God seeks a devotee as intensely as the devotee seeks God - a dentist's story

The chances of Sindhuja* (name changed to preserve anonymity as wished by the devotee) coming in contact with the Avatar of the Age, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, were very remote. Of course, her paternal grandparents had made a visit to the holy hamlet of Puttaparthi in the 1960s. But that was about it. Her father was just about 5 years old then. So, he had no recollection of Swami. Her mother came from a family of devout Shirdi Baba followers. She found the concept of Sathya Sai being Shirdi Sai as weird. She couldn’t imagine how her Fakir Guru was this afro-haired Swami. In fact, she openly rebelled against the thought and had only negative feelings for Swami. It was in these circumstances that Sindhuja was born in 1978.

Call it fate or destiny, her mother’s elder sister had got married into a family of Sai devotees. The atmosphere at home and a few experiences had made the elder aunt accept Sathya Sai as her Guru. This irritated the younger sister (Sindhuja's mother) whenever she had to visit her elder sister’s home. And she visited often for two reasons:

1. She was her elder sister.
2. Her work as a sitting judge in the district court made such travel inevitable.

Thus, Swami seemed to have made a forceful entry into the mother’s life and, indirectly, into Sindhuja’s life as well.

The inexplicable craze

It was the time when Sindhuja was about 8 years old. Her mother was at court, adjudicating a case when she felt an irrepressible urge. She felt that she had to go to Puttaparthi. It was an inner call and an annoyingly persistent one at that! She actually adjourned the court, got up from her seat, applied for a leave of few days and returned home to pack for the travel! To this day, she has no idea why she did what she did but she soon landed in the abode of Supreme Peace. The plan was to spend a day at Prasanthi Nilayam and return to her native town in Karnataka. The plan got extended and it resulted in her staying for a week. The judge returned as a changed woman.

“You have come to believe in the divinity of Swami!”, her sister exclaimed.

“Guilty as charged”, she conceded.

After that, the mother became a regular at Prasanthi Nilayam and so did Sindhuja. For Sindhuja, accepting Swami as God was as natural as accepting Ganesha, Krishna, Shiva or Rama as God. However, this was a living God and Sindhuja seemed to develop an inexplicable craze for Him. He definitely was her first love. In 1994, the budding teenager got the opportunity to spend a dozen days at Prasanthi Nilayam, doing Seva.

Sindhuja had a unique dream darshan where she saw Swami seated in a
golf buggy. The year was 1994!

The peace and joy she experienced during those days was out of the world. She decided that she wanted to serve Swami all her life. Nothing else was as important.

She had an interesting dream in which she saw herself running into Sai Kulwant hall for darshan. When the volunteer tried to stop her, she told her that she was a staff member! She was allowed into the hall. Surprisingly, instead of walking in for darshan, Swami arrived in a vehicle, a golf buggy to be precise, sitting in the back seat. Sindhuja enjoyed the unique darshan. She woke up with an intense desire to become a ‘staff member’ at Prasanthi Nilayam. She wanted to serve Swami. It was around this time that her mother also imparted to her the importance of serving others.

“The noblest thing one can do is Seva”, she told her, “and service is the easiest way into Swami’s heart.”

That would be a life-defining advice for Sindhuja because every decision she made after that seemed to be in alignment with that message.

Delhi-Simla Memories- Part 1 - Hello Delhi

An excitement build-up

The aerial 'chariot' booked to serve as the Lord's carrier to Delhi. Here, the aircraft is seen parked in the Puttaparthi
airport with the Super Specialities Hospital seen in the background. 

Travelling with Bhagawan Baba to visit a place is an experience that can never be captured adequately in words. Yet, time and again, that very effort is made by those who are blessed to have accompanied Him during various visits. This serial too is such an attempt where I try to relive and share the beautiful memories gathered during Swami’s visit to Delhi and Simla in the summer of 2010.

Spending days in the direct physical presence of Bhagawan is like seeing a multi-faceted diamond. The observer sees His divine sparkle based on his/her own perspective. Now, that is the problem with trying to describe the days spent in the divine presence - at best it can capture only one perspective and a few facets of the Divine Diamond. But then, I feel that it would be a grave injustice to hold back describing those few facets out of fear of not being comprehensive and all-encompassing. So, with humility and love, I shall proceed with this magical travelogue. I have already written in great detail about the dramatic manner in which I got to know that I was selected for the Delhi-Simla visit.

I had only a couple of days to prepare for the trip with Swami. The excitement of being selected after such intense pining was unbearable. I wasn’t able to eat or sleep properly. I called my parents and told them about the complete change of plans. Well, the change was not so ‘complete’ because I told them to fly to Delhi as planned. Just that, instead of going to the Kumbh Mela, they would stay on at Delhi itself.   I called my sister and many others to obtain small releases of these excitement bouts! Swami Himself added to the excitement on the day preceding takeoff, the 8th of April 2010, during the darshan session in the mandir. After the bhajans got over and Arati had been taken, Swami continued to sit on the dais. He then said,

“Delhi boys.”

Slowly, from all directions, all the boys selected came forward and sat on the steps facing Him. Swami instructed that everyone should be ready, have breakfast and head to the airport. He also gave specific instructions to a few members. Looking at me, He said something very softly. Though I moved up to Him, I could not make out what He was saying. So, I just knelt in front of Him, smiling. Swami also smiled and agreed to my request of padanamaskar. I bent over the railings and gently kissed His feet. I must have looked like a giraffe bending over a fence to drink water but I didn’t care. Who cares how one looks when one is getting the opportunity to kiss those redeeming feet - the feet that promise to take one across the ocean of life (Dusthara Bhava Sagara Tharanam) as Swami Himself puts it?

The road was lined  with people who had come to wave goodbye to Swami. On the top right of the photograph
is the runway of the Puttaparthi airport. 

Swami’s magic works even before people meet Him

The 9th of April dawned very early for me. I was up even before the sun had thoughts of rising because I had hardly slept at night. Such was the excitement that it almost seemed like a whole day before it became 9:45 am when we were supposed to transfer our entire luggage near the Poornachandra auditorium! From where they would be picked and transported to the aircraft by a trailer tractor. By 11:45 am we too assembled at the airport, having finished a late breakfast. The yellow hospital bus ferried us to the airport where the preliminary checks and check-ins were done. Since the airport is not used regularly, special personnel had arrived to do these security duties. Thus, it took a little longer than at normal airports. It was almost 1:40 pm when all of us were in the aircraft, waiting for Swami’s arrival.

Take one step towards me and I shall take ten towards you

Two lads and their tears

It was late in the day and the sun was setting over the horizon in the city of Calcutta (now Kolkata), India. Two lads stood in a temple dedicated to the Goddess Kali, praying to the divine mother. Their eyes were filled with tears and hearts with aspirations. They were hoping to convey to the Mother what they wanted through the language of the eyes. But both of them were experiencing something very strange. In the presence of the Mother, though the tears continued to stream down the cheeks, their tongues did not seem to gather sufficient energy to seek what they actually desired. Instead, the tongues seemed to pray for something which was totally unexpected, but something that their heart truly wanted. The two boys indicated here belonged to two different eras separated by more than 100 years. And yet, so similar was their situation that a single paragraph could be written about their plight and duplicated to describe the other!

The first lad was the 21-year old Naren who later grew into the world-famous Swami Vivekananda. His father had suffered a sudden demise in 1884 and the burden of staving off the family bankruptcy by repaying the dozens of creditors had fallen on Naren’s shoulders. Unable to bear the burden and unable to find a good paying job, he approached his new-found guru, Ramakrishna Paramahamsa.

“Master, Mother always listens to you. Why don’t you ask her to provide me and my family with sufficient financial resources to live a happy life?”

“My child! You suffer from the false idea that I am close to the Mother and you are not. Why don’t you yourself go to her and seek what you want?”

It was this goading that had resulted in Naren standing in front of the Mother. But as he stood before Her, he felt the warm trickle on his cheeks turn from tears of sorrow and lack into tears of gratitude. Without his knowledge, his tongue sought,

“Mother! Grant me discrimination... grant me devotion... grant me renunciation...”

He walked out of the temple and his Master reprimanded him for not seeking from the Mother what he immediately needed. He sent Naren back into the temple reminding him to remain focused on his wants. However, the lad was unable to do anything different even the second time. The drama repeated for a third time too when Naren realized that the Mother’s supreme love for him had made him seek what he truly needed.

(Here is a video of the beautiful dramatization of that episode between Naren and Mother Kali by the students of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning.)

The second lad was standing before Mother Kali but not in the Dakshineshwar temple. The year too was totally different, this one being 2000. However, Saptarshi Chatterjee’s tears too were as hot and sorrowful as Naren’s when he entered the temple. He too had lost his father’s support, in a different manner though. Seeing his below average marks in the Grade 12 exams, his father had called him and told him,

“See Sapto, the way you have been faring in high school is very depressing. If things go on in this way, you will not get admission into any decently good college even! I have no money to get you an admission by paying hefty donations to these educational institutions which have become businesses today. It is good that you try to find a job and get employed next year.”

The father’s words had bred regret and struck terror in the 17-year old’s heart. With God as the last resort, he had walked into the temple of Mother Kali in the evening after school. Swami Vivekananda was Sapto’s hero and he knew in his heart that he should not ask the Mother for anything worldly. Yet, so heavy was his heart that, unlike Naren, he poured out to the Mother,

“Mother, I am your child forever. Keep me safe and happy always by keeping me close to your bosom. But also ensure that I get higher education in a good Institute.”

And he cried and cried till his tears dried.

That was more or less Sapto’s schedule almost every day.

An Institute education and much more

Naren’s story of his growth into Swami Vivekananda is well documented. Saptarshi’s journey is bound to be interesting and inspiring for the modern youth who find it hard to emulate Swami Vivekananda though they wish to do so!

Unknown to anyone, Saptarshi had something in his life that Naren never had - a girlfriend! In the teenage years, he had experienced love at first sight. So powerful was the effect that he did not know whether she was an attraction or a distraction. Nevertheless, he felt that there was atleast a great traction in their relationship. In fact, it was she who seemed to bring the solution to his problem. She informed him about a very good Institute, the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning (SSSIHL), which promised great academic adventures and degrees without charging even a single penny as fees! Sapto was instantly interested and, seeking an application, he applied to this University in Puttaparthi, Andhra Pradesh.

In Hindi, there is a popular saying which goes thus,

“Dane dane par khanewale ka naam likha hain.” (Every grain of food has inscribed on it, the name of the person who will eat it.) The saying intends to heighten the importance of destiny in one’s life. Sapto found out that, apparently, every seat in the SSSIHL also had on it the name of the person who will get it! There was no other way to explain the miraculous sequence of events that led him to get through the entrance examinations, group discussions and the interview to actually procure a seat in the prestigious B.Com(hons) course at the Brindavan campus of the Institute. He called up his dear friend back at Calcutta to convey the good news to her. She also rejoiced. He wished he could go back home to give her a hug but the joining date did not permit a return journey back home.

Saptarshi performing a mimicry for his Swami in Kodaikanal

Sapto did not realize that he had won an admission into an Institute of HIGHER learning. However, as days turned into weeks and weeks into months, Sapto came under the divine umbrella of the little orange robed figure, the Chancellor the the University, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. Each little interaction with Him, his Swami, seemed to take him a step closer towards his unconscious yet ultimate goal of ‘Higher’ learning. Like hundreds of students before him, Sapto too wanted to become a ‘form boy’, the hostel lingo for a student who got the privilege of regular interactions with the Master. In the meanwhile, he also experienced the blossoming of his hitherto unknown talents of mimicry, mono-acting and dramatics.

Turning point

Sapto had not forgotten his love in Calcutta. She too sought admission in Swami’s womens’ college at Anantapur. The two hearts seemed to have come closer. However, Sapto was still undecided on whether she was an attraction or a distraction. He took the safe route of directing all his love and feelings towards his God, his Swami. In fact, he developed an irrepressible urge to sing a Bengali Rabindra Sangeet for Swami.

It was the year first week of October in the year 2004 and Sapto, having graduated with honours in the B.Com course, had enrolled for the MBA programme at Puttaparthi. During one darshan session (when Swami moved around the entire Sai Kulwant hall, blessing devotees and interacting with them), he gave Swami a letter expressing his desire to sing a Rabindra Sangeet for Him. Swami accepted the letter. Swami looked into his eyes and asked him,

“Do you want to sing it only to me?”

It was a song of love set in a melodious tune. Sapto had no second thoughts as he nodded that he indeed wanted to sing it out only for Him. Swami smiled and called him in for an interview. Sapto was pleasantly shocked! He could not imagine that the Lord was as eager to hear him as he was to sing for him. This was the first time in four years that he was actually entering the hallowed precincts of the interview room.

Seeing Swami from so close, Sapto had no words to say. He just sat in front of Him, dumbstruck. Very causally, Swami told him something that completely overwhelmed him,

“I have seen you come to me every evening and praying for good education. Your longing for me has impressed me. That is why I gave you this chance in my institution.”

Sapto’s mind was in a tizzy. What did Swami mean by that? He got to know Swami only in the year 2000 and he had done nothing like what He had said since then.

“Swami, I got to know you only when I joined here. Before that, I did not know you”, Sapto said before adding, “even in photographs!”

“Who do you think you have been praying to near your house? You think that she is only an idol? Her heart melted for you! She told me to take pity on you and it was on her request that I took you in!”

Now Sapto was reeling. How on earth did Swami know something that he had not shared with anyone else? Even as his head was spinning, he got a scary thought - this Swami knew everything about him. Getting on his knees, in a shaky voice, he said,

“Swami, I have committed many sins in the past...”

“Past is past! Forget the past. All your sins have been washed the minute you stepped into Parthi.”

Sapto was feeling that he was in some ethereal dream. Everything was happening so beautifully. Swami continued,

“I know that the girl you love is in Anantapur. But listen to me. Her family will not be suitable and amenable to you. When the right time comes, I shall give you a good girl, a girl who loves God. Remember, don’t run for sex! Run for Sai.”

The mind was blown to pieces and Sapto felt completely blank. He did not feel the need to say anything. Swami smiled and said,

“You want to sing something right?”

Sapto was unable to answer even that question. He was absolutely tongue-tied and washed away in the floods of Swami’s omnipresence and love. Swami smiled again. He took his right hand in His left hand and placed it on His chest. He then placed His right hand on Sapto’s chest.

“Sing now. It is heart to heart and you will get the tunes.”

Such was the surge of inexplicable bliss that Sapto’s heart began to serenade on its own! And to his great joy, Swami began to sing along! God and devotee, Master and disciple became one in that song of love. The words flowed effortlessly from both lips till the final line in the song, “Tomaro Madhuro Preme” (Your sweet love). Swami then said,

“See, how sweet My love is?”

A personal photograph overlooking the lake in Kodaikanal. 

Swami’s Vivekananda

The interview ended but not Sapto’s divine romance. He had goosebumps when Swami selected him as a principal actor for the upcoming Convocation drama on the 22nd of November, 2004. What was to be his role? Of Swami Vivekananda!!

Sapto (in turban) as Swami Vivekananda offers
a card to Swami before the Convocation drama.

The story of how the drama developed is another beautiful chapter in Saptos’ life but the fact remains that when he had to speak forcefully as the fiery monk seeking only divinity, Sapto could do it with great ease and natural flair. His pining for Swami and Swami’s reinforcing grace had indeed made a Vivekananda out of Saptarshi - a lad who was enjoying Ananda (bliss) because he had been conferred Viveka (wisdom)!

As he completed his narrative, Sapto told me,

“Aravind from that day till today I have received that Madhura Prema (sweet, divine Love) in various ways. My heart melts remembering that moment of my life as I write it to you. Whatever I have in life; am in life is because of Swami and Swami alone. Apart from pining for him (in some other form that too), I don’t know what else I have done. But what He has done and is doing, I can never repay even in a million lifetimes. I have a good family, a lovely job and everything is so smooth and fine. Even when things seem to go wrong, I know that it is just a part of His Masterplan! No complaints at all... no questions... no doubts. Just enjoying every moment that has been GIFTED!”

His narrative taught me the importance of always pining for the Lord. It also brought to my mind the statement Swami had made about the youth in modern times. That statement was made during the famous and historic discourse in 1976, in Ooty, when Swami materialized a medallion with a map of India on it.

I shall prepare individuals capable of spreading the Bharatiya culture and spirituality to the whole world. In the case of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, he had to use only one or two persons (for the fulfilment of Ramakrishna’s mission), Vivekananada and Brahmananda, who were sannyasis (renunciants). You don’t need to become sannyasis. In this particular task of Mine, I am going to use you young people in a large measure, as you are, putting you on the right path. I will use you as My instruments for doing all that is intended to be done.

Ah Swami! How loving you are! You seek nothing from us and yet promise to achieve everything through us. The modern world will surely see many Swami Vivekanandas for anyone who calls “Swami” with love and faith, you make a “Vivekananda” out of him/her.

If you enjoyed this, you may also like the following:

1. Pining for God is more important than experiences with God - a lesson from my Master

2. The final namaskar - the ultimate message of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.

3. Why visit Prasanthi Nilayam (or any pilgrimage spot) when God is everywhere? - A message from Sri Sathya Sai

4. God's pining for a devotee.

For all readers:

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