Sometimes things go horribly wrong before going right - a message from Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Na Bruyath Sathyam Apriyam

“Sometimes, things have to go wrong before they can go right.”

It was a lunch table discussion that we were having when my brother, Amey Deshpande, made this statement in a vehement manner. The lunch-time talk had started off with the sad state of affairs in the world today - poverty, war, growing population, global warming and so on. The conversation had then progressed into the decline of moral values and the rapid rise of selfishness and greed before meandering into the bleak future that seemed to be greeting humanity. That was when Amey had made that flow-changing and mood-uplifting statement. He continued on that line of thought,

“I mean, don’t you fall off the bicycle many times before you learn to ride it? Don’t we drown in water, gulping down lungfuls of it before we can learn to swim? So too, when things go down, there are lessons to be learnt. We have to put in efforts and learn those lessons rather than crib and cry about everything going bad.”

That made so much sense and all of us at the table nodded. The naysayers and the prophets of doom seem to delight in painting a bleak picture of the world. While they say that they are simply stating the truth, there is an important hitch which they conveniently avoid. Truth can be stated in two ways -

1. In a manner that inspires and provokes action OR

2. In a manner that depresses and makes one feel hopeless.

The prophets of doom adopt the second way though they too secretly hope that they will be able to stir and rouse people/things to change. When, at the lunch table, it appeared as though the discussion was headed towards depression and hopelessness, Amey had brought about a change in the entire line of thinking. That in itself had made all of us feel so much better. I could not help but think about my dear Master and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, who always exhorts,

“Satyam Bruyath; Priyam Bruyath; Na Bruyath Satyam Apriyam”,

This means that one should always speak the Truth in a manner which is pleasing to everybody. And if the truth is only distasteful/unpleasant, it is better to adopt silence.

Amey had done just that. He had changed the ‘truthful’ discussion in a direction that would yield results rather than just depress and make the situation look hopeless for everyone. But more than that, he followed it with the narrative of a very intimate and personal experience with Swami (as Bhagawan Baba is reverentially and affectionately called). His narrative was filled with wisdom divine and lessons galore.

The pain that was necessary to remove another pain

It must be said that Amey became a ‘form boy’ almost as soon as he joined the Primary School in Puttaparthi. For those that are not familiar with the student-lingo, a ‘form boy’ is one who seems to receive a lot of attention and grace from Swami - like Swami speaks to him almost during every darshan session, gives him interviews along with the parents, ‘knows’ him by him name and so on. The period of ‘form’ could last a few hours, days, months or years. So, while those that are not in ‘form’ try to get into ‘form’, those in ‘form’ try to retain it as long as they can!

So, Amey was a ‘form boy.’ Ever since his ‘memorable’ first experience with Swami, he wanted to just be with Swami and dedicate his life to Him. And that seemed to be the precise direction in which he was headed. By the time he was in 8th grade, all the students and teachers knew him to be the ‘pet child’ of Swami. Amey had his appendicitis to thank for being instrumental in him becoming Swami’s pet!

Yes, you read it right! Towards the end of 1992, Amey had a severe tummy ache. That tummy ache soon was diagnosed as a swollen appendix infected with appendicitis. An operation to cut away the vestigial organ was suggested and Amey was scared. He got up and told Swami in the darshan lines that he had to undergo an operation. The moment Swami ‘got to know’ that he had appendicitis, the loving Divine mother in Him came to the fore. He gently patted him and assured him that all would be well. He called the doctors and told them that the best care must be taken of the boy.

Swami lovingly assures Amey that there is nothing to fear in an
appendicitis operation. 

The date for the operation was set a day after Amey’s birthday on December 24th. The operation went on very well and the doctors treated the case like they would do for a VVIP because Swami was enquiring about his health on a daily basis. All said and done, it was a simple appendicitis operation and by the 31st of December, Amey was hale and hearty, ready to be discharged. However, before he was discharged, a strange request came to him from the nurses and doctors of the Urology department in the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences - would he mind staying another day in the hospital and get discharged on the morning of the 1st of January?

The reason for this request was the fact that Swami would be visiting the hospital on the first day of 1993. The staff in the urology department rightly realized that if Amey was in the urology wards, Swami would definitely visit those wards! Amey agreed and Swami did indeed visit the Urology wing of the hospital. Thus, all the staff of the urology department enjoyed a special bonus of His darshan, sparshan and sambhashan (sight, touch and speech with Swami). The minute Swami left after His visit, Amey was discharged!

But that was not all. A white Mercedes car (registration number 8100) stood outside the hospital. Swami had sent His own car to pick up the boy from the hospital and take him back to the hostel! Needless to say, Amey was a hostel celebrity now and everyone spoke highly of his love, devotion and dedication to Swami without which it was simply not possible to enjoy the chances that he was enjoying. On the evening of New Year’s Day, Swami delivered a Divine Discourse in which He made Amey an example.

“See this appendicitis boy. He had to undergo an operation. He had to go through pain to overcome an existing pain.” (This exact sentence does not appear in the discourse link provided above because, as per the practice and policy, names and personal references are kept out unless they add to the message. Swami has Himself instructed that personal references are not important. The message is important.)

Swami also went on to advise the nurses on how they should take care of the patients and put caring for them even above having Swami’s darshan! Every nurse in the audience felt that Swami was speaking so because the ‘patient’ in His mind was Amey! That was the kind of love and grace that he was enjoying.

Stage serving and exhibition

The new year brought new chances for Amey. He was picked by Swami to be a part of the “stage-serving boys group” during the Annual Sports and Cultural Meet which was held on the 11th of January. That was another feather in his milestone-cap and Amey seemed to be on his way to smashing all previous ‘records’ of chances with the Lord at a tender age itself.

Amey being directed by Swami on how to go about serving the guests on stage - Sports Meet 1993.

Following the Sports Meet came another beautiful chance in the form of an exhibition which Swami attended. All the students of the school were asked to make ‘models’ which could be exhibited for Swami to see. Amey had made his exhibit behind which he had put in a lot of thought. Swami spent the maximum time at his exhibit when He came to see the 8th grade exhibition.

“Swami, this is the path to hell. The first part of the journey is filled with rose petals. That symbolizes easy gains, quick money and other such benefits which entice one to take the path. But later on, it is all suffering and misery symbolized by the thorns. The path to heaven is filled with thorns in the beginning, symbolizing the difficulties one faces when one is Truthful and Righteous. However, the later part of the journey is filled with rose petals to symbolize the peace and love that one receives by following the path. Swami’s picture in between the paths says that the Lord is the Sakshi Bhootam or the eternal witness.”

Amey explains his "heaven-hell" model as Swami listens in rapt attention. 

Swami smiled at the ‘wisdom’ of the little boy. He patted him lovingly on the head and expressed His appreciation. Once again, all the teachers and students were in admiration of Amey. In fact, after Swami left, Amey was also told to start preparing for another similar exhibition next year. Everyone felt that Amey’s model would once again, be the best.

These were how things stood when the final examinations for grade 8 were held and the annual summer vacation was declared. Looking forward to a happy vacation and a quick return therefrom to his dear Swami, Amey left for Muscat, to his parents. 8th grade had been a very fulfilling one for him. He had no idea of the storm that was about to hit him with the might of a devastating tsunami...

Things go horribly wrong

Amey was a hero at home, in his own country for everyone had heard of how close he was to Swami. He was looked up to even by the elders and was portrayed as a role model to all the youngsters. It was almost as if he had an invisible halo around his head! It was in these circumstances that Amey got into a rare argument with his father. The argument progressed and Amey was firmly asserting his point of view to his father. That was when the floodgates broke and Amey was caught horribly in the eye of a storm.

“SHUT UP NOW...THAT IS WHY THEY HAVE THROWN YOU OUT!” his father screamed at him. Amey did not understand one bit what his father was telling him. And his father was now in tears!

“Do you know, you have been expelled from Swami’s school?” he asked amid sobs.

Amey could simply not believe his ears. What was his father talking about? He was the ideal student, Swami’s favorite and the gem of his class. How could he be expelled?

“This is the letter that I have received from the principal. It says that I am required to go to Puttaparthi to collect your transfer certificate. You have been expelled because of three reasons:

1. Excessive and constant talk.

2. Unwanted contacts and friendship.

3. Medical problems.

You will not be going back to Puttaparthi! You have been thrown out of school. This has never happened to anyone in our family. Your mother and me have been looking out for good schools in the vicinity...”

Amey was not listening any more. Hot tears were streaming down his cheeks. He was in an absolute shock and did not know what to do or how to respond. Nobody came forward to hug him or console him because apparently, everyone was distraught. In one moment, his whole world had turned topsy turvy and from a hero, he had become a loser, a blotch in the family name.

“That was the beginning of the things going wrong that I told about”, said Amey.

“The beginning?”, I asked incredulously, “you mean to say that things went more wrong?”

“You bet”, said Amey, “I seemed to pummel down into a bottomless pit.”

“And yet, today you are here, where you are!”, I said encouragingly, ”how did that happen?”

“That is what I said in the beginning, that at times things have to go wrong before they can go right. In retrospect, I am grateful to Swami for all the beautiful memories and even for what seemed as rude shocks. The point is, just because things seem to be going wrong, it doesn’t mean that everything is lost. Going wrong is very much part of the Masterplan of things going right - like the failures which are considered as stepping stones for success. When I came to know that I was kicked out of school, I once again remembered Swami's statement during the New Year's Day discourse - that one pin is needed to weed out another bigger pain. I just hoped that this condition too would be the pain that is removing some greater pain that i would otherwise have to undergo."

Even as I prepared myself to hear the next part of his riveting story, I was lost in thoughts about the profundity of what Amey had just said.


...to be continued in an exciting second part. Read it at Moving away from God to get closer to Him.

For all readers:

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Broaden your vision because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder - a student's experience with Sri Sathya Sai

Nature beckons

The rains had arrived in great bounty over the parched and summer-scorched landscapes around Puttaparthi. A lush-green, velvety carpet seemed to spread over the hard, dry earth. Standing by the window at home, I looked at the looming hill, nicknamed Shiva, standing majestically beside a slightly smaller hill, Parvati. This Indian habit of naming anything beautiful and majestic after different gods and goddesses had got into my colleagues at the Prasanthi Digital Studio too. Thus, the otherwise ordinary hills near the neighboring village of Karnatenagepalli had got these divine names.

The sight of the lush green hills was too much for me to contain. My heart erupted in joy and I felt a strong desire to wander into the green and peaceful embrace of these hills. As the sun mellowed down from a harsh afternoon into a pleasant evening, I mounted my bicycle and was on my way towards the hills. Nature, in all its majesty, is such a powerful intoxicant and attractant for me. It just pulls me with such spontaneity and urgency that I drop whatever I am doing and get drawn to it.

The inspiration was great but the cycling was not that easy. 3-4 kilometers of country road which went up and down soon had beads of perspiration dripping from my forehead. I reached the edge of the grounds beyond which there was no navigable road. From here on, the journey had to be made on foot. I dismounted, parked the cycle and started off.

The path here was quite bad. Strewn with thousands of rocks and pebbles, it presented quite a danger of a slip and a fall. Adding to this was the fact that my feet were in ‘slip’pers instead of in shoes. Naturally, I began to place each foot after testing the ground. My progress was slow and laboured and my mental focus was at its peak. The perspiration continued and I realized that it was one thing to gaze at nature from the comforts of home but a totally different thing to be a part of it and explore it.

In fact, I now began to ponder over the spontaneity and impulsiveness of my decision. Wasn’t it a mistake to have walked this path? Nature looked quite good from home and so, where was the need to have ventured out? My mind was soon a muddle of such thoughts as my body battled the harsh terrain in its bid to maintain balance and control.

Drama of Life

It would be a good idea to leave my huffing and grunting on the hill slopes for a while and enjoy an interesting episode which concerns my master and best friend, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba. That would definitely be more ‘dramatic’ than my plight on the path. The episode dates back to the November of 1998 when Swami (as He is reverentially and endearingly called) was in the Poornachandra auditorium with a group of students preparing for that year’s Convocation drama.

For those that have come in new, the Convocation Drama is an annual cultural event enacted mostly by the senior-most students of the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning on the 22nd of November. The drama has an audience running in tens of thousands and Swami has always given its theme, dialogues and actors the greatest importance. As a matter of fact, Swami would often attend the rehearsals of every scene in the drama several times. He would select the costumes, check the script, compose songs and even make subtle changes in the plot to make the drama a wholesome and entertaining spiritual food for the audience. So much was His involvement in the drama that it was indeed a marvel at how He could sit and watch the same drama, completely engrossed, on the 22nd of November every year.

Deepak Anand in his costume
as Ramakrishna Paramahamsa.

Ah! Now coming to the main story. In the year 1998, the drama had a scene from the life of Swami Vivekananda and Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. Deepak Anand, currently a doctorate in the School of Business Management at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, then a student of the same Business School, was chosen by Swami to act the role of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa. As expected, a major part of the role included the devotion of the saint towards his ‘Maa’, his mother, the Goddess Kali.

Ramakrishna and his Krishna

The rehearsals began and soon, Swami was involved completely in the planning and practice of the drama. When the scene involving Ramakrishna came, Swami looked at the altar and asked,

“Why is there no idol in the shrine?”

Getting a statue of Goddess Kali is not easy in this part of the country. That was the reason why no idol adorned the altar. Swami went and fetched a statue of Lord Krishna. Giving it to the teacher-in-charge, he said,

“Here is the Krishna which Ramakrishna will worship. Place it in the altar.”

The teacher-in-charge did as he was told but he realized that Swami was making a rare ‘mistake here - Ramakrishna was a devotee of Mother Kali and not of Lord Krishna. Maybe Swami had got ‘confused’ because of the ‘Krishna’ in the saint’s name!

The next day, an idol of Goddess Kali was brought. Swami glanced at the idol. Mother Kali, baring her blood-red tongue stood over the carcass of the demon she had slaughtered. A garland of human skulls adorned her neck and a huge sword shone in her hand.

“No! Place the Krishna statue in the altar and continue the practice.”

An artist's impression of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa and Mother Kali. The fearsome
form of the Goddess can be seen clearly. 

Now the teacher was in a fix. If Swami were to insist on keeping the Krishna statue in Ramakrishna’s altar, it would be historically inaccurate. He tried to point out the error but Swami would listen to none of it. The teacher even tried replacing the Krishna idol with a smaller one so that the ‘error’ would not be noticed by a large section of the audience that were far from the stage. Swami did not agree to that too. He wanted that same Krishna idol to be in Ramakrishna’s altar. On his part, Deepak Anand, continued to improve on his acting with each passing session. He seemed to keep himself totally out of the Kali-Krishna controversy. Swami showered special attention and grace on him, telling him in detail about Ramakrishna Paramahamsa’s love for Mother Kali. Though He had bestowed a mantra for this boy to chant as his personal sadhana, Swami changed it into one on the Mother. He told him to chant the mantra on the Mother for the next few days. The boy was in bliss and felt his love for the Mother grow by leaps and bounds every passing day. In spite of all this, Swami stood firm on His decision on Krishna.

The unexpected turn

A couple of days before the actual drama, when everyone had resigned to having the idol of Krishna in the altar, Swami came up with a surprise packet. He asked for the Krishna idol to be replaced with the idol of Goddess Kali! He said that Ramakrishna Paramahamsa was a devotee of the Mother and it didn’t make sense to have the idol of Krishna in his altar.

Everyone was relieved. Finally, Swami seemed to have realized His error. Before He could change His mind again, the idols were quickly exchanged and everyone smiled at each other. It was only after Swami left that every person of the drama troupe came to know the secret behind Swami’s error. The secret came as a revelation from an overwhelmed Deepak Anand.

“When I saw the idol of Mother Kali, my feelings were of fear and even a little disgust. I wondered as to how I would be able to inculcate feelings of devotion and yearning towards such a fearsome and fiery form. Even as I was thinking thus, Swami brought in the beautiful idol of Krishna, my family deity. The connection and bonding was instantaneous for me. In the meanwhile, Swami Himself worked on my love and devotion towards the Mother. Incessant and intense chanting of the Mother’s mantra and hearing about Her from Swami stroked a deep and intense love in my heart. Today, I could see the change. When the idol of Mother Kali was brought to the altar, I did not see an idol, but my Mother, the object of my deep devotion and love.”

Swami with the students after the finale of the 1998 Convocation Drama. Deepak Anand can be seen clutching on to
Swami's right elbow, straining to remain in the frame. 

Everyone was stunned by this revelation! They could not imagine in their wildest thoughts the wisdom behind Swami’s apparent mistake. What a Masterstroke Swami had played! Now, everyone was lost in admiration for His subtle and beautiful ways. Being very ‘focused’ often makes one narrow in one’s vision. Broadening of one’s vision enables one to see the beauty that otherwise is missed.

Trekker’s Delight

The memory of Deepak Anand’s inspirational experience brought a little smile on my sweaty face. I decided to take a little break from my trekking and catch my breath. As I stood still, my eyes raised from the path they had been so diligently focusing on all this while. And then, what I saw took my breath away.

The hills and the dales that spanned before me were beautiful beyond description. The lush green carpets with bushes dancing in the wind, the fluttering butterflies and chirping birds, the soothing blue sky with its fluffy clouds - everything seemed so ethereal and other-worldly. The scene was as beautiful as it was when I had seen it from the window at home. How on earth had I missed all this?

I understood that being narrow-minded and too focused on just my perspective often blinds me to the beauty and glory that the Lord embodies. No wonder that it is said, "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder." If one's vision is broad, one is able to appreciate beauty. If one's vision is narrow, one is just not able to understand and realize the beauty! The members of the 1998 drama troupe realized it through Deepak Anand’s experience and I realized it through my little trek!

For all readers:

(If you enjoyed this and wish to subscribe to this blog, please go to the right hand side and choose the last 'box' which says subscribe. Another blog which I maintain with more than 200 articles on it is at http://aravindb1982.hubpages.com. You may visit that at your leisure. If you wish to be added to my mailing list, please email me via this page with the subject "ADD ME TO MAILING LIST".

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God's pining for the devotee - story of Meerabai and Sathya Sai

(This is concluding part of an ongoing story. Please read this after you have read the part 1 entitled - Love between Meerabai and the Lord- from source and not by force.

Thank you)

Swami and Koustubh in a conversation in Kodaikanal in the
summer of 2007.

Kodaikanal Trip 2007 - Koustubh realizes his aspiration

Koustubh’s story at Kodaikanal in 2007 was little different from what it had been in 2006. As it had happened on the previous trip, this time too, Swami (Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba) kept asking him to sing the Meera Bhajan, Darshan Deejo Aao, on a regular basis. And every time he sang, he longed to imbibe the love and devotion of Meerabai. That somehow, never seemed to be happening till a climactic day.

The evening bhajans had concluded and Swami was sitting with all the students in the small hall. This was the daily private session before dinner. He looked at Koustubh and told him to sing the Meera bhajan and Koustubh began. He closed his eyes and began to sing out the initial notes - Krishna... Krishna... These were the notes of Meera’s longing and pining and he tried to put in his best feelings and emotions as he sang them. Within, he felt as if Swami was gazing at him intently.

He opened his eyes and saw that Swami was indeed looking deeply into him. Their eyes met and Koustubh realized what he had been missing all this while. While his physical eyes had been closed and therefore blind to Swami’s gaze, his inner eye had been blind to the great love and longing that Swami had for him! In an instant, Koustubh realized that the Lord’s pining for His devotee was as intense if not greater than the devotee’s pining for Him. And here was his beloved Swami, looking with all love and pining, deep into his eyes. That was enough!

That was enough to well up tears in Koustubh’s eyes. Out of the blue, an eternal spring of love and pining sprouted in his heart. Once the devotee realizes how the Lord pines for him, reciprocal pining is spontaneous and instantaneous. The South Pole of a magnet is attracted to the North Pole of the magnet because the North Pole is attracted to the South Pole with equal intensity right? Such is the spontaneity of the ‘pining’ between the poles that one cannot say which is longing for the other.

As tears flowed down his cheeks, his vision became blurry. His voice choked and he was unable to sing. But he continued because his Swami was listening. As he wiped his tears what did he see? There were tears flowing down the Lord’s cheeks too! Those blobs of divine liquid were falling onto the robe and blotting it. That brought a fresh burst of tears from Koustubh’s eyes and those in turn did the same to Swami’s eyes. Would this beautiful leela end? Koustubh didn’t want it to for, in those few moments, he had realized the ONLY thing in life worth crying for and pining for. And when he was at the heights of his pining and crying for that absolute, he didn’t want things to come to an end. Swami was the first to wipe away His tears. He looked at one of the elders and said,

“Get me that gold-plated watch from inside. If I don’t give this boy something, he will not stop crying.”

Immediately, there was laughter. Koustubh stopped his song and his tears. Swami gifted him that  beautiful golden watch. Though he got the watch, the moment of great joy, blessing and divine peace when his gaze had met the Lord was over.

The Lord is as close to the devotee as the devotee is close to the Lord.
Logical right?

The Lord’s leela

In that single act, Swami had delivered another profound yet subtle message. A “golden watch” had stopped Koustubh’s tears for the Lord. When one is crying and pining for the Lord, the Lord gifts many a ‘golden watch’. We know that ‘golden watch’ by different names - wealth, relationship, career, fame. We often stop ‘crying’ for the Lord when that is given. Koustubh realized that in his life, he should never stop pining and crying for the Lord. He should never be satisfied with anything less than the ultimate blessing - the Lord Himself. Then only would he have become a devotee with the pining of Meerabai.

On His part, the Lord does this like the Divine Mother. When the infant is crying, the mother offers it toys and trinkets. The baby stops its crying and the mother continues with her work. It is only when the infant cries persistently, refusing to be placated by any toy or trinket that the mother stops whatever she is doing and picking up the baby, places it at her bosom. I felt inspired to be a ‘cry baby’ in that manner and always ‘cry Baba’.

Meerabai’s place in Sai’s heart

As stated earlier, almost on a daily basis, Swami heard Meera bhajans during the 2007 Kodaikanal trip. So, when He gave Rs.500/- to each of the students and told them to go shopping, one of them decided to buy a small Meerabai idol as a gift for Swami. The idol was small and cute and the boy was sure that Swami would like it.

Swami gifted the students with a session where He would examine what each of them had purchased. It is not as if He is interested in sundry shopping but He uses every opportunity to give chances of Divine interaction. At the end of half and hour, after all the boys had shown their purchases to Swami, Sai Giridhar went to Swami with the Meerabai idol. He showed it to Swami and Swami placed a hand on the idol. He then said,

“It is nice. Keep it.”

Giridhar clarified,

“Swami, this is a gift for you - Meerabai. Please keep it with you...”

Swami smiled and returned the idol. He then made a statement which I am sure enthralled the soul of Meerabai. Swami said,

“Idi verum bomma ra, Meerabai naalone undi.” (This is only an idol. Meerabai is in me. She is not separate from me.)

There was a silence after that and everyone could only marvel at the saint’s devotion to her Lord.

Sai Giridhar shows the idol of Meerabai to Swami in Kodaikanal. 

The Meerabai drama

Swami’s penchant for Meera bhajans kept growing as days passed by and that was a great blessing for Koustubh. He kept singing the song Darshan Deejo Aao very regularly. The other members of MTV (Meera TV) also got many chances to sing for their Lord. Since Meerabai seemed to make Swami so happy, the students made sure that each and every programme they put up for Swami had at least one Meera bhajan in it. The same line of thinking inspired the students of the Sri Sathya Sai Higher Secondary School to put up an entire drama on the life of Meerabai.

The drama was scheduled for January 2008 and Sri Ram Mohan Rao, my wonderful English teacher from school, called me on my cellphone,

“Aravind... I am calling you because I need a favour.”

“I would be happy to do anything for you sir.”

“Our school students are putting up a drama. Would you mind going through the script and help in directing it?”

Soon, I was neck-deep in the drama which had been titled “Bhakt Meera”.

Going through the script, I realized that though the drama had some Meera bhajans in it, the song, “Darshan Deejo Aao”, about which Swami had spoken so much in Trayee Brindavan, was not present!  I immediately suggested that the song be included. Since it was a long scene, the screenplay had to be created. No points for guessing what I did! I opened my diary and went through the description that Swami had given about Meerabai’s pining. We planned a screenplay together. It was just as Swami had narrated with Meerabai banging her head at the threshold of the sanctum sanctorum during the climax of the song.

The scene was coming out well. The next question was - Who would sing that song? I immediately suggested that it should be Koustubh. But how could a male singer lend voice to Meerabai? That was a dilemma. In my heart, I was convinced that “Darshan Deejo Aao” was Kaustubh’s special since Swami had made him sing it so many times. So, I wanted him to sing. I managed to convince Ram Mohan sir and all the others too about the idea. When we rehearsed, many smiled and some laughed at the discrepancy of a male voice emanating from a despondent Meera. I just ignored it and thankfully, Koustubh too adopted the same stance.

The 31st of January 2008 saw the school students stage the Meerabai drama in Swami’s presence. Everything went on pretty well and then came the time for the final scene.

Final scene

Something totally different happened as the final scene began. This was a scene that had always evoked muffled laughter. But even as Meerabai came crying out to Krishna and Koustubh’s voice rented the air with the notes “Krishna... Krishna... “ the whole atmosphere got transformed. Everyone sat enraptured because their Lord, their Swami was in tears. It was as if He was unable to bear Meerabai’s plight! And when Swami was like that, nobody even noticed that Meerabai was singing in a ‘male’ voice. Everyone was simply lost in her devotion and the devotion being exuded by Koustubh.

Meerabai went to threshold, in front of Krishna and began to ‘bang’ her head. The song built up to a climax and it would be a matter of another 15-20 seconds before Krishna would make an appearance to grant Meerabai her soul’s longing. But Swami was unable to bear the intensity of her pining. Even before ‘Krishna’ could come to her, He called out,

“Meerabai... Come...”

The boy who was playing the role of Meerabai saw that his Swami was calling him. Leaving the temple, he ran to Swami on the dais and Swami waved his palm, materializing a beautiful gold chain for ‘Meerabai’. As He placed the chain around ‘her’ neck, the song concluded and everyone in the audience applauded. It was hard to tell whether the Lord had ‘chain’ed the devotee or the devotee had ‘chain’ed the Lord!

Of course, Meerabai went back to complete the drama and offer herself to Lord Krishna who made an appearance. The  narrative and details of this drama is captured in the 31st January section of Prasanthi Diary.

As I wiped tears from my eyes that day, I thanked Swami for giving me a chance to be part of this drama. I also expressed my gratitude for having got the opportunity to see what true devotion is. Swami went down from the stage to grant group photos to the students. Even as I was taking the pictures, I could see Koustubh from the corner of my eye. His face reflected supreme happiness and peace - something that comes from only from union with God.

(Below here is the video of a concert by students at Brindavan, Whitefield on June 23, 2013. In this concert, Kaustubh Pare sang his favorite Krishna song, the Meera bhajan.)

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