Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba has been extremely kind and loving in giving me the chance of being a student in His Institute (and hopefully for life too). I would like to share personal experiences with Swami and thoughts that He has inspired via many episodes through this blog.
Padmanabhan driving a unique vehicle during darshan. This epitomises his life with Swami. Though he was His driver, it was always Swami in the front seat and him in the backseat.
Wedded for life
Swami had brought up the topic of Padmanabhan’s wedding in June 1994. October had already arrived but Swami had not yet given a date for the wedding. The months of grappling with uncertainty had given way to a kind of resigned serenity in Padmanabhan. He had stopped fretting and was accepting Swami’s ‘vagaries’ as they came about. That is when he made an interesting discovery. When he was amenable to Swami’s ‘vagaries’, those very same vagaries seemed to fade away!
In fact, Swami had told him with complete confirmation to hold the wedding in Kerala. Now, as his mother and brother pestered him for a date, he told them that he would inform them as soon as Swami gave one to him. Just a few days before the wedding, Swami gave him a date - the 24th of October. Padmanabhan accepted it with humility and conveyed it home. A new debate cropped up,
“Wouldn’t it be better to have the wedding on 23rd October?”
“Swami said that it should be 24th October”, Padmanabhan replied.
“23rd is advantageous on two counts. It is an auspicious day based on the Panchangam. It is also a Sunday which makes it easier for all friends and relatives to attend the wedding...”
Padmanabhan, who was totally in sync with Swami’s words, replied,
“If it is inauspicious, I am the one affected right. I have no problem with it. And if people are unable to come, I still don’t bother. What matters is that we follow what Swami says.”
His was the final word and the wedding was fixed for 24th October. Padmanabhan informed Swami that he would be leaving for Kerala as per His command. Swami called him in and blessed him. He gave him enough money to cover most of the expenses of the wedding. He also blessed him with the jewellery and Mangalsutra which he would have to gift his wife. Padmanabhan was in tears. Swami had told him that he would take care of everything, of course. But here, He was taking care of him more than a parent; more than a close friend; more than what he would himself do for him! With gratitude oozing from the heart, Padmanabhan left for Kerala.
A gentle rainfall in India is considered auspicious. What happened in Kerala on 23rd October was something drastic. Possibly it was an ‘over-auspicious’ day and the fury with which the rains lashed out was unbelievable. Everyone was thankful that the wedding had not been fixed for that day because it would have meant a severe ‘washing away’ of many well-laid plans. In
Bhagia sir seemed to be growing more and more disinterested and detached from the ‘mundane’ daily activities which he performed on auto-pilot. His whole being seemed to burn in eager expectation for the eternal Ultimate Experience alone. The summer of 1990 arrived and, as was the practice, Swami shifted from the Puttaparthi ashram of Prasanthi Nilayam to the Bangalore ashram of Brindavan. (The devotees would find it very hot and exhausting, sitting for darshan in the hot Parthi summer. To provide respite for them, Swami would shift to Bangalore which would be cooler on account of its greater geographical altitude.)
{This is actually the second part of a beautiful and message-filled story. To enjoy it in its entirety and immensity, it is recommended that the reader completes Part 1 from the link given below and then proceeds with this Part 2.
While Swami went to Brindavan in March, Bhagia sir followed in April after the academic year had concluded. There were some industrial visits and field trips in Bangalore that the MBA students had to undertake as part of the course and Bhagia sir accompanied them. It was during this summer that Swami decided to resurrect a special course that had been discontinued for more than a decade now - the Summer Course in Indian Culture and Spirituality. This course had been Swami’s initiative in the early seventies with an objective to expose students of the University to the rich cultural and spiritual heritage of Bharath. (The course continues on an annual basis to this day. It is always a memorable experience for participants, especially newly admitted students.It orients new students into Bhagawan Baba’s educational philosophy and gives them deep first hand insights into how they can directly benefit from this unique institution. This prepares them well to make the best of the rare opportunities that lie ahead of them.)
Bhagia sir has been blessed with the Ultimate Experience which shows that true happiness lies only in Union with God.
What thrilled Bhagia sir was the subject that Bhagawan Baba took up for the Summer Showers in Brindavan, 1990. It dealt entirely with the why, how and what of Self-Enquiry with Swami unravelling the mystery in stages. Swami dilated in great detail about the mind, the senses, the ego, the Gunas and the Atma. It was definitely a big boon for any aspirant seeking the Ultimate Experience in life.
(The summer course of 1990 is so monumental that it has been taken up for detailed discussion in the Radiosai series entitled Shravanam Mananam Nidhidhyasanam. Bhagia sir too was invited as a guest during one of the discussions which was first aired on 28th May 2014 - a discussion on the discourse that Bhagawan delivered on 30th May 1990. The whole series can be obtained via the Radiosai Audio Search, typing the phrase;
SHRAVANAM_MANANAM_NIDHIDHYASANAM )
Needless to say, Bhagia sir got increasingly inspired as the days passed by. The ‘kick’ came on the last day of the Summer Course. On the 3rd of June, 1990, Swami delivered a lengthy concluding discourse of the Summer Course. He concluded by saying,
“Your entire life must become one continuous meditation.” Bhagia sir’s eyes opened wide as he drank in each and every word from Swami. He internally resolved that spending anything less than 24 hours a day in spiritual pursuit would be unacceptable. Since he had not yet mastered hunger and sleep, it would be physically impossible to spend 24 hours in seeking the Ultimate Experience. But he would definitely spend as much time as possible on that.
The bhajan that Kumar had chosen to sing was full of pathos and meaning. It called out to Swami as one’s everything - mother, father, Guru, friend, sibling. It also addressed Him as the Vedas, Upanishads and the Geeta of life. It was a bhajan of complete surrender to Him. Since Kumar had completely been shattered by the tragedy that was happening meters away from where he was singing, he was almost sobbing as he sang. It had taken superhuman effort to sing that day. In fact, such was his emotional turmoil that he sang the first line of the bhajan - Sai Pita aur Mata Sai - twice. He sought some response and solace from Swami but all he had got was to see his Lord turn His face on him, looking outside the hall. Even as he sang, he prayed to Swami within,
“Swami, even in this hour of need, you are not setting aside the cold treatment! You are deserting me and going away from me. who do I turn to now? You don’t even want to hear what I want to say. Have I become so unwanted?”
(Dear reader, if you are reading directly from here, let me assure you that you have missed quite a lot of the story. Please come back to this after reading the first part which is at the link given below:
Soon, Kumar completed his bhajan and the rest of the session went on. It was almost after 5 bhajans that Swami returned after His bonus darshan round. Would there be some compassion for Kumar at least now? He recalls his feelings at that moment.
Swami walked into the bhajan hall, took his seat on the throne. He continued looking outside and enjoying the bhajans like everything was fine. After the 6th bhajan, he got up to receive Arati. Forget talking to me, He did not even glance at me. He simply received Arati and walked out of the bhajan hall, back to his residence. I was totally devastated. I considered it as my worst fate and walked out of the bhajan hall. I wanted to rush home and hoped that Amma would be alive.
Yet another shock
As Kumar exited the bhajan hall and rushed towards EA1, scores of students and teachers walked up to him and patted him on his back saying,
“Blessed you...”
“You are lucky...”
“You are Swami’s very own...”
Kumar was wondering what that all meant. Even the warden walked to him and gave him a gentle pat. Not able to comprehend what was happening, Kumar sprinted towards his house.
The story of the three cotton seeds, Andi, Bambi and Candi.
Happy-go-lucky Andi
The spring breeze blew across the lush green trees. The flowers were at their blooming best and the trees had donned their finest leaves. Birds and bees seemed to be everywhere, filling the air with their chirps and buzzing. The sun shone resplendently, spreading its warmth and light, filtering them through the canopy of the foliage. Sweet scents pervaded the atmosphere which had been cleared and cleaned by the recent rains. It was in these happy circumstances that a little cotton seed floated about gaily in the breeze.
“Hum Ho, Hum Ho
Here I come and there I go,
Flying about is Andi’s need,
I am a happy cotton seed!”
As he sang the shrill notes, Andi danced along, unfurling his white fibers. The season had brought a ‘spring’ in his step and sunshine to his countenance. He was always light and also took himself lightly. Today, he sought a wonderful resting place - a spot where he could rest and grow into a magnificent cotton plant that his destiny beckoned him towards. He couldn’t help but whistle in joy because he was sure that such wonderful environs and such a beautiful day were hastening him towards his destiny. That was when he met Bambi. It was a rough and gruff voice.
“Dum Bo, Dum Bo
However I try, there is no place to go,
In Bambi’s thought, word and deed,
I am a hopeless cotton seed.”
The discordant notes and tones of Bambi’s song struck Andi hard. Today, of all days, was not one that deserved such a song! He twisted and turned around and almost came face to face with Bambi. Bambi hardly noticed him and went on, along his way. Andi saw that Bambi had marvellous fibers! They were long and strong and they flapped with such ethereal grace. Andi was spellbound at such handsomeness.
“This is what they call the perfect seed”, he thought, “having it all and lacking nothing.”
But why the discordant notes then?
“Excuse me sir”, he called out as he used the wind to propel himself towards Bambi. Bambi paused to look in the direction of the sound.
“You called me?”
“Yes sir...”
“Call me Bambi...”
“And I am Andi. What a pleasure to meet you...”
“Is it? I am not so sure I would have been pleased to meet myself. Anyway, what is it that I can do for you...”
“You could stop singing for starters”, chuckled Andi, “and then join me for a duet in a song that I shall choose. Your baritone voice will add greater joy to the song!”
“You seem to be a pretty frivolous seed Andi. I am at that point in my life where I have to make some important decisions and you are concerned about singing a song? I am sorry, I have to hurry on.”
The breeze brought the soulful notes of a sorrowful song to their ears.
“Glum Mo Glum Mo,
The world is really cruel so,
A cotton Candi seed I may be,
But in my choices I am never free.”
The sound was followed by a the most beautiful and graceful cotton seed that Andi and Bambi had ever seen in their floating lives. Candi’s hairs were so fine and long. They appeared delicate though in reality they were ultra strong. To top it all, they seemed to have different hues and shades of white. Even Bambi wondered as to what could cause so much sorrow to a seed that had been endowed with everything! It was Andi that broke Candi’s dirge.
“Hello Candi! May life be forever sweet for you.”
Candi was the most beautiful cotton seed that Andi or Bambi had ever seen...
“Who is that?” Candi turned to see Andi and Bambi.
“It’s Mr. Happy Cottonseed!”, said Bambi, “ floating about happily without any cares in the world. Andi is a perfect example of ignorance being bliss...”
That was quite a harsh introduction but Andi did not mind.
“If knowledge and wisdom make one feel as hopeless or morose as you both, I’ll take ignorance any day”, Andi smiled as he patted Candi on his back. He then turned to Bambi and asked,
“What is it that is making you feel so and speak so when the present moment is so full of opportunities, inspiration and bliss?”
Bambi’s story
“Now that you ask, I shall tell you something which I am sure you are not aware of. But please do not criticize me of demolishing your sense of peace and joy.”
“They is no joy and peace which can be demolished by the words of anyone! Joy and peace is the nature of my soul and anything you do cannot change that. So my dear Bambi, please proceed with what you have to tell us.”
That was all the invitation Bambi needed. Candi’s curiosity had made him also stop by the two other cotton seeds. That was all the audience that Bambi needed. He began his narrative:
“I too was a happy seed like you Andi, growing my fibers on my mother’s person, getting ready for life ahead. I nursed great ambitions. I wanted to grow into the best cotton plant ever - a plant which would produce cotton to drape the being of the most powerful in the world. The inspiration I derived from my desire made me a positively charged, enthusiastic seed. However, that was the joy of being ignorant. Seeing my unbridled enthusiasm, my mother, out of concern, made me aware of history - the history of my brother seeds, the other cotton seeds on her.
She told me that the ‘power goal’ I entertained was a genetic desire put within me. She had seen hundreds, nay thousands of seeds start off like me and end up disappointed. It is not as if they did not achieve what they desired. It is just that whatever they did, it was hopelessness in the end. There are examples galore and I shall stick to only one now. One brother-seed, as per his desire, worked his way into one of the world’s finest cotton mills. He became part of a grand suit that was made for the President of the Country! Soon, he walked the corridors of power. Even as he celebrated his elevation to his dreams, he was in for a shock. Bad health forced the President to resign. A few weeks after that, he died! My brother-seed is now a moth-eaten, neglected suit, buried deep in an abandoned wardrobe. Ah! who could have foreseen that? What did my brother do wrong? Life is just so uncertain and cruel. It crushes all hope with its uncertainties. Now you will appreciate the song I was singing...”
Andi now burst into a Sanskrit song (from the Bhaja Govindam),
“Maa Kuru Dhana Jana Youvana Garvam
Harathi Nimeshaath Kalaah Sarvam
Maayamayam Idam Akhilam Hithwa
Brahms Padam Twam Pravisha Viditwa.”
( Dont’ be proud as peacock of all the millions that you have,
And of all those who are with you day in and day out,
And of the strength of youth in you.
Time, the thief is doing its job of stealing them by and by,
All these that exist today will not remain tomorrow.)
M.S.Subbulakshmi's immortal rendering of the Bhaja Govindam.
Candi’s story
“You make fun of Bambi because you have no experience Andi. My mood and my song are easily explained by a similar story that I was told by my mother-plant. As I spent my teenage days on her, I wished to be the most colourful cloth ever. What is life about if not for the magic of colour? Just like Bambi, I too got to know that this desire was my genetic predisposition and my brother-seeds before me had the same intensity and propensity as me. Again, there are examples galore but I am sure just one is enough to demotivate you!
One of my brother-seeds with his long and dainty fibers was picked for the biggest cotton plant in the world - a plant that manufactured clothes of all imaginable colours. And imagine my brother’s joy when he was integrated into a cloth bearing a hundred colours. There was none brighter than him and his pride gave him added luster. Alas! He had no idea of what was about to happen to him. He was picked to be made into a shirt for a clown in the circus. His life too became like that of the clown - colourful and bright as far as others were concerned but monotonous and lonely as far as he was concerned! As a dirt-ridden piece of cloth, he now wishes to die as soon as possible and take birth as a new cotton seed. But even with that, he knows that he has no freedom of choice because there is no guarantee that even the next birth will give him what he actually desires.”
This time, Andi broke into another song,
“Punarapi Jananam Punarapi Maranam
Punarapi Janani Jathare Shayanam
Iha Samsare Bahu Dusthaare
Krupaya Paare Pahi Muraare.”
(Again and again one is born; And again and again one dies;
And again and again one sleeps in the mother’s womb,
Help me to cross this limitless sea of life,
Which is uncrossable, my Lord)
Andi’s story
“This Andi is a hopeless romantic”, muttered Bambi under his breath to Candi.
“Of course! Added to that he seems to be living in some utopian dream world.”
Andi only smiled.
“My dear Bambi and Candi. I totally understand the cause for your moods and outlook of life. You are right in all that you thought. However, there are some things that I should clear with you. And the first among those is the fact that my bliss is not born out of ignorance. It has taken birth from the wisdom that my mother ‘seed’ed in me.
I come from a middle ‘class’ family of cotton seeds. I and my brother-seeds do not have great genetic predispositions. All our ancestors have led average lives as forgettable pieces of cloths. However, mother never let that come into our dreams. She told us to aspire for the best and the best, she said, is God. She told each one of us to pray and pine to be a cloth for God. For me too, there are examples galore but let me just pick one to motivate you.
My brother-seed sought God and he achieved everything in life!”
“Did he become an apparel to an heir apparent of the ruler?” asked Bambi.
“No, he was made into a small piece of cloth, 2 feet by 2 feet in size.”
“Ah! That is disappointing. Did he atleast have a million colours on him?” It was Candi this time.
“My sweet Candi! You are rushing to conclusions. But no! He was just white all over.”
“How then can you say that he achieved everything in life. This is a case of very low expectations”, they both chorused.
Seeing the bewildered looks on their faces, Andi smiled. He put his short hairs enveloping them in an embrace and continued the story,
"My brother-seed was blessed by Baba in the darshan lines."
“You see, my brother seed became a handkerchief in the hands of another middle-class family man. But this man travelled one day to a place called Whitefield in Bangalore where God had descended on earth! My brother-seed rejoiced as this Lord, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, accepted the handkerchief and wiped His vibhuti-smeared hands to it. Since then, he has never been in any pocket for he occupies a special place in the altar. The man passed away in a few years but his children too revere the handkerchief and worship it in the altar. My brother-seed is happy since for he is right next to God. His life’s desire is fulfilled.
But it does not stop with that. Though he did not seek it, he sits in the seat of greatest power because even the most mighty among men bow before him. And his life is colourful too because, you see, white is an amalgam of all the colours in the world!”
You get everything and can see the Lord in your heart.)
Seek that, seeking which you never have to seek again
As Bambi and Candi listened with amazement and wonder, Andi continued,
“So you see my dear friends, it is wrong to have only a ‘lofty’ goal in life when we are meant to choose the ‘loftiest’ goal! Let us not be satisfied with anything else other than the highest. Let us seek that one thing, seeking which we will never have to seek again! And let us not get fooled into seeking things which are mere trinkets compared to the Lord. For, when we seek the Lord, everything else automatically comes along, unasked! Whatever our 'genetics' may be, this disposition to seek the ultimate is available to all that wish to avail it.
We should be careful to never let down our aims. Let us not go and seek coffee-powder from a Kalpavriskha! I am sure that the stories of hundreds of my brother-seeds are all so beautiful. And so, if I too have such a loftiest desire, I am sure to achieve what I seek. That is my destiny and even the universe will conspire to help me achieve that! Isn't that reason enough to sing along merrily.”
Hum Ho, Hum Ho
It was Bambi who began the song as Andi and Candi joined in.
“Hum Ho, Hum Ho
Here we come and there we go,
We have God to fulfill all our needs,
We are a bunch of happy cotton seeds!”
Even if you have to be a handkerchief, just ensure that you belong to the Lord!
And that is the story of the Andi, Bambi and Candi, the ABC of cotton seeds. It is a story that teaches us that if we ‘Always Be Careful’ to choose God and God alone, we will ‘Always Be Cheerful’ too!
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