Begging for change

Caught between the horns of a dilemma

It was a fine day, the 21st of February, 2008, to be precise. It had been nearly eight months since I had been employed at Radiosai Global harmony (at Prasanthi Nilayam, Puttaparthi) through an amazing sequence of events. I was happy and contented, enjoying the transition from a student’s life to working man’s life. Completing my work that morning, I set out for lunch in the South Indian canteen. I bought some coupons and was about to enter the canteen, when I was accosted by a blind person.

“Sairam sir. Could you help me?”

I told the others who were with me to continue without me and then held the hand of this person.

“Tell me, how can I help you?”

“My name is Raju. Here are all my certificates that prove it...”

So saying, he began to dig into the shoulder bag to pull out several sheets of paper. I was taken aback. Why was he showing me proof for his name? Why didn’t he just state what he wanted?

“Raju, please, I do not need proof for your name. Is there someplace where I can drop you off at?”

“Sir, I have to go to Karimnagar. I am a poor person and I have completed my high schooling. I cannot afford university education though I have a strong passion for academics. I was told that there is a free University in Puttaparthi. So, I have come here with all my certificates. But people here say that I cannot join the University because admissions do not open till April and they do not have facilities to serve my special needs.”

“ I am very sorry to hear that, but I am afraid that is the case.”

“So, I want to return home now. But I have no money with me... I am stuck here. Can you help me?” Raju trailed off.

And in an instant, I was between the horns of a dilemma.

Should it be "Guilty till proven innocent"or
"Innocent till proven guilty"?

“Either Raju is really in trouble or he is a wonderful actor and con artist who plans to swindle me”, was my first thought. The subsequent thoughts too were all along those lines. I did not know what to do. Should I walk away and risk being a heartless person? Should I help Raju and risk getting swindled? My mind was a whirlpool of such thoughts.

For those that are a little lost at my predicament, let me take you through the reasons behind these thoughts.

The problem of beggary in India

Begging and beggars are rampant in many countries of the world. India, my motherland, boasts of being home to the maximum number of beggars in the world. That is definitely not a statistic that I am proud of. It pains my heart and I want to do something for them. However, beggary is not a straightforward problem which can be eradicated. Please allow me to present a few points which highlight the ‘controversy’ in the problem.

1. When people are not willing to work hard, ‘help’ rendered to the beggars might be actually encouraging people to be lazy! In fact, in the tenfold path to divinity, Bhagawan Baba stresses,

“Do not throw coins when beggars stretch their hands for alms; help them to become self-reliant. Provide food and shelter, love and care, for the sick and aged.”

2. There are studies which show that in many cases, beggars earn more than workaholics! Beggary is a lucrative and easy ‘profession’ which is being forced upon many children too. It is run like a business with many mafias being the stakeholders.

3. Swami has often stressed that apart from the person who actually does the sin, there are four others who also share the burden of the sin - one who is the cause, one who encourages the act of sin, one who shows the ways and means to commit the sin and one who witnesses it. I have myself observed how a lady with a starving child pleaded for some milk powder in Puttaparthi. One person’s heart melted and she purchased a box of milk powder from a medical store. Once she left, the begging ‘mother’ returned the box to the story in return for a few rupees. Both the beggar and the shopkeeper had made a neat swindle!

So, you see, when it comes to serving beggars, it is not a simple issue. One has to be diligent and vigilant like the devotees in Chikmagalur (Karnataka) are.

And now, you will also understand the cause of doubt in my mind and my hesitation when it came to helping Raju.

My solution

My first thoughts were to take Raju to the security office or the PRO (Public Relations Officer) office and let him seek help there. I suggested this to him and even accompanied him to those offices. But there was nothing they could do. I told Raju to sit on a bench and told him that I would be back soon. I went to the other end of the bench and sat down. I closed my eyes in my attempt to shut down my mind which was speaking both ways - for and against Raju. I tried to get in touch with my Swami in my heart.

My experience has been that Swami always answers when one seeks. I got the answer almost instantaneously and I ‘knew’ that this was Swami speaking. I ‘knew’ because my thumb rule in distinguishing between the voice of the mind and the voice of the heart never fails me. I got up with a smile in my heart and went to Raju. I told him,

“Shall we go to the bus station?”

“Whatever you say...”

“I will buy you a ticket to Karimnagar.”

“Will you? Really? Wow...” Raju was so happy.

We went to the APSRTC bus stand in Puttaparthi. I made Raju sit on a bench there and went to the counter. There was a bus for Karimnagar in a few hours time. I asked how much the ticket would cost. The reply was that it would be about Rs 350. I shuddered for a moment. That was almost 8% of my monthly salary! The mind immediately jumped into play,

“I think that Raju guy is a fraud. Don’t simply give away your hard-earned money!”

But then, the soothing yet firm voice from deep within seemed to speak through my mouth,

“One ticket for today evening’s bus please.”

Within moments, I was with a beaming Raju who was thanking me. Seeing his joy, I was sure that he was not any kind of scamster. I took his hand and placed a 100 rupees note in it. I told him,

“Here. This is 100 rupees okay? I am telling you so that you should not get cheated by anyone. Use it for your food during the long journey.”

Quickly, I bid him goodbye and returned to the South Indian canteen for lunch. I somehow felt so full without even eating.

The doubts come tumbling back

I don’t know how it happened or why it happened, but, my doubts about Raju came rushing back in the darshan that evening. Maybe it was because Swami did not even look at me and I had felt that I would receive a special blessing because of my ‘good deed’. Today, thanks to Swami’s love and grace, I know a few things about the way karma works which I did not know then. So, I felt a bit discouraged. A sad and confused mind is a fertile breeding ground for the devils called doubt, disillusionment, disappointment, discouragement and ‘dis’ease.

Within moments, I was feeling terrible that I had not only bought Raju a ticket but I had also paid him an extra 100 rupees.

“10% of my salary down the drain because of my stupid sentimentality”, I thought and felt more horrible. Such thoughts ruined my whole day and Swami, on His part, did not do anything to assuage me of my doubts or reassure me in any way.

Isn’t it funny how fast we forget the wonderful experiences and get mired in doubt? I had experienced joy that had made me almost give up my lunch and yet, here I was, hours later, brooding and repenting!

The dream

That night I had a dream. And that changed everything. My doubts melted and the joy returned to my heart because I know that dreams of Swami are always true. The dream was like this:

Swami came in the car and He stopped it in the porch of the and He wanted me and me alone to help Him come out of the car to sit on a wheelchair. However, when I went near Him, I felt that He needed no help. So, I just stood, waiting and watching. He proceeded to get up but then, all of a sudden, He collapsed back into the seat of the car!That shocked me and with both my hands, I plunged into the car. I helped Him up like I would help a baby. Then, the wheelchair was brought in by somebody. As I was going to seat Him on the chair, I again had a thought that my help was not needed. I just let go and again, He  fell down next to the chair. I was horrified this time. More than me, Swami seemed horrified and there was pain in His eyes. That pain was surely due to my doubting mind that had made me ‘let Him down’ for a second time! I rushed on to my knees and then the way I held Him, it was to ensure that He would never fall again. I was hugging Him and I helped Him sit. As He sat, I went to His ear and apologised. He seemed to say that it didn't matter.

As I woke at 4:00 am, the first thought in my head was, "Oh my God, Swami needed help yesterday and I made Him suffer only because I kept doubting whether He really and genuinely needed my help or not."

Due to some hard experiences, somehow I do not trust people that easy. They are under suspicion till they prove to be good. That is not good, I learnt. I should give everyone my love like I give it to Swami. He will take care of me to ensure I do not suffer for He is always there with me, guiding me from within.  All I need is the courage to follow the guidance from within.

And so, when it comes to people begging or seeking anything from me, I seek an answer from my heart. It may seem unbelievable, but every time, the answer is there. After that, I pray for the courage to follow what the heart is saying and go ahead.

That, I feel, is what we must do when someone begs for change. ‘Beg for a change’ in them! And then be ready to assist them in that change. For, every time we beg for a change and achieve it, Swami’s face will light up in joy. He will know that He can rely on us. Isn’t that fantastic? Trusting in God is one thing, but God trusting us! Amazing right? Those are my two cents on the topic of begging and beggars.

If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy:

1. Faith and self-confidence - Story of the little bird

2. Love is My Form: Most comprehensive biography of the early years of Sri Sathya Sai

3. Blessing two birds with one stone

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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Kalpagiri - A murderer's story with Sathya Sai

A story of how God's love penetrated the darkest
of prisons

One fine morning in the early 1960s, a letter was received at Prasanthi Nilayam, the abode of supreme peace set up by Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. It was one among the several responses from the prisoners in a high-security jail in rural Andhra Pradesh. The contents of the letter poured gratitude for Baba and they read as follows:

"We are sinners, certainly; but, our lives have become full of hope, for, we have rendered ourselves fit to receive Your Grace! Really, if there are any who can be declared fortunate in the world, we are the ones and we are truly proud of this. That the stream of Your Mercy has started flowing towards these mean men who have injured society and who are suffering punishment, is no ordinary event. We prayed that You should grant us Your Darsan and Your Blessings. You have written to us, out of the vastness of Your Mercy that You will elevate us with Darsan,Sparsan and Sambhashana, at Puttaparthi! Sage Nârada blessed Savithri, a widow, with the statement, "May you have the status of living with your husband for a long time", and, she was able to win her husband back from the dominion of death. We too have learnt from Kalpagiri, that Your Word always comes true. It knows no defeat."

Who was this Kalpagiri whose name finds mention in a prisoner’s letter to Swami? His story is one of forgiveness and faith, gratitude and grace. And to witness it first hand, let us visit the jail in which he has been confined for the past two years.

The setting is in a high-security jail for life-term prisoners at a town in Andhra Pradesh in the early 1960s.  A bhajan session is in progress and if not for the presence of many policemen and the dresses donned by the prisoners, it would be nearly impossible to say that it is a prison! The bhajans conclude with “Jai Jaikars” in the name of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

Kalpagiri: (addressing a group of new prisoners) Sairam. Each and every one of you must be cursing this day in your lives when you have been cast into the confines of this jail. But let me assure you that this is a blessing in disguise for this is a prison that has been blessed by God’s love in abundance. Debt, enmity and murder are acts that have to be inescapably atoned for without exception. That we have won this opportunity to do it at this blessed time when the Lord, our God has graced the earth as Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba is indeed a fortune beyond our wildest dreams. Believe me, He will save us not only from the chains of this prison, but also from the shackles of this bodily prison which have trapped us in this transient world.”

Ramu: Easy for you to preach philosophy Kalpagiri because your death-sentence has been changed into one of lifelong imprisonment by the President of India. What about me? What about Raaka here? We are to be hanged in a month....

Kalpagiri: You have at least a month. Raja Parikshit had only 7 days to live and yet, that was the most blessed week of his life for he sanctified it with the stories of the Lord. He died after seven days in the eyes of the world of course, but ah! What a glorious death it was! Once one realizes the Truth of one’s unity with the Lord, death is as benign as sleep. It is not late to seek God Ramu...Raaka. Seek Sai and all will be well.

Chengappa: How can you say that? Are you sure that we will be saved?

Kalpagiri: Dear old Chengappa... Always doubting...Sai’s grace will surely reach you, wherever you are. And I know this from my own life experience.

Nasir: Pray share that experience with us... Maybe then, some of your conviction and confidence will get rubbed on to us as well.

Kalpagiri: It was in a fit of fury and madness that I committed a foul murder. Ah! How my heart aches even to think of that day! (pauses for a moment)

But back then, the only thing I wanted to do was to avoid the sleuth-eyed police of the area. So, I ran away to the Himalayas in an attempt to smother the cries of my guilt-ridden conscience. I donned the ochre robes and wandered from dharamshalas to hermitages in an attempt to make that external peace a part of my soul. Four years I spent thus, but to no avail.

Chengappa: It is said that the Himalayas are home to many saints, sages and people in touch with divinity. Didn’t you meet anyone who could help you?

Kalpagiri: Oh! I met a lot of them. But they could not help me in any way for I wasn’t open to them. Whenever I met a saint, a sage, a sadhaka or a monk, my mind was tormented by a doubt - Are these people too like me? Are the robes and rigors, devotees and disciples camouflage for the evil and wickedness within? Indeed, one perceives the world based on what one is. I felt all of them too, were like me, cheats.

Nasir: How then did you get to know Baba?

Kalpagiri:  Having met dozens of masters and read hundreds of books, having had intense discussions on Bhakti, Karma and Jnana, I was still dissatisfied. That was when, I felt that the Himalayas were not helping and decided to turn to the holy places back in South India. I extensively travelled in South India - Simhachalam, Tirupati, Kanchi, Rameshwaram, Chamundi Hills and even Shirdi. I did not get peace still but learned about the abode of highest peace at Puttaparthi. Imagine my plight when I realised that what I had been looking for was probably in my own homeland! I boarded a train to Guntakal, got off at Penukonda and arrived to Puttaparthi by a bus from there.

Raaka: That was when you were overwhelmed by Baba’s love? Did He meet you? Did He know what you had done?

Kalpagiri:  When I first met him in the interview room, I was overwhelmed by his all-knowing wisdom before being overwhelmed by his love. Swami knows everything. Nothing can be hidden from him by time or space. He immediately chided me for running away from the consequences of my deed. As I bent my head down in shame, he told me,

"Why postpone for another birth the suffering, which you must undergo in return for the dire deed?"

Then, telling me to wait, He went up to His apartment. He came down with white clothes and told me that the ochre robes are not meant for those that still had dues to be paid in this world.

Chengappa: What did He want you to do? Change clothes to change your fate?

Kalpagiri: That was a symbolic change. He told me to go straight to the police and confess my crime. He also told me to cheerfully accept whatever punishment was meted out to me. To strengthen me for the ordeal, He gave me 4 packets of vibhuti, the holy ash. But I was very scared. I told him that I would be hanged. His face melted into a most captivating smile. He lovingly patted me and firmly reassured me,

“You will not be hanged; I promise that. Your neck shall wear a Japamala, a rosary, which I shall myself put round it, when you come to Me after the sentence is over.”

Raaka:  So, though the police did not catch up with you, you offered yourself to them?

Kalpagiri: How could I not? The experience with Baba was so overpowering. His love mesmerised me completely. The police had not caught up with me, but I was sure that my good luck had. I was not going to let go of this opportunity of a lifetime! I immediately took the train back to my native place. In the train too, something interesting happened. There was a person lying on the seat. He was clutching his abdomen and seemed to be in great pain. I immediately opened a packet of vibhuti and poured the ash into his mouth. Then and there I experienced a miracle?

Chengappa: The man became fine in no time? Right?

Kalpagiri: Yes. That happened. But the miracle I was talking about is different. The fact that I empathized with another’s suffering and sacrificed the precious vibhuti for a total stranger was a miracle for me. I knew that the seed of transformation had been planted in my heart by Baba. I also knew that Baba was divinity in human form. I went to the police and confessed as advised. I also remained cheerful in spite of being handed the death-penalty. My Swami’s words would not fail me. Within a few days, I received the Presidential pardon and my sentence was changed. Here I am, alive in every sense of the term. I had killed myself and Baba has resurrected me.

Chengappa: This is for the fifth time I am hearing your tale Kalpa and each time I hear it, I have tears in my eyes. That is why I sit as if it is the first time.

(facing all the other prisoners)

Friends! What Kalpagiri says is abolutely true. I have also experienced the same. A slight difference of opinion arose between myself and my wife and, so, I decided that she should no longer live on earth. I resolved to end my life too, along with hers. Placing some poison on my tongue, I stabbed her while sleeping and swallowed the fatal dose. The woman died; but, death declined to accept me. So, I ripped open my bowels, with the knife still dripping with her blood and fell on the floor. I regained consciousness in the hospital, to which the police had transported me. They stitched the ghastly wound and made me whole. Later, while I was confined at the Rajahmundry Jail, they had to open the stomach again and after some years, once again, in order to repair the damage done in previous operations. The wonder was, I survived all these calamities. That was when I met Kalpagiri and inspired by his story, wrote a letter to Baba. I am sure He will respond to me also.”

Narrator: Such was the transforming power of Baba’s love that the labour camp that the jail is became a sadhana retreat! Every prisoner was inspired by Swami’s love and would write letters regularly to Baba. The warden of the prison and the police force there also became devotees of this Master who had converted a rotting jail into a vibrant community of god-lovers. Days grew into weeks and weeks into months. Then came that Thursday morning.

Setting:

Morning work has just concluded and Kalpagiri is leading bhajans. Just as the Aarthi is about to be given, the Warden walks into the scene.

Warden:  Before we conclude the session today, I would like Kalpagiri to perform the Aarthi.

Kalpagiri: (surprised) Surely sir. But why this... all of a sudden?

Warden: Because this will be the last bhajan session for you Kalpagiri. Here are your release orders. Get ready to leave. But before that, please perform the Aarthi in our prison.

(Kalpagiri is quite amazed at the sudden turn of events. He gladly accepts the offer and does the Aarthi. He is in tears even as he does so. It is almost as if he is reliving that interview with Swami that changed his entire life. )

Warden: Kalpagiri, out of the blue, we were asked for our recommendations about you. I swear that I made no recommendation. I just made an itemised list of all the activities you have started and carried out in our jail. In fact, I also wrote to the decision-making bodies that your absence will be sorely felt in case you are freed. In spite of that, they have decided to reduce your punishment and let you go as a free man. Your transformation story, they say, will be an inspiration to society.

Kalpagiri: I am truly humbled sir. It is magical what God’s love and grace can do to you. All the while I was running and thinking that am free, I was in the thickest chains. And then, having won God’s grace, I felt so free even in this maximum security prison. I do not know anything about being an inspiration to society for I do not seek to stay in society any more. My life is Sri Sathya Sai and it is to Him that I am headed now. I have just followed what He said and everything has changed so wonderfully.

Chengappa: (rushing to Kalpagiri and embracing him) I have mixed feelings today Kalpa. I am happy that you are being liberated from the prison but sad that am being separated from you. You have been more than a brother for me. You were the one to water my parched heart with the showers of Baba’s love.

Kalpagiri: Do not grieve Chengappa. And do not restrict Swami’s love. I was just an instrument. Reach out to Him. When you look to Him, He definitely looks to you. He has said that if anyone needs Him, they deserve Him. He will never let go of you. Hold on to Him.

(Just then, another police constable arrives on the scene. he is carrying the mail to be distributed to all the prisoners. He hands over one envelope to Chengappa as well.)

Chengappa: (in tears) Oh my God! Oh my God! This is God! See Kalpa, whatever you have told is true. Here is a letter to me from Baba. Ah! Blessed indeed is this day. Jai Bolo Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba Ji Ki....

JAI... JAI... JAI

If you need me, you deserve me. - Baba

Thus ends this narrative of Baba’s love and glory in a prison. Kalpagiri went straight back to Prasanthi Nilayam, in Puttaparthi, where Bhagawan Baba welcomed him with open arms. He materialized for him the promised rosary and Kalpagiri became an epitome of transformation by love. But this is just a sample. Baba has been accepted as the Guardian and Refuge by some prisoners in the Hazaribagh and Gaya jails too. Like the mother who pours extra love on the wayward child, Swami is kind to the repentant criminals and the sunshine He spreads over them is a sign of His Universal Love. He has always insisted on the criminal confessing his crime and bearing the consequences gladly, resolving not to repeat the offence. As a matter of fact, He advises against asking pardon. Be bold, face the result, suffer and learn fortitude. Repentance is enough compensation for the sin; so, use the period of the sentence, for repentance and inner purification. That is his advice.

If your thirst for stories of such transformation is not satiated, please visit the chapter entitled “With wounded wings” in part 2 of the biographical book-series, Sathyam Shivam Sundaram.

If you enjoyed this article, you might enjoy the following too:

1. If you look to me, I look to you : A Christian's life-changing experience

2. Anna Hazare and Sathya Sai

3. Corruption - Nature of Goodness and Goodness of Nature

4. The story of a student who achieved talent by loving God. 

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

Also, use the Tweet and FB buttons below here liberally to share with your friends and family! Thank you)