When one is made to move away from God to get closer to God...

From the frying pan into the fire

The last photo which Amey received before he was thrown out of school.

It was the conviction of Amey’s parents that whatever happens, one must not let go of the feet of the Lord.

“Even if the Lord kicks you, do not let go of His feet.”

That was their guiding motto and so, even though the rejection letter had reached them, they decided to do the only thing that they knew – rush to Puttaparthi for succor. It was the June of 1993 and due to certain happenings, the place reserved for the alumni of the Sathya Sai Educational Institutions was taken away and the seating privileges of the alumni were revoked. This was precisely the blow that Amey did not want at this time because he was desperate to gain some physical access to his dear Swami and tell Him about the misfortune that had struck him.

( This is actually part 2 of a riveting story. If you have come here directly, please visit the first part and then continue reading: Sometimes things go horribly wrong before going right. )

Within a day of Amey and his parents arriving at Puttaparthi, Swami left for Brindavan.  The trio followed him to the Bangalore Ashram but the same ‘seating rules’ prevailed there too and there was nothing much that Amey could do. He cried bitterly when his father inevitably informed him that it was time to head back home and enroll in a school before it gets too late. The prospects of having to face the many devotees back home who looked up to him and having to answer their queries terrified him even more. He only cried and cried more. A little respite came from the fact that his father too got a transfer from Bahrain to Abu Dhabi. At least, he would be spared of the uncomfortable questions.

Thus life went on, dragged on drearily in fact. Instead of being a special student at Swami’s school, Amey had become one among many in just another school. He now got very angry and that ire was directed on all the teachers who had ‘complained’ against him to Swami. How could he be said to have ‘unwanted connections’ and be a person of ‘too much talk’? And what was the meaning of him being ‘medically unfit’? Had not everyone seen how Swami had made him the apple of His eyes when he had to undergo the appendicitis operation? What could have been the malicious intent behind anybody wanting to chuck him out of what he considered as his whole life? These questions rankled him and along with the anger in his heart, tears brimmed in his eyes on a regular basis.

When, after two years, he applied for admission into XI grade, he again received a rejection letter. The parents were ‘advised’ not to bring their ward for admission in Puttaparthi. Suddenly, it dawned on Amey that because of the charges levelled against him, he might never ever get admission into Swami’s institutions again! That wrenched his heart and sank his spirits. He applied again for the degree in Bachelors of Commerce. Since he was a NRI (non-resident Indian), the ruled did not permit him to get admitted. So, it was disappointment again.

Some respite finally!

Amey joined the Seshadripuram college in Bangalore (Bengaluru now) and completed his degree in commerce. Following that, he took up a job in the same city. Alongside this professional progress also came the much-needed respite in terms of his relationship with Swami. Amey became part of the Brindavan Bhajan Group and, thus, every Thursday and Sunday when Swami was in Brindavan, he would get the coveted chance of sitting in the first row and singing for his Lord. Slowly but surely, Swami began to speak with him. Amey now began entertaining hopes of attaining his lost former glory in terms of endearing himself to his Lord. This endeavor of his seemed to get crowned with success during a visit to Puttaparthi.

In the darshan lines, Swami spotted him and called him by that endearing term,

“Appendicitis boy...”

Amey rushed and knelt before Swami.

“Where are you?” Swami asked.

“Swami, I have completed my schooling and Bachelors in Commerce.”

“Why did you leave the school? Why did you leave Swami? All the other students happily continued to study here...”

Amey had no answer. Once again, he felt his anger against those unknown perpetrators rising. But he chose not to tell anything to Swami. With a flick of His finger, Swami indicated to Amey to go to the interview room!

Two personal interviews followed in the next 3 days. And in an instant, Amey had become a celebrity again. Friends who often avoided him, now came back flocking to him. Even as his stock price shot beyond the ceiling, Amey did not get carried away. He knew that it was his newfound  stock price which had attracted the clamouring ‘investors’ - the same ones who had totally avoided him all these years.  He kept quiet and did not care one bit for the attention. However, he could not hold back when his former ‘best friend’ came to speak to him.

“Keep away from me. How is it that suddenly I have become dear to you? I am the same guy but your treatment has varied so much. You are simply an opportunistic and selfish person.”

His friend smiled and replied. And that reply was enough to pick Amey from the peak of his joy back to the same abysmal depths of depression, if not deeper.

Back to square one

Looking straight into Amey’s eyes, the friend replied,

“What could I do? The day you left the school, the class teacher revealed what had happened. When the list of new students had been taken to Swami for approval, he had specifically asked for the roll number of the ‘appendicitis boy.’ The teachers were sure that Swami wanted to confer some special blessing on you as they pointed out to your number. Swami simply struck your name off the rolls and said that you were no longer needed in the school! So, all of us naturally assumed that Swami did not want any of us to interact with you. Nobody knew why you were thrown out but this much is certain that Swami expelled you. We feared His ire if we spoke to you.”

Amey was now in another daze. He simply walked away from the friend and could not believe that it was his Swami who was behind all this. He felt deceived and let down completely. Thinking back about the past few days, he was in mixed feelings. While the sweet talk and interviews had convinced him that nothing had changed between him and his Lord, this revelation from his friend shocked him into thinking whether he had got things right. He left Puttaparthi and returned to Bangalore. He needed some time by himself to come to terms with the information he had received.

Acting in the MBA Day drama in 2004.

Being a positive person by nature, his thinking in solitude resulted in a pure thought with a steely determination,

“Come what may, I shall strive to become dear to the Lord. I don’t know what I did to make Him take this drastic step of kicking me out of school. But I shall strive for one more chance to redeem myself.”

Born from this resolve was the desire to join the MBA course in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. Even as he worked for Hewlett Packard, Amey constantly kept preparing for admission into the University. In the meanwhile, his prayers during the bhajans at Brindavan gained a new intensity. He kept praying,

“Swami, please give me one more chance and I shall prove myself worthy of your love.”

That pining was reflected in his singing and everybody agreed that this boy - Indraneel - was one of the best singers. (Yes, he had changed from Amey to Indraneel. To this day, he continues to be Indraneel for the people from Bangalore.) His thought, word and deeds were directed towards an MBA admission.

The achievement of the goal

His first two attempts at getting an MBA seat were failures. But that did not deter him and he kept trying, year after year. Exactly a decade after being sent out from the school, Amey, in 2003, achieved the first part of his dream - he was selected for the MBA programme in the Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. The ten years away from Swami had given birth to another realization in him.

“I came to know that there is nothing in the world, nothing in life other than the Lord, my Swami. I decided that I would do whatever necessary to be with Him and never lose contact with Him again. I realized that I would possibly have left Swami to pursue a career after my education if not for this decade-long stint in the ‘outside world’. Those 10 years made me realize the magnitude of the blessing of staying with Swami. It trained my focus on to Swami and Swami alone. Thus, when I got an MBA seat, I was delighted. This would be my re-entry into the world with my Lord and, this time, I would ensure that nothing ever takes me away from it.”

Even as he achieved the first part of his dream, he did not lose sight of his ultimate dream - to become near and dear to his Swami. Being his classmate, doing the MSc course as he did his MBA, I can definitely vouch for his efforts. Amey became a lead singer in the bhajan group, was regular in all the hostel disciplines, excelled in studies and was clearly in college to pursue a lifelong sadhana. Everybody felt that he was different - some even criticized his ‘needless adherence to the ideal way’ but that was surely born out of their own inability to be like him! Amey also became part of all the cultural programmed put up in mandir in the Divine Presence. He excelled as a speaker and actor.

His faith in Swami had been strengthened by a statement that he often read and and heard from Swami,

“I sometimes act as if I keep you at a distance; that is done to reform you quicker. When a stretch of road is being repaired, I go by another detour and I do not use that bit of road for some time. The purpose is to let the repair works proceed more quickly so that I may use that road again.”

Ah! That is the property of Divine Love alone. Even at the cost of being misunderstood and ‘hated’, Swami continues to do what is best for the individual. He knows that though you may criticize Him now and feel bad, in due course of time, the divine wisdom and love will be appreciated. While human love is concerned only with the comfort of the body and the mind, divine love sacrifices the body and mind at the altar of the soul. Divine love is concerned only with soul which is forever, rather than the body which keeps changing with every birth.

The cherry on the icing

In 2007, Amey was a research scholar, pursuing his PhD in Management. He had no idea that Swami had been silently witnessing his ‘growth’ and had decided to give him a pat on the back. The 21st of August is celebrated as the ‘MBA Day’ to mark the inception of this professional programme in the University. Every year, the MBA students would put up a drama in Swami’s presence on MBA day. However, in 2007, Swami scripted the day differently.

He told the vice-chancellor, A.V.Gokak that there was no need of a drama as the students had put up one less than a week ago (that would be the Independence Day Drama on 15th August). He wanted a couple of speeches instead. When the names of some senior teachers were presented to Swami to select as the speakers, Swami said that he wanted speakers who could sing very well. He wanted many songs in between the talks he said. Only two people from the MBA department fitted this bill - Amey Deshpande and Subash Subramaniam. That in itself gave a hint about Swami’s selectivity.

On the 21st of August, 2007, Amey and Subash delivered their talks. It was unbelievable to see that Swami was almost in tears after an hour. He said,

“I am feeling so full today that I am not able to speak. You have given me so much joy.”

For Amey, that was an acknowledgement of his decade-long efforts. Swami did not stop at that. He said that since He was not addressing the students that day, He would specially address them the next day morning.  Conferring the two boys with lots of blessings, Swami left after the bhajans.

That evening, the vice-chancellor visited the hostel to invite all the students and teachers to the mandir next morning for Swami’s discourse! Having done his duty, he sent everyone out but these two boys. Then, he told them,

“Swami was all the while remembering and speaking about you only. He said that He wanted such boys to stay with Him forever. He even discussed with everyone at the dinner table about the steps and measures to be taken to retain such excellent Sai-students. He has advised me to ask you this and so I am doing it in private. What would it take for you to remain here always? Swami is ready to pay any salary, give you any comforts and do everything possible so that you remain here with Him always. He says that students like you are His greatest treasure and He wants to retain you here forever. So, tell me, what is it that you seek?”

Amey was now in tears. Ten years ago, Swami had sent him out. Today, He was pleading him to stay and stating that He was ready to do anything to keep him with Him. Ah! What humility! The ten years ‘away’ from Swami had brought Amey very close to Swami. So, he answered the vice chancellor,

“Sir, Swami has given me more than I could ever imagine. It will be my privilege and opportunity to be here with Him forever. Please tell Swami that he has always given me even before I have asked. The fact that He wants me here forever is the greatest blessing that is conferred on me. It is Swami’s love and humility that makes Him seek this as a favor from me when, in reality, this is the greatest blessing that I can ever imagine.”

Chained to his dear Lord for Life...

And that was when Amey realized that at times, you are made to move away from your goal to achieve your goal! The next morning, Swami materialized a gold chain for Amey and ‘chained’ him to Himself for life. He did the same to Subash as well. During the discourse on the 22nd of August,2007, He presented the two students as ideals for the whole student community:

“Yesterday, the talks delivered by two of our MBA students were very good. Listening to them was a great pleasure to Me. We are very happy to have such good boys in our college. These two boys stood first in their class and were awarded gold medals. But you should not be satisfied with these awards and rewards. You should become good boys. Even the value of gold may diminish but not the value of goodness. Hence, you should cultivate goodness and earn a good name which will remain forever.

Students, you are like pure gold. You are all very good. But sometimes you encounter waves of disturbance and doubts in your lives. Many a time, your faith is shaken by some aberrations. Do not pay attention to these. They will go as they come. Come what may, you must remain fearless and steady. Your studies are meant to develop steadiness in you. Study to be steady. Keep this always in your mind. Look at these two boys. How happy they are! In fact, all the MBA students are good. It is not possible to say that one is good and the other is bad. Their singing also was so good. They are intelligent, virtuous and full of vigour. They will be an asset wherever they go. Such boys should stay back to serve the institution so that they can impart their goodness to others. There is nothing great in going abroad and earning a lot of money with your academic qualifications. Money comes and goes, morality comes and grows.”

Today, a decade after joining the MBA programme, Amey continues to be in Puttaparthi as a teacher. He continues to motivate and inspire love for Swami in the hearts of the students and is happy to have achieved his dream of being close to Swami forever.

For all readers:

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Sometimes things go horribly wrong before going right - a message from Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Na Bruyath Sathyam Apriyam

“Sometimes, things have to go wrong before they can go right.”

It was a lunch table discussion that we were having when my brother, Amey Deshpande, made this statement in a vehement manner. The lunch-time talk had started off with the sad state of affairs in the world today - poverty, war, growing population, global warming and so on. The conversation had then progressed into the decline of moral values and the rapid rise of selfishness and greed before meandering into the bleak future that seemed to be greeting humanity. That was when Amey had made that flow-changing and mood-uplifting statement. He continued on that line of thought,

“I mean, don’t you fall off the bicycle many times before you learn to ride it? Don’t we drown in water, gulping down lungfuls of it before we can learn to swim? So too, when things go down, there are lessons to be learnt. We have to put in efforts and learn those lessons rather than crib and cry about everything going bad.”

That made so much sense and all of us at the table nodded. The naysayers and the prophets of doom seem to delight in painting a bleak picture of the world. While they say that they are simply stating the truth, there is an important hitch which they conveniently avoid. Truth can be stated in two ways -

1. In a manner that inspires and provokes action OR

2. In a manner that depresses and makes one feel hopeless.

The prophets of doom adopt the second way though they too secretly hope that they will be able to stir and rouse people/things to change. When, at the lunch table, it appeared as though the discussion was headed towards depression and hopelessness, Amey had brought about a change in the entire line of thinking. That in itself had made all of us feel so much better. I could not help but think about my dear Master and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, who always exhorts,

“Satyam Bruyath; Priyam Bruyath; Na Bruyath Satyam Apriyam”,

This means that one should always speak the Truth in a manner which is pleasing to everybody. And if the truth is only distasteful/unpleasant, it is better to adopt silence.

Amey had done just that. He had changed the ‘truthful’ discussion in a direction that would yield results rather than just depress and make the situation look hopeless for everyone. But more than that, he followed it with the narrative of a very intimate and personal experience with Swami (as Bhagawan Baba is reverentially and affectionately called). His narrative was filled with wisdom divine and lessons galore.

The pain that was necessary to remove another pain

It must be said that Amey became a ‘form boy’ almost as soon as he joined the Primary School in Puttaparthi. For those that are not familiar with the student-lingo, a ‘form boy’ is one who seems to receive a lot of attention and grace from Swami - like Swami speaks to him almost during every darshan session, gives him interviews along with the parents, ‘knows’ him by him name and so on. The period of ‘form’ could last a few hours, days, months or years. So, while those that are not in ‘form’ try to get into ‘form’, those in ‘form’ try to retain it as long as they can!

So, Amey was a ‘form boy.’ Ever since his ‘memorable’ first experience with Swami, he wanted to just be with Swami and dedicate his life to Him. And that seemed to be the precise direction in which he was headed. By the time he was in 8th grade, all the students and teachers knew him to be the ‘pet child’ of Swami. Amey had his appendicitis to thank for being instrumental in him becoming Swami’s pet!

Yes, you read it right! Towards the end of 1992, Amey had a severe tummy ache. That tummy ache soon was diagnosed as a swollen appendix infected with appendicitis. An operation to cut away the vestigial organ was suggested and Amey was scared. He got up and told Swami in the darshan lines that he had to undergo an operation. The moment Swami ‘got to know’ that he had appendicitis, the loving Divine mother in Him came to the fore. He gently patted him and assured him that all would be well. He called the doctors and told them that the best care must be taken of the boy.

Swami lovingly assures Amey that there is nothing to fear in an
appendicitis operation. 

The date for the operation was set a day after Amey’s birthday on December 24th. The operation went on very well and the doctors treated the case like they would do for a VVIP because Swami was enquiring about his health on a daily basis. All said and done, it was a simple appendicitis operation and by the 31st of December, Amey was hale and hearty, ready to be discharged. However, before he was discharged, a strange request came to him from the nurses and doctors of the Urology department in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences - would he mind staying another day in the hospital and get discharged on the morning of the 1st of January?

The reason for this request was the fact that Swami would be visiting the hospital on the first day of 1993. The staff in the urology department rightly realized that if Amey was in the urology wards, Swami would definitely visit those wards! Amey agreed and Swami did indeed visit the Urology wing of the hospital. Thus, all the staff of the urology department enjoyed a special bonus of His darshan, sparshan and sambhashan (sight, touch and speech with Swami). The minute Swami left after His visit, Amey was discharged!

But that was not all. A white Mercedes car (registration number 8100) stood outside the hospital. Swami had sent His own car to pick up the boy from the hospital and take him back to the hostel! Needless to say, Amey was a hostel celebrity now and everyone spoke highly of his love, devotion and dedication to Swami without which it was simply not possible to enjoy the chances that he was enjoying. On the evening of New Year’s Day, Swami delivered a Divine Discourse in which He made Amey an example.

“See this appendicitis boy. He had to undergo an operation. He had to go through pain to overcome an existing pain.” (This exact sentence does not appear in the discourse link provided above because, as per the practice and policy, names and personal references are kept out unless they add to the message. Swami has Himself instructed that personal references are not important. The message is important.)

Swami also went on to advise the nurses on how they should take care of the patients and put caring for them even above having Swami’s darshan! Every nurse in the audience felt that Swami was speaking so because the ‘patient’ in His mind was Amey! That was the kind of love and grace that he was enjoying.

Stage serving and exhibition

The new year brought new chances for Amey. He was picked by Swami to be a part of the “stage-serving boys group” during the Annual Sports and Cultural Meet which was held on the 11th of January. That was another feather in his milestone-cap and Amey seemed to be on his way to smashing all previous ‘records’ of chances with the Lord at a tender age itself.

Amey being directed by Swami on how to go about serving the guests on stage - Sports Meet 1993.

Following the Sports Meet came another beautiful chance in the form of an exhibition which Swami attended. All the students of the school were asked to make ‘models’ which could be exhibited for Swami to see. Amey had made his exhibit behind which he had put in a lot of thought. Swami spent the maximum time at his exhibit when He came to see the 8th grade exhibition.

“Swami, this is the path to hell. The first part of the journey is filled with rose petals. That symbolizes easy gains, quick money and other such benefits which entice one to take the path. But later on, it is all suffering and misery symbolized by the thorns. The path to heaven is filled with thorns in the beginning, symbolizing the difficulties one faces when one is Truthful and Righteous. However, the later part of the journey is filled with rose petals to symbolize the peace and love that one receives by following the path. Swami’s picture in between the paths says that the Lord is the Sakshi Bhootam or the eternal witness.”

Amey explains his "heaven-hell" model as Swami listens in rapt attention. 

Swami smiled at the ‘wisdom’ of the little boy. He patted him lovingly on the head and expressed His appreciation. Once again, all the teachers and students were in admiration of Amey. In fact, after Swami left, Amey was also told to start preparing for another similar exhibition next year. Everyone felt that Amey’s model would once again, be the best.

These were how things stood when the final examinations for grade 8 were held and the annual summer vacation was declared. Looking forward to a happy vacation and a quick return therefrom to his dear Swami, Amey left for Muscat, to his parents. 8th grade had been a very fulfilling one for him. He had no idea of the storm that was about to hit him with the might of a devastating tsunami...

Things go horribly wrong

Amey was a hero at home, in his own country for everyone had heard of how close he was to Swami. He was looked up to even by the elders and was portrayed as a role model to all the youngsters. It was almost as if he had an invisible halo around his head! It was in these circumstances that Amey got into a rare argument with his father. The argument progressed and Amey was firmly asserting his point of view to his father. That was when the floodgates broke and Amey was caught horribly in the eye of a storm.

“SHUT UP NOW...THAT IS WHY THEY HAVE THROWN YOU OUT!” his father screamed at him. Amey did not understand one bit what his father was telling him. And his father was now in tears!

“Do you know, you have been expelled from Swami’s school?” he asked amid sobs.

Amey could simply not believe his ears. What was his father talking about? He was the ideal student, Swami’s favorite and the gem of his class. How could he be expelled?

“This is the letter that I have received from the principal. It says that I am required to go to Puttaparthi to collect your transfer certificate. You have been expelled because of three reasons:

1. Excessive and constant talk.

2. Unwanted contacts and friendship.

3. Medical problems.

You will not be going back to Puttaparthi! You have been thrown out of school. This has never happened to anyone in our family. Your mother and me have been looking out for good schools in the vicinity...”

Amey was not listening any more. Hot tears were streaming down his cheeks. He was in an absolute shock and did not know what to do or how to respond. Nobody came forward to hug him or console him because apparently, everyone was distraught. In one moment, his whole world had turned topsy turvy and from a hero, he had become a loser, a blotch in the family name.

“That was the beginning of the things going wrong that I told about”, said Amey.

“The beginning?”, I asked incredulously, “you mean to say that things went more wrong?”

“You bet”, said Amey, “I seemed to pummel down into a bottomless pit.”

“And yet, today you are here, where you are!”, I said encouragingly, ”how did that happen?”

“That is what I said in the beginning, that at times things have to go wrong before they can go right. In retrospect, I am grateful to Swami for all the beautiful memories and even for what seemed as rude shocks. The point is, just because things seem to be going wrong, it doesn’t mean that everything is lost. Going wrong is very much part of the Masterplan of things going right - like the failures which are considered as stepping stones for success. When I came to know that I was kicked out of school, I once again remembered Swami's statement during the New Year's Day discourse - that one pin is needed to weed out another bigger pain. I just hoped that this condition too would be the pain that is removing some greater pain that i would otherwise have to undergo."

Even as I prepared myself to hear the next part of his riveting story, I was lost in thoughts about the profundity of what Amey had just said.


...to be continued in an exciting second part. Read it at Moving away from God to get closer to Him.

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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Broaden your vision because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder - a student's experience with Sri Sathya Sai

Nature beckons

The rains had arrived in great bounty over the parched and summer-scorched landscapes around Puttaparthi. A lush-green, velvety carpet seemed to spread over the hard, dry earth. Standing by the window at home, I looked at the looming hill, nicknamed Shiva, standing majestically beside a slightly smaller hill, Parvati. This Indian habit of naming anything beautiful and majestic after different gods and goddesses had got into my colleagues at the Prasanthi Digital Studio too. Thus, the otherwise ordinary hills near the neighboring village of Karnatenagepalli had got these divine names.

The sight of the lush green hills was too much for me to contain. My heart erupted in joy and I felt a strong desire to wander into the green and peaceful embrace of these hills. As the sun mellowed down from a harsh afternoon into a pleasant evening, I mounted my bicycle and was on my way towards the hills. Nature, in all its majesty, is such a powerful intoxicant and attractant for me. It just pulls me with such spontaneity and urgency that I drop whatever I am doing and get drawn to it.

The inspiration was great but the cycling was not that easy. 3-4 kilometers of country road which went up and down soon had beads of perspiration dripping from my forehead. I reached the edge of the grounds beyond which there was no navigable road. From here on, the journey had to be made on foot. I dismounted, parked the cycle and started off.

The path here was quite bad. Strewn with thousands of rocks and pebbles, it presented quite a danger of a slip and a fall. Adding to this was the fact that my feet were in ‘slip’pers instead of in shoes. Naturally, I began to place each foot after testing the ground. My progress was slow and laboured and my mental focus was at its peak. The perspiration continued and I realized that it was one thing to gaze at nature from the comforts of home but a totally different thing to be a part of it and explore it.

In fact, I now began to ponder over the spontaneity and impulsiveness of my decision. Wasn’t it a mistake to have walked this path? Nature looked quite good from home and so, where was the need to have ventured out? My mind was soon a muddle of such thoughts as my body battled the harsh terrain in its bid to maintain balance and control.

Drama of Life

It would be a good idea to leave my huffing and grunting on the hill slopes for a while and enjoy an interesting episode which concerns my master and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. That would definitely be more ‘dramatic’ than my plight on the path. The episode dates back to the November of 1998 when Swami (as He is reverentially and endearingly called) was in the Poornachandra auditorium with a group of students preparing for that year’s Convocation drama.

For those that have come in new, the Convocation Drama is an annual cultural event enacted mostly by the senior-most students of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning on the 22nd of November. The drama has an audience running in tens of thousands and Swami has always given its theme, dialogues and actors the greatest importance. As a matter of fact, Swami would often attend the rehearsals of every scene in the drama several times. He would select the costumes, check the script, compose songs and even make subtle changes in the plot to make the drama a wholesome and entertaining spiritual food for the audience. So much was His involvement in the drama that it was indeed a marvel at how He could sit and watch the same drama, completely engrossed, on the 22nd of November every year.

Deepak Anand in his costume
as Ramakrishna Paramahamsa.

Ah! Now coming to the main story. In the year 1998, the drama had a scene from the life of Swami Vivekananda and Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. Deepak Anand, currently a doctorate in the School of Business Management at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, then a student of the same Business School, was chosen by Swami to act the role of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. As expected, a major part of the role included the devotion of the saint towards his ‘Maa’, his mother, the Goddess Kali.

Ramakrishna and his Krishna

The rehearsals began and soon, Swami was involved completely in the planning and practice of the drama. When the scene involving Ramakrishna came, Swami looked at the altar and asked,

“Why is there no idol in the shrine?”

Getting a statue of Goddess Kali is not easy in this part of the country. That was the reason why no idol adorned the altar. Swami went and fetched a statue of Lord Krishna. Giving it to the teacher-in-charge, he said,

“Here is the Krishna which Ramakrishna will worship. Place it in the altar.”

The teacher-in-charge did as he was told but he realized that Swami was making a rare ‘mistake here - Ramakrishna was a devotee of Mother Kali and not of Lord Krishna. Maybe Swami had got ‘confused’ because of the ‘Krishna’ in the saint’s name!

The next day, an idol of Goddess Kali was brought. Swami glanced at the idol. Mother Kali, baring her blood-red tongue stood over the carcass of the demon she had slaughtered. A garland of human skulls adorned her neck and a huge sword shone in her hand.

“No! Place the Krishna statue in the altar and continue the practice.”

An artist's impression of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Mother Kali. The fearsome
form of the Goddess can be seen clearly. 

Now the teacher was in a fix. If Swami were to insist on keeping the Krishna statue in Ramakrishna’s altar, it would be historically inaccurate. He tried to point out the error but Swami would listen to none of it. The teacher even tried replacing the Krishna idol with a smaller one so that the ‘error’ would not be noticed by a large section of the audience that were far from the stage. Swami did not agree to that too. He wanted that same Krishna idol to be in Ramakrishna’s altar. On his part, Deepak Anand, continued to improve on his acting with each passing session. He seemed to keep himself totally out of the Kali-Krishna controversy. Swami showered special attention and grace on him, telling him in detail about Ramakrishna Paramahamsa’s love for Mother Kali. Though He had bestowed a mantra for this boy to chant as his personal sadhana, Swami changed it into one on the Mother. He told him to chant the mantra on the Mother for the next few days. The boy was in bliss and felt his love for the Mother grow by leaps and bounds every passing day. In spite of all this, Swami stood firm on His decision on Krishna.

The unexpected turn

A couple of days before the actual drama, when everyone had resigned to having the idol of Krishna in the altar, Swami came up with a surprise packet. He asked for the Krishna idol to be replaced with the idol of Goddess Kali! He said that Ramakrishna Paramahamsa was a devotee of the Mother and it didn’t make sense to have the idol of Krishna in his altar.

Everyone was relieved. Finally, Swami seemed to have realized His error. Before He could change His mind again, the idols were quickly exchanged and everyone smiled at each other. It was only after Swami left that every person of the drama troupe came to know the secret behind Swami’s error. The secret came as a revelation from an overwhelmed Deepak Anand.

“When I saw the idol of Mother Kali, my feelings were of fear and even a little disgust. I wondered as to how I would be able to inculcate feelings of devotion and yearning towards such a fearsome and fiery form. Even as I was thinking thus, Swami brought in the beautiful idol of Krishna, my family deity. The connection and bonding was instantaneous for me. In the meanwhile, Swami Himself worked on my love and devotion towards the Mother. Incessant and intense chanting of the Mother’s mantra and hearing about Her from Swami stroked a deep and intense love in my heart. Today, I could see the change. When the idol of Mother Kali was brought to the altar, I did not see an idol, but my Mother, the object of my deep devotion and love.”

Swami with the students after the finale of the 1998 Convocation Drama. Deepak Anand can be seen clutching on to
Swami's right elbow, straining to remain in the frame. 

Everyone was stunned by this revelation! They could not imagine in their wildest thoughts the wisdom behind Swami’s apparent mistake. What a Masterstroke Swami had played! Now, everyone was lost in admiration for His subtle and beautiful ways. Being very ‘focused’ often makes one narrow in one’s vision. Broadening of one’s vision enables one to see the beauty that otherwise is missed.

Trekker’s Delight

The memory of Deepak Anand’s inspirational experience brought a little smile on my sweaty face. I decided to take a little break from my trekking and catch my breath. As I stood still, my eyes raised from the path they had been so diligently focusing on all this while. And then, what I saw took my breath away.

The hills and the dales that spanned before me were beautiful beyond description. The lush green carpets with bushes dancing in the wind, the fluttering butterflies and chirping birds, the soothing blue sky with its fluffy clouds - everything seemed so ethereal and other-worldly. The scene was as beautiful as it was when I had seen it from the window at home. How on earth had I missed all this?

I understood that being narrow-minded and too focused on just my perspective often blinds me to the beauty and glory that the Lord embodies. No wonder that it is said, "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder." If one's vision is broad, one is able to appreciate beauty. If one's vision is narrow, one is just not able to understand and realize the beauty! The members of the 1998 drama troupe realized it through Deepak Anand’s experience and I realized it through my little trek!

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