When God gives a task, He also gives the strength to complete it

Life at Lomalinda  

For a new reader, the sub-head will appear to indicate a fresher’s experience at a foreign university. It is not! It is actually the continuation of an adventurous, miracle-filled journey of a Sai student, Praveen Vemula. This narrative is actually the third part. To get the full juice of the story, read this part after the first two parts.

Part 1 is - God’s Grace makes everything possible.

Part 2 is - No God, No Miracles; Know God, Know Miracles.

Okay, it is now time to do justice to the sub-head that was announced several sentences before.

So, the two lads rushed themselves for admission into Lomalinda University. The Sai devotee at USA packed for them lots of frozen Indian foods to help them make a gradual transition into the different foodstuffs they would have to eat, halfway across the globe from home. Praveen suddenly realized another great advantage of having ‘intuitively’ selected Lomalinda University - being a Seventh Day Adventist organization, it was completely vegetarian in its diet! This suited him perfectly and he mentally sent gratitude to Swami.

Soon, Praveen was face to face with the dean there, Eric.S.Anderson who told the boys that they were way behind in their academic schedule. They had to complete 54 credits and more than a month had already elapsed. They were told that if they worked a little harder, they would be able to complete the course in 2 years. Praveen protested,

“But sir, we have to finish and be back in India within an year. That is our instructions.”

“That is simply impossible. Even in the event of a miracle taking place and you able to do everything else in a year, how will you cover up 6 credits that you have already missed. That course on accountancy is not up for grabs till the first quarter, next year. At least to complete that you will have to stay more than a year!”

“Sir, we will finish everything within a year.”

“How?” asked a bewildered dean.

“We shall inform you soon sir”, said Praveen who had no idea about how they would be doing the same.

And then, Swami stepped in, through a ‘coincidence’, a miracle where He chose to remain anonymous. The San Bernardino Community College which was nearby was offering the exact same course in the second quarter! The boys came up with a crazy plan which struck the dean dumb with its audacity.

“If permitted, we would like to enroll side-by-side for the accountancy course in San Bernardino. That apart, we will do 18 credits every quarter so that, on the whole, we finish 54 credits in 3 quarters itself!”

The boys were brimming with confidence and the dean agreed to allow them exemption for the 6 credits if they promised to complete the same in the other college. He wanted to see whether they were really serious in their commitment.

Flying success

The sweat and toil one becomes capable of putting in while doing something for God is simply amazing. Even though Praveen knew that Swami would do whatever was best, he did not simply rest. Day in and day out he did his best. As always, Swami did the rest! The result? The boys actually completed all the 54 credits within just 3 quarters and enrolled for a months internship which was compulsory!

The dean was so impressed that he agreed to allow the lads graduate in the same year though the actual certificates would arrive the next year during the convocation. But the dean was not the only person impressed. The President of the Marian Regional Medical Center, Santa Maria, Charles J Cova was also mightily impressed. In fact, he offered both the boys US $5,000 each as stipend for their 3 months of work. Praveen was candid in expressing his thoughts,

“Sir! We are happy that you are pleased with us. But Swami sent us here to study and not earn. We would like to donate $5,000 each to the Medical Center itself to be used for patient welfare.”

Mr.Cova presented both the lads with a special personalized President’s commendation along with the certificates which recognized the excellent work they had put in for 3 months.

Homecoming

Having conquered degrees and won hearts, Praveen leaned back comfortably against the seat in the flight back home. When he landed back in Puttaparthi, it was the 16th of September, 2002. He was excited and thrilled about meeting Swami the next day which would in fact EXACTLY mark 1 year since the departure from India! Yet another instance of His word being respected by all the forces in the Universe.

On His part, Swami seemed so excited that His boys were returning. He spoke to many elders and devotees about them. He was so proud of them and seemed to be just waiting to meet them. That day, Praveen remembers, when they went for darshan, Baba had already completed it! He was waiting for them. He welcomed them with open arms. The interview that followed was so filled with divine love.

God is always like that. He plans the script, selects the participants of the divine drama, teaches each one how to ‘act’, makes corrections when necessary, encourages and supports with love. And when the masterplan drama is acted out, He is there in the audience, clapping hard with the joy and excitement of a child!

The strength to do the task

Swami wanted Praveen to immediately join the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences in Prasanthigram for an internship of 6 months. In fact, Swami accompanied him to work on the first day. He picked Praveen in His own car and drove towards the hospital. Praveen simply did not know what to say or do when such grace was being showered on him. He got down with Swami at the hospital. There was a small electric buggy waiting to take Swami. Swami beckoned to Praveen to sit by His side.

The Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Science, Prasanthigram.

They drove in the massive hospital and arrived at the Intensive Care Unit. Swami dropped off Praveen there and blessed him saying,

“Work well.”

“Swami, please be with me always”, the boy prayed.

Swami smiled and pointed him towards his workplace. Praveen turned around and saw the board - “ICU” it said!

Yes! His Swami was seeing him always! The message reached home and Praveen too smiled.

“Swami, please ensure that I do the work properly.”

Swami then made a revelation,

“When I give you a task, I will automatically give you the strength to do the task.”

With that blessing, Swami left.

When the great devotee Hanuman was getting ready to jump from the shores of India to Lanka in search of Mother Sita (who had been kidnapped by Ravana) was asked by the Vanara army (the army of monkeys, bears, squirrels)

“Do you think that you will really be able to jump across the ocean?”

Hanuman’s reply was,

“It does not matter what my abilities and capabilities are. When the Lord Rama, the resident of my heart, has given me a task, He will definitely give me the strength I need to accomplish it. Have no doubt in that.”

Hanuman completed the task in a thumping fashion. And when he returned, Lord Rama went straight to him and hugged him to his bosom and told him,

“You are closest to my heart.”

At that point in time, the statement was true physically for Rama’s heart and Hanuman’s heart were almost beating together. But that statement has remained true ever since and wherever there is a temple of Lord Rama, Hanuman is inevitably present by the side. In fact, in no Rama temple will you find a monkey ever being shooed away. Monkeys are welcomed and worshipped. That is the result of Rama’s love on Hanuman and Hanuman’s reciprocation of the same.

The same is the case with the Swami’s students. Swami has showered so much love on some of them and some of them have reciprocated the same. That is why all the students are appreciated and held high around the world!

Swami did not stop there. When the actual degrees arrived, Swami organized a special function during Guru Poornima 2003 and felicitated the students. In fact, Swami Himself presented the degree to Praveen.

Praveen receives his degree in health administration from Bhagawan Baba. 

Dear reader, the objective of this narrative is not to elicit admiration and adulation for Praveen. The objective is to make each one us pine to be His student. And there is a difference between being a student of the Sathya Sai Institute and being a Sai Student. Can each one of us become a Sai Student?

That was the story of how Vemula Praveen rose from being an intelligent student to being the assistant-Director of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences, Bangalore.

No God, No Miracles; Know God, Know Miracles

An interview to remember

Those of you who have arrived straight over here, it is suggested that you go through the first part of this episode entitled, “God’s grace makes everything possible”, so that further reading of Praveen’s story makes better sense and is more enjoyable!

Photo Credit: Sathyasaiwithstudents.blogspot.in

Having successfully cracked the GRE examinations, the two lads applied for a host of Universities in USA for the course in Hospital Administration. From among the several universities that offered the course, the duo chose the Lomalinda University based on ‘instinct’ and ‘gut feeling’. Then, they happily drove back to Puttaparthi, to their Swami (Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba) who awaited them.

They found themselves in the interview room with a few elders after the next darshan session itself. In the interview room, Swami said,

“These boys did not study anything at all. They just went to Bangalore and ate well.”

Praveen had a look of shock on the face. He was sure that he studied quite hard - well maybe not that hard! But he was dead sure that he did not simply ’eat well’ as Swami alleged. So, with a blank face, he tried to shake his head to negate Swami.

“What is your weight? Tell me”, Swami asked.

Praveen recollected that it was about 75 kilograms the last time he had checked. He stated that figure.

“Let me check”, said Swami, going in and fetching a weighing scale!

Praveen stood on it and the scales tipped over 80 kilograms.

“See! What did I say? He just ate well. I had to do all the studies!”

Now that was a statement that Praveen simply could not refute. It was definitely Swami’s grace that had seen him sail through the GRE and had fetched him the miraculous score. The leg-pulling did not cease. A smiling Swami looked at both the lads and asked,

“Now that you have eaten well, can you both together lift at least me off the chair?”

That was a tempting offer! A great chance from Swami. Being able bodied they were sure to be able to raise the puny 108-pounds frame of Baba. They agreed and Swami let them try. With each placing one hand behind His back and the other below (like a chair), the boys tried to lift Swami. But try as hard as they did, Swami did not budge a millimeter. He was simply smiling. After a few moments of intense effort, Swami said,

“It is alright. I shall get up myself.”

Effortlessly, Swami got up from the chair and opened the interview room door. The interview was over!

TOEFL trouble?

Soon, Praveen came to know that there was another test to be taken - the TOEFL (Test Of English as a Foreign Language). He was worried now. It was not as if he had problems in English. His worry was something totally different. Having spent all his life with microscopes and petri-dishes, Praveen had almost no acquaintance with a computer. (In the 1990s, one could actually get educated without touching a computer! How will the children of today ever believe it?)

But hey! Wait a minute! What has knowledge of the computer got to do with the TOEFL examination?

Nothing actually. However, one of the sections of the test is writing an English essay. And however logical a QWERTY keyboard might seem to regular computer users, it was an absolute mess of letters for Praveen. He had not the slightest idea on how he would be able to type out huge essays on a keyboard. It was too late for him to pick up typing!

And then came another ‘miracle’. The Lomalinda University decided that since the students were post-graduate Masters who had obtained very good scores in the GRE, they must be good in English! And they were simply exempted from the test. So, the selection of Lomalinda University based on ‘gut feeling’ turned out to be a good one! Once again, Praveen simply smiled knowing whose hand was behind all this. When the string-puller for the universe is pulling strings in a divine manner, what can ever go wrong? And so, all one has to do is to make God happy; the rest will simply follow.

A passport without the visa is not of much use

Just when everything seemed set to launch off towards the US, came another hassle that almost every Indian wanting to go to the US faces - the Visa troubles (maybe that will change in times to come).  The next unbelievable sequence of events started happening in Praveen's life. To start with, he had to go to Chennai for the Visa interview.

It was the day before the actual interview and he was trying to get everything in order. Equipped with the documents, self-confidence and faith in Swami, Praveen slept at night. The next day, hell broke loose - in the United States of America!

It was the 11th day in September 2001 and jihadi terrorists rammed aeroplanes into the twin towers of the World Trade Centre in New York! The US Consulate in Chennai shut down for 3 full days and Praveen’s stay in the South Indian city extended. The interview was now scheduled for the 14th and Praveen faced one of the most hostile sessions ever. Since he was not on scholarship, he was questioned about his educational funding. The terms 'Swami', 'God’s grace', 'devotees’ love' and the like had a negative impact on the lady who was almost interrogating Praveen. She simply stamped a big ‘REJECT’ on the Visa and chucked him out of the office.

It was with despair that Praveen returned to Bangalore. He had no clue how he would show his face to Swami. After so much had been done, the trip seemed sabotaged at the last step. The hopes of the two boys too had come crashing down like the twin towers in New York. The devotees of Baba decided to do everything possible. They requested the then chief-minister of Karnataka, Sri. S.M.Krishna and the then vice-president of India, Sri Krishan Kant (both devotees of Swami) to pull a few strings. But all that was to no avail! It was the secretary to the chief minister of the state of Tamil Nadu (where the US Consulate was located) who brought the bad news,

“The US rules are such that once a Visa application is rejected, one cannot re-apply for another 6 months. Though the people at the Consulate are simply amazed at the influence being wielded by these two lads, they simply cannot do anything about it, they say.”

When God steps in

Photo courtesy: sathyasaipath.wordpress.com

Everything seemed lost now and the Tamil Nadu state president for the Sri Sathya Sai Organizations conveyed the ‘bad’ and ‘sad’ news to Swami. In Puttaparthi, Swami simply smiled and sent a message,

“Tell the boys that they will get their visas by 3:00pm.”

Everyone, including the state-president, wondered how this would happen.

A sudden twist of events took place. The US Consulate, on that very same day, 14th of Spetember 2001, was attacked! It was well-covered in several newspapers and the NDTV website screamed "86 arrested in US consulate attack in Chennai". The Consulate requested the government of Tamil Nadu for added protection. Such requests are always give and take. Can you guess what was the reciprocal request from the Tamil Nadu government?

Yes! Accept the Visa applications of Swami’s boys and security will be provided! The people at the US Consulate must have really wondered who this Praveen was! Just as Swami had said, the Visas were approved and Praveen picked up his visa gingerly. The time was exactly 3:00pm!

Both the boys returned to Puttaparthi and all they could do was simply fall at Swami’s feet. Swami seemed surprised. What had He done, He asked! God knows everything but acts as though He knows nothing. Man knows nothing and yet acts as though he knows everything.

Another problem; another divine solution

Finally came the day when the boys had to actually leave for USA. Needless to say, it was quite a tearful one for Praveen. He had simply been overwhelmed by Swami’s love and was just not ready to let go of it for 2 full years.

“But Swami, you said it would be a short trip. I cannot stay without you for two full years!”

“It will not be two years. You will complete it in 1 year”, was Swami’s reply.

At any other time he might have asked, “How Swami?”, but now, Praveen was wise enough to know that nothing is impossible for God.

Swami blessed both the boys and even gifted them with suits to wear in the US!

Praveen wears his new suit and poses alongside his dear Swami before embarking on the journey.

Another problem cropped up now! The ticket to Los Angeles was booked via Singapore. Though the tickets for Singapore-LA leg of the journey had arrived, there were no tickets available for India-Singapore part of the journey! The flight had to be taken to LA because the course had already begun nearly a month before in Lomalinda! But what was to be done?

Pray to the Lord. (Where would we be if not for prayer?)

It was an incredible sequence of events that happened. One devotee from India seeks help from another devotee in Singapore. This devotee in Singapore is a doctor and has a scheduled appointment with the Chairman of Singapore Airlines! Tickets are issued immediately. But how to reach them to India? Here comes the awesome way things were done - the tickets were faxed with a letter explaining the special circumstances. This would let the boys in through the security check at the airport. The actual tickets were sent with the crew of the Singapore Airlines flight which was arriving from Singapore!

It was with gratitude to Swami in his heart that Praveen sat at the window, gazing out at nothing in particular. He was filled with thoughts of the amazing things that had happened to make this flight possible.

A day later, on the 18th of September, Praveen was on American shores. He had to rush immediately to enrol in the University. Amazingly, there was not even the slightest sign of jet lag. He was as fresh as a flower. And when he was asked how he managed not to get fatigued, he replied,

“Know God, Know miracles!”

... to be concluded in the next part entitled

When God gives a task, He also gives the strength to complete it.  

For all readers:

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God’s Grace makes everything possible

God has a Masterplan for each and everyone

Each person who comes under the divine umbrella of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba by becoming a student of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning has stories of amazing grace to share.

The world might judge some experiences as awesome and others as ‘not-so-grand’ but to the student who has gone through it, the experience is always thrilling and inspiring. The experience that is about to be related is an experience which is memorable for the student as well as for the readers. It is an experience of great highs that were punctuated by deep lows. Above all, it is an experience that shows beyond doubt the power and majesty of divine grace. This is the story of Sri Vemula Praveen. 

Praveen completed his X grade schooling at the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School in March 1995. Being confused about what he should pursue for higher studies, he sought guidance from his dear Swami. Swami told him to pursue Bio-Sciences as a subject and that is exactly what he did for five years after that. He completed his under-graduation with honours in BSc (BioSciences) and also won the academic gold medal from the University. He received his gold medal from Swami’s hands and was one happy person during the convocation ceremony.
 

A thrilled Praveen receiving the gold medal for excellence in BioSciences from the
revered Chancellor of the Institute - his dear Swami.

What next? That was the question that he posed to Swami  and the reply he got, stunned him,

“Do Management”, Swami said and that was it.

Thus it was that Praveen decided to shift his line in academics and concentrate on getting an MBA seat in the SSSIHL. He revisited his mathematics textbooks and brushed himself up on his logical and analytical reasoning abilities. One month of intensive and extensive preparations later, he was ready to take on the entrance examinations of the Institute.

He turned out to be one of the toppers in the examination. He cleared the group discussion easily and now faced the elite interview panel which had Sri S.V.Giri, the Vice Chancellor of the university then, on it. The Vice Chancellor expressed surprise at Praveen’s decision to take management when he was a gold medallist in pure sciences. He told him that they would like to welcome him with open arms into the Masters course in Biosciences and that the University would support him in his doctorate later on. Praveen insisted on doing management but the Vice Chancellor refused to buy into him. Thus, he did not get the MBA seat.

Praveen took recourse to the only support he knew - Swami. During a darshan session, he told Swami,

“Swami I am being refused a seat for management studies. What must I do?”

“Do Biosciences”, was the straightforward reply.

(I was reminded of my own experience of how Swami guided me into taking BioSciences.)

No doubt he was puzzled at the Divine logic and directions, but Praveen dutifully enrolled for the MSc course in Biosciences and won the gold medal there too! Though he had completed such a brilliant academic career, he had only one wish - to stay with Swami and serve Him in any way possible. 

Praveen was gifted an emerald-studded, gold ring by Swami when he
topped the exams during the 2001 Summer Course in
Indian Culture and Spirituality.

That is the kind of ‘magic’ Swami weaves. Staying with Him, one realizes that there is more to life than just careers, relationships and money; more to a human being than just being a superior animal! So, Praveen expressed his desire to Swami during an interview and Swami told him,

“Do PhD for a while. I shall give you another task.”

In the interview room, along with Praveen, was another student who had completed Masters in Chemistry. Swami gave the same advice to him too. From that day on, the two boys seemed to be linked in their fortunes!

The ‘Other Task’

As guided by Swami, the lads wanted to enrol themselves into the PhD programme of the Institute. Before that, they had to do some pre-study to freeze on the topics for research. Thus, they spent hours in the library, browsing and perusing through Biosciences and Chemistry books by the dozen. Just as they seemed to be zeroing onto some kind of focus areas, they were called in for another interview by Swami.

“I want you to go to America to do a small course”, Swami surprised them with His statement.

“Swami, I want to be here with you. I don’t want to leave you and go so far away - that too America.” That was Praveen’s lament.

“It is only for a short while”, Swami reassured, “and after that you will be back with me.”

Swami blessed the boys and told them that they would have to write a ‘small’ test before they could join the course in USA. Having been reassured by Swami, Praveen said,

“Whatever is your wish Swami. We shall write the test and do the course.”

Thus ended that interview.

A few days later, the boys were called in for yet another interview. This one was in the morning.

“The small test that you have to take will be held in Bangalore. Get ready to leave immediately.”

With that, Swami invited the boys to His personal dining hall. He made them sit at the table and had breakfast served for them. Praveen was just not able to eat. He was drinking in the beautiful form of Swami!

“Eat”, Swami prodded him and also had several dishes served into his plate. It was about 7:30 am. Seeing the clock Swami told them to catch the 8 am bus to Bangalore where they would be received by a devotee who would make arrangements for their exams. With only thirty minutes left to get to the bus-stand and into the bus, the boys hurriedly took namaskar and took leave of Swami. By lunchtime, they were in Bangalore. It was for the first time in his life (in August 2001) that Praveen came to know about the examination he had to take. It was called the GRE

(Graduate Record Examinations) - a standardized test which is an “admissions requirement” for many graduate schools in USA and in other English-speaking countries. He had no idea then that it is a real tough exam.

 

What is hard for us is easy for God. So when God says,
"small test", BEWARE! :)

The devotee of Baba in Bangalore was well-endowed and well-connected. He got the boys in touch with a Training Centre to help them prepare for the exam. They had just 7 days to take the test. Within hours of landing in Bangalore, they were face to face with the head of a reputed GRE-Coaching Centre in Bangalore.

“Well, what is the length of the course that you would like to take? We have one for 9 months, another for 6 months and the real quick one is for 3 months.”

“I want to write the exam in a week from now”, Praveen quipped.

“That is simply impossible!” said the exasperated head.

That was when Praveen explained the special circumstances to him. It was Baba’s command, he said, and he was merely fulfilling it. The magic worked. Reluctantly, the person said,

“Okay! May He bless you with success. Let me have your passports then...”

The first challenge

That statement elicited a blank look from Praveen for he did not have his passport.

“How did you dream of writing the GRE exam without even having a passport? Even Baba cannot help you now!” mocked the head at the Training Centre.

(The rules have been modified since. Back then, it was compulsory for the applicant to have a valid passport.)

The two lads returned to the devotee’s home. The devotee made arrangements for them to leave for the passport office. Now another problem arose - Praveen did not have any document as his ‘proof of address/residence’. He called up his former principal at the undergraduate campus of the Institute in Brindavan. ‘Coincidentally’, he had been provided a room in the campus itself to give him access to the library and aid his preparation for the exams. So, the principal wrote a letter to “whomsoever it might concern” that he knew Praveen well and he was currently residing on campus. That would never be sufficient but something was better than nothing because Praveen did not have time to apply for anything else.

With this flimsy proof of address and a prayer in his heart, Praveen landed at the passport office in Bangalore. There, it was outright rejection followed by Praveen narrating his story on how Swami wanted him to leave to USA immediately. Since it was deemed as an odd (or unique as one takes it) case, he was referred to the head of office there. Going through the case, the person there said,

“I have heard a lot about Sathya Sai Baba though I have never seen Him. I am really impressed by the humanitarian works He is doing and is inspiring. I have always wanted to do something for Him. Yesterday was supposed to be my last day in office here before my transfer. Maybe to do one good deed for Baba, my transfer is delayed by a day. Don’t worry. Your passports will be ready in a couple of hours because, after that, I have to leave!”

The second challenge

The next day, the head of the Training Centre dropped his jaw in awe when the passports were presented to him.

“How on earth did you get a passport in under 18 hours?!”

“Sir, God’s grace makes everything possible”, said Praveen with a smile.

Both of them were made to take a mock GRE test. At the end of gruelling hours, the lads came out with serious faces. Their scores were about 400-600 out of a maximum of 2,400 in the multiple-choice test.

“You may have God’s grace but we cannot allow you to sit for this GRE test as our candidates. Our reputation will get damaged. However, I shall allow you to use our facilities to write the exam.”

Calls were made to find out whether there were any free seats for the examination. They found out that there were the only two seats available for the next ten days and they were available on the coming Thursday! Praveen did not miss the Thursday connection with Swami and readily agreed to the day. Since the Centre was not ready to coach them, they went to the Brindavan campus of the Institute and picked up a few books from the library to study. They spent about 5-6 hours a day studying for the next 5 days.

The D-day dawned. Praveen sat in front of the computer, nervous and scared. As the questions were presented, it felt like a planetarium show for him - seeing stars during daytime! After a while, he gave up thinking. With a prayer on his lips, he randomly selected choices. At the midway break, he exchanged depressed looks with the other student who had an equally depressed look on his face. Both then went back to their tests and completed them. The computer asked for the Universities to which the score had to be submitted. Praveen had been given a list of 6 Universities and he keyed in those names.

He hit enter and waited for the system to tabulate his score. When the score blinked on the screen, he almost collapsed in shock. It read, 2080/2400!! And his friend? He got 2100/2400!!

Needless to say, everyone concerned were shocked. 

“God’s grace makes everything possible”, Praveen repeated, the smile coming back to his face now. From among the several universities that offered the course, the duo chose the Lomalinda University based on ‘instinct’ and ‘gut feeling’. Then, they happily drove back to Puttaparthi, to their Swami who awaited them.

 

...move to Part 2 of this experience in another post entitled

No God, No Miracles; Know God, Know Miracles

(If you wish to share the entire article on the web, please provide the readers a link to the original article. That way, new readers can also discover the blog! :) )

When selfishness disguises itself as selflessness

Selfishness is a master chameleon

There is no limit to the extents to which
selfishness can go...

It was during my summer vacations when this episode occurred in the Garden City of India, Bangalore (now called Bengaluru). More than anything else, the incident showed me how subtle are the ways of selfishness. It is a master chameleon which can disguise itself even as the noblest of feelings. It is so convincing in its act that one readily turns a blind eye to it and acknowledges it as the noble emotion or thought that it is trying to impersonate. At its subtlest best, selfishness dons the vesture of selflessness with such elan and grace that it actually elicits prayers and efforts from the victim to achieve its ignoble ends!

I was then a student in the undergraduate at the Brindavan Campus of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. Among the 3 campuses of the Institute at Brindavan, Puttaparthi and Ananthapur, the students of the Brindavan campus were the luckiest in the summer months because the Chancellor of their University, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, whom they lovingly called Swami, would stay at the ashram in Brindavan. And being a student of the final year undergraduate class, I would be among the special one-third of the campus to get a chance to sit in the front rows for darshan and bhajan sessions (prayer sessions). Thus, like every other final-year student, I eagerly looked forward for the summer sessions.

There is another magical thing that happened when Swami visited Brindavan - the Trayee sessions! These were times when Baba would call all the students into the large hall under His single-room residence and interact with them. (The building there is called Trayee Brindavan and hence the name for the sessions.) There would be discourses by Swami, devotional songs sung by the students, a quiz contest, a bhajan session - just about anything. Nobody could predict what would happen in a Trayee session. Swami had arrived to Brindavan and had started granting Trayee sessions after the evening bhajans on a daily basis. This was something the brought joy to everyone among the staff and students who were lucky to be called in daily.

A wonderful time

Thus began my summer on a happy note. Adding to the joy was the fact that lady-luck decided to side with me! On a continuous basis, when it came to the lines/queues going into Trayee Brindavan for the session, I always seemed to pick a token number 1 or 2. In this way, for almost 5 days in a row, I got a chance to sit in the front, very close to Swami’s jhoola (ornamental swing) during the sessions.

This was such a joyous privilege. Sitting at the Master’s feet was such an enthralling experience. Seeing Him from so close in itself gave me gooseflesh. And what should I say about the chance to massage His feet in loving Padasevanam! (Actually Swami has given an entirely new meaning of the term Padasevanam as described in another article.)

I remember one evening very vividly. I was gently massaging Swami’s calf muscles. I was being very gentle and tender in my massage. His legs felt so delicate and feminine. I was thinking, “Swami! No wonder you have Goddess Lakshmi massaging your feet in Vaikuntha (abode of Lord Vishnu). You need very delicate hands to do the massage because your legs are so delicate.”

Even as this thought crossed my mind, Swami looked at me and said,
“Massage a bit harder. Like this...”
And He showed it with His hands too. He seemed to squeeze the imaginary muscles in His hand and twist them in opposite directions, the way we do while wanting to dry a dripping towel! I was taken aback. But I did as He said, gently though. He again looked at me and told me to do it harder. Now I increased the pressure. One more look and Swami said,

“Do it harder. Have you not had any food?”

This time I thought,
“Okay Swami! You asked for it!”

I wrung His calf muscles with all the strength I could muster. I was half expecting a shriek of pain. But nothing like that happened. I looked up at Swami and He was sitting comfortably on the jhoola, seemingly enjoying the talk by a teacher that was going on. I now increased the pressure till my breaking point. My forearms began to ache with the effort. The ‘tender’ muscles of His calf were being squished into pulp I thought. The pressure was such that I would surely not have been able to bear to do it to my own ‘stronger’ calf muscles.

But Swami did not budge or flinch a bit! In fact, when my arms began to ache after 10 minutes and I reduced the pressure, He looked at me and taunted,

“Tired? Do you wish to be replaced? Massage harder...”

Who would want to lose that opportunity and be replaced? But there is a limit for my physical strength right? His Divine power, on the other hand, is limitless! I learned my lesson. Instead of thinking stupid thoughts, I continued the massaging with all my love and humility. Swami’s demands for greater pressure immediately ceased.

With Swami that is the case always - once the message is learned, the messenger instantly ceases to exist!

These were the kinds of chances and experiences that one receives during Trayee Sessions. And so, now the reader can easily imagine why it was such a beautiful time for me and all the other students as well.

The selfish gene

It is almost as if we have a selfish gene in our constitutions that awaits a chance to express itself. And it seems to succeed on quite a regular basis. One day, after a long time, my token number turned out to be the last in the queues that go into Trayee Brindavan. I was very disappointed. I just could not bear the thought of being seated so far away from the jhoola where Swami sits. I would be so far that I would not be able to even hear whatever Swami speaks. (There would be no mikes kept for Swami unless He was delivering formally, a discourse.) Who knows, I might be seated so back that unless I craned my neck, I might not be able to even see Him! My disappointment grew as we made our way into the Sai Ramesh hall for the evening darshan and bhajan session after which would be the coveted Trayee Session.

As I sat for bhajans, I recollected the beautiful days that had passed so far. Five days of physical proximity to Swami out of which I had got the chance to massage His feet on three occasions. (“And today, it would be all over” squeaked the selfish gene from one corner of my head). Swami too had continuously granted one Trayee Session after another. (“Will He not be tired? Should He not get some rest” spoke the selfish gene in my head. But this time, it had already attired itself in the costumes of nobility and concern!

“Yes, Swami needs to take a break and have some rest”, I thought, “He is continuously giving one Trayee session after another. Swami, take a break. Take some rest.”

At that time, I did not realize what extremes of selfishness I was indulging in. It was the case of me not wanting anyone else to get a wonderful evening if I would not be having it! But at that time, I felt I was being so noble and sensitive in my thoughts. Such was selfishness’ disguise and such was my foolishness, that I actually began to pray,

“Swami, there is no need for Trayee session today. You can take some rest. How much do you want to keep slogging for all of us...”

“Ay! That is selfishness”, a strong voice from my heart came up.
“How can it be?” the head questioned, “Is it selfishness to think about Swami’s comfort? You are only doing something that nobody else is doing. It is very noble.”

This kind of dialogue of the heart vs the head is a common feature for all of us. Well, the heart is known by other names as well - the voice of wisdom, conscience etc. As the head said, I was indeed doing something that nobody else was doing. And today I know that it was definitely not noble!

Since selflessness brings us all good, is not being selfless true selfishness? :)
Let us all be Self-ish in this true manner...

The veil is lifted

The ways in which the Lord works are strange. But they always have a purpose. To my delight then, on that day, Swami did not call for a Trayee Session! We were informed that there would be no session and that we could return to the hostel. My inner being rejoiced. I felt that a noble prayer is always answered - just as mine had been moments before.

Since I was part of the audio-visual team, the AVC department, in Brindavan, I went to roll the microphone wires and cables. About 8 microphones each would be used by the ladies’ and gents’ bhajan groups and we had to roll up all the cables and wind up things neatly. The storage room was backstage, within the compound wall of Swami’s Trayee Brindavan. As I entered the AVC room to stow away the microphones, I noticed some movement at the Trayee Brindavan entrance door.

Soon, I came to know that a mistake had apparently been made. A wrong communication had been passed and all the boys had been sent away to the hostel. A hurried message was now being despatched to the hostel to summon all the boys.

The veil that selfishness had donned till now and its camouflage as nobility came down in an instant.

I found myself praying,

“Swami, please let there be a Trayee session and let the door open right away. That way, I can get in before the other boys and sit right at your lotus feet.”

“Selfish!” screamed my heart

“Don’t think all that. Just try to get a good spot...” my head retorted.

In an instant I understood how selfish I had been. The nobility of wanting Swami to rest had all disappeared the moment I had a chance to be seated in the front! Ah! How well you disguise yourself Oh selfishness! I felt very ashamed of my thoughts. Adding to my guilt pangs was the fact that the door opened immediately. The boys had not yet arrived. On instinct, I began running and soon found myself seated right in front of the jhoola. In a few moments the other boys arrived.

Remorse

As I sat there, the happenings of the whole evening flashed within my being. I was feeling very ashamed and guilty. I thought that it was my selfish prayer that deprived some other student of the wonderful chance to sit in front. Guilt was almost killing me from within. I was shedding tears.

The inner door opened and Swami walked into the hall. He came and sat on the jhoola. I could bear it no longer. In my heart, I screamed out to Swami,

“Swami! I am sorry. I have been very selfish. And I had the cheek to call it nobility. I shall never pray like this again. In fact, I shall never pray for anything because you always know best. Who am I to assume that I know better that the Lord? From now on, my prayers will always be for the whole world to be happy and for my the love in my heart to grow. Forgive me Swami. I am feeling ashamed. I was selfish and you have rewarded it? How magnanimous are you! I am ashamed of myself. I am sorry”

"Once the message is learned, the messenger ceases to exist." (Swami is seen here smiling as He sits on the jhoola in Trayee Brindavan)

Tears kept flowing and I kept my head bent low. I was looking at His feet only. I did not feel like even touching them. Such was the disgust I was feeling at my selfishness. Once my tears dried, I looked up at Him. The loving Swami flashed a gentle and beautiful smile. In an instant, I knew that He knew everything. And He had forgiven me completely.

“Once the message is learned, the messenger instantly ceases to exist.”

My guilt was gone and so was my remorse. I began to massage His feet. I resolved to be consciously aware of the chameleon - selfishness.

The next day, I was again in the last row. I felt so happy in my heart. I felt very light. I prayed,
“Thank you for everything Swami.” Nothing else came from me.

That day, I sat in the last rows in Trayee. But I was happy - happy for the students in front who were getting a wonderful chance. And that genuinely made me so happy! I realized the power of selflessness. Selfishness depended on me getting the front rows to make me happy. Selflessness kept me happy irrespective of what happened!

“I was selfless and you have rewarded me so much greater”, I prayed to Swami, “for you have rewarded me with such pure happiness in my heart - a happiness that nothing or nobody can take away!”