the former vice-chancellor, Sri.S.V.Giri. Giri sir had a thick file with him which he began to show  Swami. Sitting on the steps of the main dais, I was sure that the file contained the profiles of ‘probables’, the candidates for the forthcoming Delhi-Simla trip. I could also see the photographs of a few staff and students as the papers in the file were flipped. My excitement was stirred and I began to crane my neck to see whether my profile would turn up and get selected.

I could see that I was not the only one with such thoughts and feelings. Almost everyone was eagerly waiting to see if they would be selected. As I was watching, Swami seemed to stop at one particular profile. He looked long at it and asked Giri sir about it. Covering his mouth, Giri sir said something into Swami’s ears (that was to ensure audibility over the Veda chanting going on rather than to have a secret conversation) after which Swami nodded. Swami then said something which thrilled me. I could not hear Him but I could clearly read from His lips that He asked,

“Photographer?”

Giri sir nodded. Swami also nodded. I felt a calm descend on me. I had been selected.

It just needed another 15 minutes for the calm to be shattered. Swami finished going through the file and moved into the interview room. He sent word for a few students and staff members to gather in the bhajan hall. This would be the group selected for the trip, I understood. As the different names were called out, I eagerly awaited mine to be called too. That, however, did not happen and a set of about 20-25 people walked into the bhajan hall. The pieces of my shattered calm began to prick and poke me.

“Oh My God! You are not there?”

“Did Giri sir forget to call you or was it somebody else that he discussed about with Swami? But then, who else could be ‘photographer’?”

“How wonderful the Hadshi trip was! And that was only for 6 days. This is a 10-day trip and you will be missing it...”

“Has Swami left you out on purpose? Is this a message for you?”

I had no idea about the number of thoughts that flooded me. I closed my eyes in an attempt to shut out the various scenarios that were forming before me. My external calm was in sharp contrast to the internal storm. The session concluded after the bhajans. As I was walking back, I could see the beaming faces of those that had been called in. That just made me burn from within. No, it wasn’t jealousy. Maybe, I wouldn’t have felt so bad had I not ‘heard’ Swami ask, “Photographer?”. But the fall from heights of expectations is a real hard one and that pained me.

I felt like I had been fooled by destiny on the 1st of April. I felt like a fool no doubt, but a like a fool with a hurting heart.

My heart longed to pray to Him to include me too in the list of 'probables' to Delhi-Simla. 

The ‘present’ lost in the past and future

I was feeling so bad that I decided to get up on my knees the next day during darshan and ask Swami to include me in the trip. I had never asked for anything worldly from Swami. My disappointment was such that I decided to make an exception this time. I was stopped in my foolish line of thinking by my colleague, C.G.Sai Prakash. He told me,

“Aravind, if Swami has decided not to choose you, will you impose yourself on Him like this? Won’t it be embarrassing for Him if you ask Him when He has decided not to take you?”

I was thinking, that it was easy for him to advise me that way as he was already in the select group. However, what he said was also sensible.

“I am not trying to embarrass Him. But what if there has been a mistake... It can be rectified when I bring it to His attention right?”

“Aravind! Mistake?! Hear yourself now. Do you think that the Lord makes mistakes? No. Keep a calm heart.”

How could I keep a calm heart? I was feeling so bad and left out.

“Okay, I will not get up and ask Him. But I will certainly write a letter about the same.” I concluded.

And that is exactly what I did - wrote a letter expressing my strong desire to accompany Him on the Delhi-Simla trip.

My diary entry for the 3rd of April reads like this.

In the evening, I had the letter where I had expressed my desire to accompany Him to Delhi. As He passed by me in the lines, He looked at me and kept looking at me. But then, He did not take my letter and I felt that maybe it was wrong to pressurise Him. So I put the letter back into my pocket. When He came on the stage, I made no efforts to even show the letter to Him. I sat doing bhajans with all enthusiasm. Swami looked at me once or twice and smiled. I felt  happy that He was smiling at me and I also felt that He was happy with me not trying to pressurize Him. He received Aarthi and left.

As I returned to my room, I saw the letter in my pocket. In an instant, all the joy that I was having after that beautiful darshan session was gone. My mind again travelled to the past and the future and, in no time, I was sad again. I sat brooding over what I would be missing in the future. My ‘being’ was surely being lost totally in ‘becoming’.

But these are retrospective thoughts. This wisdom did not dawn on me then and I spent the evening and night being morose. Anybody who had received what I had received that evening at darshan would be happy but not me. I was on my time-machine - reliving the past which I felt would never come to me again and visiting the future which I felt was one big void. The present, God’s gift to every person, was ‘sadly’ forgotten.

...to be concluded in next part which is at the link given below:

Accepting God's Presents and Presence

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)

God's pining for the devotee - story of Meerabai and Sathya Sai

(This is concluding part of an ongoing story. Please read this after you have read the part 1 entitled - Love between Meerabai and the Lord- from source and not by force.

Thank you)

Swami and Koustubh in a conversation in Kodaikanal in the
summer of 2007.

Kodaikanal Trip 2007 - Koustubh realizes his aspiration

Koustubh’s story at Kodaikanal in 2007 was little different from what it had been in 2006. As it had happened on the previous trip, this time too, Swami (Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba) kept asking him to sing the Meera Bhajan, Darshan Deejo Aao, on a regular basis. And every time he sang, he longed to imbibe the love and devotion of Meerabai. That somehow, never seemed to be happening till a climactic day.

The evening bhajans had concluded and Swami was sitting with all the students in the small hall. This was the daily private session before dinner. He looked at Koustubh and told him to sing the Meera bhajan and Koustubh began. He closed his eyes and began to sing out the initial notes - Krishna... Krishna... These were the notes of Meera’s longing and pining and he tried to put in his best feelings and emotions as he sang them. Within, he felt as if Swami was gazing at him intently.

He opened his eyes and saw that Swami was indeed looking deeply into him. Their eyes met and Koustubh realized what he had been missing all this while. While his physical eyes had been closed and therefore blind to Swami’s gaze, his inner eye had been blind to the great love and longing that Swami had for him! In an instant, Koustubh realized that the Lord’s pining for His devotee was as intense if not greater than the devotee’s pining for Him. And here was his beloved Swami, looking with all love and pining, deep into his eyes. That was enough!

That was enough to well up tears in Koustubh’s eyes. Out of the blue, an eternal spring of love and pining sprouted in his heart. Once the devotee realizes how the Lord pines for him, reciprocal pining is spontaneous and instantaneous. The South Pole of a magnet is attracted to the North Pole of the magnet because the North Pole is attracted to the South Pole with equal intensity right? Such is the spontaneity of the ‘pining’ between the poles that one cannot say which is longing for the other.

As tears flowed down his cheeks, his vision became blurry. His voice choked and he was unable to sing. But he continued because his Swami was listening. As he wiped his tears what did he see? There were tears flowing down the Lord’s cheeks too! Those blobs of divine liquid were falling onto the robe and blotting it. That brought a fresh burst of tears from Koustubh’s eyes and those in turn did the same to Swami’s eyes. Would this beautiful leela end? Koustubh didn’t want it to for, in those few moments, he had realized the ONLY thing in life worth crying for and pining for. And when he was at the heights of his pining and crying for that absolute, he didn’t want things to come to an end. Swami was the first to wipe away His tears. He looked at one of the elders and said,

“Get me that gold-plated watch from inside. If I don’t give this boy something, he will not stop crying.”

Immediately, there was laughter. Koustubh stopped his song and his tears. Swami gifted him that  beautiful golden watch. Though he got the watch, the moment of great joy, blessing and divine peace when his gaze had met the Lord was over.

The Lord is as close to the devotee as the devotee is close to the Lord.
Logical right?

The Lord’s leela

In that single act, Swami had delivered another profound yet subtle message. A “golden watch” had stopped Koustubh’s tears for the Lord. When one is crying and pining for the Lord, the Lord gifts many a ‘golden watch’. We know that ‘golden watch’ by different names - wealth, relationship, career, fame. We often stop ‘crying’ for the Lord when that is given. Koustubh realized that in his life, he should never stop pining and crying for the Lord. He should never be satisfied with anything less than the ultimate blessing - the Lord Himself. Then only would he have become a devotee with the pining of Meerabai.

On His part, the Lord does this like the Divine Mother. When the infant is crying, the mother offers it toys and trinkets. The baby stops its crying and the mother continues with her work. It is only when the infant cries persistently, refusing to be placated by any toy or trinket that the mother stops whatever she is doing and picking up the baby, places it at her bosom. I felt inspired to be a ‘cry baby’ in that manner and always ‘cry Baba’.

Meerabai’s place in Sai’s heart

As stated earlier, almost on a daily basis, Swami heard Meera bhajans during the 2007 Kodaikanal trip. So, when He gave Rs.500/- to each of the students and told them to go shopping, one of them decided to buy a small Meerabai idol as a gift for Swami. The idol was small and cute and the boy was sure that Swami would like it.

Swami gifted the students with a session where He would examine what each of them had purchased. It is not as if He is interested in sundry shopping but He uses every opportunity to give chances of Divine interaction. At the end of half and hour, after all the boys had shown their purchases to Swami, Sai Giridhar went to Swami with the Meerabai idol. He showed it to Swami and Swami placed a hand on the idol. He then said,

“It is nice. Keep it.”

Giridhar clarified,

“Swami, this is a gift for you - Meerabai. Please keep it with you...”

Swami smiled and returned the idol. He then made a statement which I am sure enthralled the soul of Meerabai. Swami said,

“Idi verum bomma ra, Meerabai naalone undi.” (This is only an idol. Meerabai is in me. She is not separate from me.)

There was a silence after that and everyone could only marvel at the saint’s devotion to her Lord.

Sai Giridhar shows the idol of Meerabai to Swami in Kodaikanal. 

The Meerabai drama

Swami’s penchant for Meera bhajans kept growing as days passed by and that was a great blessing for Koustubh. He kept singing the song Darshan Deejo Aao very regularly. The other members of MTV (Meera TV) also got many chances to sing for their Lord. Since Meerabai seemed to make Swami so happy, the students made sure that each and every programme they put up for Swami had at least one Meera bhajan in it. The same line of thinking inspired the students of the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School to put up an entire drama on the life of Meerabai.

The drama was scheduled for January 2008 and Sri Ram Mohan Rao, my wonderful English teacher from school, called me on my cellphone,

“Aravind... I am calling you because I need a favour.”

“I would be happy to do anything for you sir.”

“Our school students are putting up a drama. Would you mind going through the script and help in directing it?”

Soon, I was neck-deep in the drama which had been titled “Bhakt Meera”.

Going through the script, I realized that though the drama had some Meera bhajans in it, the song, “Darshan Deejo Aao”, about which Swami had spoken so much in Trayee Brindavan, was not present!  I immediately suggested that the song be included. Since it was a long scene, the screenplay had to be created. No points for guessing what I did! I opened my diary and went through the description that Swami had given about Meerabai’s pining. We planned a screenplay together. It was just as Swami had narrated with Meerabai banging her head at the threshold of the sanctum sanctorum during the climax of the song.

The scene was coming out well. The next question was - Who would sing that song? I immediately suggested that it should be Koustubh. But how could a male singer lend voice to Meerabai? That was a dilemma. In my heart, I was convinced that “Darshan Deejo Aao” was Kaustubh’s special since Swami had made him sing it so many times. So, I wanted him to sing. I managed to convince Ram Mohan sir and all the others too about the idea. When we rehearsed, many smiled and some laughed at the discrepancy of a male voice emanating from a despondent Meera. I just ignored it and thankfully, Koustubh too adopted the same stance.

The 31st of January 2008 saw the school students stage the Meerabai drama in Swami’s presence. Everything went on pretty well and then came the time for the final scene.

Final scene

Something totally different happened as the final scene began. This was a scene that had always evoked muffled laughter. But even as Meerabai came crying out to Krishna and Koustubh’s voice rented the air with the notes “Krishna... Krishna... “ the whole atmosphere got transformed. Everyone sat enraptured because their Lord, their Swami was in tears. It was as if He was unable to bear Meerabai’s plight! And when Swami was like that, nobody even noticed that Meerabai was singing in a ‘male’ voice. Everyone was simply lost in her devotion and the devotion being exuded by Koustubh.

Meerabai went to threshold, in front of Krishna and began to ‘bang’ her head. The song built up to a climax and it would be a matter of another 15-20 seconds before Krishna would make an appearance to grant Meerabai her soul’s longing. But Swami was unable to bear the intensity of her pining. Even before ‘Krishna’ could come to her, He called out,

“Meerabai... Come...”

The boy who was playing the role of Meerabai saw that his Swami was calling him. Leaving the temple, he ran to Swami on the dais and Swami waved his palm, materializing a beautiful gold chain for ‘Meerabai’. As He placed the chain around ‘her’ neck, the song concluded and everyone in the audience applauded. It was hard to tell whether the Lord had ‘chain’ed the devotee or the devotee had ‘chain’ed the Lord!

Of course, Meerabai went back to complete the drama and offer herself to Lord Krishna who made an appearance. The  narrative and details of this drama is captured in the 31st January section of Prasanthi Diary.

As I wiped tears from my eyes that day, I thanked Swami for giving me a chance to be part of this drama. I also expressed my gratitude for having got the opportunity to see what true devotion is. Swami went down from the stage to grant group photos to the students. Even as I was taking the pictures, I could see Koustubh from the corner of my eye. His face reflected supreme happiness and peace - something that comes from only from union with God.

(Below here is the video of a concert by students at Brindavan, Whitefield on June 23, 2013. In this concert, Kaustubh Pare sang his favorite Krishna song, the Meera bhajan.)

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)