"Why fear when I am here" - the story of Anantappa and Sathya Sai

The relationship between God and the devotee is the relationship between God and God!

God and devotee

It was one of those famous ‘Trayee sessions’ at Brindavan, Whitefield (Bangalore). Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, ‘Swami’ as He is affectionately called, was seated on the ornate swing in the jhoola room and all around were the students who had decided to stay back in the ashram even during the summer vacations. This was a ‘sacrifice’ that they had gladly made for they knew for sure that they would receive much more than they had ‘given up’. Nothing is greater than being near and dear to the Master, their Swami, whom many even considered as their Lord. I too was among those students who considered Swami as his Master and Lord and so, for me, every word that fell from His lips and every action that He did was of great significance.

That day, Swami asked one of the senior teachers, Sri.Sanjay Sahni, to address the boys. As always, Sahni sir had a unique style of blending stories with messages. That day, he chose a very reassuring theme - that God will never sit quiet when a devotee is harmed or subjected to injustice. He narrated the experience of a devotee who was not ‘worldly-wise’ or ‘smart’. Thus, he was naturally exploited by many in different ways - especially emotionally and financially. During the narration, I was lost in my thoughts of Swami as I was sitting quite close to the swing. So, I am unable to remember the details of the experience he narrated. However, I cannot forget the ending statement that Sahni sir made,

“If you criticize the Lord or even harm Him, God will forgive you but just touch His devotee and you are finished!”

I remember that statement because there was a spontaneous applause and Swami looked at Sahni sir as if asking him to repeat the final statement. Sahni sir repeated the statement with greater volume and greater emphasis and that message got firmly reinforced in my heart.

In times of trouble

Many have been the instances in life when I know that people are being unfair to me or are trying the cheat/harm me. Sometimes, these ‘people’ have been those who are apparently very influential, powerful and wealthy. What I mean to say is that when they decide to put you into trouble, it looks like nobody can save you. You feel a great fear in the heart and think that maybe the best way out would be to compromise your stance and bend in front of them. At such times, it feels as though it does not matter what is ‘RIGHT’ or ‘WRONG’. Might automatically becomes right and since you are a weakling, you just have to shut up.

It is precisely in those times that I always recollect this episode at Trayee Brindavan. There is definitely a reason why Swami made Sahni sir repeat that statement. He wants it to be drilled deep within me that come what may, when I am right, the greatest power in the Universe is on my side. And that is the power of goodness or the power of God. So, all that I have to do is ensure that I am good and on the right path. The Lord may be loving and forgiving enough to suffer pain and ignominy. But He will not tolerate it if such pain and ignominy befalls the one who is dear to Him; the one who is on the path of goodness and love. Before I dilate further on a few other points, I must relate the powerful experience of Ananthappa’s daughter. This has been recorded by the legendary Prof.N.Kasturi in his autobiography, Loving God.

Anantappa’s problem

Anantappa was one among the sixteen peons at the college in Davanagere, Karnataka, where Kasturi was the College Head. He was slow in his thinking and considered by everyone as a dullard. He had difficulty carrying out the simplest of commands and any shopkeeper who was unscrupulous could cheat him with the greatest ease. He slept when he was supposed to be on guard-duty and did not seem to understand whether he was being scolded or praised.

And yet, Kasturi employed his services because he was a very pious soul. He seemed to have all his mind and heart dedicated to Swami. He spent hours of sincere efforts when it came to things related to Swami. Kasturi felt that Anantappa would surely lose his job if he was in the service of any other. Kasturi felt redeemed in his choice when Swami reciprocated Anantappa’s love. Swami showered him with grace divine and, on one occasion when Kasturi had taken him along to Puttaparthi, told Kasturi that Anantappa was not an ordinary soul. In his slum dwelling surrounded by drunkards, drug-addicts and vagabonds, Anantappa was like the saintly Vibhishana in Lanka, Swami had said. Numerous were the miracles that Swami performed to safeguard Anantappa and his family. That was the reason why the world could not take him for a ride even though he was a dullard - Swami would never allow that!

Anantappa’s younger daughter was wedded to an employee of the Mysore Railways(which has today been replaced by Southern Railways). This son-in-law, though a smart and intelligent man was of a highly suspicious nature. He always felt that his wife was flirtatious and even suspected that she kept the window of the house to ogle at men on the streets! In spite of all her explanations and pleas, he did not listen to her and often locked her within the home without even allowing a window to be opened. He even beat her at times based on his suspicions. Anantappa tried a lot to convince his son-in-law that his daughter was chaste and pure but it was all in vain.

Doubt is such a deadly demon and there is absolutely not cure for it! And before we start to criticize Anantappa’s son-in-law for his dastardly acts, we should examine our own selves to realize how often we fall prey to this demon called doubt. As Swami says, when things do not ‘seem’ to be going our way, we begin to doubt even God! We wonder at times whether God, in His ultimate knowledge, actually knows what is good for us? The demon of doubt can be defeated only by the angel of faith. But hey wait! Faith is so ‘unscientific’ right? Faith implies taking things at face-value without deep inquiry. Faith is only for those that are irrational!

Please allow me a much-needed detour before I get back on track to Anantappa’s son-in-law’s story.

Faith is about being rationally irrational instead of being irrationally rational

A simple case to point here. How do you know that you are your father’s child? Isn’t it because your mother told you that and you have faith in her words?

“Nah! I have a birth certificate issued by the doctor in the hospital that I was born. So, its not as if I am my father’s child because of faith.”
That means that you have faith in the doctor and the hospital where you were supposedly born. How are you sure that the doctor is not lying? Or that he is hand in glove in a nefarious scam with your ‘alleged’ mother/father?

“I see where you are going. But don’t think that proves me to be unscientific in my conviction about my parents. There is this thing called parental testing which is scientific. I can get that done.”
But hey! Wait a minute! You mean to say that you have faith in the instrument that does the test? How are you sure that there is no malfunction of the instrument? Worse still, how do you know that the method works? Isn’t that confidence based on faith that every hospital in the world is using the method and so it must be true? How can YOU be sure? Have you personally checked it?

If one goes on this way, one will realize that the only way one can be scientific is to have all the knowledge in the world - biological, engineering, medical, chemical etc. Then alone one will not need to take anything on faith. Else, somewhere along the line, one would have to have faith. There is no other choice. Now, here is the ‘faith way’ of parental testing. It works this way - Accept the person as your father/mother and the way he/she treats you in life will prove to you that the person has to be a parent to be so loving and sacrificing!

That is why, when science screams, “Seeing is believing”, Faith softly but firmly proclaims,
“Believing is seeing.” All said and done, faith is the only cure for doubt.

Swami cures the doubt of Anantappa’s son-in-law

Frustrated with her imprisoned life, the wife told her husband,

“Take me to Puttaparthi and ask Baba about me. He will vouch that I am a faithful wife to you. Else, I shall put an end to my life by jumping into the well there and you will be rid of me forever.”

Hearing the drastic words, the son-in-law agreed to accompany Anantappa and his family to Puttaparthi. With great love, Swami immediately granted them a personal audience. Without even being updated of the state of affairs, Swami told the doubting son-in-law,

“Your wife is as pure as Mother Sita (consort of Lord Rama). She is as noble and loving as Mother Parvati (consort of Lord Shiva). Take care of her.”

The son-in-law was struck by Baba’s omniscience and he nodded. Swami told Anantappa,

“Don’t worry. He is a good fellow. They will live happily from now on.”

But Swami’s words somehow seemed to be going wrong as the son-in-law was again caught by doubts. He wondered whether Anantappa and Baba had conspired to create this drama of ‘omniscience’. He charged his wife of infidelity and said he would take revenge. He got up and stormed out of the room, without bothering about Swami’s presence. Swami just smiled.

That night itself, the son-in-law said that they should leave Puttaparthi. At Penukonda railway station, the four got into the Bangalore-bound train. The son-in-law, by virtue of being an employee of the Railways, could get a first-class seating for his family. However, doubts and thoughts of revenge made him place his in-laws and wife in the wooden-seater, third-class compartment. He himself got into the empty first-class compartment. Now, he could plan the remaining part of his revenge in the solitude of luxury he thought.

The next morning, Anantappa was shocked to see a completely transformed son-in-law. He spoke humbly and sweetly and treated his wife with the greatest dignity and respect. In fact, he never locked her up ever again and almost worshipped her. Every month, he even submitted his entire salary to her to use for the house as per her discrimination and just sought a paltry sum of 15 Rupees as his pocket expenses! And Anantappa’s family indeed lived happily after that, just as Swami had said.

The consequences of ‘touching’ a devotee

What had actually transpired was something that Kasturi got to know later in a strange sequence of events. When he was waiting for a bus, his student came along in a horse-carriage and offered him a lift. Then, this sworn athiest of a student asked Kasturi about Puttaparthi and Baba. He was actually eager to meet him. When Kasturi asked him the reason for such sudden spiritual thirst, the student, a Railway Guard by profession, related the happenings of that fateful night when Anantappa’s son-in-law was transformed. He had been a personal witness to the events as they transpired.

Anantappa’s son-in-law was deeply lost in his plotting and planning in the late hours of the night in the first-class compartment. When the train was about 10 kilometers from the Thondebhavi railway station, all the lights in the compartment suddenly were ablaze and turned deep red. Suddenly, he saw Swami. But there was not one Swami. There were Swami’s everywhere and He seemed so angry. Blows began to rain on him from all sides and he was wondering how could Baba get on to a speeding train? How did He multiply Himself and how did He know what he was planning to do? But all those thoughts soon vanished as the pain from the blows hit him. Swami said,
“Won’t you believe me when I say she is innocent? Stop beating her! She is my child! In fact, all those who suffer are mine…”

Such was the impact and pain from the blows that the son-in-law rushed out of the compartment at Thondebhavi seeking solace and protection. His face and body were badly battered and he complained to the Railway Guard. Moments later, the compartment was completely empty and there was not a single red light therein. Anatappa’s son-in-law had experienced a transformation, albeit a forced one.

Months later, Kasturi was with Swami when He said that in His previous Avatar at Shirdi, He even beat people with sticks in apparent ‘bursts of anger’. Kasturi asked,

“Swami, in this Avatar, have you hit any one?”
“No. This Avatar is all love.”
“Still Swami, if not directly, have you hit anyone indirectly?”
“That is also out of love”, replied Swami with a twinkle in the eye.
Kasturi also just smiled in understanding as his heart completed,
“Love showered on a poor, hapless daughter!”

Concluding thoughts

“Why fear when I am here”.

Swami’s statement takes on new meaning for me here. All that I have to do is ensure that I am on the path of goodness and purity. Swami’s protective bubble is around me always when I do that and I have nothing to worry. Great forces in the universe may conspire against me but they are no match to the greatest force in the Universe that is protecting me. That is why the ancient Indian scriptures emphatically stated,

“Dharmo Rakshati Rakshitaha. Dharma Eva Hatho Hanthi.”
(Righteousness/Goodness protects those that protect Righteousness/Goodness. Righteousness/Goodness destroys those that destroy Righteousness/Goodness.)

Now that gives us reason to be good and fearless. It gives us reason and need to realize the importance of being good. Right? And while I am being good and following righteousness, those that wish to malign, criticize or torment me, beware! I have a great good wonderful Lord watching over me! Hehehehehehehehehe!

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like:

1. An amazing experience with Sathya Sai and the Suka Nadi

2. Sathya Sai fulfills a promise He gave as Shirdi Sai

3. Being an apple of the eye for God

4. The Sri Sathya Sai Education revolution sweeping across Karnataka

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed month-wise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 225 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - I have no life without Sai (experiences of S.Ravikumar) Part 3

God's Award: The only singer with the rare distinction of having sung during both, Baba's 60th Birthday and Baba's
85th Birthday. Here, Swami gives Ravi a shield in December 2010.

The qawwali nears completion

Time seems to fly very quickly when one is enjoying oneself. Every time that I have heard Ravi sing this beautiful qawwali, it has always felt too short. I am sure there are many that would have resisted the temptation to seek an encore because of two reasons:

1. It would look so undignified to do so in Swami’s presence.

2. The only way Ravi would do an encore was when Swami asked him to. In fact, the only time Ravi sings the qawwali is also when Swami asks him to.

Thus, every time the qawwali nears completion, one is always left wanting for more. On one occasion however, things took a different turn. I can never forget that day.

( The above photo collage video has as its background audio, the 13-year old Ravi's rendering of the immortal bhajan, "Brahmanda Nayaka Baba." The story behind it is so beautiful and thrilling and to know it, the reader must visit Part 2 of this story. Actually, this 3rd part is best read after completion of the first two parts which are presented in the links below:

1. Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - I have no life without Sai (experiences of S.Ravikumar) Part 1

2. Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - I have no life without Sai (experiences of S.Ravikumar) Part 2

To enjoy this concluding part better, it is recommended that the reader goes through the beautiful scenes of the above two parts as well.)

It was the 21st of May, 2006. Summer vacations were on and the students who had decided to stay back and not go home were enjoying the wonderful Trayee sessions at Brindavan in Bangalore. When Swami used to be in Brindavan, staff members from the various institutions in Puttaparthi would travel to Bangalore on the Sunday holiday to enjoy a day in His physical presence. May 21st was a Sunday and the staff from the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences had come to Brindavan. Among them was Ravikumar too. After the evening bhajan session, all of us went into Trayee Brindavan. Swami arrived and sat on the jhoola (ornate swing). He spoke with a few people seated nearby for a few minutes. As soon as He saw Ravi, He asked,

“How are you Ravi?”

As always, the response was just a smile. Swami turned to a student and asked him to sing a song. As soon as that song was complete, He told Ravi to sing and the mellifluous notes of the qawwali filled the air. The next five minutes passed like a breeze everyone in the hall was devotionally charged. Swami smiled, looked at Ravi and said,

“Sing a high-pitched bhajan now.”

“Krishna.... Krishna... Krishna...” began Ravi and followed it with the bhajan - Madhava Mohana Shyama Gopala.

“Nice, now sing another high-pitched song”, was the divine command.

Ravi responded with the Telugu song, “Namo Sathya Sai Baba.”

Swami now asked him to sing another song, one which everyone could follow and sing. Ravi waited for further clarification on the song which Swami wanted. Swami added instructions,

“The song goes high in pitch and fast in beat.”

Ravi was still silent. All of us began to whisper and mutter, guessing the probable song which Swami was hinting at. Swami then said that it was a qawwali. Sri.B.N.Narasimhamoorthy, the then warden of the Brindavan campus made a guess,

“Sai Ke Darbar Mein?”

“No, not that”, said Swami. Looking at Ravi, He again said,

“Sing...”

Ravi smiled at indicated the pitch of the song to the harmonium player. He sat up straight, closed his eyes and began the song Swami was seeking:

“Mohabbat Ki Kami Dil Mein...”

It was the SAME qawwali that he had sung right at the beginning. So, that was Swami way of asking for an encore. As Ravi hit the high notes of the qawwali, Swami closed His eyes too and lost in a trance! Needless to say, the following was thumping and the whole Brindavan reverberated with the qawwali. Even as he completed the qawwali, Swami got up with a satisfied look. He asked for Arati! The session was over because Swami seemed to have felt that it was ‘complete’!

In the bhajan hall, as Ravi came to the last line of the qawwali, he hoped that Swami would get up and leave. However, Swami did not get up to leave this time. He continued to stay.

Man Mandir Se, Jao Na Sai...

Chain Na Aaye Mohe, Chain Na Aaye.

(Oh Sai! Please do not leave the temple of my heart. Without you, I will be restless, without peace of mind.)

Ravi at once realized that in his song, he was actually asking Swami to stay in the mandir - the mandir of his heart! His thoughts quickly travelled back to the day when Swami had apparently tested him.

Nearness or dearness?

Ravi had got delayed at hospital (where he worked) that day. By the time he reached the mandir, the bhajan had begun. He sat in the last row and sang no bhajans that day. After the Arati, Swami sent for him and asked him,

“Why did you not come for bhajans?”

“Swami, I came. I was late and so I sat behind.”

“So what if you are late? You should have walked up to the front and sat in your place...”

Ravi gave no response. He only smiled and shook his head to indicate that he would not do that.

Swami egged him on saying that it would not be a problem if he came front.

Now here was an opportunity of a lifetime. Swami was saying that no matter what time he arrived, Ravi could royally walk up to the front and sit near Swami. Anybody in his place would have jumped at it and why not? Was it not the Lord Himself making the offer? But Ravi stuck to his stance. He again smiled to Swami and mentally said,

“No Swami, that isn’t right. The bhajan session is always the most important and not me. The song is more important than the singer. The Lord is always the top priority and nobody else.”

Swami had read his thoughts. Though no words had been exchanged, a lot had been communicated. Swami had patted him, smiled and said,

“Good boy.”

Ravi definitely had given up the chance to sit near Him but had grabbed the opportunity to be dear to Him with both hands! And that is another important lesson - strive to be dear to the Lord. To be dear means to follow what He says - to do things the way He would like them to be done even when nobody is watching or even when the Lord permits you to ‘violate’ the norm! And that requires great wisdom, humility and maturity. But if one manages to do that, Swami gifts him/her with the greatest blessing ever - Himself.

A Mother of mothers

The most poignant memory of the qawwali for Ravi however remains the 27th of September, 2004. Having been diagnosed with serious illness, his mother had been bravely battling on the health front. Swami had stood as a strong pillar of support during these troubled times. In fact, Swami had told the legendary Dr. H.S.Bhat to take charge of his mother. Though a Urologist, Dr.Bhat had invoked his numerous contacts and Ravi’s mother was receiving the best possible medical care. A major surgery had been scheduled for the 27th of September, 2004 at the SSSIHMS specially for her (at Swami’s behest).

That evening, as Ravi sat outside the operation theater in the hospital waiting for his mother, Swami had sat on the dais in Kulwant hall waiting for Ravi! In between the bhajans, He even asked about Ravi and was told that he had not yet come to the mandir. As the operation concluded successfully, Ravi rushed to the mandir in joy. He was not sure if he would make it in time for the Arati. He actually just made it in time!

Swami, having received Arati, had just got up to leave. Ravi, as was his practice, walked in from behind and sat in a corner. Sri Nitin Acharya, who was assisting Swami then, saw Ravi from the corner of his eye. He told Swami,

“Swami, Ravi has come.”

Immediately, Swami beckoned to him and Ravi moved up to Him on the dais. Swami enquired as to how the surgery had been and Ravi update Swami with a smile saying that everything was fine by His grace. Swami sat back on the chair and told Ravi to sit in front of him, in the first line of the bhajan group. Looking into his eyes, He made a subtle movement. Ravi closed his eyes and began the qawwali.

Ravi’s heart was filled with gratitude at what his divine mother had done for his earthly mother. He had been so nervous and worried about his mother and Swami had quelled all his worries. At a time when it seemed that everything was wrong, Swami had indeed shown him that He was always by his side. The words flowed out effortlessly,

Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye.

When he completed the qawwali that day, there was pin drop silence and Swami seemed to be drinking deep into the beauty of that silence. In fact, when the priest rose to give a second Arati (for every session, as a rule, must conclude with Arati), Swami told him to sit down. As though carrying the beautiful vibrations of the qawwali, Swami just retired for the day without speaking a word with anyone else.

“Swami has that special ability - to make you feel that you are the world for Him. I felt it that day and I knew that He was the world for me!” completed Ravi.

The Lord and devotee share a moment through their eyes during the Prema Pravaham programme,
performed during the 85th Birthday Celebrations.

Parting thoughts - ones to treasure

Ravi’s parting statement reminded me of my own experience where I felt that I was the world for Swami. I am sure that each and every one has received an experience like this in some way or the other where Swami has shown him/her that he/she is the world for Him. Isn’t that the reason why we too join in the qawwali, singing aloud,

Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye

Chain Na Aaye Mohe Chain Na Aaye

Even as the qawwali gathers momentum, the singer climaxes into an Alaap,

“Aaaa....aaaa....”

Isn’t that so natural? When the heart is full, words are few but when the heart overflows, there are no words at all!

Little wonder that Ravi realized the secret of life through the song of his life. The song begins with an apparent mourning,

“Mohabbat Ki Kami Dil Mein” (the absolute lack of love in the heart).

But it concludes with the state of ecstasy where there are no words because the heart is overflowing with His love and grace - Aaaa....aaa....

Sitting in the bhajan hall and singing the qawwali of his life in front of the goal of his life, Ravi realized that he would never ever feel a lacuna in his heart because his Sai was always there. He only had to turn inward and he would see that his Swami is waiting for him there. There was no need for a separate and special darshan session any more - every moment of his life would be a darshan session for Swami.

Is it any surprise that he rarely sings this qawwali any more?

...because he is internally singing it every day of his life.

After his final programme performance in Swami's physical presence, Swami materialized a gold chain for Ravi and
placed it close to his heart. A symbolic gesture indeed.

Wouldn't it be great to learn bhajan singing from this humble devotee of the Lord? Radiosai offers more than 150 bhajans taught by brother Ravikumar in its popular Bhajan Tutor page. Do check it out.

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Also explore the 40-odd 'previous articles' listed month-wise on the top right here. Another blog which I maintain with more than 225 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)

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1. God’s Grace makes everything possible
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Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - I have no life without Sai (experiences of S.Ravikumar) Part 2

In Kodaikanal with Swami, 1992. 

Change of worlds

As Ravi completed his 5th grade at Ooty, his father received the shocking news. There was no way Ravi could continue his schooling in Ooty any more. The administration had started the school with grades 1, 2 and 3. Progressively, every year, they had added one more class. In 1981 however, they felt that it would not be feasible to add 6th grade to the school. Having enjoyed the beautiful proximity of Swami for 3 years, Ravi was now facing prospects of not being a ‘Sai-student’ any more.

{This is actually part 2 of Ravi's story. To appreciate it better, it is highly recommended to read Part 1 from the link below and then continue with this.

Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - I have no life without Sai (experiences of S.Ravikumar) Part 1 }

Well, that had his father restless and worried more than him. What was to be done next? Instinctively and intuitively, they went to Puttaparthi. Hope dawned there as it always does to those who look towards Puttaparthi as their first and last recourse. The Smt. Easwaramma High School had been inaugurated and running well and Ravi’s father decided to enrol his son there. There was one problem however - the school had the Telugu language as its medium of instruction and Ravi knew as much Telugu as he knew Mandarin or Hebrew!

A special exception was made for these children who had arrived from Ooty and the teachers explained in English as well. Also, the subject Telugu was replaced with another language, Hindi. So, Ravi's (and the others') academic difficulties were greatly reduced. On the whole, Ravi was happy in school because he saw many of his Ooty classmates there. (Apparently, many other parents too had turned to Puttaparthi as their recourse like Ravi’s father!) Ravi’s mother had mixed feelings - her little boy would be still staying away from her but now, he was much ‘closer’ to Swami since he was in Puttaparthi itself. Ravi had no idea about the difficulty that he was about to go through.

There was no Sri Sathya Sai Primary School or the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School in Puttaparthi then. And so, all these children who enrolled into the Easwaramma School were accommodated in the college hostel itself. These were going to be the most challenging 2 years of Ravi’s life as he moved from a hostel where everything was done for him into one where he had to fend for himself completely! Forget the chores of washing his own clothes, Ravi had not got accustomed to even washing his plate and tumbler after meals. Fending for himself put tremendous pressure on him and that was when he began to get worried and restless. He began to lose weight and wonder how his little shoulders would bear so many responsibilities. Today, he realizes that it is only the searing heat and tremendous pressure that turns a piece of carbon into a diamond. Back then, he only felt the heat and pressure. Wilting under it, he felt weak and finally fell sick. For some strange reason, he had got severely asthmatic in hot Puttaparthi having flourished without any medical problems in cold Ooty. Asthma brought him down on his knees and confined him to his bed.

He wondered why he was doing all that he was doing? Why couldn’t he just go back home to his parents? He could not because

Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye -

He could not stay without his Sai. He thought of his beautiful days at Ooty - days when Swami was just meters away from his room door. How he missed those days!

Chain Na Aaye Mohe Chain Na Aaye

He was so restless without Sai.

Even as he felt thus, he could hear a rush of excitement from the room windows. Getting up from the bed, he went to the door. He could not imagine that his imagination of a few minutes back would transform into concrete reality. A few meters away from him was his Swami!

Swami came to him and enquired about his health. How did He know? Ah! What is it that He does not know? Just because Swami does not show that He knows on every occasion does not mean that He does not know. And yet, he was asked and so Ravi answered that he was not feeling well. The divine right palm went a-circling and lo, there was fragrant vibhuti in an instant. The vibhuti was bitter to taste but Ravi was all smiles. When it is the Lord who is gifting, what does it matter if it is bitter or sweet?

On several occasions, Swami blessed Ravi and gave him vibhuti but the episode in the hostel was like
a life-changer!

That was another lesson for life that made Ravi the epitome of calm and composure that he is today. If he could take everything in life as a gift from Swami, he would always be able to smile irrespective of whether it was bitter or sweet. It didn’t matter where he was - Ooty or Puttaparthi because Swami was with him in all places, in all worlds!

Living for God is true devotion

Ravi continued to sing in the bhajan hall, not opening his eyes even for a moment. He did not want to see the prostrate form of his Swami before him. Instead, he chose to ‘see’ Swami with his eyes closed. And that was when he realized that whenever he had sung the qawwali, he had always kept his eyes closed - even when Swami was physically present in front of him. He had done that so naturally till then and today he understood the divine wisdom behind his seemingly unconscious action. Swami wanted him to always search for Him within. Is that not what SAI stands for - See Always Inside?

But he wanted to see Sai outside too! Though his eyes were closed today, he could not help ‘knowing’ that Swami was not sitting on the chair in front of him. He might never hear Swami speak to him the way He had done always.

Why Swami? Are you upset with me? Are you ignoring me? Won’t you speak to me? I am ready to die for you if need be but please be with me always...

Mith Mar Jaye Tujhpe Hamse Na Roothe Tu

Zindagi Saump De Ham Charanon Mein Tere Yun

( Sai, please do not be upset with me for I am ready to die, to lose my existence, for you. I(we) offer my(our) life at your lotus feet.)

Memories galore flooded his heart. Memories in which Swami had asked him to sing on numerous occasions. One memory stood out vividly.

He was in grade 8 now and had got enrolled in the newly inaugurated Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School after 2 years in the Smt.Easwaramma High School. Swami regularly made him sit in the front lines and asked for him to sing a bhajan now and then. During the Dusshera festival of 1984, Ravi got a chance of his life.

He had picked up a new bhajan, “Brahmanda Nayaka Baba, Parthi Purishwara Baba.” When he had sung it in the hostel, everyone had got thrilled at the melody in the voice and the soul in the song. Ravi also thoroughly enjoyed singing that bhajan. But he never imagined what would happen next.

A live bhajan recording of Ravikumar rendering Brahmanda Nayaka Baba

The Dusshera Yajnam is conducted every year for the peace and good of the whole Universe (Brahmanda). And the deity receiving the prayers is the Brahmanda Nayaka (Master of the Universe) himself. That year, in 1984, as Ravi sat with his classmates in the Poornachandra auditorium, he got an excited summon. Looking up, he realized that Swami was calling him on to the stage. Trembling with excitement and with adrenaline rushing, he went up the stage to Swami. Swami asked for a mike to be brought. There was a rush on the stage and one of the college students requested a Veda pundit to lend the microphone in front of him. The mike was placed before the 13-year old. Swami told him to sing the bhajan,

“Brahmanda Nayaka Baba.”

Standing beside Swami, closing his eyes and praying for His grace, Ravi began the bhajan. The whole hall got enveloped in raptures of devotion. The following was simply terrific. But even then, the little boy did not get excited. He just wanted to make his Swami happy. He completed the bhajan and looked at Swami. He had definitely achieved what he had sought to do - Swami was so happy - and proud. Well, the ‘proud’ part is what I am inserting for Ravi never said that. He never accepts that Swami is ‘proud’ of him and it is my emotion that makes me use that word.

As he mentally leafed through that memory, one thing became very clear for Ravi. Swami had always wanted him to sing for Him - even at times when He seemed ‘upset'. He never wanted him to be silent. That was another powerful message for Ravi - never cease doing what you do for the Lord, even if the Lord seems upset or silent. He felt that even as he told Swami that he was ready to die for Him, Swami was gently reminding him that He wanted him to live for Him! Dying for God is relatively easy because it is a one time thing. Living for God, on the other hand, is a lifelong commitment and that is what Swami expects from each of us. We have to continue our ‘singing for him’ throughout life, irrespective of what happens. That is why Swami tells us,

“Living for God (and not dying for God) is true devotion.”

The qawwali comes alive

The qawwali of Ravi’s life - Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - came into existence in 1988. Ravi had completed his schooling then and was in the 1st year of his undergraduate studies at Brindavan, Bangalore. A group of students wrote the lyrics for a qawwali and composed a tune for it. They wanted this qawwali to be offered to Swami during a music programme. Two singers were chosen to sing it in the Divine Presence. One was a 3rd year undergrad student, Rajendra Kumar and the other was Ravi.

They did sing it together. Swami seemed to like it too. That became evident when, months later, Swami again asked for that qawwali to be sung. This time however, it was during the summer vacations and Rajendra had gone home. Swami asked Ravi to sing it alone. The rest, they say, is history.

Ravi actually has no count of the number of times he has been asked by Swami to sing the qawwali. But he surely knows that Swami made several changes to the length of the song. It went through several iterations of ‘Divine editing’ before being accepted in its current concise avatar.

Ravikumar singing and dancing as Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. During that drama, Swami asked Ravi to sing the 
same qawwali! Just imagine Chaitanya Mahaprabhu singing a qawwali! The qawwali was modified as
"Shyam Bina Raha Na Jaaye" and Ravi indeed sang it as a grand finale! 

After playing the role of Krishna's gopika, Yamuna.

Slowly, Ravi began to get opportunities to act in many dramas in Swami’s presence. Needless to say, his roles in the dramas, like in the drama of life, were inextricably intertwined with music. Those were days when there was no pre-recording of dramas and both, the dialogues and songs, were delivered live. Thus, most of the lead actors (who had to do singing) were all good singers. That was how Ravi got the chance to play the role of Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, a role that he performed with great devotion and elan.

I feel that the Chaitanya Mahaprabhu role was symbolic of the role Swami envisaged for His Ravi. Chaitanya Mahaprabhu is considered as one of the main pillars of the Bhakti movement (Devotion revolution) and a pioneer of the Bhajan Sampradaya (tradition of singing bhajans as a means to achieve God). Ravi being given that role in the drama was also being given a hint about the role that he had to play in his life too - to become a pillar of the Bhakti Movement via the Bhajan Sampradaya. Ravi, as always, shrugs it away and says,

“Swami gives us the opportunity to play such roles so that we are inspired by such pure lives.”

Did I not say the same thing?

Ravi continued to sing the qawwali and it now progressed towards a change in tempo. From now on, it would move towards it’s climax. A thousand feelings coursed through Ravi’s heart and many in’sai’ghts began to dawn...

to be concluded in the next part

Sai Bin Raha Na Jaaye - I have no life without Sai (experiences of S.Ravikumar) Part 3

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