Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 1

The problem of being judgemental

It appears as if man is a judgemental creature by nature. Having been endowed with a mind that no other creature in the universe possesses, man seems to engage it constantly to analyse, form opinions and finally pass judgement on almost everyone and everything he comes in contact with. This whole process happens so spontaneously yet unconsciously that if one were to ask someone,

“Are you judgemental?”

the answer would most probably be a negative or a “maybe I am judgemental at times". Very few actually know and have the courage to accept that they are judgemental. All the others either just lie or lack the knowledge. (There you go, I have already proved that I am judgemental!)

It seems to be a very hard task to go about the day without judging someone or something. We have opinions and thoughts about everything in life (almost). If you don’t believe me, try out this simple experiment. Just go to anybody and ask him/her a question. Just ensure that, before you ask the question, you preface the question with the phrase - In your opinion. For instance, if you wish to ask about global warming, don’t ask

“What is global warming?”

The answer that you get might be brief or even non-existent when the person just says,

“I hear a lot about it and I think it is something bad.”

Instead, just change the question to,

“In your opinion, what is global warming?”

Ah! Now you get a lot of words. In fact, there are cases of a person having an opinion about a subject though he/she has no knowledge of the subject! And this can be extended towards people too. We have opinions and pass judgement about people though we have no knowledge about them, their situations and circumstances.

Okay! So we are judgemental. Is there a problem in that? Of course there is. Being judgemental is a sure-shot path to unrest and loss of peace. A lot of energy (physical, mental and spiritual) is wasted and unnecessary conflicts/debates/arguments arise. Recognizing this, the saint, Mother Teresa said,

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”

My Master and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba presents the same in the light of God,

“Sarva Deva Namaskaram Keshavam Prati Gachchati

Sarva Deva Tiraskaram, Keshavam Prati Gachchati.”

(The salutations offered to any/all beings goes to God. The criticism offered to any/all beings goes to God.)

He also goes on to state that if at all you wish to criticize anyone, it would be best to indulge in constructive self-criticism which leads to growth and betterment.

It was via a remarkable sequence of events and an unfolding of a Divine drama that I learned the importance of not being judgemental. The happenings spanned over three days - the 25th, 26th and 27th of September, 2009 - and they give a profound insight on why and how one should not be judgemental.

Beginnings of a drama

Dusshera, the festival marking the victory of Lord Rama over the demon Ravana, is celebrated annually with great fervour in Prasanthi Nilayam. It is also called Navarathri. (Dusshera signifies 10 days while Navarathri stands for 9 nights). One of the highlights of the Dusshera festival was the Divine Discourse that Swami would deliver on each and every evening, at the end of the day’s proceedings of the Veda Purusha Saptaha Jnana Yajna (a fire sacrifice for world peace that is held for seven days). In 2009, the Yajna began on the 22nd of September. However, even after 3 days of the Yajna starting, Swami had not delivered a discourse! This was quite disappointing for me and, I am sure, for all the assembled thousands in Prasanthi Nilayam. Every evening session used to have 2-3 speakers who unusually spoke for 25-30 minutes (instead of the standard 10-15 minutes). As a result, by the time the speeches ended, it was quite late in the evening. Swami would then ask the students in the bhajan group to sing bhajans at the end of which He would receive Arati, bless everyone and leave the Kulwant Hall premises.

The speeches being delivered were so unusually long that on the third day of the Yajna, Swami asked the final speaker to conclude his talk as it was getting late. Swami lovingly told him that he would give him a chance to conclude on the next day! Sitting in the front lines of the hall and witnessing this assurance from Swami, I could not help get overwhelmed at His love and kindness. At the same time, I was thrilled by the next statement that Swami made. He said,

"Tomorrow, I will speak."

The time was 6:40pm and it appeared to be the only reason why an otherwise ‘eager’ Swami was not delivering His discourse.

On the fourth day of the Yajna, something interesting happened. It was the 25th of September and the master of ceremonies introduced 3 speakers for the evening. I was seated in the second line right in front of the dais. Even as the speakers were introduced, I felt disappointed within. I thought,

“Oh no! Not again! I hope that these speakers realize the truth that everyone here is waiting to hear Swami and not them. They better conclude in 10 minutes so that there is sufficient time for Swami’s discourse.”

The first speaker started off his speech offering his salutations to Swami. It was the same person whom Swami had promised a second innings in lieu of the abrupt conclusion of his speech on the previous evening. I realized that the original number of 2 speakers had been increased to 3 because of Swami’s promise the previous evening. However, the statement from Swami that He would also speak kept me in an anticipatory frame of mind. I was waiting for the speeches to conclude.

Judgemental nature kicks in

Once the first speaker crossed the 20-minute mark, I got a bit irritated. My judgemental mind kicked in automatically. Adding fuel  to this fire of irritation was the fact that the second speaker too proceeded beyond the 20-minute mark! I began to mentally rant,

“This is really unfair for Swami! He had clearly expressed His desire to speak yesterday and none of the speakers seem to care even the slightest for it. They just go on and on in their swollen egos. Why don’t they just stop speaking and allow Swami to deliver His discourse? They claim to love Swami but do not care for His wishes and desires!”

Thus, I mentally branded all the speakers as egotists who did not care for Swami in the least. At that point in time, I did not feel in the slightest that I was being judgemental and critical. I felt that anybody with the slightest feeling for Swami would empathise and agree totally along my line of thinking. Well, for that matter, will the reader who has come up to this point of the narrative also not tend to agree with me? If not, I am sure that what happened next will surely get you to empathise and agree with me. If even after reading the next paragraph I don’t win you over to subscribe to my line of thinking, I guess this article is definitely not needed for you in terms of the lesson it conveys. You can however, still read it to enjoy a nice story! :)

As the third speaker was speaking, Swami placed His head upon the palm of His right hand and began to look at me. Our eyes met and Swami kept looking at me. I was almost about to get up to ask Swami whether He wished to convey anything. He smiled and looked away. I relaxed my tensed calf muscles. even as that happened, He began to look at me once again. My focus on Him was so intense that I was deaf to whatever the speaker was saying. And then, He signalled to me!

With a gesture of helplessness, shaking His head and hands, Swami indicated to me that He never gets the chance to speak. I was so moved at “His plight”. Though the speaker was speaking, I slightly raised on my knees, folded my hands and gesture-communicated to Swami that He should speak. He again made a gesture of helplessness. My blood was boiling now. I felt that the whole world was so selfish when it came to Swami. By now, almost everyone in the front rows came to know of “Swami’s predicament”. This was evident in what happened after the speaker concluded the talk.

Swami told the students to sing a couple of bhajans after which He received Arati. As is the practice, the prayer for universal peace - Samastha Lokaha Sukhino Bhavanthu - was chanted thrice before the session ended. Swami sat silently, gazing at the audience. Many of the students in the front rows (me included), filled this silence with a plea,

“Swami, you should speak.”

There was no response from Swami and He continued to sit silent. Gathering courage, I got up and walked up to Him on the dais. Surprisingly, Swami did not protest or tell me to sit down. It was as if He was expecting me to go to Him on the stage.

I thought of expressing the feelings in my (and everyone's) heart as I went up the stage...

Folding my hands, I knelt before Him. I offered a prayer on behalf of everyone in the hall,

“Swami, please, speak to all of us Swami.”

Immediately, Swami flared up with irritation. He said,

“It is late already. So how can I speak?”

“Swami, at least tomorrow? There is no need of anybody else. Only you speak - that is enough.”

“How can I? I am presented with a big list of speakers beforehand.”

“Swami, for tomorrow, there is no need to entertain anyone’s list of speakers. You  just speak and that is enough.”

“Tell all this to your teachers (and not to me)!”

I nodded in complete agreement. I turned and pointed out the entire audience to Swami saying,

“Swami all are here only to hear you speak. There are here for you only and not for anyone else.”

At this point, another student, B.Prabhakar, took courage and came up the stage. He said,

“Swami, it is our desire that we hear the ceaseless flow of nectar from your divine lips.”

Swami smiled and patted him.He looked at both of us. He appeared to have ‘calmed down’ as He said,

“See, today my voice is not good. I shall speak tomorrow.”

Resolve

My mind rushed back to its thoughts and feelings a few minutes ago. I was thinking that it was high time to silence the ‘selfish’ speakers. I wondered who it was that ‘pressurised’ Swami to cede to speeches in spite of everyone’s wishes and His own wish that He speak!I wanted to spoil the ‘speakers’ party’ the next day. There was silence as we sat near Him. I wanted to tell Him that any session becomes complete and fulfilled only when He speaks. In Telugu, the word for fulfillment is Poornam. However, so many thoughts were going on in my head that when I spoke, instead of the words Poornam, I pronounced it as Poornahuthi (the final offering made to the Yajnam.)

“Swami, only if you speak then it becomes Poornahuthi.

Swami smiled and corrected me,

“Poornahuthi is several days later!”

So I asked Swami,

“Swami shall we make an announcement that you will speak tomorrow? That will make everyone rejoice!”

"No! I will speak only to the children!"

When I did not get Him the first time, He repeated it for me. I nodded, thinking that, out of His great Love, Swami was not wanting to embarrass those egotists by making their ‘selfishness’ public! It was indeed His great Love. What I did not realize was that rather than preventing embarrassment to the egotists, Swami said that to ensure that I would learn a very important lesson about not being judgemental. And that lesson would inspire me to see God in everyone at a practical level rather than just at a purely theoretical level - a lesson which would explain the significance of Shakespeare’s opening lines in a famous poem. 

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts.

B. Prabhakar too joined me on the stage after a while! :)

But all that would happen over the next two days. Right now, I was waiting for the session to complete so that I could go and speak to some of the teachers as Swami had indicated. I decided that I would even speak to the vice chancellor and other elders if need be. What did I have to fear or lose? Swami had given me the instruction and I would just be doing His bidding. Knowing that one is doing the Lord’s bidding  is enough to instill absolute fearlessness in the heart.

“Truth has no fear. Untruth and falsehood shivers at every shadow”, says Bhagawan.

In fact, fearlessness is one of the foremost traits of a devotee because it is only God who can confer such fearlessness. That is echoed in 27th name of the Sri Sathya Sai Ashtotram,

Aum Sri Sai Abhaya Pradaya Namaha. (Salutations to Sri Sai whose Grace rescues us from all fears and grants us security from all harm.)

With this resolve to take some of the most important people head-on in a matter which was so important to Swami and all the devotees, I returned to my place in the hall as Swami retired for the day.

to be concluded in the second part posted at the following link:

Mental peace by not being judgemental - a personal lesson from Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Part 2

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed month-wise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 225 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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Take one step towards me and I shall take ten towards you

Two lads and their tears

It was late in the day and the sun was setting over the horizon in the city of Calcutta (now Kolkata), India. Two lads stood in a temple dedicated to the Goddess Kali, praying to the divine mother. Their eyes were filled with tears and hearts with aspirations. They were hoping to convey to the Mother what they wanted through the language of the eyes. But both of them were experiencing something very strange. In the presence of the Mother, though the tears continued to stream down the cheeks, their tongues did not seem to gather sufficient energy to seek what they actually desired. Instead, the tongues seemed to pray for something which was totally unexpected, but something that their heart truly wanted. The two boys indicated here belonged to two different eras separated by more than 100 years. And yet, so similar was their situation that a single paragraph could be written about their plight and duplicated to describe the other!

The first lad was the 21-year old Naren who later grew into the world-famous Swami Vivekananda. His father had suffered a sudden demise in 1884 and the burden of staving off the family bankruptcy by repaying the dozens of creditors had fallen on Naren’s shoulders. Unable to bear the burden and unable to find a good paying job, he approached his new-found guru, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa.

“Master, Mother always listens to you. Why don’t you ask her to provide me and my family with sufficient financial resources to live a happy life?”

“My child! You suffer from the false idea that I am close to the Mother and you are not. Why don’t you yourself go to her and seek what you want?”

It was this goading that had resulted in Naren standing in front of the Mother. But as he stood before Her, he felt the warm trickle on his cheeks turn from tears of sorrow and lack into tears of gratitude. Without his knowledge, his tongue sought,

“Mother! Grant me discrimination... grant me devotion... grant me renunciation...”

He walked out of the temple and his Master reprimanded him for not seeking from the Mother what he immediately needed. He sent Naren back into the temple reminding him to remain focused on his wants. However, the lad was unable to do anything different even the second time. The drama repeated for a third time too when Naren realized that the Mother’s supreme love for him had made him seek what he truly needed.

(Here is a video of the beautiful dramatization of that episode between Naren and Mother Kali by the students of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning.)

The second lad was standing before Mother Kali but not in the Dakshineshwar temple. The year too was totally different, this one being 2000. However, Saptarshi Chatterjee’s tears too were as hot and sorrowful as Naren’s when he entered the temple. He too had lost his father’s support, in a different manner though. Seeing his below average marks in the Grade 12 exams, his father had called him and told him,

“See Sapto, the way you have been faring in high school is very depressing. If things go on in this way, you will not get admission into any decently good college even! I have no money to get you an admission by paying hefty donations to these educational institutions which have become businesses today. It is good that you try to find a job and get employed next year.”

The father’s words had bred regret and struck terror in the 17-year old’s heart. With God as the last resort, he had walked into the temple of Mother Kali in the evening after school. Swami Vivekananda was Sapto’s hero and he knew in his heart that he should not ask the Mother for anything worldly. Yet, so heavy was his heart that, unlike Naren, he poured out to the Mother,

“Mother, I am your child forever. Keep me safe and happy always by keeping me close to your bosom. But also ensure that I get higher education in a good Institute.”

And he cried and cried till his tears dried.

That was more or less Sapto’s schedule almost every day.

An Institute education and much more

Naren’s story of his growth into Swami Vivekananda is well documented. Saptarshi’s journey is bound to be interesting and inspiring for the modern youth who find it hard to emulate Swami Vivekananda though they wish to do so!

Unknown to anyone, Saptarshi had something in his life that Naren never had - a girlfriend! In the teenage years, he had experienced love at first sight. So powerful was the effect that he did not know whether she was an attraction or a distraction. Nevertheless, he felt that there was atleast a great traction in their relationship. In fact, it was she who seemed to bring the solution to his problem. She informed him about a very good Institute, the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning (SSSIHL), which promised great academic adventures and degrees without charging even a single penny as fees! Sapto was instantly interested and, seeking an application, he applied to this University in Puttaparthi, Andhra Pradesh.

In Hindi, there is a popular saying which goes thus,

“Dane dane par khanewale ka naam likha hain.” (Every grain of food has inscribed on it, the name of the person who will eat it.) The saying intends to heighten the importance of destiny in one’s life. Sapto found out that, apparently, every seat in the SSSIHL also had on it the name of the person who will get it! There was no other way to explain the miraculous sequence of events that led him to get through the entrance examinations, group discussions and the interview to actually procure a seat in the prestigious B.Com(hons) course at the Brindavan campus of the Institute. He called up his dear friend back at Calcutta to convey the good news to her. She also rejoiced. He wished he could go back home to give her a hug but the joining date did not permit a return journey back home.

Saptarshi performing a mimicry for his Swami in Kodaikanal

Sapto did not realize that he had won an admission into an Institute of HIGHER learning. However, as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, Sapto came under the divine umbrella of the little orange robed figure, the Chancellor the the University, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. Each little interaction with Him, his Swami, seemed to take him a step closer towards his unconscious yet ultimate goal of ‘Higher’ learning. Like hundreds of students before him, Sapto too wanted to become a ‘form boy’, the hostel lingo for a student who got the privilege of regular interactions with the Master. In the meanwhile, he also experienced the blossoming of his hitherto unknown talents of mimicry, mono-acting and dramatics.

Turning point

Sapto had not forgotten his love in Calcutta. She too sought admission in Swami’s womens’ college at Anantapur. The two hearts seemed to have come closer. However, Sapto was still undecided on whether she was an attraction or a distraction. He took the safe route of directing all his love and feelings towards his God, his Swami. In fact, he developed an irrepressible urge to sing a Bengali Rabindra Sangeet for Swami.

It was the year first week of October in the year 2004 and Sapto, having graduated with honours in the B.Com course, had enrolled for the MBA programme at Puttaparthi. During one darshan session (when Swami moved around the entire Sai Kulwant hall, blessing devotees and interacting with them), he gave Swami a letter expressing his desire to sing a Rabindra Sangeet for Him. Swami accepted the letter. Swami looked into his eyes and asked him,

“Do you want to sing it only to me?”

It was a song of love set in a melodious tune. Sapto had no second thoughts as he nodded that he indeed wanted to sing it out only for Him. Swami smiled and called him in for an interview. Sapto was pleasantly shocked! He could not imagine that the Lord was as eager to hear him as he was to sing for him. This was the first time in four years that he was actually entering the hallowed precincts of the interview room.

Seeing Swami from so close, Sapto had no words to say. He just sat in front of Him, dumbstruck. Very causally, Swami told him something that completely overwhelmed him,

“I have seen you come to me every evening and praying for good education. Your longing for me has impressed me. That is why I gave you this chance in my institution.”

Sapto’s mind was in a tizzy. What did Swami mean by that? He got to know Swami only in the year 2000 and he had done nothing like what He had said since then.

“Swami, I got to know you only when I joined here. Before that, I did not know you”, Sapto said before adding, “even in photographs!”

“Who do you think you have been praying to near your house? You think that she is only an idol? Her heart melted for you! She told me to take pity on you and it was on her request that I took you in!”

Now Sapto was reeling. How on earth did Swami know something that he had not shared with anyone else? Even as his head was spinning, he got a scary thought - this Swami knew everything about him. Getting on his knees, in a shaky voice, he said,

“Swami, I have committed many sins in the past...”

“Past is past! Forget the past. All your sins have been washed the minute you stepped into Parthi.”

Sapto was feeling that he was in some ethereal dream. Everything was happening so beautifully. Swami continued,

“I know that the girl you love is in Anantapur. But listen to me. Her family will not be suitable and amenable to you. When the right time comes, I shall give you a good girl, a girl who loves God. Remember, don’t run for sex! Run for Sai.”

The mind was blown to pieces and Sapto felt completely blank. He did not feel the need to say anything. Swami smiled and said,

“You want to sing something right?”

Sapto was unable to answer even that question. He was absolutely tongue-tied and washed away in the floods of Swami’s omnipresence and love. Swami smiled again. He took his right hand in His left hand and placed it on His chest. He then placed His right hand on Sapto’s chest.

“Sing now. It is heart to heart and you will get the tunes.”

Such was the surge of inexplicable bliss that Sapto’s heart began to serenade on its own! And to his great joy, Swami began to sing along! God and devotee, Master and disciple became one in that song of love. The words flowed effortlessly from both lips till the final line in the song, “Tomaro Madhuro Preme” (Your sweet love). Swami then said,

“See, how sweet My love is?”

A personal photograph overlooking the lake in Kodaikanal. 

Swami’s Vivekananda

The interview ended but not Sapto’s divine romance. He had goosebumps when Swami selected him as a principal actor for the upcoming Convocation drama on the 22nd of November, 2004. What was to be his role? Of Swami Vivekananda!!

Sapto (in turban) as Swami Vivekananda offers
a card to Swami before the Convocation drama.

The story of how the drama developed is another beautiful chapter in Saptos’ life but the fact remains that when he had to speak forcefully as the fiery monk seeking only divinity, Sapto could do it with great ease and natural flair. His pining for Swami and Swami’s reinforcing grace had indeed made a Vivekananda out of Saptarshi - a lad who was enjoying Ananda (bliss) because he had been conferred Viveka (wisdom)!

As he completed his narrative, Sapto told me,

“Aravind from that day till today I have received that Madhura Prema (sweet, divine Love) in various ways. My heart melts remembering that moment of my life as I write it to you. Whatever I have in life; am in life is because of Swami and Swami alone. Apart from pining for him (in some other form that too), I don’t know what else I have done. But what He has done and is doing, I can never repay even in a million lifetimes. I have a good family, a lovely job and everything is so smooth and fine. Even when things seem to go wrong, I know that it is just a part of His Masterplan! No complaints at all... no questions... no doubts. Just enjoying every moment that has been GIFTED!”

His narrative taught me the importance of always pining for the Lord. It also brought to my mind the statement Swami had made about the youth in modern times. That statement was made during the famous and historic discourse in 1976, in Ooty, when Swami materialized a medallion with a map of India on it.

I shall prepare individuals capable of spreading the Bharatiya culture and spirituality to the whole world. In the case of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, he had to use only one or two persons (for the fulfilment of Ramakrishna’s mission), Vivekananada and Brahmananda, who were sannyasis (renunciants). You don’t need to become sannyasis. In this particular task of Mine, I am going to use you young people in a large measure, as you are, putting you on the right path. I will use you as My instruments for doing all that is intended to be done.

Ah Swami! How loving you are! You seek nothing from us and yet promise to achieve everything through us. The modern world will surely see many Swami Vivekanandas for anyone who calls “Swami” with love and faith, you make a “Vivekananda” out of him/her.

If you enjoyed this, you may also like the following:

1. Pining for God is more important than experiences with God - a lesson from my Master

2. The final namaskar - the ultimate message of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

3. Why visit Prasanthi Nilayam (or any pilgrimage spot) when God is everywhere? - A message from Sri Sathya Sai

4. God's pining for a devotee.

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed monthwise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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