Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba has been extremely kind and loving in giving me the chance of being a student in His Institute (and hopefully for life too). I would like to share personal experiences with Swami and thoughts that He has inspired via many episodes through this blog.
Having
refused to give me the vibhuti packet, Swami moved ahead during the
darshan. when I say ‘moved ahead’ here, I am talking not about meters or feet
but of a few inches. To the boy sitting immediately to my right, Swami offered
a vibhuti packet. And in a sweet, childlike manner, turned around to see
my reaction. Was this His test to see how I respond to the contrast between His
strong refusal to me and His gracious benediction on the neighbour? I just had
a smile on my face.
The vibhuti packets found their way into my neighbours' hands...
(I must confess here that my response was not because of my
‘nobility’. The prayer for vibhuti had been made at the spur of the
moment when I saw the packets in His hand. It was not something that I had
sought consciously and built an expectation for. So, I was able to simply smile
it off.)
But Swami did not stop. He went ahead and gave the second packet to my
second neighbour and once again, from the corner of His eye looked at me. Now,
my eyes grew larger in amusement. Then, moving to the third neighbour, Swami
gave away the third and final packet too. Before He could turn and check
itself, I checked myself from laughing out loud.
What Swami did was so cute and childlike that I was beaming
broadly in my face and laughing aloud in my heart.
As I look back at this little incident, a very poignant message strikes
me. It is not wrong to desire. Desires arise spontaneously and they flow
through our being like water through a pipe. The secret is to allow the free
flow and not ‘hold on’ to any desire via expectations. Expectations clog the
flow and lead to a buildup of pressure - pressure that results in stress,
frustration and anger. Allowing the flow without expectations results in smiles
and laughter - even when God says ‘No’.
S.V.Satheesh with his dear harmonium during a programme in Brindavan, Bengaluru.
A long cherished dream gets fulfilled
In the summer of 2002, S.V.Satheesh sat in the tiny room with extreme exhaustion. It was nearly 3 am and the whole night had been one of great effort for him. For almost a week now, he had been recording what could possibly become his first ever musical album. And today, he had just completed recording the last piece. Though he was feeling fatigued, he was also feeling fulfilled! This was a long-cherished dream come true - a dream that had formed in his student days at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning.
Satheesh was ‘just another’ student who got enrolled for BSc in the college at Prasanthi Nilayam in 1992. His bonding with his Swami was almost instantaneous and he decided that he wanted to occupy a special place in His heart - just as He had occupied a special place in his! When he was wondering how should go about achieving his desire, Swami’s statement in several discourses struck him - “God is a lover of music. Lord Narayana told sage Narada that wherever a devotee sings his glory, He will install Himself there.”
And so, with a prayer to play for Him, Satheesh started learning the harmonium, practicing for almost 3-4 hours every day. He had no idea how he would get his first chance to play for Swami, but he just persevered and practiced rigorously. It was the beginning of a life-long saga.
Today, Satheesh has almost mastered several musical instruments - the harmonium, the accordion, the saxophone, the tabla, the mridangam, the violin and the santoor! By virtue of his ability to play the electronic keyboard, he can surely claim to be able to play another hundred instruments at least - he just has to press the right buttons! It was either the harmonium, accordion or keyboard that he had played throughout his student-life at the Institute. That is why, today he was feeling fulfilled - because he had just completed a music album, playing the Indian santoor!
Satheesh felt an immense surge of gratitude towards his Swami. And in that flow of gratitude, he recollected how he had got his first ever chance to play the harmonium in Swami’s presence.
The wait and the big break
There is a magical thing about diligence that even skill and talent cannot match - longevity. One’s skills and talents may fade away one day but the results of hard work are always here to stay. Satheesh’s persistent practice ensured that he was soon playing the harmonium during the bhajan sessions in the hostel and the college. However, he was constantly aiming for that big break - to play in Swami’s physical presence. But then, there were stalwart harmonium players already - Sailesh sir, Arunesh and Anand Punjabi to name a few. How was he to get his chance? Satheesh waited patiently and worked diligently with faith. After all, faith is believing in what one cannot see which ultimately leads one to see what one believes in!
It was the January of 1993 and the practice for the drama, Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, was in full swing. This was the drama that had been presented in Swami’s presence during the previous year’s convocation (22nd November 1992) and Bhagawan wanted the drama to be re-enacted for a Cardiology conference being held in the SSSIHMS in January. S.Ravikumar was playing the lead role in that drama. Well, his experiences with Swami are beautiful and touching and they have been detailed in other blogs. The point is that the drama was almost a musical and thus involved the entire music group. And since the practice sessions (which Swami attended) were in the Institute auditorium, the music group would also be assembled there everyday. This was essential because in the 1990s, there was nothing like background recording and all the dramas in the divine presence went on with live dialogues and live singing!
The story of the three cotton seeds, Andi, Bambi and Candi.
Happy-go-lucky Andi
The spring breeze blew across the lush green trees. The flowers were at their blooming best and the trees had donned their finest leaves. Birds and bees seemed to be everywhere, filling the air with their chirps and buzzing. The sun shone resplendently, spreading its warmth and light, filtering them through the canopy of the foliage. Sweet scents pervaded the atmosphere which had been cleared and cleaned by the recent rains. It was in these happy circumstances that a little cotton seed floated about gaily in the breeze.
“Hum Ho, Hum Ho
Here I come and there I go,
Flying about is Andi’s need,
I am a happy cotton seed!”
As he sang the shrill notes, Andi danced along, unfurling his white fibers. The season had brought a ‘spring’ in his step and sunshine to his countenance. He was always light and also took himself lightly. Today, he sought a wonderful resting place - a spot where he could rest and grow into a magnificent cotton plant that his destiny beckoned him towards. He couldn’t help but whistle in joy because he was sure that such wonderful environs and such a beautiful day were hastening him towards his destiny. That was when he met Bambi. It was a rough and gruff voice.
“Dum Bo, Dum Bo
However I try, there is no place to go,
In Bambi’s thought, word and deed,
I am a hopeless cotton seed.”
The discordant notes and tones of Bambi’s song struck Andi hard. Today, of all days, was not one that deserved such a song! He twisted and turned around and almost came face to face with Bambi. Bambi hardly noticed him and went on, along his way. Andi saw that Bambi had marvellous fibers! They were long and strong and they flapped with such ethereal grace. Andi was spellbound at such handsomeness.
“This is what they call the perfect seed”, he thought, “having it all and lacking nothing.”
But why the discordant notes then?
“Excuse me sir”, he called out as he used the wind to propel himself towards Bambi. Bambi paused to look in the direction of the sound.
“You called me?”
“Yes sir...”
“Call me Bambi...”
“And I am Andi. What a pleasure to meet you...”
“Is it? I am not so sure I would have been pleased to meet myself. Anyway, what is it that I can do for you...”
“You could stop singing for starters”, chuckled Andi, “and then join me for a duet in a song that I shall choose. Your baritone voice will add greater joy to the song!”
“You seem to be a pretty frivolous seed Andi. I am at that point in my life where I have to make some important decisions and you are concerned about singing a song? I am sorry, I have to hurry on.”
The breeze brought the soulful notes of a sorrowful song to their ears.
“Glum Mo Glum Mo,
The world is really cruel so,
A cotton Candi seed I may be,
But in my choices I am never free.”
The sound was followed by a the most beautiful and graceful cotton seed that Andi and Bambi had ever seen in their floating lives. Candi’s hairs were so fine and long. They appeared delicate though in reality they were ultra strong. To top it all, they seemed to have different hues and shades of white. Even Bambi wondered as to what could cause so much sorrow to a seed that had been endowed with everything! It was Andi that broke Candi’s dirge.
“Hello Candi! May life be forever sweet for you.”
Candi was the most beautiful cotton seed that Andi or Bambi had ever seen...
“Who is that?” Candi turned to see Andi and Bambi.
“It’s Mr. Happy Cottonseed!”, said Bambi, “ floating about happily without any cares in the world. Andi is a perfect example of ignorance being bliss...”
That was quite a harsh introduction but Andi did not mind.
“If knowledge and wisdom make one feel as hopeless or morose as you both, I’ll take ignorance any day”, Andi smiled as he patted Candi on his back. He then turned to Bambi and asked,
“What is it that is making you feel so and speak so when the present moment is so full of opportunities, inspiration and bliss?”
Bambi’s story
“Now that you ask, I shall tell you something which I am sure you are not aware of. But please do not criticize me of demolishing your sense of peace and joy.”
“They is no joy and peace which can be demolished by the words of anyone! Joy and peace is the nature of my soul and anything you do cannot change that. So my dear Bambi, please proceed with what you have to tell us.”
That was all the invitation Bambi needed. Candi’s curiosity had made him also stop by the two other cotton seeds. That was all the audience that Bambi needed. He began his narrative:
“I too was a happy seed like you Andi, growing my fibers on my mother’s person, getting ready for life ahead. I nursed great ambitions. I wanted to grow into the best cotton plant ever - a plant which would produce cotton to drape the being of the most powerful in the world. The inspiration I derived from my desire made me a positively charged, enthusiastic seed. However, that was the joy of being ignorant. Seeing my unbridled enthusiasm, my mother, out of concern, made me aware of history - the history of my brother seeds, the other cotton seeds on her.
She told me that the ‘power goal’ I entertained was a genetic desire put within me. She had seen hundreds, nay thousands of seeds start off like me and end up disappointed. It is not as if they did not achieve what they desired. It is just that whatever they did, it was hopelessness in the end. There are examples galore and I shall stick to only one now. One brother-seed, as per his desire, worked his way into one of the world’s finest cotton mills. He became part of a grand suit that was made for the President of the Country! Soon, he walked the corridors of power. Even as he celebrated his elevation to his dreams, he was in for a shock. Bad health forced the President to resign. A few weeks after that, he died! My brother-seed is now a moth-eaten, neglected suit, buried deep in an abandoned wardrobe. Ah! who could have foreseen that? What did my brother do wrong? Life is just so uncertain and cruel. It crushes all hope with its uncertainties. Now you will appreciate the song I was singing...”
Andi now burst into a Sanskrit song (from the Bhaja Govindam),
“Maa Kuru Dhana Jana Youvana Garvam
Harathi Nimeshaath Kalaah Sarvam
Maayamayam Idam Akhilam Hithwa
Brahms Padam Twam Pravisha Viditwa.”
( Dont’ be proud as peacock of all the millions that you have,
And of all those who are with you day in and day out,
And of the strength of youth in you.
Time, the thief is doing its job of stealing them by and by,
All these that exist today will not remain tomorrow.)
M.S.Subbulakshmi's immortal rendering of the Bhaja Govindam.
Candi’s story
“You make fun of Bambi because you have no experience Andi. My mood and my song are easily explained by a similar story that I was told by my mother-plant. As I spent my teenage days on her, I wished to be the most colourful cloth ever. What is life about if not for the magic of colour? Just like Bambi, I too got to know that this desire was my genetic predisposition and my brother-seeds before me had the same intensity and propensity as me. Again, there are examples galore but I am sure just one is enough to demotivate you!
One of my brother-seeds with his long and dainty fibers was picked for the biggest cotton plant in the world - a plant that manufactured clothes of all imaginable colours. And imagine my brother’s joy when he was integrated into a cloth bearing a hundred colours. There was none brighter than him and his pride gave him added luster. Alas! He had no idea of what was about to happen to him. He was picked to be made into a shirt for a clown in the circus. His life too became like that of the clown - colourful and bright as far as others were concerned but monotonous and lonely as far as he was concerned! As a dirt-ridden piece of cloth, he now wishes to die as soon as possible and take birth as a new cotton seed. But even with that, he knows that he has no freedom of choice because there is no guarantee that even the next birth will give him what he actually desires.”
This time, Andi broke into another song,
“Punarapi Jananam Punarapi Maranam
Punarapi Janani Jathare Shayanam
Iha Samsare Bahu Dusthaare
Krupaya Paare Pahi Muraare.”
(Again and again one is born; And again and again one dies;
And again and again one sleeps in the mother’s womb,
Help me to cross this limitless sea of life,
Which is uncrossable, my Lord)
Andi’s story
“This Andi is a hopeless romantic”, muttered Bambi under his breath to Candi.
“Of course! Added to that he seems to be living in some utopian dream world.”
Andi only smiled.
“My dear Bambi and Candi. I totally understand the cause for your moods and outlook of life. You are right in all that you thought. However, there are some things that I should clear with you. And the first among those is the fact that my bliss is not born out of ignorance. It has taken birth from the wisdom that my mother ‘seed’ed in me.
I come from a middle ‘class’ family of cotton seeds. I and my brother-seeds do not have great genetic predispositions. All our ancestors have led average lives as forgettable pieces of cloths. However, mother never let that come into our dreams. She told us to aspire for the best and the best, she said, is God. She told each one of us to pray and pine to be a cloth for God. For me too, there are examples galore but let me just pick one to motivate you.
My brother-seed sought God and he achieved everything in life!”
“Did he become an apparel to an heir apparent of the ruler?” asked Bambi.
“No, he was made into a small piece of cloth, 2 feet by 2 feet in size.”
“Ah! That is disappointing. Did he atleast have a million colours on him?” It was Candi this time.
“My sweet Candi! You are rushing to conclusions. But no! He was just white all over.”
“How then can you say that he achieved everything in life. This is a case of very low expectations”, they both chorused.
Seeing the bewildered looks on their faces, Andi smiled. He put his short hairs enveloping them in an embrace and continued the story,
"My brother-seed was blessed by Baba in the darshan lines."
“You see, my brother seed became a handkerchief in the hands of another middle-class family man. But this man travelled one day to a place called Whitefield in Bangalore where God had descended on earth! My brother-seed rejoiced as this Lord, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, accepted the handkerchief and wiped His vibhuti-smeared hands to it. Since then, he has never been in any pocket for he occupies a special place in the altar. The man passed away in a few years but his children too revere the handkerchief and worship it in the altar. My brother-seed is happy since for he is right next to God. His life’s desire is fulfilled.
But it does not stop with that. Though he did not seek it, he sits in the seat of greatest power because even the most mighty among men bow before him. And his life is colourful too because, you see, white is an amalgam of all the colours in the world!”
You get everything and can see the Lord in your heart.)
Seek that, seeking which you never have to seek again
As Bambi and Candi listened with amazement and wonder, Andi continued,
“So you see my dear friends, it is wrong to have only a ‘lofty’ goal in life when we are meant to choose the ‘loftiest’ goal! Let us not be satisfied with anything else other than the highest. Let us seek that one thing, seeking which we will never have to seek again! And let us not get fooled into seeking things which are mere trinkets compared to the Lord. For, when we seek the Lord, everything else automatically comes along, unasked! Whatever our 'genetics' may be, this disposition to seek the ultimate is available to all that wish to avail it.
We should be careful to never let down our aims. Let us not go and seek coffee-powder from a Kalpavriskha! I am sure that the stories of hundreds of my brother-seeds are all so beautiful. And so, if I too have such a loftiest desire, I am sure to achieve what I seek. That is my destiny and even the universe will conspire to help me achieve that! Isn't that reason enough to sing along merrily.”
Hum Ho, Hum Ho
It was Bambi who began the song as Andi and Candi joined in.
“Hum Ho, Hum Ho
Here we come and there we go,
We have God to fulfill all our needs,
We are a bunch of happy cotton seeds!”
Even if you have to be a handkerchief, just ensure that you belong to the Lord!
And that is the story of the Andi, Bambi and Candi, the ABC of cotton seeds. It is a story that teaches us that if we ‘Always Be Careful’ to choose God and God alone, we will ‘Always Be Cheerful’ too!
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Having read those, welcome to the concluding part of that memorable interview.
A personal interview
From this point on, the interview took a very personal flavour in the sense that many boys asked Swami different things that were bothering them. Leaving out all the questions that are irrelevant here because of their very ‘personal’ nature, I shall present the ones that hold great relevance for all of us today and for all times to come as well.
Swami looked at Abhijeet and asked him,
“Boy, what is your name?”
Abhijit was simply overawed and overwhelmed that Swami spoke to him. No words seemed to be dropping out of his mouth! Somehow, he gathered his wits and replied,
“Er... Abhijeet...Sir... Abhijit Swami!”
Even as he said that, he took off the Muslim skull cap.
All of us smiled at how he had addressed Swami as if He was some military general and acted in that way too!
“Put back the cap on your head...put it on.” Swami said quite sternly. Abhijit wore the cap back on his head. Swami then asked him,
“What is the meaning of Abhijeet?”
“I don’t know Swami.”
I knelt up and Swami looked at me. “Swami, Abhi stands for Abhimaanam (body-attachment or ego). Jit is to win over. A person who has won over body attachment is Abhijit.”
As I completed saying this, Swami looked at me. He bore deep into my eyes and I was lost in His eyes. A smile played on HIs lips. I wished that moment could be frozen for eternity. The flow of love was so palpable that I placed my hands on His knees very gently. Then, I began to massage His calves and feet. He did not protest. I was so happy.
Jahpanah Akbar hopefully passed on to his son what hisfather had told him!
Akbar-Humayun conversation
Then, Swami looked at Karthik who was dressed as an emperor and pointing to the kingly robe he was wearing, asked,
“Where did you get that from?”
“Swami, this is from our costumes department...” said the warden.
“Oh! You have all these in your costumes department?”
“Yes Swami! This is Akbar’s robe.” (That robe had been stitched specially for the role of Akbar in a drama staged for the Convocation 3 years before).
Swami then made some revelations,
“Akbar was a great king. His father once wrote a letter to him.”
“Humayun Swami?” I asked.
“Yes. He wrote to him telling him that it was indeed a great blessing and privilege that he had become the ruler of India. India is a land of Sheelam. Sheelam means character. To rule this SheelaBhoomi (land of character), you are indeed blessed.”
Even as Swami made this statement, His eyes became glassy, as if He was reliving something within.
Prayer and Love
Ramakrishnan asked a question that seemed very simple on the face of it. However, today when I think of it, it was a very pertinent question and holds great relevance in life. It was a question on prayer. Ramakrishnan asked,
“Swami, how should one pray?”
There was silence for a few moments. Swami then said,
“Whenever you pray, you must always do so with the feeling of ‘You and I are one’.”
Thinking about it, if prayer is done that way, none of us will ever ask for anything, complain about anything or even think about anything. Isn’t it?
Abhishek asked now,
“Swami what is pure love?”
“Pure love is possible only with God. It is possible only towards God.”
This statement immediately triggered my thoughts. I ventured to ask Him a question that had bothered me for a very long time.
“Swami, when I love anyone...”
Immediately He turned to me and was fully focused on me. encouraged, I continued,
“When I love anyone, I do good to them. But is it not basic goodness that they too do the same to me?”
“That is not love at all. That is selfishness.”
I had to agree. “Yes Swami... that is expectation.”
Suddenly, Swami began to cough. The cough was quite violent. A few boys offered HIm a glass of water and He declined it. Santosh told Swami,
“Swami, please take care. You are coughing a lot.”
“Ah! It is because of these regular visits to the indoor stadium. There is a lot of dust there.”
(The Sri Sathya Sai International Centre for Sports is a marvel which has hosted international basketball, volleyball and shuttle badminton matches. The surfaces there have been approved by the ITF, IBF, ITTF and IHF. Any visitor to Puttaparthi must make a visit to this stadium to understand what a magical monument it is.)
Swami continued,
“The Larsen & Toubro people asked for five years to build it. Not even three months have passed and so much of it has already come up.”
All the boys began to ‘praise’ Swami,
“Swami, this is possible only for God.”
“If not for you Swami, this would never have happened.”
“Swami’s love makes the workers toil so hard day and night.”
Swami made a very important point here which any employer or business owner should note.
“What is important is not that they are doing hard work, but they are happy doing that hard work! If you give them love, they too will give love. You know how they express their love? When I go there, they spend 2 minutes having my darshan. But then, they work for an extra four minutes to make up for it.”
As Swami explained this, I was lost wondering about the great power inherent in love. Today, instead of a craze for the power of love, there seems to be a craze for the love of power! If only we could take a few lines from the pages of His-Story, we can make the world a much better place to live in.
Since the topic was about the indoor stadium, I told Swami,
“Swami, when you come to the indoor stadium, please come to our hostel also. It stands just opposite to the stadium being constructed.”
Swami’s face seemed a little disappointed. The next statement He made was a great assurance and one filled with Divine love,
“Che Che! Why do you say, ‘just nearby’ is the hostel? Will I not come if it is far? If you call, that is enough. Distance does not matter.”
Immediately all of us chorused,
“Swami, please come to the hostel.”
“In the hostel you Padutavu (sing). In the stadium you will Aadutavu (play). What is the difference where I come? All these are being built for you children. Everything belongs to you.”
Of Course! I do not agree with him smoking... but the quote is awesome! :)
I feel so touched when I think of this statement today. Really, no university in the world will have such facilities offered free to every student who wishes to use it! No skill needed, no fees needed. Only a ‘need’ needed. If the student wishes to pick up any of the sports - cricket, football, volleyball, basketball, shuttle badminton, table tennis, lawn tennis or squash - there are world class facilities that Swami has set up ONLY for the students. These facilities are not let out for any commercial events. They earn nothing for the Trust but the gratitude and joy of the students. For Swami, that is the greatest earning!
All good things come to an end
Swami looked at the little Iranian boy and asked,
“What is your name?”
“Swami, Sathya.”
“If everyone lives up to his/her name, it is enough. Living up to one’s name and keeping up one’s word are very important. If a promise is made, it should be held dearer than one’s life. Also, treat everyone equally.”
Elaborating, Swami said,
“Ornaments are of different kinds - ring, earring and bangle- depending on where it is worn. So too, though there are many sweets - laddoo, gulab jamun, mysorepak - the sugar is the same in them. All are one, be alike to everyone.”
All good things in life come to an end. That is the inevitable Truth. The corollary of that Truth is that all ‘bad’ things in life also come to an end. We just have to hold on to the Lord. Sensing that the interview was drawing to a close, many boys began to offer letters to Swami. Swami collected lovingly from everyone. He opened and read a few of them. Then, He commented,
“Dear Swami... dear brother... dear sister... All are dear. What should Swami be?”
Karthik answered, “Dearest Swami.”
“Why rest? People write anything that comes to the mind. Before writing letters boys must contemplate and dive within.When festivals come, one must understand what the ancients have said and written about them. People today, simply say and write what they wish. They should write and talk only what they have experienced.”
Karthik again told Swami,
“Swami I want to surrender totally to you...”
“Surrender... surrender! Easy words to say.”
That was a take-home lesson for all of us. Understand what you seek from God. Let prayers and words not be mere lip-service.
In conclusion, Swami said,
“Treasure and cherish all that you have received now. Keep contemplating on these moments and derive joy from them always. Be happy. Now, c’mon, sing a Hindi song.”
Treasure and cherish every moment with the Lord - Be blissful always.
Spontaneously, we began to sing the eternal classic, “Humko Tumse Pyar Kitna.” There were no accompanying instruments or clapping. Yet, it was so harmonic and wonderful. We were all in tears of joy. As the song was completed, Swami blessed all of us with His Abhayahasta. Many boys fell at His feet and took Padanamaskar.
“Now go! The bhajan singers will be coming.”
We saw the time. There were just minutes left for bhajans to start. When we prepared for a Ramadan programme, we had no idea that it would become this! But we were not complaining.
The longest and most beautiful interview of my life with my master and best-friend had just concluded.
For all readers:
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